"DON'T LIE TO YOUR MOM, TELL HER YOU ARE AT THE LIBRARY" . . . OH MY GODS . . . THE MINDFULNESS REVOLUTION; RADICAL ACCEPTANCE, THE NEW BELIEVER! IN A WAR WITH THE EVIL GENIUS, THE DEVIL, SATAN, LUCIFER. EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE, I STOP TO ACTUALLY PROCESS WHAT HAPPENS TO ME ON A DAILY BASIS, AND LAST NIGHT JUST HAPPENED TO BE ONE OF THOSE OCCASIONS. THERE APPEARED TO ME, TO BE AT LEAST ONE STING OP, TWO HITS, AND A CAMPAIGN OF TERROR LAST NIGHT, AS I SAT IN A STAIRWELL, LISTENING TO KLOVE GOSPEL CHANNEL, THAT IS PROBABLY SPELLED KLUV, NEVER HAVE SEEN THE STATION NAME IN PRINT. BUT, I THINK THIS IS EXACTLY THE CASE, AND WHY . . . MY INTEL GUY, GOD, INDICATED TO ME, THAT SEVERAL OF THE DOUBLE TROUBLE GIRLS HAVE BEEN PICKED UP AND CHARGED FOR IDENTITY THEFT AND A PLETHORA OF OTHER CHARGES, AND THEY ARE MANY. AND LIKE IS THE CASE WITH MANY GANGS, THE MOB, EVEN GOVERNMENT, POWERFUL CHURCHES, THERE IS A NEED FOR VENGEANCE, RETRIBUTION, RETALIATION, AND PAYBACK, IS A BITCH! NOW THIS INNER CIRCLE OF FAMILY, FRIENDS, CLIENTS, CHURCH MEMBERS, FBI, CIA, NSA, DIA, ATF, THE MOB, MARINES, AND THE TIGHT LIPPED, TIGHT KNIT GANG, DON'T SEEM TO HAVE THE SAME MORALS, ETHICS, INTEGRITY, HONESTY, AND NOBILITY THAT THE REST OF US DO . . . THEY, LITERALLY SEE THEMSELVES AS GODS, BETTER LOOKING, SMARTER, MORE CAPABLE, WITH SUPER COOPERATION, FOCUSED ON THEIR VIEW OF THE WORLD, AND ALL ELSE BE DAMNED! THEY ARE, IN SO MANY WAYS, "BIG BROTHER, BIG SISTER" INCARNATE! THEY BELIEVE THEY HOLD THE FATE OF US LITTLE PEOPLE IN THEIR GREEDY HANDS, THAT THEY WILL GRANT US THIS OR THAT FAVOR, GOING FROM THE BEDROOM, TO THE BOARDROOM, TO THE COURTS, ON THE STREETS, AND IN THE HOME. THEY THINK THEY CAN RAISE YOUR CHILDREN BETTER THAN YOU CAN, PICK YOUR SPOUSE WITH A GREATER DEGREE OF SATISFACTION THAT YOU COULD DO FOR YOURSELF, THEY FEEL ENTITLED TO TAKE WHATEVER THEY CAN TAKE, AND THE BEST WAY I CAN DESCRIBE THESE PEOPLE, IS THROUGH DARWINIAN THEORIES OF SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST, FOOD CHAINS, MATING PATTERNS OF ANIMALS, THE BIG BANG THEORY OF CREATION, AND A WORLD POLICING ENTITY, A CROWN WITH TITLES OF NOBILITY, OF A MAN MADE NATURE, AND A WORLD WHERE PEOPLE ARE CONTROLLED AND FORCED TO DO WHATEVER THE RULING ELITE DEMAND. THINK OF THE HUNGER GAMES, SOMETHING ALONG THOSE LINES, AND NOT SO FOR FETCHED, IN FACT, PEOPLE HAVE COMPARED PRESIDENT SNOW, TO PROPHET SNOW OF THE MORMON CHURCH, AND VARIOUS ASPECTS OF THE GAME, WOULD CONNOTE THIS TYPE OF SOCIETY. THE PROBLEM IS, THEY ARE USING MY FAMILIES MONEY, AND AT LEAST I, JUST FUCKING DON'T SEE THE JOY IN LIVING THAT TYPE OF LIFE, EVEN IF I WERE ONE OF THE ALLEGED ELITE! NO, THE CONSTITUTION, FITS ME JUST FINE . . . I DON'T NEED MY NAME IN LIGHTS, DON'T NEED THE SPOTLIGHT, I KNOW THAT I AM LOVED, I KNOW THAT I AM ADORED. AS I SAT, ABANDONED, ALONE, LISTENING TO THESE AMAZING NEW GOSPEL SONGS, WITH INSPIRING MESSAGES, AND THE ROLE JESUS CHRIST PLAYS IN OUR LIVES, IF WE WILL LET HIM, WITH SEVERAL OF THE SONGS REMINDING ME OF A CHALLENGE, DIRECTION, OR GAME PLAN, THAT I FEEL THAT GOD IS INDICATING HE WANTS ME TO TAKE, AND I HAVE GONE MY OWN WAY, WHILE HE PATIENTLY WATCHES OVER ME DAILY, SAVING MY ASS, PROTECTING ME, OR SENDING PEOPLE WHO ARE INSPIRED TO SAVE ME, KNOWINGLY OR NOT, AND HAVE STEPPED UP, AS IS THE SITUATION LAST NIGHT, THAT WHEN I THOUGHT ABOUT IT, ESPECIALLY IN LIGHT OF THE TRUE CRIME STORY I MADE REFERENCE TO, AND THE YOUNG PEOPLE I MET, WITH A RENEWED ENERGY, WITH COOL MILLENNIUMS JOINING THE FIGHT, AND THESE KIDS WERE WELL VERSED IN THE SCRIPTURE, AND SEEMED TO USE THEM TO GUIDE THEIR LIVES . . . BUT, I REMEMBERED THE FACT THAT TWO YEARS AGO, WHEN FRESH LIFE CHURCH, WAS GOING TO SET UP A NEW CAMPUS IN BOZEMAN, MONTANA, AND THAT SEEMED TO BE A GLIMMER, IN PASTOR LEVI'S EYE, A LONG SHOT IF YOU WILL, AND I REMEMBER, FEELING DRAWN TO THE CHALLENGE, TO HELP THIS EFFORT. I WROTE A SOMEWHAT FUNNY BLOG, TELLING ALL THE COWBOYS AND GIRLS, COLLEGE STUDENTS, AND FAMILIES, THAT WE WERE COMING TO BOZEMAN TO SAVE THEIR SORRY ASSES, AFTER THEIR PARTYING ON SATURDAY NIGHT. ABOUT THAT SAME TIME, I WROTE ABOUT CHRIST LOVE FOR THE WORLD, THAT NOTHING COULD SEPARATE US, HUMANS FROM HIS LOVE, NOT EARTHQUAKES, FAMINE, PESTILENCE, SLAUGHTER, ETC., AND THEN SEEING THAT THE WORLD, LIKE LIQUID PLANET, JUST SUCKED THIS STUFF UP, WITH A 30,000,000 HIT JUMP IN MY BLOG NUMBERS, BACK IN THE DAY, WHEN I ACTUALLY GOT A FAIR READ AND THE BOX TROLLS, HAD NOT COMPLETED THEIR STEALING HABITS, HACKING, AND ERASING. BUT, MY THOUGHT WAS, PEOPLE ARE STARVED FOR WHAT CHRIST HAS TO OFFER TO THEIR LIVES, HELPING WITH FAMILIES, DRUGS, ALCOHOL AND OTHER ADDICTIONS, ANGER, DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, HATE, WARRING FACTORS, BULLYING, ABUSE, SEXUAL CRIMES AND OTHER CRIMES . . . HE CAN FIX IT ALL! I HAVE FOUGHT FOR FREEDOM THROUGH RIGHTS, AND THE CONSTITUTION, THROUGH THE LAW, BUT I AM STILL FRUSTRATED, SO, IT CAME TO ME LAST NIGHT, THAT IT IS IN JESUS CHRIST, THAT I CAN LEARN TO FORGIVE, LEAVE THINGS IN HIS HANDS, AND TRUST THAT JUSTICE WILL BE SERVED, EITHER IN THIS LIFE OR THE NEXT. HE KNOWS THE BEGINNING FROM THE END, I DON'T! I TRUST HIM, BUT NOT COMPLETELY, TRYING TO SOLVE THIS INJUSTICE THAT HAS BEEN DONE TO ME, OVER THE LAST 15 YEARS, AND VERY INTENSELY, THE LAST 4 . . . YESTERDAY, THAT COUNTRY SONG, "JESUS TAKE THE WHEEL" CAME ON, RIGHT AS I WAS THINKING OF SOME OF THE EVENTS OF THE DAY. I FELT IMPRESSED THAT THE LAW IS MY LOWER SELF, LET IT GO, HE HAS A LARGER MISSION FOR ME, ONE THAT IS FAR BETTER, LIKE GIVING PEOPLE, HIS FREEDOM, FREEDOM FROM THE CHAINS OF SIN, FREEDOM OVER DEATH, FREEDOM OVER SELF, HATE, ANGER--THAT IS WHERE THE REAL POWER FOR GOOD LAYS. WITH EACH SONG, THERE SEEMED TO BE A MESSAGE, PERSONALLY ADDRESSED TO ME, TO WHAT WAS HAPPENING, TO THE CONVERSATION WITH DREW AND REBECCA, AND THEIR MISSIONS, HELPING THEM OR OTHERS TO INVITE JESUS CHRIST, THE MOST POWERFUL NAME ON EARTH AND IN HEAVEN WHEN DEALING WITH THE FATHER OR GOD. AS TOUGH AS LIFE GETS, GOING TO THE EXTREMES, I STILL HAVE SO MUCH JOY, SO MUCH LOVE, SO MUCH HAPPINESS, IN SPITE OF DEATH THREATS, STING OPS, DAILY, BEING HUNTED, TRACKED, AND ROBBED OF EVERYTHING, I FIND NEAR AND DEAR TO ME, LEAVING ME RAW AND STRIPPED TO THE CORE OF WHO I AM . . . GOD REPROVES AND CHASTISES THOSE HE LOVES . . . MAYBE I HAD TO GET THE SHIT BEATEN OUT OF ME, BEFORE I WOULD DO WHAT HE REALLY PUT ME HERE ON EARTH TO DO, BUT FOR THIS WAS I BORN, TO ECHO CHRIST, AS HE HUNG OF THE CROSS AND RELINQUISHED CONTROL OF HIS LIFE TO THE FATHER, DRINKING OF THE BITTER CUP, THAT SAVED US FROM SIN, AND PAYING FOR IT ON OUR OWN. A SONG CAME ON THAT SAID, GIVE ME SOMETHING THAT WILL SAVE MY LIFE TONIGHT . . . AND THIS IS WHAT WILL SAVE YOUR LIFE, AND GOD WANTS US TO BE SUCCESSFUL, IN HIS WAY, AND THAT IS DIFFERENT THAT THE WAYS OF MAN, IT IS LASTING JOY AND FREEDOM, ABOVE RIGHTS, LIBERTIES, AND PROTECTIONS. TRUE CHRISTIANS HAVE ALWAYS BEEN PERSECUTED, THAT IS OUR LOT IN LIFE, BUT THROUGH OBEDIENCE THROUGH THE THIBGS THAT WE HAVE SUFFERED, WE HAVE COME TO KNOW HIM! AND I HAVE, WHAT A BEAUTIFUL THING . . . HE STANDS AT THE DOOR AND KNOCKS. ANOTHER SONG SAID, I WENT AND HAD TO DO MY OWN THING, AND I DID, BUT I AM READY NOW LORD. I HAVE GIVEN MY LORD AND SAVIOR, A HALF ASS JOB OF WHAT HE INTENDED ME TO DO, BUT THAT SEEMS TO BE OKAY WITH HIM. PASTOR DENNIS OF NEW HOPE CITY CHURCH, SAID, JOANN, THIS IS NOTHING NEW, YOU HAVE HAD THE SAME STUFF HAPPENING TO YOUR FOR THE WHOLE TIME I HAVE KNOWN YOU . . . WRITE ABOUT RELIGION OR THE GOOD NEWS OF THE GOSPEL, OR ABOUT CHRIST, AND MAYBE YOUR ENEMIES WILL NOT CARE TO KILL YOU ANY MORE. MAYBE! I HAVE PLACED POLITICS AND MY HATRED FOR THESE PEOPLE, ABOVE HIS CALL TO HELP HIM . . . BETTER LATE THEN NEVER! LOL! LOOK FOR CHANGES . . .