BECOMING FREUD (ADAM PHILLIPS). DRUNK? NO! STONED? NO. BRILLIANT? YES! DEAD" NO . . . I AM ONLY GUILTY OF BEING MORMON! WITH A $357 MILLION SECURITIES, CIVIL RIGHT SUIT AGAINST THE STATE OF UTAH, SECURITIES DIVISION, WITH GOVERNOR, ATTORNEY GENERAL, AND OTHERS AS DEFENDANTS--A NATIONWIDE FOLLOWING OF ATTORNEYS, FINANCIAL PLANNERS AND WEALTHY DONORS WATCHING ME TAKE ON THE SEC, FOLLOWED BY A $56.7 MILLION LAWSUIT AGAINST CORRUPTION IN IRON COUNTY--COPS, PROSECUTOR, NARC COPS, DIVISION OF CHILD AND FAMILY SERVICES, A JUDGE, ETC., STARTING IN 2010, FOLLOWED BY ANOTHER $300 MILLION IN CASES AGAINST THE GOVERNMENT, AND NEW CLIENTS LINED UP AND WAITING FOR CASES, ADDED TO AN ALLEGEDLY VIABLE, MORMON PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE, HEADING INTO THE 2012 ELECTIONS, BEING #2 IN CIVIL RIGHTS DEFENSE IN THE NATION, BEHIND FAMED COWBOY ATTORNEY, JACKSON HOLE, WYOMING, GERRY SPENCE, AND A NEW WORLD ORDER TO USHER IN . . . WITH AMERICA WATCHING, THIS FEMALE ATTORNEY, ARISING FROM THE DEPTHS OF FEMALE SUBSERVIENCE, POLYGAMY, FEMINIST BACKLASH, AN ABORTION, A RISING ROCK STAR SON, WITH A SONY RECORD DEAL, NO MORE CUT FROM THE MORMON MOLD THAN HIS MOTHER, AND GOD'S REVOLVER, HARD ROCK BAND OF 2008, BUT KICKING OUT A NEW CD IN 2011, FROM THE RED JESUS BAND . . . THAT IMAGE OF MORMONISM WAS BEING SHATTERED, AND IN THE MORMON CHURCH'S COLLECTIVE MIND, WITH 70% OF THE CIA, FBI, NSA, AND OTHER FEDERAL AGENCIES, BEING MORMON, WITH TOTAL ACCESS, TO COMPUTERS, COURTS, UP TO AN INCLUDING TO THE UNITED STATES SUPREME COURT, THE TEMPTATION TO REPRESS THE "REAL" PRODUCTS OF THE MORMON CHURCH, SOUTHWICK FAMILY, AND AMERICA, WERE JUST TOO UNBEARABLE, AND RISKY FOR WHAT WAS AT STAKE, SO RATHER THAN EMBRACING DIVERSITY IN CULTURE AND THOUGHT, THE FAMILY, FRIEND, AND ATTORNEY DOUBLES, FORGERS, AND FRAUDS, TOOK OVER, LEAVING ME, FALSELY ACCUSED, EXILED, ISOLATED AND AT TIMES IMPRISONED, DIVIDING THE MORMON CULTURE, BETWEEN TRUTH AND JUSTICE VS. TRADITION AND PERCEIVED HONOR! A BATTLE THAT NEVER SHOULD HAVE TAKEN PLACE! TO FREUD, THE FATHER OF PSYCHOANALYSIS, "LOST SOULS" WOULD HAVE BEEN, OF COURSE, THE MORMON CHURCH AND CULTURE, AND THOSE CHRISTIAN SOULS LOST, PERHAPS, TEMPORARILY, TO THE FAITH VS. THE NATION, WERE THOSE MOST IN NEED OF "IMPROVEMENT!" I AGREE . . . PERHAPS THIS SHORT, BULLET VERSION OF THE LAST CHAPTER OF THE BOOK, ENTITLED, "PSYCHOANALYSIS COMES OUT" STARTING ON PAGE 122, OF "BECOMING FREUD" WILL HELP OTHER PEOPLE, WHOM HAVE EXPERIENCED A SIMILAR SPLIT, BEING TORN OR EXILED, FROM FAMILY, HOME, CULTURE, FAITH, STATE, AND OTHER THINGS, SEEN AS A DEMOCRATIC LIBERAL, MY RIGHT, IN A CONSERVATIVE CITY, COUNTY, JUDICIAL DISTRICT, STATE, AND CHURCH, THAT CONTROLS THE STATE . . . WITH LITTLE SEPARATION OF CHURCH AND STATE, IF ANY WALL OF SEPARATION AT ALL . . . WHICH FOR THIS BAD ASS CON LAW CHICK, TRAINED IN THE WAYS OF CONSTITUTIONAL LAW, RAN FACE TO FACE WITH THE PATRIARCHAL RELIGIOUS AUTHORITY, THAT RAN, THE UTAH STATE BAR, THE COURTS, THE LEGISLATURE, THE FAMILY, FRIENDS, CLIENTS, AND THE STATE! WITH MY ONLY CRIME, BEING THAT OF BEING, PROBABLY A WOMAN, AND A MORMON! I WAS THE WRONG ILK FOR THESE FOLKS, AND MANY FOLKS IN MONTANA . . . BUT, HOPEFULLY, THEY I.D.! LOL! SO, LAY BACK ON MY LEATHER COUCH, SHUT YOUR EYES, AND LEARN SOMETHING ABOUT YOURSELF, AS A MEMBER OF THE SPECIES, FOR FREUD VERY MUCH, USED A DARWINIAN FRAMEWORK, FOR HIS WORK, SEEING US AS LITTLE MORE THAN ANIMALS, SEEKING PLEASURE

The Power of Playing Cards!

One thing the Southwick clan did and does, is play Canasta, a card game, that binds generations, and serves as a training ground of social, religious, and societal norms, values and morals.  Now, for some reason, while following many of the dictates of the Mormon Church, card playing, was literally, still on the table, even though, the Mormon Church prophet and others, admonished members to not indulge.  I believe, that Grandmother Southwick, the matriarch of the clan, stopped playing for a while; however, when she didn't die immediately, she figured, it was not worth giving up this family game and bonding activity, that all Southwicks learn to play by the time they are about 5!  Talk about the CNN kids, debates, for those presidential candidates that can't make the grade, in the polls, new in-laws, and out-laws, that marry into the extended family, are relegated to the kids table in cards too, until such a time as their spouse, decides they are worthy of more lofty opponents, or there is a seat that needs to be filled. But, little did, I think, that giving up my seat at the card tables, during three years of law school, followed by teaching college and practicing law, full time, I would be forgotten from the family tree, altogether, and so would my posterity, unless they sided against their mother, for survival, which Freud, boils down, as a driving factor in a person's life.

So, here we go for the deep psychoanalysis, that will cure the human race if believed and used . . . I found it very helpful, and insightful, and dead sight, right on!  Just a little background on me, to make you feel somewhat comfortable, letting me analyze your childhood, family, background, transference, sexuality, needs, compromising pleasure in the service of survival, in this dog eat dog, world of ours, as seen through the eyes of Charles Darwin, and the survival of the species theories, that, seem to be the only theories, that made sense to me, in looking at what happened to me, and to Freud as he looked deep in the subconscious of his patients, whom he based his theories on.  I do want to note that on a practical note, that if we all followed the survival of the fittest, or the ones with the most numbers, power and positions, junior could simply beat grandma to a bloody pulp and  take his inheritance . . . not very civilized, in my opinion, but my enemies in this game of thrones, all based on my family, and what could be wrestled away from it, and I am talking my immediate family, former spouse and children, you can see the brutality of what we, were and are up against.  But, having said thHat, I started a master's degree in family and human development, after changing my mind about a degree in social work, and the behest of my ex-husband's uncle, who coined that area of practice, as let me help you into adultery . . . or, they cover masks of bad childhoods, with smiley faces, in order to use their patients to figure out their own, psychosis!  LOL!

In addition to that, I started a master's level in ancient scripture studies at BYU, shortly before going to law school, later teaching family law at Brigham Young University, and the University of Utah, undergraduate studies, and working with family issues, from domestic violence, child abuse, to elder abuse and fraud, so, somewhat of a semi-expert in these areas of becoming a Freudian psychoanalyst for just a few moments, or enough time to save you some time and thought, but maybe helpful, in some ways.  

A Biography As Great As Its Subject

• "The most violent revolutions in an individual's beliefs, leave most of his old order standing." William James, Pragmatist

FAMOUS JOHNSONISMS IN JAMES BOSWELL'S BIOGRAPHY, "LIFE OF JOHNSON"

• "When a man is tired of London, he is tired of life."
• "One of the disadvantages of wine is that it makes a man mistake words for thoughts."
• "Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel."  

HISTORICALLY SPEAKING, AMANDA FOREMAN . . . GOLD THAT GLITTERS AND KILLS

• "When piles of gold begin to grow . . . that's when the trouble starts."

Dreams, Family Backgrounds, Transference, Sexuality, Needs

Thesis: 

(1) understanding of the patients pleasure seeking, and how it was linked into his survival

• revival of lost opportunities, missed chances, uncompleted actions (jealous sisters, attorney friends, professional jealousy in general)
• new story about the possibilities of pleasure, the struggle for survival, is the struggle for pleasure
• Darwin: sexuality as a biological imperative

(2) whether the patient could recover the pleasure that would make his life worth living

• poverty in childhood . . . adult, impoverished sense of possibility 
• how much confidence could be lost in development
• we are only animals, longing to grow up, and they hated growing up, and sabotaged it
• all seen within the Darwin context

Themes: the child, the dream, development as the narrowing of the mind and stifling of the heart, society as the enemy of the individual passion and vision, the suspicion of traditional forms of authority, and the new exhilaration about the possibilities of language

FREUD, WONDERING WHAT PEOPLE WERE TALKING ABOUT THEIR SUFFERING

• when they were talking about their symptom ridden thoughts
• noticed what they needed to omit to make their stories seem possible and coherent
• how often, for modern people (patients) talking about their lives was talking about their resistance to their: fears, their sabotaging of, their horror of pleasure, and the feeling of aliveness that comes with it
• what happened when the patient couldn't assimilate it
• sexuality was an emblem of the unassailable (Judaism, Mormonism, Catholicism, Islam, etc. was another such emblem . . . Freud was Jewish)
• sustaining pleasure of religion, rootedness, family, sexuality, were radically under rated
• once there was despair about traditional, the conventional, the familiar pleasures, pleasure might be found in despair itself, and other alien forms of suffering

Freud found that suffering gave pleasure and it was sufficient with surprising (secular) news about ourselves

• masochism--our best trick for survival, making inordinate suffering, our profoundest pleasure
• seeing sexuality as something we suffered
• so the meaning of our suffering was sexual
• and suffering could be satisfying

Freud's writings were applied to, in my case, a professional, Jack-Mormon, well assimilated in his culture, a woman betrayed by her culture, accused falsely, as it happened, of treacherous writing, a woman punished, silenced and exiled, who divided society that had failed her, and who was ultimately celebrated as a hero of fortitude and stoic integrity . . . as in taking the oath to protect, defend, and preserve the Constitution, in light of a society, that wanted to rid, not only the state of Utah of it, but who needed to rid the nation of the guiding principles and tenants, so that a one world order, with a Mormon President could prevail.

• truth and justice vs. tradition and honor
• Mormons used their religious inheritance as a justification for their ethical position, but mistrusted spiritual musing and religious enthusiasm, which they through promoted an irrational and dangerous obscurantism . . . which made Mormons attentive again, to ways they presented themselves . . . falsely accused, exiled, isolated, and imprisoned, being Mormon, was not a way of not being an American, believing that I did nothing wrong.
• the Mormons, like sexuality itself, represent unacceptable sociability; promiscuous pleasure-and-power seeking . . . the only thing I was guilty of, was being Mormon!
• and being Mormon meant being, essentially, a saboteur of the nation-state, a person who's allegiances could not by definition, be patriotic, writings could not be trusted, I associated with others in unpredictable ways, and could only be, by definition, nefarious, and unfathomable to the non-Mormon
• nexus of associations of guilt, betrayal, sexuality and Mormonism; each of these having to be concealed or disguised or disowned
• dangerous, unknowable affinities and allegiances . . . who do people want to be with and what do they want to be together?  Thus the inner circle of the known, the Mo Muffins, attorneys, who could be controlled by the Mormon Church, or other authority figures, within the government, seeing them as no threat, unlike myself . . . dreams can reveal this paradigm and acceptable structure

Freud was beginning to describe how our cultures live in us, more than we live in our cultures!

• through this we can discover destructive socialization, as was clear from the casualties of the particular forms of socialization that consults or commits him or her for treatment
• there is no such thing as innocence . . . we are always accused of, or accusing ourselves of being accused of something
• we are always guilty, which means we are perpetually self-hating
• what my case has made all too vivid is the precariousness of domestic liberalism, of its being haunted by illiberalism (the return of the repressed)
• modern people endanger themselves by the way on which they protect themselves
• unconscious form of self-blinding, and ways of occluding a piece of reality (my right to an abortion, or my son's right to long hair, a band, and being part of the counter-culture in Utah, my cases, taking on the established hierarchy, threatening the image of the Mormon Church, Mitt Romney, and the Constitution, serving as a threat to planned goals of a one world order, with a Mormon president, documentary in the UK, BBC, with Kay Burningham, the forging attorney, meeting up with Mitt, one day after a U.S. Magistrate, up and terminated the case, because they could not win, the jurisdictional arguments, the bribes had been paid, the government defaulted, and they had to get rid of ME!

Makes sense to me . . . You?  Well, you can get off my couch now, I am going to dinner.  Hopefully, some of you did some soul searching yourself, putting your own lives, pleasures, suffering in perspective, as well as your religious upbringings!

HAVE A CHEERY GOOD NIGHT, ALL!