Platonic Dream With Old Flame & Brother-in-Law
The other night, after I wrote the first serial, of fun sex, I had this interesting dream with my old junior high, and college boyfriend, whom, I lined up with my little sister, because while he was on his Mormon mission in Germany, I married a missionary, and also former boyfriend, who went to Holland, but I had the dubious, task of writing the dreaded, Dear John Letter, famous to missionaries, and military alike, that a former love interest, had lost interest, or moved on, or found someone new. Mark continued to contact me for 5 years after I was married, wanting me to go to a high school class reunion, Bountiful High, 1973, or something else. Finally, I called him up and decided to do a reality check, and meet with him, bringing my two darling daughters with me, for him to see, there was a daddy involved in this family, and I had long moved on. However, as well all, know, the heart is tender, and old feelings are not so easily erased, so a bit tense and times, after I lined Mark, a very successful, Periodontist, or a dentist for children, and he is great at it, but, before that time, I hooked him up with my younger sister, of 5 years. They are still married, and they make a great couple, with a beautiful family.
The dream was simple, and straight forward, Mark, wearing a royal blue, dress shirt, always, the ZZ Top, Well Dressed Man, he just came up and hugged me, that was it. I woke up wondering, what was that all about? I haven't seen Mark for several years, so, the dream came as a surprise to me. However, not in the context, of what I had written about fun sex, healing sex, and healthy relationships . . . as do most couples, especially, ones who are raised to dismiss sex and feelings for so long, until they are married, and nothing wrong with that, and marriage is a good public health issues--committed couples generally, have better sex! It is the TRUST component! But, I remember, Marcie, the 5th of 6 Southwick daughters, coming back from Oklahoma, after being married a short time, and telling me a funny, but somewhat sad, story of the first night, that she decided to be venturesome and sex, buying a hot red, if I remember, sex pot negligee of some sort, and Marcie had a great body, still does, takes care of herself well. Mark may have made the comment he made to Marcie, to me, given, I was not blessed with the stellar body she was, big boobs and all, thin legs.
Valentine Delight or Shell Shocked?
So, Marcie, not so brave about this whole sex thing, decided to surprise Mark, and be the aggressor, the promoter, and the instigator of sex, probably for once, knowing Marcie! LOL! But, she walked in the room, showing off her newly acquired sexual promoting apparel, and Mark, I think taken back by this, said, Marc . . . what are you doing? So the timid wife, not expecting, that response, ran in the bathroom, and I don't think, if memory serves, 40 years, ever had sex that night, and I believe it was Valentine's Day, and what Marcie thought Mark would like, and desire her in. Mormons! My second husband, Jerry, did a similar thing to his, hot body, sexy wife, beautiful too, and on their honeymoon, he was fishing on a bright sunny, fall, afternoon, warm, romantic, to me, regardless of whether I am with someone or not. But, Trudy, decided to surprise Jerry, and she came slowly and carefully, walking over the smooth rocks in the stream, where he was fishing, completely naked, to have some afternoon, delight . . . he turned as saw her, and said, something like Mark, what do you think you are doing, go get some clothes on . . . he told me, after their divorce, not surprised, that she was absolutely stunning and beautiful, and I asked, why he didn't just go attack her, and make lover to her?
Is this an issue of priorities, roles in sex, stereotypes of who is the aggressor, the hunter and the prey, or just bad timing, or shock at the unexpected behavior of a wife? Sex is complicated, but, the responses were not what the daring wife, who really was not so daring, were expecting. Did the movies, forget to show, sexuality between spouses, and so this threw the game off? I am not sure. But, Mark, who, like most men, might be somewhat to blame, going way back, for the lack of spontaneity, fun, and adventure in their marriages. Sex is not about just you, just your sex drive, or just your timing, when you are jacked up. Maybe the right thing to do, is reverse the situation, and have the men, married or not, ask themselves, if, some of these issues are creeping in, and they are expecting a lover, spouse, to respond when they want sex, but timing is important, but so is giving, at the appropriate time . . . Perhaps the dream, was just saying thanks for the information, and it might help him understand his sex partner and wife, for the last, at least 35 years! Congrats!
Insensitive Wives Can Be Just As Bad
I don't know the background, on Greg and Bonnie, but they had been high school sweethearts, but there had always been signs of abuse on her part, and Greg tried to save her, she was a project for him. Greg was and is a successful attorney, and a partner with his brothers, in Sprinkler World, his share was worth $40 million dollars. He had at one time, had a record deal with Columbia Records, and to this day, still plays with the same, high school friends, who come form all over the country to get together, or at least they did when I was dating him, back in late 1999. But, a very smart guy . . . in everything but marriage. One night, when he knew the marriage was having problems, he filled the jet tub, with bubbles, put candles all over the bathroom, got in the bath, and put a bow, like a present on his head. Bonnie walked in, and said, No, I don't think so, and turned a walked away!
Love, Regardless of Marriage, Has Got to Enter In--DO NO HARM!
Sex is a powder keg, waiting to go off, if we do not handle it well. Sex and money are the two top reasons for divorce, we can eliminate one of those, simply be being more considerate to our spouses, or lovers, and being sensitive, to what they are trying to either do, or say, through their actions. It may not be the best time, the right time, or you may not want sex, but the rejection is a KILLER! I don't know all the answers, but I do know, that these examples, can start a marriage off wrong, end a relationship, and bring a lot of hurt and misunderstanding into the couple. Communication is probably critical, honesty, the truth, tolerance, love all need to be employed! Sex is intimate, you are exposing yourself, your feelings, your body, opening yourself up to this person, who can either nurture the love you have for each other, or they can destroy the loving feelings, and all of the determination is in your hands, or your heard, or your mind!
Once words of criticism, rejection, postponing the sex or the moment, things, may never be the same again. You are literally, messin' with Sasquatch! Some woman, I met in Butte, a month ago, didn't even get her name out her mouth, and she said, I need to find a husband, now! Okay, but she made the statement, that if sex is good in marriage or in a relationship, it is only 60% important, but if it is bad, it becomes, 90% important . . . I would say, that is somewhat inflated, and sex can be overrated, while being very important! I got into a conversation with a woman yesterday, and just caught the part of the conversation that said, sex is overrated, don't you think, she said, turning to me. Apparently, her husband and her, have no had sex for 5 years, and she made some reference to his injury, I had no idea about. But she said, she loved him . . . there is the magic word, LOVE, and in spite of the lack of sex, they were still very much in love! Yesterday, I saw them, hugging and being playful with each other . . . playful sexuality, can be very rewarding too!
Bible Reference to Playful, Fun Sex . . . Abraham and Sarah
One of my favorite parts of the Bible, due to the fun thoughts of what the father of nations, was doing to his wife, but Abraham, lied to the King about the his marital status, telling the King, that he and Sarah were either cousins, or brother and sister. Sarah was beautiful, and Abraham was afraid the King, seeing her beauty, would kill Abraham, for Sarah, to take her as one of his wives. The way the King, who felt, very betrayed by the lie, found out they were more than related, but that they were married, was that he noticed the playful nature of their interactions, and I am sure, they were of a sexual type, because it is implied! I love that, and I know what that feels like! Here again, you have to have trust, love, and a playful nature, call it foreplay, or whatever, it is the stuff, that prepares a partner, for sex, not hitting them between the eyes, cold, and unexpected; however, if the other happens, go with the flow and enjoy it! The unexpected is always fun, if you don't have sexual hang-ups.
FUN SEX II--Live Like You Are Dying! With Caveats!
One day, some man is going to be very lucky to get me, because, it had taken so many to break this mustang down, seriously, both, learning to trust, love, relax, enjoy, experiment, dismiss mishaps, there are always preferences, exploration, and limits, as you progress in a personal sexual revolution! I am 60, and I am just finally, getting to the point, that I think, I could be good to a man, treat him, like something other than an object, with feelings, not just some dog in heat, trying to get in my pants! LOL! My second husband, Jerry, always worried, while we were dating, that is very non-committed girlfriend, would run off with some other guy, and do whatever, thinking that men are pure in their motives for sex, and what their objectives were and are! That either was really good advice, or tainted me, making me think, that is all a man wants, leaving most in the dust, and missing some really good guys along the way, even now!
They Say, The Third Time is the Charm--Sexually, For Me, It Was
When you are told that you are dying, you tend to live a bit differently, seriously, all abandon! So, I am standing outside of Alberstons Food Store, in Logan, Utah, and this hot guy approaches me, and says Hi. I didn't think much about it. But when he returned, he stopped and started up a conversation, having just purchased an Architectural Digest Magazine, brains, I like that, and I had heard that meeting someone at the grocery store is a good place to meet either men or women. Why? Because, they are generally, taking care of a home, shopping for food, not dates, and they tend to be more stable and good citizens . . . Brett turned into Charles Manson and the Family, mine, later!
Fun sex, may have been the reason! LOL! I asked Brett, where he lived, and he told me on a 23 acre farm, in Mount Sterling, Utah . . . cool, like that. He then asked me if I wanted to go see it, hell, yeah, I am going to die anyway, so, I might as well have some excitement, but I was on my period, therefore, I felt safe in going to his house . . . I didn't have experience with country boys, a little blood, to a hunter, who guts animals, is nothing. I had no idea, what lay ahead of me that might, but I might as well, take this good-looking guy up on his offer, and I did. Oh, how important and easy things go for men, with a goal, when they use a little romance, some smooth tactics, play a few songs on the guitar, put on shorts, so your great legs show, and ask your new house guest, to rub some lotion on you legs . . . just like magic!
Brett was turning an old horse barn into a straw bale house, an environmentally new construction, I always, learned from him and he was a reader. But, the house was rough, no running water, little electricity, other than between us, and a green hospital bed, that was a bit, larger than a twin, but not much, and Brett, asks me to stay the night. I am on my period, so, who cares. Now, believe it or not, this turned me on--I had been married to a city planner, and he was not into nature, the outdoors, hunting, although he did get a buck and we had antlers on the wall, in our first home, but over all, if I was on my period, that was not the time to have sex, just a given. The Bible even states, that a woman is unclean for 7 days, after her period, a time of cleansing. It wasn't a big deal, but, a totally new experience for me, and I dug it. The blood and guts, I mean, earthy, natural, basic, and a huge turn on!
Out Goes One Plug, In Goes Another! LOL!
I decide, what the hell, I don't have anywhere to go, I am dying, so I decide to stay the night. The night is romantic, and the farthest thing, from my mind, is that, while kissing and messing around, that we are going to have sex, that just wasn't an option up for grabs. He starts getting more and more, turned on and making more and more advances, until I have to lower the bomb and tell him, that we just have bad timing, and I am on my period. He didn't say a thing, reached up the t-shirt dress I had on, and just grabbed the plug, my tampon, and replugged me up with his own version of a plug! LOL! I saw shocked at the swift act of taking care of the problem, and all was well, just a little while latter. Cement floors, at this point, although, I don't think carpet would have deterred him, and that little bloody, object, was disposed of, and it would be dealt with in the morning!
My prudish little world, of reasons not to have sex, or using a period as a protection, or even thinking of blood as being impure or a dirty part of a woman, all disappeared in one grab, and toss! LOL! Oh, well, I guess that is that . . . LOL! I woke up to a mountain of September, sunflowers, covering the whole fall, foothills, outside the little barn/house. Love had sprung, my favorite time of the year, and a gift from God for this dying woman . . . that was about 7 years ago! LOL! But, maybe God, knew, that he had to do something to loosen me up, so I could enjoy the pleasures of this delicious life! And I did. We took a hike, up to a tree, not far above the house, and Brett wanted to make love again. I said, I am bleeding a big more, as if I had just said, my hair is in my face, let me move it. And again, just like my blood was the nourishment of life to him, he didn't care, and proceeded to make love to me, in the weeds, in the dirt, and in front of God, angels and all witnesses, who might have been seeing anything that day. We hiked to a pipeline, and again, we made love, fun, spontaneous and up on the top of a mountain, pretty remote, I am not much of an exhibitionist. But, I had no hangups about my body, blood, imperfections, nor did I feel at all inadequate, but completely loved, safe, and appreciative . . . it is amazing, what healing can take place, one partner to another!
I never left his house, that day, or for the next 18 months, other than to go somewhere occasionally. He worked at a factory, allegedly, and came home every lunch, to eat, and make love, which became like eating to both of us, our sustenance as a couple . . . often with him, begging for mercy, as one love making session would end and as soon as I would start kissing him, the flag pole was up! Ever ready batteries, at times he wanted to work. He would beg for mercy on the weekends, I could not get enough of him and sexually, we matched up well. I was happy just looking at him, watching his body move, the muscles, the tussled dark hair, fun, lazy, and cool, in the early months. I would say, we had sex, on weekends, at least 5 to 8 times, all fun, all happy, and all fulfilling. We made love everywhere we went, until one day, I had actually been a rebound, he met me a day after he had broken up with some girl at the college, actually two former girls. Lack of trust entered the relationship, when he went to the college, and didn't take me with him, which was rare . . . I remember, sitting watching the rain, a white dog came into the yard, indicating, yeah, men are like dogs in heat, and a bag of CHEETOS, tumbled across our yard--God my Intel man, always let's me know what is going on. Everything changed from that day on, so he has nobody to blame but himself, the games started, the lack of trust started, but we still had fun. I am just going to tell you about two funny sexual encounters, to give you some ideas.
Every Bone In My Body Is Tired, But ONE! LOL!
We were going down to meet my parents for the first time. We did a strange marriage, legal, and real, but my parents, didn't accept it as the real thing, because it was very unconventional, people wanted dates and details, preachers name and whatever. When I was teaching family law at the University of Utah, the first semester, a student, asked me if Utah had common law marriages. I was not sure, but I knew where to find out, and we didn't, but Utah something called a non-solemnized marriage. There were five conditions, and we met all of them, but the families, were a bit hesitant to take it as a real marriage, just like many do, with common law marriages. I was dying and I could not see any reason to go to the formality of having a judge or justice of the peace marry us, I explained it to Brett, and he agreed with me, if that was what I wanted.
So, when I called my mother to say we were coming do to visit, she asked me, if we would rather stay at the small home of my parents, or go to a motel, and she would pay, that was an indication, she was not dealing well, with her very, wild, unconventional daughter and her new husband. We went to the hotel, and to our surprise, after a long day, getting the truck cleaned, packed, dogs taken care of, and the 7 hour drive done, the walls were a gross dark blue, there was a picture of a tiger on the wall, and we both just looked at each other, and laughed, which we often did . . . is this salt in the wound, or what, this room is cheap and hideous. So, Brett insisted we go get another room on our bill, and we did. He had done much of the work, so I wasn't particularly worn out, but he had worked hard. We were laying in bed, just talking, and I was giving him some peace, not getting sexual, kind of non-sexual touching, when all of the sudden, as a hint that, yeah, he was tired, but there was one member of his body, that was not exhausted, and we laughed and laughed, until tears came to our eyes, given the stupid, hotel, the stress of the parents, and all, but there was still one bone in his body that was not tired! LOL! And you know the rest of the story!
And She Just Couldn't Swallow It . . . Simulcast, NPR, Commentary!
Brett and I were just sitting around, one afternoon, he had worked in the yard, we worked in the house, and we were taking a break, listening to NPR, National Public Radio, the only constant form of entertainment in our house, without TV. Like I said, before, oral sex, was not something I did often to any husband, but, for some reason, that day, he was looking particularly relaxed, handsome, and just kicking back on a chair or rocker, when I decided to surprise him, with some of that afternoon, delight. I had never, swallowed cum before, nor really tasted in, but this particular time, I thought, well, many people do this, so, why not, but I was completely unsure, just what you do, having given a blow job, but, what next, and how exactly do you do this, and what is the deal. I am very cerebral, so, the nuts and bolts of this were important, and he had no idea what was going on, just totally enjoying the moment, but both of us were listening to the radio too.
Just as he started to ejaculate, I started having second thoughts about it, being kind of a bit, taken back by the amount of cum, and whatnot, and just as I was thinking, NPR, radio, said, as I took a towel and spit the cum out, with the radio announcer, saying, and she just couldn't swallow it! LOL! Both of us, just busted up laughing, I was gagging and wiping my mouth off, and he was just enjoying the seen, not offended, but just taking it all in stride . . . LOL! That is fun sex, trusting sex, accepting sex, understanding sex, and good clean fun! What husbands and wives should be doing together, non-judgmental, not expecting the earth to quake under their feet for trembling pleasure, just going with the flow, understanding where the person is coming from, and just accepting what is going on, rolling with it, and laughing at ourselves. I was very funny, we laughed for a while. Sex like that, makes you at ease, comfortable, and whatever, very healing!
ALONG THIS LINE, I JUST WANTED TO MENTION AN ARTICLE I READ A YEAR AGO, IN THE MISSOULA INDEPENDENT, ABOUT LOVE, ACCEPTING SEX, AND FUN SEX, REGARDLESS OF PERFECT BODIES, AND PEOPLE!
Some chick, wanted thank the men in her life, boyfriends, lovers, friends, and associates, as I recall she was an editor or writer for the magazine. She went on to say how thankful and blessed she had been, meeting and dealing with the men, she had in work, home, personal and whatever. How truly caring they were, how good they had made her feel about her inadequacies, her body, her mind, and her life. That she knew she was not perfect and they loved her, made love to her, and cared for her in her imperfections, and what a joy that was to her life. I would give a resounding applause, because a partner, a brother, a friend, a lover's words, can make all the difference in the way someone feels about their bodies, which goes directly into the sexual part of their lives, and God bless the men that make women feel good.
Guys, just don't think about it like women do, most of them, like studies show, that 96% of the men, think they look great, that may be due to the fact, that all their body parts are covered, and undisclosed to the naked eye, unlike women, with breast size, that old T&A, deal, rating systems, and the news stands, packed with perfect looking women, 10 to 1, women to men, holding standards so high for women, that one in a thousand will ever look like that, and to be made to feel completely loved, sexy, beautiful, and amazing by a partner, will only bring you back endless benefits, in her making love to a man, she digs and trusts . . . then both sides win. Women, about 64% say they are basically comfortable with their bodies, I would say that is high!
The media, airbrushing, computer enhancement, etc., have done us harm, and in so doing, have done men harm. Therefore, the way to combat this phenomena, is for the men, in their women's lives, to compliment, and love regardless of the perfect shape, love them for who they are, not how they show off on your arm, especially for college age. At BYU, my freshman year, they said, that 80% of the guys, dated only 20% of the female student body, looking for the perfect bodies, which most just don't have, good, but not perfect. I remember, my roommate was dating this buy in a semi-frat house, on campus. He really had fun with her, liked her, but when homecoming came, he pushed me to go to the dance with him, so he could show me off to his friends! I was totally disgusted and I told him in no uncertain terms what I thought about a guy who, loves or cares for someone in private, but is ashamed of them in public, or wants a more flashy girl!
A beautiful cover, does not a good book make, or a good partner, or a good mother, or a good lover! Looks can only take you so far, and you better have a whole lot more going on for most guys, and the same for most girls. I have been with some very handsome guys, but if there isn't anything but good looks, I will opt for the less handsome! Happy hunting and happy sex!
Time for Lunch, and U of Montana Birthday Bash, 155 Years and Counting . . . Let's Party!
Serial Fun Sex III Tomorrow--I Would Call This, Majestic Madness, the name of a local store, but also, symbolic . . . I don't share with with you to be an exhibitionist, or dirty, or to shock you . . . I do, if for Better Marriages, Health Relationships, and All That Jazz!
P.S., Just a comment on the local rock slide, cleaning up tons of fallen rock, we had one out side of Utah, about that size, and it to the Utah Department of Transportation 6 months to a year to clean up, so Montana Department of Transportation, getting something that size cleaned up, in what a day or two, is a feet worth noting, and done just like Montana does things, let's GIT-R-DONE! Good job, MDOT!
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