DEADEYE ACCURACY. LUCKY EAGLE. GOLDFISH SWIMS RIGHT THROUGH THE JAWS OF THE GREAT WHITE SHARK! THESE WINGS ARE MADE FOR FLYING! SHARECONSTRUCTION. 4 FOR THE BLOGGER, 1,500,000 FOR CONSTRUCTION! PORGY & BESS. W(USE YOUR)RDS. HYPER TOUGH. ALWAYS SOMETHING! STINK OP LA FITNESS! SPILLING OUT INTO THE ALLEY BEHIND THE GYM ALL THE WAY TO THE BUS TOP, NEAR THE BANK! CATALYST: WORKPLACE ACTIVATOR. WOW. LIVE FIT. NORMALLY EMPTY ALLEY, JAM PACKED THIS MORNING . . . CHECK THOSE SECURITY CAMERAS . . . (1) COMMUNICATING WITHOUT COMMUNICATING, COP CHICK, WEARING A BLACK & WHITE SWIM CAP, COMES TO THE POOL, ONLY ABOUT, 5 MINUTES FROM THE FINISH OF MY EXERCISE ROUTINE, AT LEAST THE WATER OR POOL PART . . . SHE STARTS TO GO DOWN TO THE NORMAL STAIRS THAN MOST PEOPLE USE, BUT, BACKTRACKS TO RIGHT WHERE I WAS STANDING . . . SOME POSITIONING? POWER PLAY? ATTEMPT TO INTIMIDATE? DOESN'T! SO, FOR JUST A FEW MINUTES WERE SHARED A LANE, WHICH WAS EXPECTED, WITH PEOPLE IN THE OTHER TWO LANES TOO. BUT, SHE ONLY WENT UP THE POOL TO THE OTHER END, BUT NOT THE FULL LENGTH OF THE POOL? THEN SHE CAME BACK, NOT THE FULL LENGTH TO ME? I FINISHED, WENT TO THE OTHER END OF THE POOL TO GET MY SWIM SHOES, WATER WONDERS, AND WHILE I AM SITTING ON THE STAIRS, BEHIND A LARGE PILLAR, SHE PEEKS AROUND THE STRUCTURE AND JERKS BACK, SO I KNEW SHE WAS, THERE FOR ME, FOR SURE! SHIT! (2) I GOT OUT OF THE POOL, PUT MY POOL TOYS AWAY, AND WENT TO TAKE A SHOWER. (3) RIGHT AS I GOT DONE WITH MY SHOWER, SHE GOT OUT OF THE POOL, AT THE STAIRS RIGHT WHERE I WAS? OKAY, A RACE. DITCH THE REST STATIONARY BIKE, AND, THE TWO MACHINES YOU FORGOT BECAUSE, SOME ASSHOLE WAS ON HIS CELL PHONE, TAKING ALL YOU CIRCUIT TIME! (4) THIS BITCH MUST HAVE HAULED ASS, BECAUSE, BY THE TIME, I HIT THE ENTRANCE TO THE SAUNA, SHE WAS, ALREADY HEADING TO THE SHOWER WITH HER, SHIT! FUCK THE SAUNA, I DRESSED, AND HEADED OUT OF THE GYM! (5) NOW, NORMALLY, LIKE I SAID, THE ALLEY BEHIND LA FITNESS, WITH PARKING STRUCTURES, AND THE BACK SIDE OF A BANK, WITH, A WALKWAY, BEHIND THE FITNESS CENTER, IS GENERALLY, A FUCKING GHOST TOWN! (6) IT WAS LIKE SOME FESTIVAL WAS GOING ON: (A) THE SECURITY GUARD, FBI AGENTS, WAS STANDING AT ATTENTION, RIGHT OUT THE GARAGE I COME THROUGH; (B) RIGHT ACROSS THE ALLEY, THERE WAS A BLACK DUDE AND SOME WHITE CHICK, LONG BROWN, HAIR, IN A PONY TAIL, WITH CARS, LINING THE WHOLE FUCKING OPPOSITE SIDE OF THE ALLEY! THE SCENE SHOCKED ME, BUT, DIDN'T . . . I AM SO USED TO THIS SHIT, THAT, I JUST WALKED THROUGH THE WHOLE MESS! WHEN THE BLACK DUDE IN THE PURPLE SHIRT, SAW ME, HE JUMPED, TO ATTENTION AND TURNED, TO THE CHICK, WHO THEN, PROMPTLY RAN, ACROSS THE ALLEY AS I RECALL, TO THE WALK WAY . . . SURPRISE YOU GUYS? LOL. (C) THERE WAS A GUY STANDING AT THE SECRET SIDEWALK THAT GOES BEHIND THE GYM, ANOTHER DUDE, STANDING AT THE DOCK, IF I RECALL, SEVERAL, SERVICE TRUCKS, EVEN ON THAT SIDE OF THE ALLEY . . . SOMETIMES THAT IS COMMON, BUT MORE RARE THAN, COMMON; (D) I EVEN STOPPED TO TAKE A BREAK, A SLIGHT INCLINE, SO, GENERALLY, A BIT OUT OF BREATH, AFTER WORKING OUT; (E) I CONTINUED MY JOURNEY TO THE CEMENT EMBANKMENT, WALL, TO SIT UNDER THE SHADE, UNTIL, 550 SOUNDER, TO SEATTLE COMES TO PICK US UP . . . THERE WERE ABOUT 6 PEOPLE STANDING IN LINE . . . I ALWAYS WAIT, SITTING DOWN, RATHER THAN IN THE AFTERNOON SUN; (E) SO, I BELIEVE IT WAS THE BLACK DUDE FROM THE ALLEY, WHO PULLS UP IN HIS, BLACK SUV, SECRET SERVICE STYLE, AND STOPS IN THE DRIVEWAY, NEAR, POTBELLY SANDWICH SHOP AND SOME OFFICE BUILDING, BUT, THIS WAS 4:00 PM, SO TRAFFIC WAS STARTING TO COME OUT OF THE PARKING STRUCTURES AND SOME COMING INTO THE ALLEY . . . HE STOPPED, AND YELLED OUT OF THE WINDOW, HEY FRIEND--LIKE, AH, NICE TRY! LOL. I WASN'T SURE WHO HE WAS TALKING TO FOR SURE--SOME ASIAN CHICK WENT BY, HE DIDN'T SEEM TO TRY TO GET HER ATTENTION, THEN, SOME DUDES, THEY DIDN'T RESPOND AS IF THEY KNEW HIM . . . HE THEN, GOT OUT OF THE VEHICLE, AND LIKE RAN UP AS CLOSE AS HE DARED TO ME . . . HEY FRIEND, IN NOT BROKEN, ENGLISH, BUT IT CAME FROM SOMEONE FROM ANOTHER COUNTRY, WHO SPOKE PRETTY GOOD ENGLISH. HE DIDN'T DARE LEAVE THE SUV, ON, FOR LONG AND I DIDN'T MOVE, SO HE GOT BACK IN HIS, VEHICLE AS I DECIDED, THIS WAS A GOOD TIME TO GO TO THE BUS, THAT CAME AROUND THE CORNER ABOUT THE TIME I THOUGHT THAT! (F) THERE WAS ANOTHER MAN, STANDING, AT THE CORNER, BLONDE, AVERAGE HEIGHT, STOOD THERE, DURING MOST OF THIS SHIT GOING DOWN; (G) THE BLACK DUDE, AND THE BLACK SUV, CROSSED THE STREET, WHILE HE WAS STILL TRYING TO GET MY ATTENTION! GOT ON THE BUS, MY CHARIOT OF FIRE! GONE WITH THE WIND! I KNEW I BEAT THE CHICK OUT OF THE DRESSING ROOM, SO THE COACH AND SPOT CHECKER WERE GONE . . . I FIGURED, THAT, SHE WAS MAYBE FOOLED, AND MAY HAVE GIVEN THEM, SQUIRREL, DESCRIPTION . . . I KNEW THEY WERE ON ME, BUT, I THOUGHT, BACK TO JUST WHERE EXACTLY, OTHER THAN, BEING FASTER, THAN THE CHICK WHO WAS PROBABLY, WORRIED, KNOWING COPS, THAT, HER PUSSY, AND ASSHOLE WAS, TOTALLY, POLISHED, SHAVED, AND LUBED UP! LOL. ONE OF THE BENEFITS OF NOT GIVING A RAT'S ASS, ABOUT WHAT MEN, THINK ABOUT ME! IT GIVE ME THE WINNING EDGE! LOL. BUT, THERE WAS SOMETHING IN THE POOL, THAT MAY HAVE CONFUSED HER, AND THOSE WATCHING FROM SURVEILLANCE, I AM ALWAYS TRAINING THESE DIP SHITS . . . BUT, I HAD MY BALL CAP RIGGED WITH MY MP3 PLAYER, LOOKING THE TOTAL NERD, ROCKIN' TO THE MUSIC, THAT MAKES ME WORK OUT TWICE AS FAST AND TWICE AS HARD . . . THE LAST THREE DAYS, THE COPS OR NSA OR HACKERS, HAVE ZAPPED, THE POWER, AFTER I CHARGE IT THE NIGHT BEFORE, PISSED, BUT, THIS TIME, IT WORKED . . . BUT SOME MOTHER, DAUGHTER, ISRAELI TEAM, I MET THE OTHER DAY, AND TOLD, THEM, THAT WAS MY DAUGHTER, ON THE WALLS, STOPPED ME IN THE POOL, TO ASK ABOUT HER. NO SHE IS NOT A SWIMMING CHAMPION, SHE IS A MODEL, OF FITNESS, AND SHE IS ON ALL THREE SIDES OF THE POOL, CHEERS ME WHEN, I GET DONE, AND SHE IS ALSO, ALL OVER THE WALLS UP ON THE OTHER FLOORS, AND IN THE STAIRS . . . SHE HAS A PERFECT BODY, AND I MARRIED HER DAD WITH GREAT LEGS, TO FIX, SOME OF MY IMPERFECTIONS! THEY SAID, SHE IS JUST GORGEOUS, AND PERFECT! I KNOW. THANK YOU, NOT ONLY GRETA, BUT, NICOLE, CHRIS AND ELLIOT, ALL, BEAUTIFUL AND SMART TOO, ALL HAVE BEEN ASKED TO MODEL! GENERALLY RIGHT OFF THE STREETS! BUT, WHEN, I WAS TALKING TO THE WOMAN, AND THIS IS A GOD THING, MY CLIPPED, MP3 NERD BOX, SOMEHOW, DROPPED, OFF MY HAT, IMPOSSIBLE, AND LANDED IN THE WATER! SCREAM! NOW, I FUCKED IT UP! BUT, WHEN THE COP CHICK GOT IN THE POOL, I DIDN'T HAVE THE CAP ON . . . IT WAS, RESTING ON THE REHAB POOL EQUIPMENT, ABOUT HALF WAY UP THE POOL, SO SHE WOULD NOT HAVE SEEN IT, AND I LEFT IT THERE UNTIL SHE BUZZED OUT OF THE POOL FASTER THAN ME . . . TWO HALF LAPS IN THE POOL???? TOTALLY AFTER ME! THE ONLY THING I CAN THINK OF IS THAT, OR THE FACT, THAT SEEING THE REAL, JOANN, BLOGGER, ATTORNEY, PROFESSOR, EVEN JUMPING WHEN, THEY SAW ME, THEY WERE JUST STAR STRUCK! LOL. I AM MUCH PRETTIER, UP CLOSE, THAN, FAR AWAY! LOL. WHO WORRIES ABOUT, SOMEONE GOING TO THE GYM????? JEALOUS MEN, WITH UGLIER WOMEN, AND, ENVIOUS WOMEN, WHO, KNOW, THIN, I CAN KICK THEIR ASSES, AT EVERYTHING FROM THE LAW TO LOOKS! LOL. THE DAY BEFORE, YESTERDAY, SOME, TANNED, UP, FLAT TOP, COP, DUDE, CAME STRUTTING IN THE SWIMMING POOL AREA--FUCK, THIS DUDE IS GOING TO HIT ON ME, I CAN JUST FEEL IT! IT WAS THAT BLOG, ABOUT GOING TO THE CHAPEL AND GOING TO GET MARRIED, BLONDE, IN MY DREAM! SCREAM. HE WAITED PATIENTLY, FOR ME TO FINISH MY SWIM, AND WAITING LIKE SOME, SHARK, FOR ME IN THE HOT TUB AREA. "I HEATED UP THE WATER FOR YOU." IT IS HOT. "IT IS MUCH, HOTTER, GOING FROM THE POOL TO THE HOT TUB." YES. IT IS HOT. I SHUT MY EYES AND DID MY STRETCHES AND HEAD, EXERCISES, WITHOUT, LOOKING OVER! LOL. SHOWING SUPPORT BY BEING PATIENT! COME ON! I DON'T WANT TO BE ACCOSTED, EVERY TIME I GO TO THE FUCKING GYM! BETWEEN, THE COPS AND THE COPS, AND THE SISTERS, AND THEIR COPS, I AM GETTING PTSD, OR PISSED, BEING CONDITIONED TO WONDER, WHAT THE FUCK IS WAITING FOR ME, AT THE GYM?????? FUCK, I JUST WANT TO EXERCISE, I AM NOT THERE TO SCAM ON GUYS, NOR TO HAVE THEM SCAM ON ME! I AM STARTING TO WONDER IF I EVEN WANT TO LOSE WEIGHT? SHIT, THIS IS RIDICULOUS! COME ON, GIVE ME A BREAK, PLEASE! SEPTEMBER 14TH, THAT IS ALMOST TWO MONTHS AWAY! LET ME BE! I GET IT, THAT SOME OF YOU HAVE FIGURED OUT, WHO I AM, BUT, SERIOUSLY, I AM USED TO BEING HALF THIS SIZE! LOL. MY OLD FRIENDS,CAN'T IMAGINE ME FAT, AND MY NEW FRIENDS, CAN'T IMAGINE ME THIN! LOL. I WEIGHTED 140, WHEN THE GOVERNMENT, MOB, STARTED FUCKING WITH ME! I KNOW HOW GOOD I CAN LOOK, AND I AM NOT EVEN CLOSE! LOL. PERFECT STRANGER. GO HOME WITH A STRANGER. NO LONGER A STRANGER! ATHLETE. LEGEND. WARRIOR. ROCK STAR. SCHOLAR. MENTOR. JUST WAIT! WELL WORTH IT, RIGHT OFF THE BAT, I'LL BE GAME! BUT NOT BEFORE! THAT DREAM I HAD THE OTHER NIGHT ABOUT, GOING TO THE CHAPEL OF LOVE . . . THE THREE REINDEER, MIGHT REPRESENT CHRISTMAS! LOL. THAT IS PROBABLY MORE REALISTIC, SINCE, THE FUCKING COPS, AND THEIR ILK, HAVE BLOCKED ME ALMOST A WHOLE MONTH OF GOING TO THE GYM, SHIT? I AM A 6 DAYS A WEEK GAL! I AM AVERAGING, ONE DAY A WEEK IF I AM LUCKY! I LOVE TO EAT, AND I AM NOT GOING TO DIET, SO, LET ME GET TO THE GYM! IT IS INTERESTING, THAT THE SAME ALLEY I WAS IN YESTERDAY IS ROCKIN' WITH SOMETHING? DID SOMEONE SEE ALL THAT FROM THE SKY? THERE ARE CAMERAS, ALL OVER THAT PLACE! WE MIGHT JUST BE DEALING WITH MOB COPS??? BUT THE ONLY ONES I CAN BLAME ARE THE REAL ONES, BECAUSE, THEY ARE THE ONES, WHO HAVE TO DO SOMETHING! I AM DOING ALL I CAN! THEY PROTECT, SISTER, TRAITOR QUEEN, EVERY DAY! I AM JUST STAYING ALIVE AND TRYING TO LIVE MY VERY MODEST, LIFE, THAT I DIG JUST THE SAME! THE OTHER DAY, ON MSNBC, SOMEONE ASKED, "COULD THIS HAPPEN HERE?" REFERRING TO THE POISONING OF FORMER OR CURRENT RUSSIANS, IN BRITAIN, AND ELSEWHERE . . . IT COULD NOT ONLY HAPPEN, HERE BY THE RUSSIANS, IT IS HAPPENING HERE BY OUR COPS, UNDER THE DIRECTION OF TRUMP! I HAVE BEEN POISONED, AT LEAST, 5 TIMES AND 3 TIMES, HAVE BEEN, ALMOST KILLERS: (1) THE POISONING AT THE UTAH MEDICAL ASSOCIATION WHERE I WORKED, PUT ON MY STEERING WHEEL . . . THAT TOOK 8 YEARS OF MY LIFE, MUST HAVE BEEN A LOW DOSE, KILL ME SLOWLY, TO NOT BRING ATTENTION, OR MISCALCULATED, HOW CLOSE I LIVED TO MY WORK; (2) IN BUTTE, MONTANA, RIGHT AFTER I WROTE ABOUT KEYSTONE PIPELINE, AND THE CONGRESS VOTED, OR OBAMA VETOED, IT, BUT THE SAME TIME, WELL TWO WEEKS, LATER ON THE OIL, BUT, RIGHT AFTER, JAMES KENNEDY, ASKED ME TO MEET HIM IN DURANGO, COLORADO . . . HAD I NOT SLAMMED, DIET COKE AFTER DIET COKE, AND CANDY DOWN, ON A FULL STOMACH, BARFING UP, CRYSTALS, ALL OVER THE BUS TERMINAL FLOOR, I MIGHT HAVE DIED . . . I CANCELED MY TRIP, WENT TO KALISPELL, MONTANA, SUPER 8 MOTEL, SO SOMEONE COULD IDENTIFY ME, IF I DIED, WITH NO I.D., UNABLE TO GET DOWN THE HALL EVEN FOR A DIET COKE, THAT I AM ADDICTED TO, SO REALLY, REALLY WEAK AND SICK! (3) THEN, ONE TIME, IN MISSOULA, MONTANA, AT THE SLEEPY INN, I ORDERED, PIZZA, THAT TOOK A LONG TIME TO BE DELIVERED, AND WAS, DELIVERED, BY SOMEONE DRIVING A GRAY, CADILLAC????? BRAND NEW????? NORMAL DELIVERY BOYS AND GIRLS, DRIVE BEATER CARS! I HAVE HAD SEVERAL OTHER OCCASIONS, THAT, LEFT ME WEAK AND ALMOST UNABLE TO WALK, A BLOCK WITHOUT, HAVING TO STEADY MYSELF WITH, FENCES AND SITTING DOWN, ALL THE TIME . . . COULD HAVE BEEN FOOD POISONING, OR ACTUAL, ATTEMPT ON MY LIFE! THERE WERE ABOUT TWO OF THOSE MORE MINOR, POISONINGS! SOME MARVEL AS THE RUSSIAN SPY, WHO WAS POISONED, WHO SURVIVED, 2 OTHER POISONINGS, HE PALES COMPARED TO ME! NOBODY IN AMERICA IS SCREAMING ABOUT, ME BEING POISONED???????????????? WHY, BECAUSE, I AM BEING POISONED BY, OUR OWN, GOVERNMENT, AND I WAS NEVER A SPY, BUT FAR MORE DEADLY TO THE GOVERNMENT, WITH A WORLDWIDE BLOG, WITH OVER A BILLION READERS A DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOT ONLY COULD IT HAPPEN HERE, BUT IT HAS . . . POISON IS THE NEW, ASSASSINATION TOOL! IT IS FAR, NEATER, AND CLEANER, THAN SHOOTING SOMEONE DOWN, WITH BULLETS! EASIER TO DRAG A CLEAN BODY OFF, OR OUT OF A MOTEL ROOM, THAN, SENDING IN THE CLEAN-UP TEAMS, AFTER! NOW FOR SOME "F*CK LOVE!" YESTERDAY, WHILE READING THIS BOOK, I WAS UNDERLYING EVERY FUCKING LINE! OH, THIS IS, HIM, AND THAT IS WHOEVER, AND HE DID THAT, THIS FITS HIM . . . . ALL THE SUDDEN, I SNEEZED, AND THAT IS MY "GOD INTEL" FOR 'TISSUE" OR "TIS YOU!" I WAS, LIKE, THIS IS NOT ME! THEN, SOME CHICK SITTING BEHIND ME, SNEEZED, TOO! LIKE GOD, SENDING A CONFIRMATION, YES, IT IS YOU! I WAS READING ABOUT THE "CHARISMATIC" . . . . THE PERSON, WHERE THEY ARE LUCKY, EVERYTHING GOES THERE WAY, IT ALWAYS WORKS OUT, OR, THEY SEEM TO BE BORN WITH A GOLD STAR ON THEIR FOREHEAD! OR IN MY MOTHER'S WORDS, EVERYTHING JUST CAME TOO EASY FOR YOU, OR YOU ALWAYS LAND ON YOUR FEET! YOU MUST HAVE 9 LIVES, AND YOU HAVE ALREADY, HAD, 10 OF THEM! ATTORNEYS USED TO SAY, "NOBODY, ELSE BUT YOU, COULD GET AWAY WITH THAT IN COURT!" I USED TO WEAR MY BLING FLIP FLOPS, AND MY BLING, LEVI COWGIRL JACKET! LOL. FRANKLY, I WORE ANYTHING I FUCKING WANTED TO! LOL. I HAVE PRETTY MUCH, DONE ANYTHING I HAVE WANTED TO! MY BUCKET LIST IS AND HAS BEEN, FAR, LONG, FILLED AND OVERFLOWN! I LOVE MY LIFE! THERE ARE THE DOWN SIDES TO THAT LIFE, OF BEING A CHARISMATIC, AND, I AM LIVING PROOF OF THAT RIGHT NOW! PEOPLE JUST WANT ME DEAD! LOL. EVEN MY DEAR OLD MOM AND DAD! THEY ARE GOING TO MAKE GOOD, FOR THE REST OF THEIR AVERAGE KIDS, ALL 7 OF THEM! LOL. I AM BLESSED! BETTER THAN AVERAGE LOOKS, GOOD MARRIAGE, GREAT KIDS, TONS OF HONORS IN MY UNDERGRAD, JOBS, HANDED TO ME, GET INTO LAW SCHOOL, ON A DREAM AND A PRAYER, LAW SCHOOL, WAS EASY, STARTED TEACHING, AT A UNIVERSITY BEFORE I GRADUATED FROM LAW SCHOOL, WHICH HELPED ME LAND A JOB, WITH THE UTAH ATTORNEY GENERALS OFFICE, UTAH PROSECUTION COUNSEL, TRAINING COPS AND PROSECUTORS . . . WHAT ATTORNEY, DO YOU KNOW, THAT HAS, BOTH A LAW DEGREE AND HAS TAUGHT COLLEGE, BEFORE GRADUATING? LOL. NONE! I GOT THAT JOB, 1 IN 150 ATTORNEYS, WHO APPLIED. IN LAW SCHOOL, I GOT THE JOB, WITH AMERICANS UNITED FOR LIFE, THE LARGEST PUBLIC INTEREST AND EDUCATION LAW FIRM IN THE NATION! COMPETING WITH, HARVARD AND YALE, LAW STUDENTS, TOP TEN? I WENT TO THE MEETING, AT THE LAW SCHOOL, WHERE THE AUL WAS RECRUITING, NOT EVEN KNOWING THEY WERE RECRUITING, JUST BECAUSE, IT WAS RAINING CATS AND DOGS, OUTSIDE, AND, SOME ASIAN DUDE, TOLD ME, THERE WAS A MEETING ON ABORTION IN THE ROOM JUST DOWN THE HALL. OH, COOL, THESE ARE THE ATTORNEYS, WHO, ARE ALWAYS, ASKED TO BE EXPERT WITNESSES OR ARE IN ON UNITED STATES SUPREME COURT, SENATE CONFIRMATION HEARINGS, THEY HAD BEEN IN TIME OR NEWSWEEK MAGAZINE, THE WEEK, I WENT TO BE ON THE JENNY JONES, SHOW IN CHICAGO, ILLINOIS! FLUKE! THE GUY MEETING WITH, PROBABLY 100 LAW STUDENTS, WHO WHERE INTERESTED AND KNEW WHAT WAS GOING ON, WAS, SO IMPRESSED WITH MY QUESTIONS OR COMMENTS, THAT HE CALLED ME IN TO MEET WITH ME . . . THAT DAY, I HAPPENED TO HAVE A SWEATSHIRT ON, THE "TOP TEN REASONS I AM NOT ON LAW REVIEW OR TOP TEN!" JUST THE TYPE OF STUDENTS THEY WERE LOOKING FOR, TO INTERN WITH! LOL. I SAID, WELL, THEN, YOU WILL LOVE THIS T-SHIRT, HE LAUGHED, AND PROBABLY FOUND ME CHARMING AND REFRESHING, AND HIRED ME! I EVEN MADE THEM WAIT TO CONSIDER WHAT THIS EPIC SUMMER WOULD DO TO MY KIDS, WHILE I WAS GONE! I HAD A MAGICAL DREAM, AND MY KIDS, ENCOURAGED ME TO GO, SAID THEY WOULD BE FINE . . . AMAZING KIDS, AND THEY WERE YOUNG . . . FLEW THEM ALL TO CHICAGO FOR A WEEK, AND PROBABLY CHANGED THEIR LIVES . . . CHARISMATICS, LIVE CHARMED LIVES! I HAVE, EVEN NOW . . . HOMELESS, I LIVE THE FINE ART OF LIVING, SEATTLE, LIVING BEYOND AND ABOVE! I LOVE MY LIFE! HAPPY EVERY DAY! ONCE, GOD INFORMED ME, I WAS A CHARISMATIC, I COULD SEE, IT AND STARTED TO LOOK AT MY RELATIONSHIPS, AND TAKING SOME, RESPONSIBILITY FOR MY SHITTY, SITUATION! I LAUGHED! FOR ALL YOU CHARISMATICS AND THOSE WHO MIGHT GET HOOKED ON ONE . . . HOW DO YOU DEAL WITH THEM? IT'S NOT EASY, BUT THERE ARE WAYS!

HACKER, WANTS TO BE SEEN AS THE CHARISMATIC . . . SHE CAN'T BE ME, WITHOUT, STEALING THIS BLOG . . . RACHEL, 5'11", WAS LIVING IN, SHUMBERG, ILLINOIS, WHEN, I WAS WORKING FOR, AMERICANS UNITED FOR LIFE, IN CHICAGO!  SHE IS NOT A CHARISMATIC, ONLY, STOLE MY CHARISMATIC, LIFE AND CLAIMED, THAT SHE WAS ME . . . WOULDA, COULDA, DID!

SHE MAY HAVE BEEN A CHARMED, FLIGHT ATTENDANT FOR UNITED AIRLINES, A FAR CRY FROM, BEING A GIFTED, ATTORNEY, WITH CHARM, LUCK, AND FUN!  WHERE IS RACHEL KENNEDY RIGHT NOW!  YOU SEE, THE PROBLEM WITH BEING A CHARISMATIC, IS YOU ATTRACT OTHER CHARISMATICS, AND THAT IS TROUBLE!  AS YOU CAN SEE, THEY ARE NOT WILLING TO BE MARRIED, OR CONNECTED TO SOMEONE, LESS THEN, THEY ARE, SO THEY, WHEN, REJECTED BY ME, ANOTHER CHARISMATIC, THEY, MAKE UP ONE, TO FILL THE VOID, OF LOSING ME!  LOL.  IT ALL MAKES SENSE . . . THERE WAS A SONG, THAT CAME ON, WHEN, I WAS BACKING KENNEDY DOWN, OVER AND OVER AGAIN, AND IT SAID . . . I AM JUST HERE TO  HAVE FUN, AND I WILL NOT LAST FOR LONG! SOMETHING TO THAT AFFECT, ONE OF THE REASONS, I CHANGED MY MIND, AND AFTER TELLING KENNEDY THAT I WAS NOT COMING TO DURANGO, BUT, GOING TO BOZEMAN, FOR A JOB, WAS THAT FUCKING SONG, THAT ALMOST GOT ME KILLED, MAYBE BY HIM!????  The fat chick, rejection, is even, worse, for these charismatics, because, they, the guys, don't think you really, deserve them in the first place!  LOL.  But you know, your history, with men, a dime a dozen, one coming around the corner, every ten minutes!  LOL.  The other day, here, just outside, Seattle, I had just written about, these type guys, I am the Alpha chick, that throws them off their game, more rare, but, there were two trolley cars, going down the freeway, one after the other!  Some young Mr. Hot, at the gym, took this device, with two ropes, got on this knees, after looking at me, and started to do this, almost like bowing at the Queen thing in front of me!  LOL.  Some guys can see it, and some guys, can't!  LOL.  Now, why, would, men, like John F. Kennedy, Jr. or James, care if I get in shape?  Think on that one . . . they  have their lady, only guilty of having a good time?  So, why care about me getting in shape?  THE PERFECT STRANGER?  GO HOME WITH A STRANGER. NO LONGER A STRANGER?  SOME OTHER GUY GETS THE PRIZE?  ROCK STAR, FOR CHEAP KNOCK OFF BRAND?  LOL.  REVENGE IS SWEET . . . HE'S A CHARISMATIC TOO . . . MORE MEN, THAN, WOMEN!

CHARISMATICS--WATCH OUT!  THIS IS WHERE THE "TISSUE" OR 'TIS YOU, STARTED!  IT IS ME!  LOL.

This is starting on page, 5, of F*ck Love.  On second thought, I am not the paragon of virtue, I thought I was . . . see if you are, in this, or someone you have dated:

     CHARISMA SEEMS LIKE A DESIRABLE ASSET IN A LONG_TERM RELATIONSHIP because it doesn"t wear out or depend on looks or money; AFTER ALL, 'ITS NOBLER TO CHOOSE SOMEONE WITH A GOOD PERSONALITY OVER GOOD CHEEKBONES OR A GOOD INVESTMENT PORTFOLIO.  (Someone got sticky stuff on the keys of this computer, at Sophia's Place, so, bear with me!).  Unfortunately, having a goo personality and just being goog at attracting people are rarely the same thing.

     One problem with seeking a relationship with a charismatic person is that it's often hard to tell whether she like you as much as she seems to and, at the crush stage, whether your first overtures will be accepted or rejected.  The real issue, however, is not whether you may suffer a little humiliation when you discover that the intense interest, intimate conversation, and love-song-strength eye contact don't really reflect more than your crush's desire to captivate.  It's that , even if she is interested, she may never belong to you as much as she belongs to her public.  (You are my public!  LOL.  Girls, particularly, wanted to know, every thing about, James Kennedy!  Shades of Gray!  LOL.  He has a reason to be pissed, but not enough to poison me for god sake!  LOL.)

     So instead of trying to figure out whether this woman is actually interested in you or is his way with everyone, take a moment to determine whether she's actually worth pursuing in the first place, since a relationship with her is bound to make you feel neglected, insecure, and possibly angry and  jealous.  You may find that it would be better to keep her as a friend you can harmlessly flirt with while looking for someone else more meaningful, even if that someone is less magnetic.  LOL.  PERFECT. 

     Indeed, a charismatic partner may always make you fell unsure about how much she actually cares, so once you notice her using her charm on anyone or anything that's currently holding her attention, you start to wonder who's most-est special to her, or whether anyone is.  You're right, then, to put on the brakes until you can watch her behavior, gather information about her past relationships, and verify her ability to treat those who are truly close, such as you, with genuine specialness and in a way that lasts.

     If you're dating someone who depends on charisma to feel good as well as to make a living, as do many salespeople, you  have additional reason to worry.  (Dude's side) His manager, ego, and income tell him, that he's respected for his excellent ability to seduce new sales.  Unless he is grounded in better values, however, and can tolerate the inevitable "chopped liver" feeling that burdens even the best of partnerships, your relationship may not endure.  At the least, those eventual feelings of neglect may fuel a strong need to seek admiration and conquest (those usually come by not being sexually neglected by someone else.)

     Before taking a risk and putting yourself on the line to commit to that charismatic person, find out all you can about past and current relationships.  Instead, of just paying attention to his enthusiasm and generosity when love is new, ask yourself whether his attachment last after things get unpleasant and annoying, i.e., after an episode of food poisoning or Thanksgiving dinner with your alcoholic grandfather.  Get to know his values and observe how much he depends on his charisma to feel good.

     Charisma can also disguise that usual high-risk personality traits that make lasting relationships difficult.  If someone with a great relaxed public persona turns out to have a bad temper and little trust in private, don't assume that your love and attention will restore the personal warmth that always seemed to dominate her personality before you got close.

     While bursts of anger and mistrust may be rooted in misunderstanding or temporary depression and may resolve with patience and understanding, don't let wishful thinking cloud your judgment as you get to know someone and learn about what happened to their prior relationships.  Charismatic people often have more control over how they present themselves; prepare to take more time, effort, and detective work to know who they really are by observing their deeds, rather than responding to their charm.

Quiz: Charm Questions--Caught by Charisma . . . I am not going to type these, but fun!

WHERE'S YOUR PARTNER ON THE CHARISMA SCALE?

We wouldn't be with our partners if we didn't find something attractive in their personalities, but while some spouses' appeal is due to a subtle, earnest nature, others are so enchanting that their magnetism isn't just undeniable, it's dangerous.  Your average spouse can find a way to talk you into doing something you dislike by working out a compromise, but a not charming partner can be so genuinely obnoxious that he works your last nerve, and a too-smooth spouse is actually working you all  the time like a mark.  The book goes on to give you some tips on how to deal with this person . . . there are three categories: (1) Charisma impaired; (2) Charisma Capable; (3) Charisma Corrupted: If attempts to flirt you into dish-doing have failed, he plans more dinners with old frat buddies, guys from the club, and women he insists are clients, so you wind up begging to cook for him and do dishes since you feel as if he were doing you a favor just by eating with you at home!  Two charismas, disaster!

HAVING CHARISMA

To the uncharismatic--those who were never brushed with the pixie dust of charm and have to rely on luck, extra hard work, and the ability to beat back nagging self-doubt to achieve any kind of success--having charisma can seem like the ultimate advantage.  A charismatic person appears to have access to a better, luckier kind of luck than the rest of us.  Unfortunately, as we've seen with too many lottery winners, freak survivors of catastrophes, and celebrity spawn, too much luck can be a bad thing and too much of this kind of luck can also ruin your life if you don't understand its costs and risks and manage them carefully.

        Here are three examples:  I am just going to give you one, the one that fits me . . . sorry can't type the whole book!  LOL.

• the first, some guy, who, has women, love him, and he feels pressured to get involved, sexually, but, then, is not committed and ends up hurting the gals.  His buddies, are all jealous, but he hates it!
• can't remember the second one, don't want to re-read it . . .
• I love dating and am blessed with the mysterious ability to attract whatever guys i want.  But then, after a couple months, what starts out as genuine interest always seems to fade on my side, but not on theirs.  I don't know what's wrong with me.  I love the initial attraction, but it's not like I'm desperate for it and willing to get it from anyone; I'm pretty choosy in terms of only getting into relationships with guys I really like who meet my high standards.  My goal is to understand why I get bored with really great guys.

     Having charisma is like belonging to an elite club with many privileges and benefits; it's the Amex Black Card of personality traits, giving one boundless access to everything from business contacts to dates to private jets (why not?).  Whether it's your charm or your credit that's unlimited, however, there's always a danger of forgetting what all that privilege and access will end up costing you in the end. 

     Charisma often misleads people into thinking that they have more control over relationships than they do, distracts them from examining character factors that determine whether a relationships is safe or dangerous, and burdens them with an unreasonable sense of responsibility for the feelings of others.  so if you don't keep those risks in mind, you may end up going into emotional debt.

     When charisma makes you lucky at romance, and you're lucky enough to have a good character to recognize and respect your gift, it's hard not to fell guilty.  After all, you're receiving attention that others must work much harder to achieve and which you don't deserve for any reason other than that you're charmed and charming.  Unless you're in love with your charisma, you may well feel as obligation to offer something in return for this attention, such as not disappointing all those people who are unlucky enough to be drawn to your gift/curse.

     Unfortunately, making yourself available to admirers can't create a real, lasting relationship and will make their disappointment worse when you stop answering their calls or acting like a real friend.  Feeling guilty can cause harm and make you feel guiltier. (God intel, couldn't change font!).

LUNCH IS ON!  ENOUGH FOR TODAY!  THIS RAISES A SCARY, ISSUE WITH THE DOUBLES . . . THEY WERE NOT THE CHARISMATICS, TO START WITH . . . WHAT HAPPENS WHEN, I QUIT WRITING THE BLOG AND FANS, STILL WANT IT?  THEY KNOW, SISTERS, OR OTHERS AS ME, WHAT DO THEY DO?

LATELY, SEEING THAT PEOPLE ARE RECOGNIZING ME, I HAVE STARTED TO WORRY ABOUT, WHO IS HEARING WHAT, POLITICALLY . . . THE OTHER DAY AT, BELLEVUE LIBRARY, I GOT ON THE ELEVATOR WITH SOMEONE, AND THE DUDE, EVERYONE KNOWS YOU, BUT YOU DON'T KNOW ANYONE, SAID, THAT BACKPACK FITS YOU . . . IT IS WHAT I WOULD HAVE EXPECTED?  WHAT?  THAT IS THE TROUBLE WITH MY SITUATION WITH COPS, THEY KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT ME AND I KNOW, NOTHING ABOUT THEM!  SURVEILLANCE 24/7 . . . UNIQUE OBSESSIONS, CAN KILL YOU!

GIFT AND CURSE!

DON'T I KNOW IT, BUT YOU HAVE BEEN SO LUCKY ALL YOUR LIFE, THAT, EVEN, LIFE AND DEATH SITUATIONS, SEEM TO BLOW PASSED YOU . . . LIKE YESTERDAY, THROUGH THE JAWS OF DEATH, WORTH BILLIONS, OUT WALKING AROUND, LIKE, NOBODY, WANTS, WHAT YOU HAVE!

THE OTHER DAY, I WOKE UP EARLY, AND TRIED TO GET PASSED A LADDER AND WAS, AT THE SAME TIME, THINKING ABOUT MY DREAM OF MY TWO GUNS, GOLD, SPARKLY, SHINY AND SMART, CHARISMAS . . . THEN, I THOUGHT, OF, WHAT, SOMEONE WOULD WANT . . . AS I PASSED MY NEIGHBOR'S BED, IN THE DARK, I HIT HER HAND, STRETCHED OUT IN THE SMALL WALKWAY!

MY HANDS SHOULD PROBABLY BE INSURED FOR A BILLION DOLLARS IF I WERE GETTING ANY OF IT!

THERE IS NOT A COUNTRY IN THE WORLD, WHAT WOULD NOT LOVE TO GET THEIR HANDS ON THIS BLOG, WITH WORLDWIDE, AUDIENCE, TO PROMOTE THEIR AGENDA AND THEIR, POLITICS!

I CAN'T BELIEVE, I AM NOT BEING PROTECTED!

SCARY.  A CHARISMATIC WRITER!

I REFUSE TO TURN IT OVER TO ANYONE, BUT, THAT DOESN'T MEAN THEY CAN'T TAKE IT FROM ME . . . LIKE THEY HAVE EVERYTHING ELSE!

I'M PRETTY PURE IN WHAT I BELIEVE, SAFE, AND WILL NOT LEAD ANYONE ASTRAY, IF I CAN HELP IT, BUT, THERE ARE OTHERS WHO HAVE EVIL, DANGEROUS MOTIVES, AND THOSE WE NEED FEAR!

A VERY SCARY TOOL!

I AM ONE IN A BILLION, WALKING AROUND WITH SHEAR POWER IN THESE HANDS!

WHERE DO I GO FROM HERE?