FABULASH! FLAMEBLOCK. PURECLEAN. BIG SWINGING DICKS. WHEN A WOLF IS HUNGRY. #DON'T CRACK UNDER PRESSURE! OBSESSIONS FROM PEOPLE WE'RE OBSESSED WITH. SLAM DUNK. THROWBACK. "MY DESK" BY DANIELLE STEEL. KEY TO THE CURE. GANGPLANKED! PENALTY BOX. ERICK BOLLING WEINERING. GORILLA MIND-SET. JAMES WOLCOTT. BIGGEST STAR & GNARLIEST SAMURAI. THE MCLAUGHLIN GROUP. WE'RE ALL IN IT TOGETHER, AGAIN. ROCKY MOUNTAIN COLD REFRESHMENT. YOU SINCE '92! CHRIS ROCK. BENJAMIN MOORE. BETTER MATTERS! INGREDIENTS FOR HEALTHY LIVING. HONEY BEE? DREAM MIGHT CHANGE YOUR MIND! TYPHOON SALLY! THE BIG BANG THEORY. CENDROWSKI. SEND DROWN, SKI! BRETT & KAY, BONNIE & CLYDE, FROM MY GOD INTEL, SENT THE DUDES, TWO, TO DROWN ME IN THE L.A. FITNESS POOL, SATURDAY! THAT NAME, KEPT COMING UP ON THE BEGINNING CREDITS OF "THE BIG BANG THEORY" AND IT IS INTERESTING, THAT, BRETT IS THE ONE WHO INTRODUCED ME TO THAT THEORY, AS WELL AS THE "STRING THEORY!" LAST NIGHT AT THE HAMMOND HOUSE, WE PROBABLY WATCHED, ABOUT 5 EPISODES! ALL OF THEM HAD THAT, "CENDROWSKI!" ANOTHER SYMBOLIC NAME THAT CAME UP, IN THE BEGINNING CREDITS, WRITERS, PRODUCERS, WHATEVER, WAS, "MELISSA RAUCH" . . . MELISSA IS THE CHICK AT HAMMOND HOUSE, THAT TOLD ME ABOUT THE NEW APARTMENTS OUT IN KIRKLAND, AND THAT I HAD ONE, IN A SENIOR LIVING NEWLY BUILT, SOON TO FILL, APARTMENT COMPLEX IN KIRKLAND. GREAT. I FILLED OUT THE PAPERWORK, AND I AM JUST WAITING TO HEAR SOMETHING. HOWEVER, THAT, NAME, LIKE, FILLS MY SUSPICIONS THAT, THE SAME FUCKERS, WHO FUCK WITH ALL THE TIME, HAVE INTERFERRED. ORIGINALLY, IT WAS IF, ALL I HAD TO DO WAS FILL IN THE PAPERWORK, EASY ONE PAGE SHEET, JUST THE WAY I LIKE THINGS, AND I WOULD BE IN, END OF AUGUST OR FIRST OF SEPTEMBER. WHEN, THAT TIME ROLLED AROUND, I ASKED MELISSA, WHAT WAS GOING ON? I TOOK A QUICK TRIP TO MISSOULA, TO MAKE SURE, THAT I WAS MAKING THE RIGHT MOVE? I DECIDED THAT I WAS, AND WAS EXCITED TO GET SETTLED AFTER, YEARS OF HOMELESSNESS! SHE SAID, I HAVE GOOD AND BAD NEWS FOR YOU . . . THE GOOD NEWS IS THAT THEY ARE REVIEWING ALL THE APPLICATIONS, BUT, IT IS GOING TO TAKE THEM UNTIL DECEMBER! WHAT? OKAY, GOOD, SO, I WILL GO HOME FOR THANKSGIVING, THEN, AND BE BACK IN TIME TO MOVE IN. NO, DON'T GO TO THANKSGIVING, BECAUSE, THEY MAY CALL YOU, IN SEPTEMBER? WHAT THE FUCK? OKAY. BUT, THAT NAME, "MELISSA RAUCH" LEADS ME TO BELIEVE, THAT, AND CLOSELY, SPELLED, THE EVIL TWIN(S) WHO LIVE ON A RANCH OR IN THIS CASE, RA"U"CH . . . "U" IS MOVING IN, USING YOUR NAME AND APPLICATION, SO IT LOOKS, LIKE SHE IS THE ORIGINAL APPLICANT, AND, THEN, WHEN, THEY HAVE BEEN SEEN, OR HAVE BECOME ASSOCIATED WITH THE PLACE, THEN, YOU CAN MOVE IN! GAMES, BELLS & WHISTLES ALL THE TIME, RATHER THAN, JUST ALLOWING ME TO BE ME, THEY FUCK AND FUCK AND FUCK WITH ME, BECAUSE, IT IS WORTH BILLIONS OF DOLLARS, PRIDE, I AM CIA PRIDE, BUT WITH 6 OTHER FACES, MORMON PRIDE, BUT WITH OTHER FACES, REPUBLICAN PRIDE, BUT WITH OTHER FACES, AND BRAGGING RIGHTS GOING TO EVERYONE, FOR ALL I HAVE DONE, BUT ME! SHIT, ONE MORE IN A STRING, OF THINGS, THAT SHOWS, UNLAWFUL, INTERFERENCE IN "MY" LIFE! THIS IS WHY, I AM HOMELESS, IT IS NOT FOR LACK OF TRYING . . . I CALL ON A ROOM OR STUDIO, AND ME AND THE PERSON WILL IT IT OFF, THEN, THERE IS THIS PHONE TAG THING, AND THEN, I WILL ASK THEM FOR THE ADDRESS AGAIN, LOST ON SOME SLIP OF PAPER, AND LOW AND BEHOLD, IT IS NOT THE ORIGINAL ADDRESS, BUT GOING FROM HIGGINS, TO STRAND AND A BASEMENT ROOM, WITH NO OUTLET, HOPE THAT IS OKAY? NO! OR I HAVE AN APARTMENT IN WHITEFISH, BUT, THE LADY DOESN'T CALL ME BACK,. UNTIL I HIT, MISSOULA, MAKING IT HARD AND EXPENSIVE ON THIS FIXED INCOME, THEY HAVE MY JO S. BANK, NOT ME, TO GO BACK UP, MEET AND GET A HOTEL, IN THE TOURIST SEASON, WITH ROOMS, RUNNING FROM $100 PER NIGHT TO $250 . . . HOW MANY, TIMES CAN I WAIT TO CALL, OR MEET, WHEN, I ONLY HAVE $1200, WHICH IS ABOUT, WHAT 6 NIGHTS? I HAVE TO HAVE TRAVEL AND FOOD, NOT TO MENTION, OTHER LIVING EXPENSES FOR A MONTH! FUCK, THEY HAVE MY MONEY, NOT ME . . . THEN, THEY CLOSE MY WALMART CARD, OR FUCK, MY SOUND COMMUNITY BANK CARD, LIKE THEY DID THIS MORNING, CAN'T GET A BALANCE . . . ACCOUNT CLOSED! WHOOOOPS, PLANNED ON KILLING ME THIS WEEKEND HUH? RIGHT! MY DREAM LAST NIGHT, SERIOUSLY, GIVES THE BIG PICTURE OF WHAT, THEY HAVE DONE TO MY LIFE, MY FAMILY, MY HOMES, MY LAW PRACTICE, MY WATER COMPACT, MY BLOG, AND HOPE OF LIVING NORMALLY! WE ARE TALKING HARVEY & IRMA DESTRUCTION! DREAM LAY OUT: (1) IN THE DREAM, I AM LIVING IN THE SHITTY PLACE, I CAN AFFORD, NOW! FAR CRY FROM MY TWO HOMES IN UTAH! (2) I WAS LAYING ON A BED, NOT TOO UNLIKE THE BUNK, THAT I STAY AT, OR SLEEP IN, AT THE HAMMOND HOUSE; (3) IN THE NIGHT, WITH NO ONE UNDER MY BED, THERE WAS LIKE A FOOT, OR A HAND, THAT KEPT, PUSHING UP THROUGH THE MATTRESS, TO KICK ME, OR BUG ME, OR JUST BE AN ANNOYANCE, ALL TOGETHER! (4) I TRIED TO GRAB THE FOOT OR HAND, WITH MY HANDS, BUT, I JUST COULDN'T GET IT THROUGH THE MATTRESS, BUT, THEY KEPT BUGGING ME, RELENTLESSLY; (5) AS I WOULD GO ABOUT MY DAILY TASKS, I WOULD COME BACK, TO FIND THAT MY BED, THAT WAS MADE, AS I ALWAYS DO, WAS MESSED, BLANKETS AND SHEETS, ALL OVER THE PLACE; (6) THEN, THIS MESS STARTED GONIG FROM BEING CONTAINED TO THE BED, TO THE ROOM, THEN, TO THE HOUSE, AND EVENTUALLY, SOMEONE, A CHICK, STARTED TO SHOW UP, AS THE SOURCE OF THE HARASSMENT; (7) SHE WAS PURPOSEFULLY, PUSHING OVER, LAMPS, DRESSERS, AND REAPING GREAT DESTRUCTION, IN MY SHANTY, APARTMENT, WITH UGLY CARPET! (8) FINALLY, I GOT PISSED, AND SICK AND TIRED OF THE MESS, AND HER ANTICS, AND STARTED TO FIGHT HER BACK, IN ONE EPISODE, I GRABBED HER HAIR, SHAKING IT AND TRYING TO SLAM HER HEAD INTO THE WALL, BUT, WITH EACH ATTEMPT, THERE WAS, LIKE SOME KIND OF FORCE, THAT BLOCKED ME FROM MAKING CONTACT WITH THE WALL! (10) THE BATTLE ENSUED, AND SOON THE DESTRUCTION, THAT SHE WAS CAUSING, MADE MY HOUSE, OR APARTMENT IN A HOUSE, LOOK, LIKE A LANDFILL, OR SOMETHING RESEMBLING THE DAMAGE DONE BY A HURRICANE FORCE, OR TO PLAY ON THE WORDS, HERRICANE FORCE, HER CAIN? (11) PRETTY SOON, ALL WAS, A WASTELAND, LOOKING MORE AND MORE LIKE A WAR ZONE, BUT, I WAS NOT GIVING UP, AND NEITHER WAS SHE! (12) FINALLY, THERE WAS THIS LARGE BOOK, THAT, SHE SLAMMED DOWN ON THE SPLINTERED WOOD, AND TRASH, DEBREE, AND, THE TITLE WAS "MY BOOK." (13) I JUST STOOD THERE, DUMBFOUNDED, BY THE DISASTER, THAT SHE HAD CREATED, THE MESS, THE DEVASTATION, THE REALLY, CARNAGE! (14) I JUST STOOD THERE AND DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO, SO I THOUGHT, I WILL GO SEE MY PARENTS, FOR, NO WHERE ELSE TO TURN. NOW I HAVE NOT SEEN MY PARENTS, REALLY, SINCE ABOUT THE TIME, THAT I STARTED THIS BLOG, MAYBE ONCE. BUT, THE CONDITIONS OF THEIR HOME WAS TERRIBLE, SEEMED POOR, OLD, WITH THAT TURQUOISE COLORED PAINT FROM YESTERDAY? WE WERE SITTING AT A REDWOOD, PICNIC TABLE, IN THIS GROSS KITCHEN, BUT THE THING, THAT STRUCK ME MOST, WAS WHO WAS THERE, AND THE DIFFERENCE IN THEIR APPEARANCES: (A) MY FATHER WAS THERE, LOOKING THE SAME, A BASTARD AT BEST AND THAT IS JUST THE FACTS--HE HAS HIS FAVORITES, AND WOULD DO ANYTHING TO PROTECT, THOSE DAUGHTERS, AGAINST THIS MORE HIGHLY TRAINED, SKILLED, TALENTED, AND EDUCATED! (B) MY MOTHER, AND HER APPEARANCE, WAS SHOCKING TO ME, AS WAS HER, MOTHER, WHO IS DEAD, BUT WAS AT THIS TABLE . . . BOTH WOMEN, HAD, LIKE, LONG, GRAY, WHISPY WIGS ON, AND HORRIBLE MAKE-UP, CRAZYHOUSE, RED LIPS, EYE-BROWS, AND WERE DRESSED, IN, LIKE FLORAL DRESSES? THE DEAD MOTHER OF NORMAN BATES, FROM THE MOVIE "PSYCO" CAME TO MIND! MY MOTHER, LATER IN LIFE, THANKED, HER MOTHER, FOR BEING SO TOUGH ON HER, BECAUSE, IT HELPED HER, SURVIVE, ALL THE SHIT, FINANCIALLY, MY FATHER PUT HER, AND HER 8 CHILDREN THROUGH. I AM GUESSING THAT THESE GET-UPS AND WIGS, TRYING TO MAKE THESE WOMEN, LOOK, BETTER, BUT MAKING THEM LOOK, LIKE SOME SCARY, GRANNY, OUT OF A HAUNTED HOUSE, SET UP FOR HALLOWEEN! (C) AND MY AUNT JOYCE, WAS THERE, INTERESTINGLY, ENOUGH, AND SHE LOOKED, NORMAL, ALWAYS, WORE HER HAIR GRAY, AND UP IN A FRENCH TWIST . . . BUT, SHE LOOKED LIKE SHE DID ALL MY LIFE, BUT THE ONE THING ABOUT, JOYCE, A VICTIM OF A SHITTY, MARRIAGE TO AN ALCOHOLIC, AND DIVORCED, WHEN, THIS ABUSIVE MAN, PUSHED, PREGNANT JOYCE DOWN THE BASEMENT STAIRS, ALMOST 9 MONTHS ALONG WITH, HER 6TH CHILD! BUT, JOYCE WAS A FIGHTER, A FUN, LOVING PERSON, AND NEVER ONCE IN MY ENTIRE LIFE, DID I SEE HER DEPRESSED, OR BLAME ANYONE, NOT MOODY, ANGRY, OR EVEN EVER PLAYING THE VICTIM! SHE WAS A SQUARE DANCER, LOVED LIFE, AND HAD MEN, ALL OVER HER, FUN LOVING WAYS, BUT SHE NEVER, AS I RECALL, MARRIED AGAIN, BUT SHE EVEN AT 90 YEARS OLD, WORKED AT A BAKERY, AND TOOK CARE OF GENERATIONS, WITH MANY OF HER KIDS, HAVING REPRECUSIONS FROM, THEIR ROUGH, YOUNGER YEARS, BUT ALL BASICALLY, HAPPY, BUT FOR JIMMY, WHEN, HIS BEAUTIFUL WIFE, GOT DIVORCED AND REMARRIED, SUICIDE. I FOUND IT CURIOUS, THAT, THIS COMBINATION OF PEOPLE, WERE AT THE TABLE, WITH ME, AND I WOULD SAY, THAT, JOYCE WAS SYMBOLIC, OF SOME OF THE WAY, MY MOTHER, FELT TOWARD ME. JOYCE WAS THE POPULAR ONE IN HIGH SCHOOL, SHE WAS LIKED BY EVERYONE, AND SHE EXCELLED, IN SCHOOL. HER HUSBAND, WAS A CATCH, FROM A FAIRLY WEALTHY FAMILY, AS WAS SHE, BUT, ALCOHOL, TOOK CARE OF THAT DREAM MARRIAGE! BUT, AS I HAVE SAID, JEALOUSY, RUNS, RAMPANT, AND WITH SISTERS, THERE SEEMS TO BE A LIFETIME OF IT, REGARDLESS OF, THE TOUGH TIMES THE HAPPY, ONE GOES THROUGH, THE OTHER ALWAYS, WANTS THEIR DEMISE! JOYCE DARED DIVORCE, SHE DARED, LOVE HER KIDS, REGARDLESS OF THEIR ACTIVITY IN THE MORMON CHURCH, SHE, SEEMED TO THRIVE, REGARDLESS OF THE CHALLENGES SHE HAD, AND SHE, HERSELF, REMAINED, STEADFAST AND DEDICATED TO HER BELIEFS, AND SHE EVEN SERVED A MISSION FOR THE MORMON CHURCH. SHE WAS HAPPY IN THE DREAM. MY MOTHER, ON THE OTHER HAND, LIKE I SAID, LOOKED STRAIGHT OUT OF SOME VERY SCARY HALLOWEEN MOVIE, AS DID MY VERY DEAD, LONG DEAD, MOTHER. I BELIEVE, THAT BOTH WOMEN, WERE MEAN WOMEN, ANGRY WOMEN, JEALOUS WOMEN, AND DID WHAT THEY CONSIDERED THEIR DUTY, TO FAMILY, CHURCH, HOME, AND WORK, BUT THEY WERE PISSED ABOUT IT, BUT TRIED TO PRESENT THEMSELVES AND NOT PISSED. MY MOTHER IS THE ONE WHO TOLD ME THAT MY FATHER BEAT ME, AND THIS WAS RIGHT ABOUT THE TIME, I WAS PRACTICING LAW, AND WORKING IN DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, WITH CHILD ABUSE AND ELDER ABUSE. . . WHY IS SHE TELLING ME THIS NOW? MY DAUGHTERS, PAID FOR A SPA TREATMENT AND MESSAGE, THE LADY, DID SOME TYPE OF REGRESSION, THERAPY, ALONG WITH THE NORMAL, TREATMENT, BUT SHE TOOK ME BACK TO MY FIRST MEMORY, AND THAT WAS OF BEING ON MY FATHER'S KNEES, BEING BEATEN. SHE TOLD ME TO TURN AROUND IN MY MIND'S EYE AND LOOK INTO HIS FACE, TO SEE, WHAT HE WAS FEELING. INTERESTINGLY ENOUGH, THERE WAS LOVE, AND HE SEEMED, NOT TO WANT TO HIT ME, BUT MY MOTHER WAS STANDING BY THE DOOR, MAKING SURE, HE GOT THE MESSEGE HOME TO ME, WITH HIM, HITTING ME, TRYING TO MAKE ME CRY, WHICH, I NEVER DID . . . I ALWAYS THOUGHT, THAT, MY MOTHER, WHO WAS HOME WITH US, AND CALLED FOR THE DISCIPLINE, FROM DAD, WANTED ME TO CRY, BUT I ALWAYS THOUGHT, THAT THROUGHOUT MY LIFE, ESPECIALLY, NOW, THAT, HE TOO, DOESN'T FEEL SATISFIED, TO THIS DAY, USING BIGGER, MEANER, METHODS, GOVERNMENT, MORMON SHIT, SPY SHIT, AND USING ALL MY SISTERS, TO STILL TRY TO BEAT ME AND MAKE ME CRY. THIS SEEMED TO BE A TEAM EFFORT OF MY PARENTS, AND STILL IS. WHAT COULD I POSSIBLY HAVE DONE, SO BAD, TO HAVE MERITED, THIS BEATING, THAT, MY GRANDPARENTS, WANTED, MY FATHER, CHARGED AND PUT IN PRISON FOR, LEAVING ME BLACK & BLUE, FROM MY SHOULDERS TO MY KNEES, USING AN OLD RUBBER DOLL, THAT WAS JUST SHORT OF BEING AS HARD AS CEMENT, TO DO THE DAMAGE. MY MOTHER, USED TO THINK, THAT I WOULD BE TRANSLATED, FOR BEING SO GOOD, FOR HELPING WITH YOUNGER BROTHERS AND SISTERS, FOR CLEANING AND BEING HER LITTLE HELPER, WORKING SO HARD, AS TO STAND HOURS, IRONING CLOTHES IN THE BASEMENT, OR CLEANING HER CLOSET, SO WHAT, ON EARTH COULD, I HAVE DONE, LITTLE CINDERELLA? BY THE TIME MY FATHER GOT HOME, I AM SURE, I AND ALL MY SIBLINGS, IF THEY WERE PUNISHED WOULD NOT EVEN REMEMBER, WHAT, THEY DID WRONG, HOURS, LATER? MY GRANDMOTHER ON THE OTHER SIDE, WROTE POEMS ABOUT ALL HER GRANDCHILDREN, MINE WAS CALLED, "JOANN, ALMOST PERFECT" OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT AND SHE REFERRED TO ALL THE HELP, I DID IN THE FAMILY. SO WHY THE BEATING? SO WHY NOW, ALL THE BEATING? THE STAR CHILD, THE GOLDEN CHILD, THE PRODUCER, THE CHAMPION OF CAUSES, THE LAWYER, THE PROFESSOR, THE WRITER, THE FIGHER FOR PEOPLE'S RIGHTS, THE MOTHER, THE GRANDMOTHER . . . WHAT WAS THE BEATING FOR, STILL GOING ON? I DON'T GET IT, OTHER THAN, JUST PLAIN OLD, JEALOUSY, ENVY, GREED, SO TOTALLY, OBJECTIFYING ME, AS TO NOT CARE IF I AM ALIVE OR DEAD, SEEING ME AS NOTHING MORE THAN, A PIN NUMBER FOR, THE FAMILY, THE CHURCH, THE FBI AND CIA, NSA, FOR POLITICAL PURPOSES, SUBSTITUTIING, KAY BABY FOR ME? NOT LIKING BRETT, UNTIL, I LEFT HIM, NOT ZEKE, OR JERRY TOO, UNTIL I LEFT THEM, AND THEN, THEY WERE THE GREATEST MEN IN THE WORLD, SABOTAGE? IT WAS A VERY INTERESTING DREAM. I LAID IN BED, FROM ABOUT, 2:30 AM, UNTIL, MORNING, OR WHEN, I GOT UP AT 5:00 AM, AND OUT THE DOOR, JUST WONDERING WHAT THE FUCK, BUT, THE CHICK AT THE FIRST, WAS THE SIZE OF KAY BURNINGHAM, BROWN, BUTTARS, STUART, THROUGH PROXY, MARRIED TO BRETT AS IF SHE IS ME, OR ALL THINK SHE IS ME. THE FOOT AND HAND FROM UNDER THE BED, WAS, LIKE A SPOOK OR A GHOST, THE NAME FOR SPIES, POKING AND BUGGING ME. THERE IS SOMETHING CALLED, GANG STALKING, IN WHICH, THERE IS A WHISTLE BLOWER, OR SOMEONE, LIKE ME, WHO POINTS OUT THE ERRORS, CORRUPTION, OR VIOLATONS OF A GROUP OF PEOPLE, AND THAT PERSON, THEN, BECOMES THE TARGET, OF A WHOLE GROUP OF PEOPLE, LIKE IN MY SITUATION, COPS, PROSECUTORS, AND JUDGES, ELECTED OFFICIALS, GOING ALL THE WAY UP TO THE FEDERAL LEVEL, THROUGH, BEING GENERAL COUNSEL OF THE UTAH MEDICAL ASSOCIATION, AND STOPPING FEDERAL FRAUD UNITS, THAT LED TO MY POISONING, FOR EXPOSING CONSTITUTIONAL VIOLATIONS OF THE FRAUD UNIT INVESTIGATORS, LATER, DID THE SAME FOR, THE DIVISION OF SECURITIES, AND ON TO, BIGGER AND BETTER THINGS, BUT, THAT, PUT ME ON THE RADAR, AS A TOTAL TARGET, FOR THIS FRATERNAL ORDER OF THE POLICE AND ALL THE UNIFIED POLICE FORCE, ALSO DRIVEN BY NATURE, DISCOVERING A WHOLE FAMILY OF, GIRLS, GIRLS, GIRLS, AND A FATHER, A FORMER, SPY! GREAT, THE PERFECT, STORM, FOR TAKING OUT, SOMEONE THEY WERE ALL JEALOUS OF ANYWAY! BIG SWINGING DICKS! PRETTY MUCH SAYS IT ALL! I THINK YOU HAD VERY IMMATURE, MEN, THREATENED BY ME, AND SO, TO PUT, LESS THREATENING WOMEN, IN MY PLACE, TO, TOTALLY, ERASE ME, TO EVISERATE ME FROM THE PLANET, TO STEAL EVERYTHING FROM MY WORK AND INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY, LICENSE, CASES, HOT JOBS, AND HOTTER RESUME, WITH AWARDS AND MANUALS, SCHOLARSHIPS, AND NATIONAL HONORS, PLUS, A POLITICALLY, ROCKIN' FAMILY, OF HOT DAUGHTERS, AND ROCKER, HIP HOP SONS, ALL SMART AS WHIPS, THEMSELVES, WAS, JUST TOO TEMPTING, AND YOU CAN SEE THE PROGRESSION IN THE DREAM, THROUGH, KAY . . . SHE HAD SHORT HAIR, IN THE DREAM, AND POSSIBLY, THEY, THE BOYZ CLUB, MADE HER CUT HER HAIR, BECAUSE, HOW COULD SHE BE THE WRITER, AND NOT HAVE A BUTCHER, CUT HER HAIR TOO! DID KAY, SNAP, LIKE IN THE I.D. NETWORK, SERIES CALLED BY THAT NAME, "SNAPPED?" YOU SEE, KAY WAS THE FEMALE M.V.P. TO REPLACE ME, THE OTHERS DIDN'T HAVE THE SKILLS, THE DRIVE, THE BACKGROUND IN THE LAW, THE BRAINS, THE TALENT, AND THE TRAINING, NOR HAD THEY BEEN, BEST FRIENDS, SINCE, 7TH GRADE, SEEING THAT, I WAS, BASICALLY, AUSTRICIZED, BY MY FAMILY, FROM WAY BACK, TURNING TO THE COMMUNITY, MUCH IN THE SAME WAY, I TURNED FROM UTAH, TO MONTANA, FOR SURVIVAL, AFTER BEING ALMOST MURDERED, BUT FOR THE GRACE OF GOD, AND HAD MY WHOLE LIFE, UPENDED, BOTH VIOLENTLY, AND TRAGICALLY, AS ONE OF THE TOP LAYWERS IN THE COUNTRY AT THE TIME! THIS MORNING AS I WAS, FIGURING OUT WHAT THE DRAMATICLY, BOTHERSOME DREAM MEANT, THAT THOUGHT CAME TO MY MIND, THAT, THERE IS A PATTERN HERE, OF EXTREME VIOLENCE AGAINST ME: (1) WHEN MY FATHER BEAT ME; (2) I REMEMBER, FEELING LEFT OUT, AND ABOUT IN 5TH GRADE, LEAVINGT THE NEST FOR THE MOST PART, DOING CHURCH, SCHOOL, AND COMMUNITY WORK; (3) WHEN, I GOT MARRIED, I HAD TO FACE THE FAMILY, AGAIN! I WAS SHOCKED AT THE MATERIALISM, THE SHALLOWNESS, PETTINESS AND IMAGE CONSCIOUS, ALMOST ELITISM. I AGAIN, PULLED MY KIDS, OUT OF THAT, FAMILY, OTHER THAN, LARGE FAMILY GATHERINGS SO THEY HAD, COUSINS, AND FAMILY CONNECTONS, BUT, ZEKE AND I, DISTANCED OURSELVES FROM THE SOUTHWICK CREW, AND THEIR VICIOUS JUDGEMENTALISM, REMEMBERING, GRADUATING FROM GRAD SCHOOL, AND GETTING OUT FIRST HOME, IN OGDEN, UTAH, REALLY A SHANTY SHACK, THAT MY FATHER, THOUGHT, NO GOOD COULD COME OF, WITH MY MOTHER SEEING, THE BED I LOVED, BECAUSE IT CAME FROM, ZEKE'S GRANDMA'S HOUSE, HER BED, A METAL BED FRAME, AND WHEN, MY MOTHER SAW IT, SHE SAID, "ONLY POOR FOLK, HAVE BEDS LIKE THAT!" I WAS SHOCKED, AND TAKEN BACK, BY HER COMMENTS, NEVER THOUGHT OF US AS POOR, NOR THAT, WHAT THAT BED INDICATED, WAS POORNESS OR POVERTY? ME AND ZEKE, OR RICHARD, FOCUSED ON EDUCATION, NOT MONEY, BUT, I THINK, MY PARENTS, FELT THAT, KIDS, COULD NOT HAVE A GREAT, UPBRINGING, POOR! WE FOCUSED ON ME STAYING HOME AS A HOUSEWIFE, WITH OUR YOUNG KIDS, UNTIL THEY ALL HIT SCHOOL. THE GAP BETWEEN, THE SECRIST WAY OF LIVING AND VALUES, STARTED TO PART, ONCE AGAIN, BUT WHEN, I DECIDED TO GO TO LAW SCHOOL, AFTER GETTING A DIVORCE, NOT TO MENTION, GIVING THE KIDS TO THEIR FATHER, HAVING TAKEN A MASTER'S LEVEL, FAMILY AND HUMAN DEVELOPMENT CLASS AT UTAH STATE UNIVERSITY, AND WITH MUCH, READING, THOUGHT AND STUDY, ON WHAT DIFFERENCE A FATHER MAKES, AS SEEN IN THIS BLOG, MUCH OF THAT STUDYING, YEARS LATER, BUT, ALL HELL BROKE LOOSE IN THE SECRIST, SOUTHWICK RELATIONS! THAT IS WHERE THE PROMISE THAT IF MY KIDS, EVER BECAME FAMOUS, I WOULDN'T GET ANY CREDIT? LIKE WHAT THE FUCK? BY WHO'S RULES? CIA? THE MORMON CHURCH? THEN, MY FOUR KIDS, ARE THE GOLDEN KIDS, WLL BRAND NAMES IN AND OF THEMSELVES, THE DESIRE OF EVERY, GENERAL, SPY, SISTER, AND FATHER, ALL WHO, POOH, POOHED, GOING TO LAW SCHOOL, FOLLOWING THE DREAM I HAD, AND BASICALLY, MY FATHER SCREAMING AT ME FOR HOURS, TELLING ME, THAT IF I DID, PEOPLE RELATED, LAW, I WAS A TOTAL WASTE TO HIM! HE WANTED TO BE A LAWYER, SUE, WANTED TO BE A LAYWER, NOW, AFTER I ACCOMPLISHED, TONS OF STUFF, WITH, LOCAL, STATE, NATION AND WORLD, IMPACT, THEY ALL DECIDED, THAT, I WAS NOT GOING TO BE MYSELF, AND EVERYONE ELSE, ALL NON-LAWYERS, OR SHITTY LAWYERS WERE GOING TO BE ME! LOL. DOES THAT MAKE SENSE? I WAS BANNED FROM MY OWN, LIFE, KIDS, GRANDKIDS, CAREER, LAW PRACTICE, EVEN MY MATERIAL WEALTH, AND ALL REAL, PERSONAL AND INTELLECTUAL PROEPRTY, ALL FAME, NAME, AND FACE RECOGNITION! SO, IT SEEMS ALL MY HARD WORK, THOUGHTFULNESS AS A MOTHER, SCHOOLING, ENDLESS SERVICE, CHANGING THE WORLD, ARE ALL ATTRIBUTED, TO LESS, WORTHY, FEMALES, UNDER THE PROTECTION, DIRECTION, AND CODDLING OF BIG SWINGING DICKS! FUCK! INTERESTING NIGHT. I OUTRANK, THESE ASS WIPES, I AM SMARTER, COOLER, BETTER AT EVERYTHING, AND THEY JUST SIMPLY, CAN'T DEAL WITH ME, NOR COULD MY FAMILY! THIS MORNING, THIS GAL, GOT OFF THE BUS, SHE LOOKED, LIKE A SHELLEY-DOUBLE, WITH SHORTER, DARK HAIR, AN "A" LINE, LIKE I HAVE WORN, A GOLD JACKET, AND SHINY, CLOGS, BLACK WITH RED KISSES ALL OVER THEM, AS IF TO INDICATE, COMMUNICATING WITHOUT COMMUNICATING, THAT, SHELLEY, IS THE SAINT, THE WALKER, THE PERSON STAYING AT THE HOMELESS SHELTER, THAT, "RA"U"CH" OR RANCH, DEWELLER, WHO HAS NEVER SPENT ONE FUCKING NIGHT IN A SHELTER, BUT, GAMES, LIES, COPS, STAFF, AND BRIBES, HAVE ALLOWED HER TO, PRETEND, SHE IS ME, AND CONTINUES, TO BE "ME!" AS ARE SEVERAL OTHER WOMEN, WHO "OBEY" THE MEN, BOTH IN THE BEDROOM AND THE BOARDROOM, NIETHER OF WHICH I WOULD DO, WHO FOLLOWS, SOMEONE WHO IS BEHIND YOU, MENTALLY, INTELLECTUALLY, IN EXPERIENCE, MORALLY, ETHICALLY, TRAINING, AND WHATEVER? I JUST DON'T PLAY THOSE GAMES! THEY, THE BIG SWINGING DICKS, JUST CAN'T DEAL WITH ME! LOL. HONESTY GENTLEMEN AND LADIES . . . NEVER COULD, NEVER DID, SO, YOU ARE STILL, TRYING TO ELIMINATE ME! HITS, TRAPS, BOGUS WARRANTS, CHARGES, THAT ARE AS FRANKINSTEINISH, AS THE BRIDE OF FRANKENSTEIN, SHELLEY! LOL! I THINK, THAT THE NSA, HACKERS, SOUTHWICK FUCKS, THOUGHT THEY STOLE THIS BLOG, SCANNED IT, RIGHT OFF MY COMPUTER, LIKE THEY DO, WHEN, THEY WANT TO STEAL, OR GET RID OF ONE, A BLOG, SUCH AS THIS, SO REVEALING IN ITS CONTENT, THAT, THEY ARE CRYING, AND SHAMED WHEN, IT GETS THROUGH, BECAUSE, EVERYONE, CAN SEE RIGHT THROUGH THE SCAN AND THE

SECOND ATTEMPT TO STEAL!

I DON'T THINK THIS SHIT WAS INTENDED TO MAKE IT THROUGH TO ME!

THE SCIENCE OF ADDICTION!

This is what, came up on my computer, when, they stole this blog, the first time . . . they could never do a dream interpretation, nor do they have them, nor can they make sense of them!

THIS MATERIAL, OUGHT TO BE HELFFUL, TO THE GOOD CYBER COPS:

• Faronics Anti-Virus
• Scan Detail Report
• Review the information below for security risks detected and cleaned (mind you this is my dream!)
• Date/Time: 09/18/2017  10:06:04 AM
• Scan Type: Custom (I always knew they were scanning my blog, the second they stole it, and putting in on other IP addresses, as if the, other person, wrote it, male or female, giving them, the money associated with the topic!)
• Run Type: Manual
• Definition Version: 60488 (08/22/2017  10:55) (that is about right for the last time they scanned or stole my blog, I totally, disappears from my screen, and I generally, can't find it, but if you set a trap for someone, you are going to fall in one yourself, this is the proof I needed of the PRISM system, being used for personal use, not tax payers, service . . . Mormon, Southwick, shit!  $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
• Duration (hr.min.sec.): 00:00:40 . . . (disappears in a flash!)
• Processes Scanned: 47 Traces Detected 0
• Registry Items Scanned: 0 Traces Detected 0
• Cookies Scanned: 0 Traces Detected 0
• Security Risks Detected and Cleaned.
• Risks Cleaned: 0 (there was nothing of national security interests, whatsoever, just embarrassing stuff, to Kay, my mother, father, and Southwick crime family!)
• Cleaning Action Taken: Risk Name   Risk Category   Risk Traces    Risk Level!

I HAVE TOLD YOU FOR FOUR FUCKING YEARS, THAT, THESE FUCKERS, HACKERS, NSA, FBI, CIA, DIA, DEA, AND OTHERS, HAVE BEEN, SCANNING THIS BLOG, SO FAST, THAT THE HUMAN OR NAKED EYE CAN'T SEE IT, AND MY BLOG, LUCKILY, BY, THE GRACE OF GOD, WHO GAVE ME THE DREAM, SAVED IT, AND I GOT THIS SHIT, TO PROVE, THAT, THEY HAVE STOLEN, ALL MY BLOGS AND COLLECTED BILLIONS!

EDWARD SNOWDEN, DID US A FAVOR, BUT I KNEW IT LONG BEFORE, HE CAME OUT WITH THE INFORMATION, IN FACT, I BELIEVE, THAT HE MIGHT HAVE BEEN THE NSA AGENT, WHO WAS SUPPOSE TO BE MONITORING, SENATOR HATCH'S HOMEPAGE, WHERE I WROTE, CHALLENGING THE CYBER INTELLIGENCE SHARING AND INFORMATION ACT . . . THREATENED HATCH, A SELF-PROCLAIMED, CONSTITUTIONAL LAW HERO, WHO VOTES OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN, FOR THE PATRIOT ACT AND ALL, ITS ABUSES, LIKE, FUCKING RIGHT HERE, LONG BEFORE, I STARTED A BLOG, IN FACT, WHEN, I FIRST GOT BACK INTO THE LAW AND POLITICS, IF IT DIDN'T JUMP OFF MY PAGE, THERE WERE AGENTS, HIDING TO STEAL THE COPY. THIS SHIT IS REAL! THIS BLOG IS WORTH A FUCKING FORTUNE, THEY STOLE IT, 9 DAYS AFTER I STARTED IT, AND I BELIEVE THAT MILES, ALERTED THEM, TO THE BLOG, AND STARTED TO TAKE COMMENTS AND GET ADSENSE MONEY, LIKE HE WANTED ME TO DO, BACK AT THE START, IN SEPTEMBER 21, 2013!  BY TWO DAYS AFTER I SET UP THE BLOG, WITH A NEW COMPUTER, UNDER JO BESS . . . THE WORDS, "IT'S YOU!!!!" CAME UP IN THE CORNER OF THE BLOG, LATER, REPLACED BY JOANN S. SECRIST!  BY OCTOBER 9, 2013, MY GOOGLE ACCOUNT, BLOGGER, ACCOUNT WAS "REDIRECTED" AND FROM THAT POINT ON, IT WAS AN OPEN BLOG, THAT, SHELLEY, KAY, BRETT, OR ANYONE COULD ACCESS THE MONEY FROM . . .  IF YOU GO TO THE ACCOUNT OR THE PROFILE, AND INFORMATION ON THE ACCOUNT, THERE IS AN ATTEMPT TO MAKE IT LOOK, LIKE THIS BLOG WAS STARTED, AUGUST 21, 2013, A MONTH BEFORE, AS IF, I STOLE IT FROM THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  SCREAMMMMMMMMMMMMM!

PRIVILEGE FOR NONE, JUSTICE FOR ALL . . . I AM NOT SOME FREAK OF NATURE, THAT JUST HAPPENED TO BE GIFTED, OR LIKE BRETT SAID, A SAVANT, NO, I WENT TO SCHOOL, STUDIED MY ASS OFF, GOT ALL KINDS OF HONORS AND AWARD, WHICH, GOT ME INTO LAW SCHOOL, WITHOUT TAKING THE LSAT, OTHER THAN, A FORMALITY!  THERE WAS LITTLE RISK, LETTING ME IN, AND I HAVE SHINED EVER SINCE, SPEAKING, WRITING, LEGISLATING, DOING MANUALS, ROCKIN' CASES, BEING #2 IN THE NATION, FOR CIVIL RIGHTS DEFENSE, WRITING THE MOST READ BLOG IN THE FUCKING UNIVERSE, BY, BILLIONS OF HITS EACH DAY!  FIND ME 10,000 OTHER BLOGGER, THAT EQUAL MY HITS, DAY AFTER DAY AFTER DAY!  FUCK AND YOU ARE ALLOWING A STEAL ON THIS?  SHIT . . . WHO DO YOU THINK IS PAYING FOR THOSE SKYRISES ON THE SEATTLE SKYLINE?  SURE AS SHIT, NOT THE DARK HEADED, BITCH, SHELLEY, NOR KAY!  LAST NIGHT WATCHING, THE BIG BANG THEORY, WITH THE DARK HAIRED SCIENCE CHICK, BEING SEEN AS THE SMART ONE, AND THE BLONDE, NOW WITH SHORT HAIR, THE DUMB AS A CHIMP, CHICK, RACHEL, SURE AS SHIT, NOT ME, ALL STEREOTYPES, WERE USED, TO PULL THIS SHIT OFF . . . ASK HILLARY, BLONDES HAVE MORE FUN AND WE ARE SMARTER . . . SHOW ME A BRUNETTE, WITH A RESUME, LIKE EITHER OF THESE HOT SMART, BLONDES!  WE HAVE MORE FUN TOO!  SO FUCK YOU!