MIX & MATCH. CLINTON FAMILY VS. TRUMP FAMILY. BROOM BEAR. HANGTIME! KUM & GO. CHEER CLUB! PERFECT PRESSURE POWER WASH. I'M THE REAL JOANN SECRIST OF SWAG! YEAH, THE HOMELESS CHICK, THE ONE SITTING AT MCDONALD'S WRITING THIS, THE ONE WHO STAYED IN ROOM 118, SLEEPY INN, HAVING MISSED THE BUS, LAST NIGHT FROM TARGET! THIS IS NOT HARD DUMB ASSES! STING OP BOTCHED--BUS, SHERIFF, COP, MOTOR CYCLE COP! YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE: "PSYCHO FOR LOVE!" THE CRUELEST CUT: "OBSESSED WITH HER." CHARISMATIC HANDSOME HUSBAND, PLOTS WITH FRIENDS TO BRUTALLY MURDER WIFE--HE SETS UP ALIBI, GETS FRIENDS WHO ARE BEHOLDEN TO HIM, TO CUT HER TO BITS WITH A MASCETTE, THE FLIP SIDE OF OBSESSION, IS GENERALLY DEATH! I LEARNED THAT FROM THE DUDE WHO STALKED AND OBSESSED OVER ME, WHO ENDED UP GOING TO PRISON, THANK GOD! THREE EX-HUSBANDS, OBSESSED TOO, 4 YEARS OF DEATH THREATS AND ATTEMPTS. BIG DADDY--DAD HAS GUNS (COPS TO HELP, ALL EX'S WILL LIE AND SAY THAT I AM THIS SISTER OR THAT SISTER, OR FRIEND, ALL PART OF TRYING TO KILL ME--STEALING MY SHIT MAKES THEM FEEL BETTER, AND $$$$$$$$$ SEEMS TO END ALL PAIN!). UNIQUE OBSESSION. NATURALLY BEAUTIFUL. FIGHT TO RETAIN MY BLOG WRITING FROM YESTERDAY! GOD INTEL: (1) MILLER GENUINE DRAFT (SHELLEY'S DEAD BEAT SON GOT A MILLER CHICK PREGNANT, SO A SIGN); (2) PEPSI . . . BLUE BORING COLOR, COLOR FOR MORMON CHURCH; (3) COCA COLA, RED AND WHITE, POWER COLOR AND PURE COLOR, LORD COKE, DIET COKE, ME; (4) SAMUEL ADAMS BEER--DELIVERED WITH MORE FLAVOR . . . SO I POSTED MY BLOG YESTERDAY, REPOSTED IT LAST NIGHT AGAIN, THEN THIS MORNING, FIRST THING OUT OF "SLEEP INN" ROOM 118, VERIFY, WHILE WAITING FOR BUS 14, I REPOSTED THE BLOG AGAIN! BUT FROM THE INTEL, IT APPEARS, AFTER I DID IT, THEY REPOSTED ACCORDING TO THE SYMBOLISM . . . THE OTHER DAY, REMEMBER, I SAID, THERE WERE TWO PORTALS OPEN ON MY COMPUTER, 80, LISTED FIRST, AND 443 BLOCKED WHILE I TRIED TO GET ONTO JUST THE INTERNET, LET ALONE MY BLOG, SO WHAT IT APPEARED TO ME, WAS THAT THE NSA OR SISTER GIVEN ACCESS THROUGH THE MORMONS AT THE NSA, GETS TOP BILLING WITH 80, MAKING IT LOOK LIKE SHE IS THE GENUINE DRAFT OR THE FIRST ONE WRITING THE BLOG, THEN, 443 COMING UNDERNEATH, IS THE FRAUD, WHEN IN REALITY, SHELLEY DOESN'T WRITE "ANY" OF THE BLOGS, IT IS THE FLASHBANG, MAGIC, LIP TRICKS, AND COMPUTER TROLLS, WHO HAVE BEEN ACTING LIKE THE GATE KEEPERS, WHO STOLE MY BLOG, JUST TWO WEEKS AFTER I STARTED IT, DIVIDED TO CONQUER WITH 8+ VERSIONS, JUST LIKE THERE ARE ABOUT THAT MANY VERSIONS OF ME, SO ONLY THEIR CHOSEN CAN CROSS THE BRIDGE WITHOUT THE TROLL MONSTERS COMING OUT TO ATTACK, WHICH IS SO TRUE, ACTING LIKE THEY ARE THE WRITERS, EVEN BLOCKING ME! THE WRITER FROM THE START . . . I HAVE WRITTEN ALL, WHAT 1020 OR SO BLOGS, EVERY FUCKING WORD, EVERY IDEA THAT COMES OUT ON THE BLOG, I PUT IN MY BRAIN FIRST! THEN, THEY SCAN IT, EDIT ANYTHING THAT IS DAMAGING TO THE MORMONS, THE FBI, THE CIA, THE NSA, OR THE MORMON INSIDERS, IN THIS GAME OF "PIRATES OF THE CARRIBEAN!" THE MOVIE POPULAR WHEN THEY STARTED STEALING MY SONS' MUSIC, MY RESUME, MY LIFE, EVEN MY STORIES, LIKE IN THE BLOG YESTERDAY, THE INSPIRATION AND INSIGHT INTO FRESH INFORMATION BACK IN 1996 WHEN I WROTE "DOMESTIC VIOLENCE 101" A USER FRIENDLY MANUAL FOR PROSECUTORS AND LAW ENFORCEMENT ON DOMESTIC VIOLENCE & SEXUAL ASSAULT" NOW BEING ADOPTED BY THE DEPARTMENT OF JUSTICE FOR HUMAN BODY TRAFFICKING, WHICH SHELLEY IS TRYING OR HAS SAID SHE DID . . . NO, SHE WAS AN ABUSED WOMAN, I HAVE FUCKING NEVER BEEN HIT! THE FUCKING LIARS HAD TO FIGHT HARDER THAN NORMAL, NOT ONLY FOR A TOP HIT, LIKE ALL OF MINE ARE, BUT TO RETAIN, THE LIE THAT SHELLEY IS THE ONE WHO WROTE "MY DOMESTIC VIOLENCE" AWARD WINNING MANUAL, SERVING AS A NATIONAL MODEL, AWARDED UNDER THE VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN ACT, GIVEN IN WASHINGTON, D.C., BY THE FIRST PRESIDENT CLINTON! PRESIDENT CLINTON II GAVE A KILLER GREAT TALK THIS MORNING IN OHIO, ON HER ECONOMIC POLICIES AS OPPOSED TO TRUMPS VOID FOR VAGUENESS POLICIES! IN HIS TRUMP NATION MIND . . . NOW, HIS CAMPAIGN IS A FAMILY AFFAIR, WITH HIS KIDS PUSHING TO FIRE HIS CAMPAIGN MANAGER, HE TALKED BAD ABOUT IVANKA'S HUSBAND! THIS MORNING, THEY SHOWED A PICTURE OF TRUMP AND HIS THREE CHILDREN, HIS KID FROM HIS OTHER MARRIAGES, OTHER THAN IVANA, WERE LEFT OUT, AS WAS HIS WIFE, MELANIA . . . THE UNITED STATES OF TRUMP? SOMEONE SAID, IT IS CLEAR THE FAMILY IS IN CHARGE: (1) MOB CONNECTIONS WITH CASTELLANO MOB FAMILY, RULING THE NEW YORK CONSTRUCTION AND SKYLINE; (2) WANTS THE FAMILIES OF TERRORISTS MURDERED; (3) PEOPLE NEED TO BE ROUGHED UP THAT OPPOSE TRUMP; (4) ATLANTIC CITY GAMBLING AND CASINO--TYPICAL MOB SHIT; AND (5) NOW, ONLY THE TRUMP FAMILY RUNNING THE CAMPAIGN . . . THE CASTELLANO CRIME FAMILIES, GATHERED IN 1985 WANTED TO LEGITIMIZE THEIR CRIMINAL ACTIVITIES AND MONEY LAUNDERING, ALL THE BUILDINGS WITH THE TRUMP BRAND? BUT THEIR ULTIMATE GOAL WAS TO HAVE A PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES, PROTECTING MOB INTERESTS . . . TRUMP IS NOTHING MORE THAN A GLORIED THUG, FROM THE GANGS OF NEW YORK! HILLARY HAMMERED HIM THIS MORNING! I AM SURE THE COMPLETE SPEECH WILL BE POSTED ON THE INTERNET ON YOUTUBE TOMORROW, COVERED BY ALL NEWS STATIONS, EXCEPT FOX OPINION! LOL!

The Tale of the Tortoise and the Hare

This morning while I was watching the speech, I believe in Columbus, Ohio, as Hillary Clinton, so eloquently, took Trump behind the backyard shed, and gave him an ass whooping, thrashed his economic policy and dismantled, him line by line, precept by precept, dumb ass comment by dumb ass comment, I could not help thinking about the story my mother read me when I was young . . . the race between the hare or rabbit and the tortoise or turtle.  In this children's story, but filled with allegorical, lessons for both kids and adults, the tortoise takes off, slow, steady, plodding, along, toward the finish line, as the hare, much faster, more exciting, take off like a bullet, and thinks he is so far ahead, that he goofs along the way, take a nap, plays, eats, as the tortoise, continues in her relentless journey hard fought, slowly, continuing toward the goal of reaching the finish line before the hare.  And when all is said and done, it is the tortoise who wins the race, because of the constant and enduring, slow process of seeing the goal, staying on the path, focused, and never stepping off the well beaten path to success and the win . . . such is Hillary's trail to the White House . . . strategic, patient, calm, relentless, plodding, taking her place and time, getting trained, taking positions and jobs, that would prepare her and enable her to be a great president, not flashy, entertaining . . . although, she is getting more and more funny, given the subject matter of her competition, who is giving her plenty of ammo to use against him, and any person, who is like, Hillary or the tortoise, who plotted and planned this for fucking 25 YEARS, they know the clown Trump, and his sporadic, energize, erratic, strong man, arm pumping, stop and go, not just in this election, but considering a run for over what 16 years?  But NEVER doing anything to be prepared, learn the government system, the Constitution, nor how to run a campaign!  Just like the hare, assumes he has the tools, the speed the energy, the stamina to win the race, when in reality, he is slipping in every way!

Personality, entertainment, energy, flexing muscles, acting the strong man, never substitutes for hard fought, principles, understanding, training, experience, knowledge, strategy and staying power!  We saw this with Sarah Palin--who could not even make it the full term in her alleged, Alaskan governor's position, too, lacking the intellectual curiosity, to even study what the vice president of the United States does, contained in one fucking line in the Constitution . . . yeah that document, that is the bible for running both the federal and state governments!  You can slam beltway insiders all you want, but they have paid their dues, fought the good fight, endured the pressure of Washington, D.C., or in Hillary's case, starting to be on a national scene, at a young age, starting with her law practice, and every inch of the way, she has shown her commitment to children, women, people, caring, fighting for, and working for, all of us, then moving to a world stage, fully prepared from fucking DAY ONE, to take the reigns of this country, better prepared than any other candidate, we have EVER had run for public office!  It kills me, other than, I know the feeling, that, Hillary's ratings were way high as Secretary of State, but the second she announces that she is running for President, all of the sudden, magically, her rating starts to slip, she was no longer a good Sec. of State, and without doing a fucking thing, she is now, Crooked Hillary?  If that is not a Trump projection, I don't know what is!  Who is the crook . . . Hillary has not been sued, 3500 times!  She has not been bankrupt 4 times!  She is not the one who refused to report her income taxes!  Her and Bill have released fucking 40 yeas of income taxes!  GOD WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU IDIOTS?

The Clinton Family vs. Trump and His Spoiled Bratz?  Seriously?

Now, I adore my children, and they are smart, beautiful, educated, cool, have experiences that I have never had, like serving in the military, and travelling all over the world, belonging to world honor societies, fighting the music scene, running a computer firm, making files for politicians, movie stars, companies, or information and insights into homeschooling and foreign relations, etc.; however, I would not, defer to my children's expertise, in government, unless they had actual training, experience, and either employment in the area, or something that would qualify them, or distinguish them in my mind, as being of note and worthy of asking, something about, and area of law or policy, as in my oldest daughter's employment with the Forest Service, the Bureau of Land Management, or the Divisions of Natural Resource Division, etc., where she has understandings and insights, that are unique and different than my background, in the law with a smattering of classes, cases, legislation, that touches on those areas, but not in depth, and maybe just through, a case or two, or a client, who had educated me, or I have been called upon to lobby for this or that issue, up at the state legislature.  But, I would always, always, always, take into consideration, their youth, cutting them, not only slack, but realizing that, just life experience, can, make the difference in how, they might, interpret something, or slant their ideas, this way or that, given, not only the time they were born, but, taking into consideration the trends of the era, history, and again, the maturing process.  But to give cart blanche, reverence, deference, weight, or charge to them, other than to take their thoughts under advisement, would be a huge ass mistake!  What qualities the Trump children for jack shit?  Scary . . . 

I didn't start practicing law, until, I was 40 years old, and all I did was save myself of 15 years of becoming mature enough, to handle and understand the law, not necessarily from, an intellectual and academic background, but, just from the fact, that, when most attorneys, graduate from law school, they have never been married, never purchased a home, have not done much, other than academic pursuit, under the protection and care of their parents!  I remember, going up against a few, punk ass, youngsters, representing, the banks, in a foreclosure, and me representing the home owner . . . and when these two pimple faced, under 30 years of age, did all kinds of not only unconstitutional shit to my clients, taking liberties, with their alleged, uncodified, power of the banks, which was so misplaced, wrong and untimely, I almost felt like taking their sorry asses, and kicking them the shit out of the conference room we were sitting in!  God, and they were probably, top ten, in their law school graduating class, and they were fucking dumb ass level in life, and understanding of the law, the totality of home ownership, propriety, and decorum!  I was so furious, I thought the deputy sheriffs or bailiffs on guard outside the door were going to come in a arrest me!  LOL! But, shit, they were stupid, and not on a legal sense, just in fucking immaturity!  I would rather have spit in their faces, than, spent one more minute talking to them . . . property rights, even for banks, only go as far as the law allows them, and they can't take more rights than they have, at a particular time in the legal process!

What are the qualifications, of the Trump, litter?  A background in construction? golf courses? does the new boob job, of Ivanka make her smarter?  In my father's book, the cops' book, it does . . . before the silicone Barbie look, she was just Trump's little girl, now, she is trying to present herself, and this sophisticated, almost dower, mature, woman, in what, her EARLY 30'S?  You gotta be shitting me!  I saw her signing autographs, and thought, what the fuck has that, little bitch done?  NOTHING!  And Melania, was cut out of the Trump family picture this morning?  She has been a top model, run her own company, and was, I understand pretty successful, and now she is being a good mother to Barron!  And she is not consulted?  But the dumb ass young kids are?  It must be a bloodline thing . . . the only people you are related to, but not blood relatives, is the person you are married to!  What, she doesn't have the Trump blood in her, so we devalue the wife, with a BRAIN?  The first picture, I saw, with the Donald, Barron, and Melania, one in the Trump home, showed proud daddy and son, mommy standing behind them, and her head was cut off in the picture?  What the fuck?  You will have a hard time, making me believe, Trump respects and loves, woman!  

And as for the TRUMP BRAND . . . FUCK MY FOUR KIDS ARE BETTER LOOKING, SMARTER, MORE SAVVY, BY FAR!  LOL!  Unlike, Ivanka, Chelsea, is home, with her children . . . also an adviser and involved in the Clinton Foundation with her father, former President Bill Clinton, doing good with her father, all over the WORLD, she is not pushed out into front and center, she is involved, as her motherly duties allow . . . who the fuck is taking care of Ivanka's kids?  There is a time and place for everything, and a woman, can do it all, but, there is a time and a season!  Sarah Palin didn't seem to know that one either, for all the Republican virtue and family values, why the fuck are all their women, who they hold up as examples or candidates, ignoring their motherly duties, in exchange for fame, TV time, face time, and exposure?  Shit, allegedly, Palin, had a baby, 6 months before she was asked to be V.P.? does that make sense to ANY SERIOUS MOTHER?  NO! 

The Whole World Needs to Be Concerned with this American Clown Ship of Trumps! or Drumpfs!  Their German Name!  Trump is a Flash in the Pan! the Hare . . . Hillary Listed Three Things World Leaders are Most Concerned About--If I Can Remember: (1) Global Economy; (2) Terrorist Attacks; and (3) a Trump Presidency in the U.S!  Get SERIOUS, WE HAVE THE AMERICAN REPUTATION TO UPHOLD . . . HOLD FAST!  SURE AND STEADY, CONSISTENT AND STRONG, IN HER TRAIL TO THE WHITE HOUSE!  I for one, will NOT stand for INCOMPETENCE AND KIDS RUNNING THE WHITE HOUSE! 

BIG BUSINESS: HOLYLANDS. SWAMP RITUAL. BADLANDERS, JUNE 27, $10. PEARL JAM: JEFF AMENT, BONGO & CREW ARE TRYING TO SET UP A FREE CONCERT IN MISSOULA, LOOKING FOR A VENUE LARGER THAN THE TOP HAT--I TOLD THEM TO DO CARAS PARK OUTSIDE--ANY CONNECTIONS, GET A HOLD OF PEARL JAM ONLINE! GREAT IDEA, GOOD BUSINESS, CREATIVE SOLUTIONS--LUNCH ON WHEELS, COOL & FUNKY FOOD TRUCKS GOING OUT INTO RURAL COMMUNITIES TO BRING YUMMY FOOD TO KIDS AND FAMILIES! THINK BIG! COPS SETTING UP TRAINING TO SAVE THEIR FELLOW OFFICERS FROM PTSD . . . WHAT ABOUT THE PEOPLE WHO HAVE PTSD BECAUSE OF THE COPS? LOL! MY FAVORITE FEMALE OFFICER AND HER MALE COUNTERPART, CAME TO THE POVERELLO LAST NIGHT AT ABOUT 9:45 PM TO STOP A FIGHT . . . ENTERTAINMENT IS ALWAYS FREE! MY DIET COKE CAN HAS THE LYRICS TO "GIRLS JUST WANT TO HAVE FUN" . . . AFTER MEETING THE COP CHICK THE OTHER NIGHT AT THE BREAK CAFE' WHERE I AM RIGHT NOW, I THOUGHT, I COULD HANG OUT WITH THIS CHICK! LOL! JUST MEETING HER, HAS LOWERED MY PTSD! MAYBE THE MYSTERY OF THE TALE OF TWO SISTERS IS UNRAVELING AND NOW WITH A FIRST HAND MEETING, I CAN BE ME, AND LIVE IN PEACE WITH OFFICERS, AND SHELLEY MY CLONE, CAN BE DISCOVERED AND ARREST, AS THE CRIMINAL SHE IS MASQUERADING AS ME FOR THE LAST 4 YEARS! I FINALLY GOT MY PHONE SET UP, THE STRIPPED DOWN MODEL, LOWER LEVEL, HOPING TO DITCH THE CLONE PHONE, ONLY TAKING ME THREE FUCKING DAYS AND ABOUT THAT MANY HOURS, I FINALLY GOT THE ACTIVATION SET UP AND THE UNREGISTERED SIM NUMBER REGISTERED--EVEN GOT TO MAKE A CALL TO MY OLDEST DAUGHTER, WHO HAPPY TO SAY IS MOVING IN HER NEW HOME TODAY . . . CONGRATULATIONS GRETA AND DALLAS! THE AMERICAN DREAM--DREAM IT, OWN IT! THERE IS NOTHING LIKE HAVING OWNERSHIP OF YOUR OWN PROPERTY! WITHIN REASON, YOU GET TO DO WHAT YOU WANT WITH IT: (1) IMPROVE IT; (2) BUILD A MAN CAVE IN YOUR YARD; (3) RENT IT; AND (4) SELL IT! IT IS NOT EVERY COUNTRY THAT HAS THESE RIGHTS--GOD BLESS AMERICA! THIS MORNING WHILE I WAS WAITING FOR THE BUS, A GUY, LOOKING MUCH LIKE THE YOUNG STUD I TALKED ABOUT YESTERDAY, WHO SHOWED UP IN MY DREAM AND SHOCKED THE SHIT OUT OF ME, NEVER ON THE RADAR SCREEN, RAN BY, THE CLONE THAT IS, AND I STARTED TO LAUGH, HE HAS PROBABLY HEARD IT THROUGH THE GRAPEVINE, THAT I HAD THE DREAM ABOUT HIM . . . DON'T WORRY, I MAY BE A PIT BULL IN THE LAW, BUT IN PERSONAL AFFAIRS, EVEN THE DREAM, BRUSHING MY HAND UP AGAINST YOURS, IS RISQUE FOR ME! I WAS RAISED IN THE ERA OF NEVER CALLING A GUY, AND HE BEING THE AGGRESSOR, AND THAT HAS STUCK WITH ME SINCE MY YOUTH, A LONG ASS TIME AGO! ANOTHER INTERPRETATION, IS MAYBE SAYING, YOU LOOK YOUNGER, DON'T BE AFRAID TO ENTERTAIN THE IDEA, OF YOUNGER MEN . . . I FIND, THAT THE NEXT GENERATION OF GUYS, SEEM TO BE INTO SMART WOMEN, NOT AS SHALLOW, AND WERE RAISED BY SAVVY SINGLE MOMS AND THAT IS TO THEIR BENEFIT! RELAX, IT I JUST A DREAM! LOL! THE PROBLEM WITH ME, IS THAT, I HAVE A TON OF ENERGY, AND THAT ALL PLAYS INTO THE AGE CONUNDRUM, MAKING ME SEEM MUCH YOUNGER THAN I AM. RIGHT NOW, I HAVE A FACE, THAT IS AN 9 OR 10, A BODY, THAT IS ABOUT A 3 OR 4, BUT A MIND THAT IS ABOUT A 13 . . . AVERAGING OUT ABOUT A 7 OR 8, BUT I CAN BE A STRAIGHT ASS 10! SO STARTING JULY 1, 2016, I AM ACTUALLY GOING TO TRY FOR A "10" BODY, WELL I BETTER BE MORE REALISTIC, AT LEAST ABOVE A '5!" BRINGING MY OVERALL SCORE AS A WOMAN, SOMEWHERE AROUND AN 8 OR 9 . . . ALWAYS AIM HIGH, THOUGH! LOL! GIRLS JUST WANT TO HAVE FUN!" NO DOUBT! MEN . . . WHAT THEY WILL LIKE AND LOVE, IN PRIVATE, IS TOTALLY DIFFERENT THAN WHAT THEY HAVE BEEN INDOCTRINATED TO BELIEVE THEY SHOULD BE ATTRACTED TO, AND IN THAT, THEY CREATE A QUAGMIRE IN THEIR SOUL, DATING, BEING SEEN WITH, OR HANGING, MARRYING, OR JUST LIKING, TO IMPRESS THEIR FRIENDS, THERE COP BUDDIES, OR FITTING STEREOTYPES OF WHAT IS ALLEGEDLY GOOD LOOKING OR SEXY, THEY DENY THEMSELVES THE RICHNESS OF AN ENTIRE EXPANSE OF SELECTION, AND IN THAT FUCK BOTH SEXES! WHEN I WAS A FRESHMAN AT BYU, THE MOST SHALLOW COLLEGE ON THE PLANET, 80% OF THE GUYS, DATED ONLY 20% OF THE GALS! THE FEW OF US, AND AT THE TIME, I DID FIT, THE STANDARD OF WHAT MEN WERE TAUGHT TO BE ATTRACTED TO . . . I LEARNED THIS FROM MY ROOMMATE'S BOYFRIEND, WHO WAS MORE THAN HAPPY TO DATE AND GO OUT WITH MY FRIEND BARBARA; HOWEVER, WHEN IT CAME TIME FOR HIS FRATERNITY PARTY, OR MORMON VERSION OF FRATERNITIES, HE ASKED ME BEHIND HER BACK TO GO WITH HIM . . . I WAS SO DISCUSSED, I NOT ONLY TOLD HER SHE HAD AN ASSHOLE FOR A BOYFRIEND, BUT SHE SHOULD DROP HIS SORRY ASS, ASAP . . . BUT I DIDN'T SWEAR IN THOSE DAYS! LOL! RETHINK BEAUTY, AND REMEMBER IT IS ONLY SKIN DEEP! IN CHOOSING YOUR EGO OVER HAPPINESS, YOU CAN ONLY FUCK YOURSELVES! YOU HAVE TO LIVE WITH THEM, AND YOU MADE YOUR BED, SO SLEEP IN IT! BEAUTIFUL MESSES, ARE NOT FUN! THIS MORNING, I WATCHED, MY TYPICAL "TRUE CRIME" EPISODES, "STALKED": "KISS OF DEATH" . . . I WROTE AN AWARD WINNING MANUAL FOR COPS AND PROSECUTORS, WITH CREATIVE MATERIAL IN IT, BECAUSE, I LEARNED SO MUCH FROM MY STALKER, AND WAS ABLE TO STUDY "ABNORMAL PSYCHOLOGY" UP CLOSE AND PERSONAL. HE ENDED UP GOING TO PRISON FOR 18 MONTHS, THANK GOD, FOR FORGERY, DUE TO THE FACT THAT HE WAS SO "OBSESSED" THAT HE COULD NOT WORK, AND TO LIVE STOLE HIS ELDERLY NEIGHBORS, CHECKS AND CASHED SOME! HE WAS RELEASED FROM PRISON, JUST DAYS BEFORE, I WAS TO GRADUATE FROM LAW SCHOOL, AND I WAS AFRAID I WAS GOING TO HAVE TO WEAR A "BULLET PROOF" VEST! HE CALLED, ME BLAMED ME FOR ALL HIS WOES IN PRISON, AND VOWED TO PAY ME BACK AND GET ME IN PRISON . . . SO HE IS BEHIND ALL THIS SHIT FOR THE LAST 16 YEARS? NAH, IT IS THE UNDERCOVER FEDERAL COPS I EITHER DATED OR MARRIED! COPS DON'T HAVE "BOUNDARIES" UNDER THE UNCONSTITUTIONAL PATRIOT ACT . . . SO THE STALKING GOES FROM PHYSICAL PRESENCE TO SURVEILLANCE, TO CELL PHONE STALKING AND CYBER STALKING ON COMPUTERS . . . THEY ARE GIVEN ACCESS, ACCESS, ACCESS, AND THE WOMEN THEY USE TO PAY YOU BACK, ARE GIVEN ACCESS TO TRY TO GET RID OF YOU TOO! I WANTED TO WRITE A BIT ON THAT, BASED ON THE SHOW I SAW THIS MORNING, AND GUYS DON't THINK YOU ARE ABOVE IT EITHER . . . IN THIS EPISODE, THE STALKED VICTIM WAS A BLACK MARRIED MALE, HAPPILY MARRIED WITH A NEW BABY, HE DROVE A LIMO, AND ONE NIGHT, HIS CUSTOMER, ASKED HIS YOUNG GUY TO TAKE HIM TO A STRIP CLUB, AND WHILE THE DRIVER WAS THERE, HE STARTED TO TALK TO A STRIPPER, AND THEY HAVE BOTH GROWN UP, IN THE SAME AREA, GOT INTO HER SITUATION, HOW SHE GOT ONTO THIS LIFESTYLE, ETC., HE WAS JUST BEING A NICE GUY, GAVE HER A RIDE HOME, AND IN THAT SHORT TIME, SHE STARTED TO TELL HIM, SHE WAS IN LOVE WITH HIM, AND PUTTING THE MOVES ON HIM, TO WHICH HE REBUKED BEING VERY IN LOVE WITH HIS WIFE . . . SHE STARTED TO CALL HIM, TEXT HIM, BOTHER HIM AT HIS WORK, STALK HIM AT HOME . . . HE WORRIED ABOUT HIS WIFE AND BABY, AFRAID SHE WOULD WANT THEM OUT OF THE WAY. HE WENT TO THE COPS, THEY DISMISSED IT AND SAID, HE WAS THE GUY, STRONG, SMART AND HE COULD HANDLE IT, SO HE TRIED, THE ONLY WAY HE KNEW HOW . . . HE WENT TO HER HOUSE AND CONFRONTED HER, SHE PULLED A GUN ON HIM AND SAID, IF I CAN'T HAVE YOU NOBODY CAN. HE CALLED HER BLUFF AND GRABBED HER HAND, PULLED IT TO HIS CHEST AND SAID, SHOOT! EVENTUALLY SHE STOPPED, BUT HER PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIOR STARTED TO KICK IN, AND SO WHILE NOT OVERTLY CALLING HIM, SHE GOT PISSED AND SHE KEYED HIS AUTOMOBILE, AGAIN HE WAS FURIOUS, FINALLY TOLD HIS WIFE, WHO HE DIDN'T WANT TO WORRY, BUT THEN WITH THE ESCALATION, AND BELIEVE ME, REJECTING AND PUSHING AWAY AN OBSESSED PERSON, JUST ADDS FUEL TO THE FIRE, AS I LEARNED . . . SO, DECIDING HE WAS GOING TO END THIS ONCE AND FOR ALL, HE AGAIN GOES TO HER HOUSE, ONLY THIS TIME WHEN SHE PULLS THE GUN, AFTER HE HAS TOLD HER OFF, AND IS LEAVING, SHE SHOOTS HIM ON THE BACK, AND KILLS HIM, AFTER HE CRAWLED TO THE STREETS, WHERE A MOTORIST FOUND HIM AND CALLED PARAMEDICS . . . HE DIED, THE GIRL COMMITTED SUICIDE AND LEFT THE NOTE THAT WAS OUT OF CONTROL, STATING THAT IF SHE COULD NOT HAVE HIM, NOBODY COULD . . . O.J. SIMPSON, MENTALITY, IS FUCKING SCARY, NOT ONLY FOR THE PERSON, BUT FOR ANYONE, LIKE RON GOLDMAN, WHO JUST RETURNED HER GLASSES FROM THE RESTAURANT HE WORKED AT! AFTER LEARNING THAT MY BEHAVIOR PRIOR TO MY OBSESSED BOYFRIEND, ONLY MADE HIM MORE DETERMINED TO COME ONTO ME, AND FORCE HIMSELF INTO MY HOUSE, CALLING ME NON-STOP, DITCHING IN AND OUT OF STAIRWELLS AT THE LAW SCHOOL, TAKING MY LAW BOOKS, TAKING MY TIME, EVEN BREAKING INTO MY HOUSE AND HIDING IN MY CLOSET AND REFUSING TO LEAVE FOR THE TWO WEEK CHRISTMAS VACATION, WHILE ALL MY ROOMMATE WERE ON VACATION, THEY EVEN CALLED THE COPS ON HIM . . . AND WHEN IT GOT TO BE, IT IS ME, OR IT IS HIM GOING, I GOT LUCKY AND HE GOT CAUGHT FORGING CHECKS, AND GOT ARRESTED! BUT DURING THAT TIME, I GOT SMARTER, AND WHEN HE GOT OUT OF PRISON, WITH ME IMAGINING, I WOULD WALK ACROSS GRADUATION, ACCEPT MY DIPLOMA, HE WOULD JUMP OUT OF THE CROWD AND GUN ME DOWN, I DECIDED A NEW APPROACH, AND SO WHEN HE SAID HE WAS COMING UP TO SEE ME, I JUST SAID, I WOULD LOVE TO SEE YOU . . . HE NEVER CAME. REVERSE PSYCHOLOGY? BUT WHATEVER, IT WORKED! BUT I LEARNED, PUSHING HIM, FORCING HIM OUT OF MY DOORWAY, JUST MADE HIM, STRONGER IN HIS RESOLVE TO VIOLATE MY BOUNDARIES AND FORCE HIS WILL AND WISH TO BE WITH ME! I LEARNED A LOT IN THE 18 MONTHS I COULD NOT GET RID OF HIM . . . WARNING SIGNS, FOR YOU TO CONSIDER IN YOUR RELATIONSHIPS, AND OFTEN, IF CONTINUED, CAN LEAD TO DATING VIOLENCE AND DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, IF THE RELATIONSHIP CONTINUES TO MARRIAGE! MINE DID NOT, THANK GOD!

HEY, HEY, STAY AWAY FROM RUN AROUND SUE!

Background and History of Paul My Stalker

Paul, would have been the last one, in the world, his buddies would have guess would ever become a stalker, much less, commit forgery, because, in his Brigham Young University, Mormon student ward, a guy hunting haven, of tons of good looking female students, was even voted, back when I was a freshman, by Playboy Magazine, as having the prettiest coeds, in the nation.  Everyone used to joke, that it was the 31 flavors of the dating world . . . one for each night of the month!  That was Paul's mantra, voted the Romeo or Mr. Casanova, of his ward, just months before I met him, at a singles dance, months after I became divorced, with him mistaking me for a 19 year old, rather than the 34 year old woman, with 4 kids, that I was, which proved to him, a big mistake, the dating king taken down by the Queen of Diamonds, or the Ice Princess, a whole other game than the young, sweet, spirits or the females going to college to get married, and there for one reason only, to bag a man!  SERIOUS!  You have to have that eternal partner, for time and all eternity, so dating is a huge part of college to Mormons.  I was not in the same market, already, somewhat taken by the male law student, who had previously, been, an English major, and crush, while I was married, up at Weber State University.  Like I said, yesterday, I am faithful, even before, I have a relationship, and Paul, hung out with all the law students in the ward, was friends with Mike, so, in the male ego, fragile as it is, I think, Paul, may have felt, a bit inferior on the professional level, but he ruled on the personal level, getting dates with every woman he tried for . . . until he met me!  LOL!

The Law School Boyz Club, Fascinated As Mr. Casanova, Is Sacrificed on the Alter, of Another God!  LOL!  Buddy What Happened to You?  Dude?

I had been a housewife and student for 15 year, got married too young, had kids, and was bored out of my gored, so, getting hooked up with another guy, at the time Paul met me, with me pushing him away, right off the bat, at a singles dance, three months after my divorce, not jumping into the dating scene at all, heading to law school myself, and never being the aggressor in any relationship, dream man, my friend from high school, who happened to still be single and going to this Mormon BYU ward, insisted, against my will, that I go with her, start getting out and about, and back into single life, which at BYU, or any singles world, is like going into the jungle without a guide!  I was so, not interested in going, that, I simply pulled my long blonde hair into a pony tail, and wore what I was wearing that day, and joined Cheryl to the outside spring dance . . . my divorce was final, I believe, by April, but me and my ex-husband, actually lived together, until September or the end of summer, when I started my high school teaching job, at Timpview High School, good friends and support systems for each other, both before and after the divorce, more like friends, now, with kids in common.  So, it was a bit dicey on the dating scene, but it also protected me and gave me a good excuse not to have anyone over to my house, still the marital property, convenient.

So, that night, Cheryl, and I go to the dance, she goes through the gate and hits the dance floor and her friends, but, Paul, looking like some preppy college student, cool hair, jet black, pink shirt, white shorts, and sandals, plus, wire rim glasses, is sitting on the fence going into the dance . . . he says, give me your name and number, or a dime, so I handed him a dime--new rejection, right off the bat, challenge is one, for this ladies man, scammer, hustler.  He put his leg across the gate, and blocked me, we talked for a minute or two, and he asked me to dance--he looked harmless--looks can be deceiving . . . how threatening can someone be wearing a pink dress shirt?  So, I thought, he seems safe, and funny, pretty handsome back in the day, used to be a model for hair stylists, so nice hair, and he can protect me from all the rest of the letches at the dance, that night . . . I still don't like to dance with some asshole I don't know, don't care to know, and prefer to just get out and boogie on my own, free styling, and getting into my body and the zone of the music.  I love to dance, hate doubles dancing, or partner dancing!  Blah!  But, that was back in the day, when, girls had not gotten smart enough to blow off guys and just have FUN!  LOL!  So, bugged as I was, I danced, later, we called it a night, and I left.  Never gave Paul my name or number . . . now that I think about it, he must have gotten it either from Cheryl or Mike, but, I don't think at that point, Mike was still around, and he was sitting for the bar exam.

Addicted to Sex . . . This is BYU!

I get a call, from Paul?  How in the hell did you get my number?  No, I am not going out with you!  I told him, I liked Mike, so I am hitting his ego on all cylinders, telling him, I like another guy, I am still living with my ex-husband, and no, I am not going out with him.  Now, the say, the way to a man's heart is his stomach, but now, they have even found that to be wrong, they will take an offer for sex over dinner.  I had cooked dinner for 15 fucking years and I was burned out, have never gone back to cooking since, so when Paul, eventually, offered to cook me dinner, I finally succumbed to the date, or whatever it was.  For some reason, this peeked the curiosity of all both Paul and Mike's law school buddies, some of which were staying around for the summer, until the bar exam, or employment started.  It may have been because I was older, divorced, or something threw dating me, into a gamer level, not as safe as the sweet spirits, looking for a husband before they graduate!  LOL!  I don't recall that the dinner impressed me much, spaghetti, FUCKING NSA, IS ALL OVER THIS ALREADY, ASSHOLES, NEW BOYZ CLUB, I AM THE KIND OF WOMAN YOU DON'T WANT TO TAKE HOME TO MEET YOUR MOTHER, STILL, AND I AM PROBABLY OLDER THAN YOUR MOTHER, BUT GAMY STILL!  LOL!

I was game for a little high school shit, making out, not even touchy feely, but, a bit of kissing, was always cool, and I used to make out with about three guys a day when I was a freshman or fresh woman!  LOL! While we were having dinner, however, I noticed two of Mike's law school, buddies, also friends with Paul, sneaking around cars in the parking lot of the apartment building they all lived in, and just laughed, curiosity got the cats?  All in good fun.  It was still day, because, I refused to go with Paul at night, so, while Paul was doing something, he told me to go into his bedroom . . . his drawer was open, and there was this book in an almost empty drawer, Addicted to Sex.  Being into both male, female, and abnormal psychology, and having studied much, my JoAnna Freud Sex Therapist side kicked in.  So, why would this guy, leave his draw open, so that it was in plain view, if he didn't want me to know, what he was addicted to, or to discuss the issue?  When he got into the room, I said, I noticed you book, what are you addicted to?  Masturbation . . . oh, do you want to lay back on the bed and tell me about it?  Yeah, make out, make out, so what is the problem?  I masturbate all the time.  Okay, what do you want me to do about it?  My mom, is a health teacher, she said, it is perfectly normal, and I think, the more you resist the desire, to do it, the worst it will get, so if you have hangups, or your Mormon bishop trashes you for it, don't worry, he is dealing with it himself . . . that is probably the first time, he started to relax and see it as a normal, healthy thing to do, so just do the best you can.  I thought, that was kind of fun, but, I am into Mike . . . the law school boyz club was still, ditching and dodging in and out of cars, trying to get view of me and Paul, but, I was scoping the scene, right off the bat . . . training for me and cops now?  LOL!

Dating King Goes Down In Flames, Boyz Club Demoralized!  Turning the Tables, Seems to be My Forte'

Sunday, rolls around, and I haven't given Paul another thought.  I was thin and dressed to kill, so, I decided, to get up and give the boyz, the same ones who were sneaking around the cars, a taste of a smart woman, probably smarter at that point than now, hopped up on scholarly pursuit, and having, started a master's degree on ancient scripture study, and this was, church, so I time to get to the pulpit and not necessarily bear my testimony, but show off my intellectual acumen!  LOL!  I was a high school debater, and English/Communications major, and I had done tons of public speaking over the years, so shining in this area, was not going to hard, having read all the ancient texts and manuscripts, on religion, I went for it.  Some of the guys took it as a challenge to male superiority and saw an insult, to their priesthood authority!  LOL! Many took it upon themselves, to tell my friend Cheryl, they didn't think, I belonged in a singles ward . . . sour grapes, and that continued to my neighborhood in St. George, and played mightily in the raid and rape of all my property, law practice, being a female, more financially set, with a better home, doing it all, single, kids, house, extra kids and relatives, parties and a law practice, that a 5 man law firm would have been proud to brag about doing.  So, this inflation of the male ego, is long and hard, to ignore, and so are hate crimes . . . shit, this was a unscripted testimony, masked as my, ah, ha, I am smarter than all of you, law students included, so don't you think differently!  LOL!  LET THE FUN AND THE GAME BEGIN!  LOL!

I talked to Paul for a minute, who told me he was so nervous to see me again . . . what impressed with your session on the couch? with JoAnna Freud? you should be!  LOL!  You would have to pay good money for that advice, the right advice, and his masturbation problems were abated, replaced with obsession, having hots for the teacher.  Paul admitted that, he ironed his pants, shirt and tie, took extra time on his hair, cleaned his finger nails, etc.  Telling an alpha female like me, is like dropping blood in the sea water, or dangling an injured toe overboard!  LOL!  My first, post-divorce, victim, this is going to be fun, given his previous status as the campus dating king, who loved the thrill of the hunt, but once the girls accepted his advances and dates, the game got boring, and he didn't even want to go on the date!  LOL!  But with me, in a constant state of rejection, that threw him off his game and he had to continue the hunt and pursuit, because, it was not coming, nor easy, and I was having fun pushing his emotional buttons . . . got a live one, I used to complain, that my ex-husband, was a man, with body parts and no passions . . . I had to go to the psychos for that!  And I got them, Zeke or Richard, was far too health for me, and far to normal, if there is such a thing!  What Zeke never reacted, this guy went ape shit over, so the more crazy he went the more brutal and fun it became for me, and I had a audience, all Mike's and Paul's friends, even better law school graduates, now I am getting to the level of guys, who might be able to give me a run for my money . . .  never did, never have, still looking?  The man eater!  POOR PAUL, never knew what hit him!  LOL!

What Paul Lacked in Intellectual Power, He Made Up for In Brute Strength, Which is Generally the Truth, Muscle is the Equalizer

The more I rejected Paul, the more he came onto me, but he was fun, and if he insisted or persisted, eventually, I would give in . . . generally, now that I lived on my own, food did it! and I have not changed one bit!  LOL!  I have not cooked since 1989 when, I got divorced!  Haven't missed it a bit!  Due to the sketchy and bizarre grounds of our relationship, the emotional roller coaster, the whole thing was fun, and interesting, and a trip into the psyche of a man, leaving me thinking, now, I wonder what he would do if I did this? or if I don't do that?  I guess I should not be too critical of the lab rat idea, the government has me trapped in, because, I did this to Paul, who had been trained as a quasi-psychologist, so he had the little blue book of diagnosis, and we would have fun, studying and analyzing each other, trying to put each other in one category or another.  I was trying to break up with Paul the whole time I was with him . . . just flames to the fire for an obsessed guy.  As law school hit, and my hours and days were taken up with classes, study and kids, Paul was put on the back burner, not to mention, I was in an arena with tons of guys, younger, but, they were game, generally rejected for being too naive and lacking experience in life, but, making out in the basement of the law school, after fighting over issues, was fun, entertainment, and causing conflict with some guys, even top 10 law students.  Law school was a sideline to my life.

I had this dark fascination, always, wondering, if, some guy, tried to rape me, could I fight them off, could I break their control, what would it look like . . . so, I used Paul as a Gennie pig for my experiments, as unrealistic as they were, because he liked me, and that made the difference.  As we got to know each other better, and he was probably the most fun guy I ever dated, Mr. InterPol and Brett were all witty, but Paul, was knockdown crazy ass fun, because, I never wanted him and tried to get rid of him, 24/7 while he tried to control me, or stay with me 24/7, amazing, personality, conflicts, conditions, and the creation of a creature, he didn't recognize in himself and I was not sure what to do with or how to handle, bringing, deep buried family secrets from his childhood, needs, connections, etc.  It was a fascinating relationship, all things considered, but once I hit law school, game over, I needed my space, and was not getting it, that led to the criminal behavior in Paul, what had been harmless before, became overbearing while I was engaged in other activities, to the point that I thought, this is either me or him!  The stalking, exploded, as I pushed him out of my life, crazy scared about failing, this good student of the past, kicked in and he was, again, faced with dealing with a new animal in me!  One time, he hid my law books and said, I am going to see how smart you really are . . . lightning fast, I punched him across the face, knocking a tooth from his mouth!  Paul had a black belt in karate, he had a six pack gut, he was a long distance biker, and in total shape, he said, I hit him harder than any karate kick, he had ever had.  I had never hit a guy, in my life, and I knew, we were out of control and this relationship needed to END, but that was not in Paul's plans.

Obsessive Behavior Always Escalates . . . Very Scary . . . As the Victim, and in Our Case, Some May Say that Was Paul, But I Was Far from Obsessed!

Shit, I lost all my notes from this morning and the Kiss of Death, Stalking episode, so I am going to have to go from memory of what happened to me, and what the guy in the TV crime was going through:

• the criminologist, said the perpetrator of the stalking and the obsession, starts to have a complete melt down, in nature, character, temperament, actions, focus, and they, really, are, almost beyond their own control . . . and that is what makes them VERY scary.
• like in the case on TV, the guy being stalked, and preyed upon, hits their wits end, and if law enforcement, or sanity, is restored to the relationship, that one person does not even want, never wanted, like in the dude on TV that ended up dead, and in my case, where I kind of endured it, could be talked into it for a while, thought he was fun, but, could have walked away from him at any time, making, it even more painful to him, and I feel somewhat responsible, unlike the guy in the episode, I felt that I could handle my life myself, but I was reaching a breaking point, and I have a pistol temper, that, I had long learned to control when I was a young girl, and I didn't like the ME he was bringing out in me, as I fought for, boundaries, and maybe this is where my anger against cops, surveillance, and spying on me come in, taking away every aspect of privacy I have from phone calls to computers, to doing fucking anything . . . that is a HIDEOUS feeling of INVASION!
• everyone has personal boundaries, space, somewhere they need, just to keep their sanity . . . stalkers take all that away from you.  Paul used to call me, non-stop, and at first before my roommates ratted me out, I wondered, how in the hell, can Paul, seem to call me the second I get back from classes, or from being with my kids?  My roommates, who called the cops on him, said, he doesn't know when you are getting home, he calls none stop for hours, until you get home, driving us insane!  In the movie, the stripper chick who was obsessed, started calling this guy, young father, at home, 10, 20, 30, 40 times a day, even his fellow employees, who he informed of the psycho bitch, started getting pissed, and answering the phone, just like my roommates, and the stalker, starts to engage everyone in you circle, wanting to control you!
• the poor guy in the Stalking show, did what you think you can do, and that is go talk to the crazy, talk some sense into them, get them to realize that they are busting up a family, or law school in my case, or fucking your job, getting you in trouble at your place of employment and may even cost you your job.  This is serious shit, and it is like you can't get these people to understand, you simply DON'T want the relationship!  Some gear, slips in their mind, that it is not about what you want, about your boundaries, about, your life, IT IS ALL ABOUT THEIR NEEDS TO BE WITH YOU, very selfish!  YOUR ARE SIMPLY AN OBJECT OF THEIR OBSESSION, reasonable or NOT!
• they say that attractions are based on chemical reaction, because, there had to be something more, involved . . . so University of Utah, professor, said, it really is in you chemistry, or your spit!  There is something chemical that takes place, but normal people, have control over this, and realize that, this person is not the only person, they can have chemistry with, and they need to RESPECT THE BOUNDARIES OF OTHERS, even if it is PAINFUL, and let them move on!  I believe this story with Paul, is much like a blueprint or template, for Brett and some future lovers and boyfriends, and cops are the worst, because they have ACCESS to you personal shit, your records, they can track you phone, you computer, fuck with every fucking thing in you life, as if, they are going to avenge the wrong you committed against them, when in reality, they are the one that is engaging in CRIMINAL BEHAVIOR!  In my case, Brett cheated, but, he acted like he was the VICTIM, so when a person gets obsessed, there is something in the brain, that, flips, the crazy switch, the loony toon, when, none of it makes sense anymore, all the true victim knows, who just did what rational and the reasonable man or woman would have done in the same situation, becomes and a front, worthy of death, revenge, by ANY MEANS . . . I was just damned lucky, Paul, went to prison, both for me and for him, he finally, moved on, got remarried, had a wife, a child, and let go . . . but, my fear is, what would have happened, if I had not, learned from my experience, and rejected him, just days before law school graduation, what if I had said, NO, you can't come see me . . . would everything have started OVER?

DON'T PLAY WITH PEOPLE HEARTS AND MINDS . . . YOU MIGHT GET CRAZY!  If you see signs of obsession, read up on it, get help, don't try to handle it yourself, because, even the obsessed person doesn't understand what is happening to them . . . this guy was the dating king, dated hundreds of women, and for some odd reason, through my actions, our chemistry, out of both our control, through the  games we played, could have ended up in a tragedy!  I am a risk taker, and I knew I was playing with fire!  I believe, that I have been with several serial killers!  Try one of those guys, obsessed with you!

1,000 People a Year are Murdered By Stalkers!

Don't Be One of Them

• there are male on male stalkers
• there are female on female stalkers
• and generally, there are male on female stalkers
• in rare cases, there are female on male stalkers!!!!
• DON'T GET CRAZY!  READ THE SIGNS!

TRYING TO CATCH YOUR LOVE, IS LIKE CATCHING STARS BABY! THE PRINCESS & THE FROG FAIRY TALE SEEMS LIKE THE ORDER OF THE DAY: (1) I WROTE ABOUT A CARTOON, BY KIRK, SHOWING A PRINCESS, HOLDING A FROG ON A ROYAL PILLOW, WITH A CROWN AND A "T" FOR TRUMP, AND A CAPTION THAT SAYS: KISS HIM AS MANY TIMES AS YOU WANT, HE WILL NEVER TURN INTO A PRINCE: LOL; (2) THEN I WROTE THIS WEEK ABOUT PRINCE HARRY WANTING TO COME LIVE IN AMERICA FOR THE SUMMER, HOPING TO HAVE FUN AND MEET A LAID BACK AMERICAN GIRL, WHO HE MIGHT WANT TO MARRY; AND TO CARRY THAT THEME FORWARD, THIS MORNING AFTER "TRAMP CAMPING" IT FOR THE NIGHT, I WENT TO THE POVERELLO CENTER FOR THE HOMELESS TO EAT BREAKFAST AND TAKE A NICE WARM SHOWER . . . OUT OF THE TWO HUNDRED FOR SO, DONATED TOWELS, THE DESK CLERK, HANDED ME A TOWEL, THAT HAD A HAPPY FROG WITH A BIG SMILE, SITTING ON A LILLY PAD . . . HE MAY NOT BE ROYAL, BUT YOU DO HAVE A FROG OUT THERE WHO LIKES YOU! LOL! FROGS HAVE LONG BEEN IN MY PERSONAL FOLKLORE OF BIZARRE LOVE CONNECTIONS . . . BEFORE ME AND MY 2ND HUSBAND WERE MARRIED, AND I WAS ALSO DATING ANOTHER GUY, WHO TOOK ME HIKING, AND WE HEARD TONS OF FROGS WHICH I LOVE, BUT I COULD NEVER SEE ONE THAT TIME IN THE MOUNTAINS, SO I TOLD MY OTHER GUY, THAT I WAS GOING TO MARRY THE GUY WHO COULD FIND ME A FROG! LOL! I AM A BIT BIZARRE TOO! TO SAY THE LEAST, BUT FROGS HAVE FUN CONNECTIONS FOR ME, HAVING GONE TO GIRL'S CAMP IN THE UINTAH MOUNTAINS, EVERY YEAR FOR 6 YEARS, HIKING LUSH GREEN MEADOWS, RIVERS, OVER LOGS, AND COMING ONTO HIGH COUNTRY PONDS WITH TONS OF FROGS! ALL THE WAY UP TO CAMP, I WOULD LOOK AT THE BEAUTIFUL MOUNTAIN SCENERY, AND DREAM OF HAVING A PICNIC BY ONE OF THE MEANDERING STREAMS, LAYING ON A BLANKET, MID-EVIL DRESS, FEEDING EACH OTHER GRAPES, LAUGHING, TALKING AND KISSING IN THE WARMTH OF THE LANDSCAPE AND SUNSHINE, WHILE THE REST OF THE GIRLS ON THE BUS WERE SINGING 100 BOTTLES OF BEER ON THE WALL! BLAH! BUT, I FOUND IT INTERESTING TIMING ON THE CUTE, SILK FROG ON MY TOWEL THIS MORNING, BECAUSE I HAD WRITTEN ABOUT "LEAGUES OF ANGELS, THAT I NEEDED A HERO" NOT REALLY THINKING OF A PRINCE, BUT, JUST SOMEONE WHO COULD NOT NECESSARILY RESCUE ME, AS MUCH AS, FUCKING BELIEVE ME AND ALL THE SHIT THAT I GO THROUGH, TO JUST LISTEN AND SAY, I GET IT, OR I CAN SEE . . . THE LAST GUY WHO DID THAT, ENDED UP DEAD, BUT HE WAS AN AMERICAN PRINCE, COWBOY, MARINE, BIKER, WHO GAVE HIS LIFE, TO GET ME TO THE UNITED STATES SUPREME COURT! I REMEMBER MEETING HIM, TELLING HIM ABOUT BEING POISONED WITH POISONOUS AFRICAN TREE FROG GUM . . . REMEMBER THE POISONOUS DARTS, THAT PYGAMMYS IN AFRICA USED TO SHOOT INTO THE NECKS OF MEN AND WOMEN, IN THE AMAZON, OUT ON JUNGLE EXPEDITIONS IN THE OLD TARZAN SHOWS . . . YEAH THAT SHIT . . . BUT MY CLIENT HAD BEEN I CORP MARINE OR INTELLIGENCE IN VIETNAM, AND HE SAID THE SECOND I TOLD HIM ABOUT THE FROG GUM HE BELIEVED EVERYTHING I TOLD HIM, BECAUSE THE MARINES AND INTELLIGENCE HAD USED THE GUM ON THE VIET KONG DURING THE WAR, AND THEY PUT IT ON THE STEERING WHEELS OF THEIR JEEPS, LIKE SOMEONE PUT ON THE STEERING WHEEL OF MY CAR! JUST THAT, AND FEELING UNDERSTOOD, IN THIS CLOAK AND DAGGER WORLD I LIVE IN, THAT IS SO RARE AND FOREIGN TO MOST PEOPLE WHO JUST CAN'T RELATE TO THIS SHIT, THAT HE DEFINITELY BECAME NOT ONLY MY HERO BUT MY ANGEL AND MY PRINCE! HE WAS ONE OF KIND, WHO BLED RED, WHITE AND BLUE, WAS TRUE TO HIS OATHS, AND DIED IN ACTION, DEFENDING THE WOMAN HE LOVED . . . WHEN JAMES ANGEL KENNEDY, WALKED THROUGH THE DOORS OF THE BUTTE RESCUE MISSION, HE REMINDED ME, OF THIS HERO, THIS MAN WHO ACTUALLY ENDED UP GETTING HIS WISH AS A MARINE, TO NOT BE TRAINED AS A KILLING MACHINE, BUT STUCK IN AN OFFICE AS INTELLIGENCE, WHEN HE WAS SENDING ENCRYPTED MESSAGES INTO THE BATTLEFIELD, KNOWING THAT THESE ORDERS WERE THE DEATH SENTENCE TO SOME OF HIS FELLOW MARINES AND OTHER SOLDIERS. THIS SAME MARINE, TURNED BIKER, WANTED TO GET SOME OF HIS FRIENDS, WHO ALSO SERVED IN THE MILITARY TO DO RECON ON MY HOUSE, IN ST. GEORGE, WHEN THEY WERE TRYING TO TAKE MY HOUSE! I WASN'T SURE WHAT THAT WAS BACK THEN, BUT I KNOW NOW! I CAN JUST SEE HIM, SNEAKING AROUND, IN CAMAFLAUGE, FACE PAINTED GREEN AND BLACK, SCOUTING OUT THE SITUATION FOR ME! LOL! SO, EVEN BEFORE, KENNEDY TOLD ME HIS NAME, A NAME CONNECTED WITH AMERICAN PRINCES, CAMELOT, AND THE KENNEDY CLAN, HE HAD STATUS WITH ME, JUST IN AND OF THE FACT, HE REMINDED ME OF THE COWBOY, MARINE AND BIKER, THAT I MOURNED HIS MURDER FOR 7 MONTHS, ALMOST BLOWING MY SUPREME COURT CASE! GENERALLY IN THE MORNING, I BOOK IT OUT OF THE POV OR MY TRAMP CAMP, A TERM I GOT FROM KENNEDY, GO SOMEWHERE TO WRITE MY BLOG, BUT, LIKE LAST SUNDAY, I STOPPED AT THE BUS SHELTER, ACROSS THE STREET, AND BASKED IN THE SUNSHINE, RELAXED FROM A CLEANSING SHOWER, JUST KICKING BACK, WATCHING THE BRILLIANT SUN STARTING TO WARM UP THE EARLY MORNING COLD, UNTIL THE I DRIFTED INTO A RESTFUL SLEEP APPROPRIATE FOR THIS DAY OF REST, SUNDAY. AFTER SO GUY CAME AN INTERRUPTED MY PERFECT SUNDAY MORNING, SAT BY IN THE BUS SHELTER, I DECIDED TO CONTINUE MY JOURNEY TO MCDONALD'S, NEEDING A DIET COKE, LIKE A HORSE NEEDS WATER! I HEADED TO THE WATERING HOLE, BUT FOR SOME REASON, I HIT UP THE CLOSEST WATERING HOLE, THE ZIP TRIP, FOR DIET COKE, TWINKIES AND KETTLE HONEY DEJON CHIPS . . . THEN WENT TO THE DANCE STUDIO, BEHIND THE GAS STATION, TO SIT AND AGAIN, ENJOY SOME PEACE AND QUIET . . . UNTIL SOME ASSHOLE, BROKE THE SILENCE OF THE MORNING, AND IN 200 PARKING PLACES AROUND THE STATION, CREEPED OVER TOWARD ME, AND POINTED HIS HEADLIGHTS FROM HIS TRUCK, RIGHT AT ME! SCREAMMMMM! WHAT THE FUCK . . . IF I WANTED COMPANY, I WOULD BE CLOSER TO THE BUILDING! I RAISED MY ARMS IN THE AIR, LIKE WHAT IS UP WITH THIS INTRUSION? HE WAS EITHER CLUELESS OR A HIT MAN! LOL! DUMB ASS! EVENTUALLY, MY FRIEND, PATRICIA CAME AND I WAVED HER DOWN, AS SOMEONE, I ACTUALLY ENJOY TALKING TO, ONE OF THE FEW! LOL, ELITIST SNOB THAT I AM! BUT, I TOLD HER ABOUT THE FUNNY FROG ON MY TOWEL, WANTING LEAGUES OF ANGELS, MY FUCKED UP CELL PHONE, SHE ALSO TRIED TO FIX, BUT REMAINING, IN "UNREGISTERED SIM" CARD STATUS . . . BUT, SHE HAS A NEW GUY SHE LIKES, POV LOVE! LOL! THAT STARTED THE 4 HOUR MARATHON OF GIRLS TALKING ABOUT BOYS! ENDING WITH KENNEDY AND STRANGE SHIT, THAT HAPPENED WITH HIM, EVEN CONNECTING HIM TO THE FROG ON MY TOWEL! LOL! THERE IS PSYCHIC CONNECTION, THAT HAS CREATED SOME UNEXPLAINED THINGS, FROM BOAT SHOES, OR BOOTS SHOWING UP TWICE, IN VERY OBVIOUS PLACES THAT I WOULD WALK, THEN GOOGLE, HAD MEN'S SHOES ON THEIR DAILY ART SEARCH ENGINE DESIGNS, RIGHT AFTER I TOLD MY FRIEND ABOUT THE DURANGO BOOTS, AND THE MARTHA'S VINEYARD, OR HYANISPORT BOAT SHOES THAT NOBODY IN MONTANA WEARS FOR SURE! THREE RINGS, STRANGE LOVE BOOKS, KNOCKS UNDER THE BED, NEW VIDEOS ON "BAD TIME TO FALL IN LOVE" --GRAND FUNK RAILROAD. OH, I FORGOT TO TELL YOU OF SOME OF THE FUN, CRAZY, INTERESTING, SEEMINGLY PSYCHIC PHENOMENA, CONNECT TO ME AND THE GUYS, I HAVE LIKED OVER THE YEARS. BACK TO THE MOUNTAIN FROGS AND SAYING I WOULD MARRY THE MAN WHO CAUGHT ME A FROG . . . THE HERCULEAN CHALLENGE? LOL! TEST OF THEIR LOVE FOR ME? LOL! CERTAINLY NOT THE MATERIAL GIRL! LOL! I AM THE MOUNTAIN GIRL, LOVE MY MOUNTAIN MEN! LOL! BUT, ONE DAY AFTER CHURCH, MY BOYFRIEND AT THE TIME WAS OUT IN THE GARDEN WHILE I WAS IN THE HOUSE, EITHER ON THE PHONE OR CHANGING MY CLOTHES TO JOIN HIM IN THE GARDEN WE HAD PLANTED TOGETHER . . . ALL OF THE SUDDEN HE CAME UP, AND TOLD ME TO SHUT MY EYES, AND OPEN MY HAND. I DID, AND HE PLACED THIS SLIMMY, COLD, CLAMMY THING IN MY HAND, AND I SCREAMED AND THREW IT ACROSS THE ROOM, AND THE OBJECT, I COULD NOT HAVE GUESSED, HIT THE WINDOW! SPLAT! SCREAM! WHAT WAS THAT . . . A LITTLE FROG, FLORESCENT GREEN WITH A PINK BELLY! OH, WHERE DID YOU FIND IT? THAT IS NOT INDIGENOUS TO UTAH? HE DIDN'T KNOW WHERE IT CAME FROM, BUT IT WAS THERE, AND GIVEN MY REQUEST FOR THE ACT OF VALOR FROM MY FUTURE PRINCE, WE WERE BOTH, KIND OF SHOCKED! TO SAY THE LEAST . . . I FIGURED HE SET ME UP ON THAT ONE, SO I DIDN'T MARRY HIM, AT LEAST FOR AWHILE! LOL! GOD WORKS IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS. BUT IT WAS A FUN WEEK, FILLED WITH FROGS, PRINCES, FROLIC AND FUN . . . TALES OF LOVERS PAST, PRESENT AND FUTURE! HANDSOME DEVILS! THE OTHER DAY, WHILE I WAS LOOKING FOR NEW WEB SITES, TO TRY TO FOOL THE NSA, SO THEY DON'T STEAL MY BLOG, USING SITES THAT ARE STRANGE OR DIFFERENT, I JUST HAPPENED TO SEE, "BRIDES" MAGAZINE, AND SO I TOOK A LUCKY SHOT AT "BRIDE.COM" TO SEE IF IT WAS A SITE, AND IT WAS HUGE ASS HITS, SO I TYPED IN "BRIDESMAIDS.COM" AND IT ALSO HAD HUGE ASS NUMBERS, IN THE MILLIONS IN JUST SECONDS . . . I KIND OF FREAKED OUT, HOPING THAT YOUNG BRIDES OR FUTURE BRIDES WERE NOT GETTING THEIR PREMARITAL ADVICE FROM ME! THE CHICK WHO BELIEVES IN MAGIC, LOVE, ROMANCE, FROG AND PRINCES! LOL! PLUS I DON'T HAVE THE BEST TRACK RECORD WITH 4 HUSBANDS! LOL! THEY SAY THOSE THAT CAN'T DO, TEACH! THAT WOULD BE TRUE IN MY CASE, BUT I HAVE LEARNED MORE FROM MY MISTAKES THAN MY SUCCESSES, IF THERE ARE SUCCESSES? LOL! I DO BELIEVE IN LOVE, STILL DO, AND MAYBE, MY FANTASIES OF PRINCES, FROGS, MOUNTAINS STREAMS, PICNICS, LAUGHING AND FEEDING EACH OTHER GRAPES AND BASKING IN THE DELIGHTS OF MOUNTAIN GRANDEUR AND LOVE, REACHING HEIGHTS, BREADTHS, EMOTIONS, THAT ARE SO PURE, SO TRUE, SO AMAZING, THAT, NOTHING COMPARES AND THE MEMORIES LAST FOREVER, MAYBE MORE REAL THAT REALITY, WITH NEW LOVERS . . . ONCE I HAD THIS DREAM, ACTUALLY TWO DREAMS, THAT HAD A HANDSOME, BRAVE, GORGEOUS, HALF BREED, MUSCULAR, ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL, GALLANT AND MANLY . . . BEFORE THIS HUNK DIED, HE HIT ON ME, WE KIND OF DANCED AROUND EACH OTHER, BECAUSE, I WAS TRYING TO BE FAITHFUL TO THIS ATTORNEY IN LAS VEGAS, A HEART THROB, WHO DANCED WAY WITH MY HEART, WHILE I WAS MARRIED, OF ALL THE HORRIBLE THINGS, SOMETHING I WOULD NOT WISH ON ANYONE . . . WE CAN'T CHOOSE WHO OUR HEARTS LONG FOR, BUT WE CAN CONTROL WHAT WE DO WITH THOSE EMOTIONS, AND AT THE TIME, MARRIED WITH FOUR CHILDREN, I FOUGHT THE FEELINGS FOR 5 FUCKING YEARS, NEVER ACTED ON THE EMOTIONS, UNTIL I FELT LIKE A FRAUD, CAUSING ME INTERNAL STRIFE AND CONCERN, MAKING LOVE TO ONE GUY, THE FATHER OF MY CHILDREN, AND BEING IN LOVE WITH ANOTHER MAN! I WOULD NOT WISH THAT ON MY WORST ENEMY, BUT, THE MORE I RESISTED THE EMOTIONS, THE WORST THEY GOT! I NEVER FELL, BUT THE RESULTS WERE THE SAME, WHETHER, I DID ANYTHING WITH HIM OR NOT, SIDE BAR, BUT, THAT IS THE REASON, I DIDN'T DATE THIS GOOD LOOKING AMAZING GUY, WHO ENDED UP, DYING INT A MOTORCYCLE ACCIDENT, ALMOST DESTROYING ME . . . BUT AFTER HE WAS DEAD, I HAD TWO DREAMS THAT, HAVE BEEN GUIDING LIGHTS, FOR SOME REASON, BUT AS I AGE, PERHAPS, I OUGHT TO ABANDON, BUT IN THE FIRST DREAM: (1) I WAS SITTING WITH AL IN THE HOSPITAL, AND HIS HEAD WAS BANDAGED BUT HE WAS FINE--THIS DREAM HAPPENED AFTER, HE WAS DEAD . . . BUT, I DECIDED AGAINST GOING TO HIS FUNERAL, AS APPROACHED THE FUNERAL HOME, WITH THE SCRIPTURE OF WHAT CHRIST SAID, "LET THE DEAD BURY THE DEAD" ON MY MIND, AND UNFAMILIAR WITH DEATH, I LEFT . . . BIG MISTAKE, BECAUSE, YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH DEATH, NOT AVOID IT OR DENY IT, LIKE I DID. BUT IN THE FIRST PLACE, I WAS SITTING BETWEEN TWO OF AL'S BEST FRIENDS, WHEN THE BISHOP ANNOUNCED OR TO ME IT WAS AN ANNOUNCEMENT, HE TOLD OF AL'S DEATH AND THANKED EVERYONE WHO HELPED WITH HIS ACCIDENT AND DEALING WITH FAMILY MEMBERS, BEING A STUDENT WARD AT BYU. I REMEMBER, THE SHOCK, DENIAL, AND ABSOLUTE, DISBELIEF, THAT THE GUY, SO PROTECTIVE, SO HANDSOME, SO COOL, WAS ACTUALLY DEAD? JUST A FEW WEEKS BEFORE THAT, WE HAD PLAYED VOLLEYBALL WITH A BUNCH OF PEOPLE, AND AS WE WALKED INTO A CONVENIENT STORE, TWO GUYS WERE CHECKING ME OUT, AND TO MY SURPRISE, AL PICKED BOTH OF THEM, UP BY THE NECKS, AND THREATENED THEM IF THEY EVER LOOKED AT ME LIKE THAT AGAIN, HE WOULD KILL THEM, OR SOMETHING TO THAT EFFECT. WE HAD JUST DANCED TOGETHER, SHORTLY AFTER THAT AT A CLUB HE WAS A BOUNCER AT, AND WE FLIRTED A BIT, BUT NOTHING MORE, OTHER THAN HE IMPRESSED ME, WHEN HE SAT BY ME IN CHURCH, AND INFERRED THAT HE WANTED TO TAKE ME OUT, AND IT TOLD HIM, I WAS DIVORCED AND HAD 4 KIDS . . . THIS "REAL" MAN, SAID, I DON'T CARE IF YOU HAVE 10 KIDS, I WANT TO BE WITH YOU. SO THAT IS THE SETTING FOR THE TWO DREAMS. DREAMSCAPE: (1) SO WE ARE IN THIS HOSPITAL HOLDING HANDS, AND I SAID, AL ARE YOU OKAY? I HAD BEEN ASKING EVERYONE, DID YOU KNOW AL IS DEAD? WHAT WOULD IT BE LIKE TO WORK WITH HIM AND THEN HE WAS GONE? OR I SAW AL'S TRUCK OR ONE LIKE IT, SO STRANGE TO HAVE HIM DEAD. THEN, MY EX-HUSBAND AND FRIEND, SAID, JO . . . DO YOU KNOW AL IS DEAD? THE DREAM WOULD INDICATE THAT I, IN FACT, KNEW, BUT WAS NOT DEALING WITH HIS DEATH WELL. AND IN THE DREAM, AL MORE CONCERNED FOR ME, SAID, "ARE YOU OKAY?" ALMOST SAYING, I KNOW I AM DEAD, IT IS YOU WHO IS NOT DOING WELL WITH MY DEATH, AND ARE YOU OKAY? THAT SECOND, I STARTED TO CRY UNCONTROLLABLY, GOT ON MY BIKE, AND JUST ROAD AND ROAD, CRYING HYSTERICALLY, NOT EVEN PLAYING ATTENTION WHERE I WAS GOING, UNTIL I CAME TO A PARK, WHERE I TOOK SOME PAPER OUT OF MY POCKET AND PENNED A LETTER TO HIS BEST FRIENDS THAT I WAS SITTING BETWEEN WHEN I FIRST HEARD OF THE DEATH . . . I WROTE THAT THEY WERE THE CLOSEST THING I COULD GET TO AL, AND I DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO EXPRESS MY SORROW, SO, I JUST WROTE THIS LETTER, AND SOMEHOW, WITH THEM READING IT, I WAS CRAZY ENOUGH TO BELIEVE THAT THROUGH "QUANTUM PHYSICS" OR SOME CHANNELING, AL COULD GET MY REGRET FOR NOT GOING TO HIS FUNERAL, OR TELLING HIS FRIENDS, WOULD DO SOMETHING, STILL BAWLING MY EYES OUT, WHEN I DELIVERED THE LETTER! I AM SURE THEY THOUGHT, I WAS INSANE, AND MAYBE I WAS, BUT I BELIEVE IN THE AFTERLIFE, AND THAT WE CAN HAVE COMMUNICATIONS WITH THE DEAD, AS IN THE CASES OF GHOSTS, SPIRITS, AND JUST FEELINGS. (2) IN THE SECOND DREAM, AL AND I WERE UP IN THE MOUNTAINS, ON A SUNNY, BEAUTIFUL MORNING, I THINK, THE SCENE WAS VIVIAN PARK, OUTSIDE OF PROVO, UTAH, WITH A CRAGGY MOUNTAIN, ISLAND OR PART OF THE LAND THAT JUTS OUT INTO A BEAUTIFUL LAKE, AND THE ROCK DOES SO IN A DRAMATIC NATURE . . . BUT WE ARE BOTH STANDING ON THIS BRIDGE, OVER THE WATER. I DECIDED, THAT SINCE AL WAS DEAD, ALTHOUGH HE WAS STANDING MY ME, AS HANDSOME IN DEATH AS IN LIFE, I FIGURED THAT, I COULD ASK HIM SOME QUESTIONS, SO, SINCE HE HAD BEEN TO HEAVEN, HE WOULD KNOW . . . SO, DOES "TRUE LOVE" EXIST? AND RIGHT AS I SAID THAT, THIS MAGNIFICENT UNICORN, SHINY AND GLISTENING, RISES MAJESTICALLY, OUT OF THE WATER, GOING IN A HALF CIRCLE, AND AS IT RISES AND FALLS BACK INTO THE WATER, GRACEFULLY, A MALE UNICORN, RISES, GOING AROUND IN A CIRCLE . . . AND AL, ANSWERED ME, SAYING, YES, REFERRING TO "TRUE LOVE," DOES EXIST, AND IT IS WORTH WAITING FOR. THEN THE DREAM WAS OVER. I STILL BELIEVE THAT . . . EACH RELATIONSHIPS, TAKES ME ONE STEP CLOSER, TO THOSE FEELINGS, AND I AM 61, BUT FEEL 35 YEARS OLD, I CAN SAY, THAT I HAVE COME CLOSE, BUT, I AM NOT SURE, THAT, I AM THERE YET. PERHAPS, IT IS MORE A PROCESS, WITHIN MYSELF, THAT, IS ALL ABOUT ME, PERSONAL GROWTH, AND WHEN I AM READY, IT WILL HAPPEN? RELATIONSHIPS ARE MORE ABOUT US, MIRRORS, PROJECTIONS, LEARNING, PERSONAL PERFECTION AND GROWTH . . . MARRIAGE IS THE SAFEST WAY TO TEST, EXPERIMENT AND GROW . . . I BELIEVE YOU CAN OUTGROW A PARTNER, OR THEY CAN BE TOO HEALTHY FOR YOU! LOL! YOU CAN ONLY LOVE SOMEONE AS MUCH AS YOU LOVE YOURSELF. MAYBE IT IS A PROCESS OF LEARNING TO LOVE OURSELVES? SO WHAT WORKED WHEN WE WERE 20 DOESN'T WORK IN OUR 50'S, OR MAYBE YOU GET LUCKY, AND FIND A MATE THAT IS FULLY ACTUALIZED, LOVES THEMSELVES, THEREFORE, THEY CAN LOVE YOU AND VISA VERSA? I AM STILL JUST FIGURING IT OUT! I KNOW THE SCRIPTURES, STATE, IN EPHESIANS, THAT A MAN WHO HATES HIS WIFE, HATES HIMSELF. THAT COINCIDES WITH MY THEORY, BUT, I BELIEVE, THAT YOU CAN ALSO, THROUGH LOVE, REACH A POINT WHEN NO MORE GROWTH IS GOING TO TAKE PLACE, AND WHILE YOU LOVE THIS PERSON, YOU, YOURSELF, STARTS TO DIE IN THE RELATIONSHIP, AND FOR WHATEVER YOU WERE BROUGHT TOGETHER, HAS BEEN FULFILLED, AND FOR FURTHER GROWTH, YOU NEED TO MOVE ON, TO A NEW CHALLENGED OR NEW PART OF DEVELOPMENT. THIS IS NOT TO BE AN EXCUSE, BUT A REVELATION, KNOWING THAT, CHILDREN, CAN FEEL, CHANGED IN THEIR PARENTS RELATIONSHIPS, AND MAY, AS MY SON, ELLIOT DID AT AGE 5, ASK ME AND HIS DAD, IF WE WERE GETTING A DIVORCE . . . NO, HONEY, WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT? NOT 10 MINUTES LATER, WE GOT INTO A DISCUSSION THAT LED TO OUR DIVORCE! AFTER TELLING OUR KIDS WE WERE GETTING A DIVORCE, CHRIS, ONLY ABOUT 8 AT THE TIME, BEING RAISED IN A VERY MODEST FAMILY, CAME OUT OF THE BATHROOM AND A BATH, AND RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIS SISTERS AND THE REST OF THE FAMILY, ALMOST IN AN ACT OF FREEDOM AND JOY . . . THREW OFF HIS TOWEL AND HE WAS BUTT ASS NAKED AND LAUGHING! LOL! ALTHOUGH, A DIVORCE IS TRAGIC, IT MAY ALSO BE FREEDOM AND THE HEALTHY THING TO DO? THE SONG . . . MAYBE SOMEDAY, BABY, WE'LL FIGURE ALL THIS OUT, SOMETIME WE MAY BE BETTER OF, MAYBE SOMEDAY WE'LL PUT AN END TO ALL OUR DOUBT . . . SOMEDAY WE'LL LIVE OUR LIVES OUT LOUD, AND BE BETTER OFF SOMEHOW? SOMEDAY WE CAN START ALL OVER AND LEARN HOW GOOD THINGS CAN GET? NICE SONG, NICE TIMING. I HAD A THIRD DREAM JUST THE OTHER DAY . . .

Dream, Two Nights Ago?

I tend to be very loyal, even to men, I just like, never kissed, never even touched, creating something out of nothing, but, with hope and enough to make me think of possibilities.  So, I like two, men, who have occupied my heart and mind, off and on, for, one three years and the other, Kennedy, for a year and a half . . . so this dream, was totally out of the dark and left me wondering, what the fuck was going on?  Was there a message, something I needed to learn, some growth, a time filler?  Anyway, last fall, this tall, dark, handsome, stranger from California, tripped through the Poverello, probably the only place, someone could, get my attention, but, even there, I discount, any attraction, generally, wondering if they are an undercover cop, or a fed, or an assassin, or bounty hunter, making me, take a strange and stand-offish, position, toward them, and even if they were just a normal guy, that suspicion is always, in the back of my mind.  So, this guy, who, is actually, very attractive, cute, fun to talk to, and just an over all cool guy, started to come to McDonald's, getting on his computer, at the same time, I did, in the mornings.  Eventually, we struck up a conversation, seeing each other around the Pov. or town.  He, was a stand-out, different, dressed better, not your average run of the mill, homeless guy, and after meeting him, talking to him, hitting it off, conversation wise and just, like friends . . . one day, he said, after working and banking his paycheck . . . I just feel like getting a hotel room with some chick, and fucking her brains out.

I started looking around for some girl, who, he might do this with, crossing myself, automatically, off his list of suspects . . . and, I looked in the kitchen and there was, this staff chick, I thought, might be more age appropriate for him, seeing, he is not, over late 20's or early 30's, and I would be shocked at that, if he were, knowing that guys often think I am, much longer than I actually am, and seeing someone like him, is like sleeping with my sons, even though attracted to him, those thoughts, vanish, and I would kill some woman, my age, for hitting on my two handsome, but young sons, so, I don't do anything, I wouldn't want someone to do to me, and so, I just kind of blow off  his conversation.  After that, we talked, always, say hi, sometimes, check on each other's status, or work, or just make small talk, but not much, after that initial day. Although, he told me of some, to me, sick, sex craze, that I was just disgusted at . . . different generations, and I kind of trashed, his connection with or knowledge of whatever it was, I must have washed that shit right out of my mind!  LOL!  I am pretty prudish!  My kids even laugh about, funny episodes from their youth, when, this or that happened, and they were more adult than their mother!  LOL!  The gap may have furthered, more by now.  This guy, generally has a job, and he is up early and so am I, we sometimes talk, but really nothing, for a very long time . . . making the dream even more troubling and puzzling for me?

Where the Hell Did this Dream Come From?

As I have said, dreams are warnings, instructional, informational, insightful, and give us insights to our psyche's, and I have always paid attention to them, as I have written and will often, when I have one that sticks, write about it, generally with some, idea of what, the dream, might represent, what even God, might be telling me through this dream.  Now, I will admit, that a week or so ago, and I have been gone from the Pov, so my contact is limited, but I think his is too . . . plus he was saving money, so he could do this or that, and maybe go back to California, but the last time I saw him, he walked by, and he has always struck me, as handsome, interesting and cool, just doing his thing, figuring life out, and saving money, which is great.  But, as he walked passed, I thought, too bad he is so young, because he is hot and a stud, and seems to have his shit together for a younger guy, which always, leads me back, to, is he undercover?  He is the perfect type. But, that happened, probably, weeks ago, so?  The dream was simple, no big deal, other than, the context and him, just being in the dream?  I puzzled over this for an entire day?  I wrestle with dreams, especially, stuff like this, when, it is so out of the blue, that, I can't figure out what the hell, or where the hell this would come from?  Song, when love puts you through the fire, when it puts you through the test, nothing, does it like time, love and tenderness.

The dream, was low keyed, simple, real time, and so ordinary, but so, weird.  In the dream, I don't even know his name, nor do I ever think I asked him what it was . . . again, strange.  But, we are in the dining area of the Poverello, and he often, worked behind the counter, helping in the kitchen, which is cool, because, you work long hours, and most people, don't want to work there, and he seemed to be always, volunteering, even on top of his normal chore, and unlike me and others, who want to avoid the work, case in point, I love sleeping out, because, I don't have to check in, come in early, all about freedom for me, and I like to sleep in overflow, so I don't have to get a bed, which, means you have to have a chore!  LOL!  I have always done my jobs or chores, but given a choice, I would prefer to ditch out!  LOL!  So, here is this guy, gorgeous, sometimes works, all day, leaving at the early morning hours, and he is always, doing extra stuff?  What the hell for?  LOL!  But, I used to joke with him, tease him about serving or doing the dishes, or taking out the garbage . . . I have convinced myself, that he deserves better than me!  LOL!  So, in the dream, it was simple, I remember, seeing him, walk by me, and the thought, came to my mind, Why not?  Slow response to him, wanting, to go to the hotel and fuck, someone's brains out!  LOL!  I'm not getting younger, and going with some guy, I know, will never develop into anything, has proven to be, the best thing in the world for my self esteem, sexually, because, there are no, emotional expectations, and I know, nothing will happen, and there is not risk, just, a base attraction, maybe sex, maybe not, and at this point, I am a great deal for some young stud, in a holding pattern, like I am . . . committed to nothing and nobody, so WHY NOT?

IN TRUE JUNIOR HIGH FASHION, MY EMOTIONAL LEVEL . . .

God, does have a sense of humor, I just typed "IN" and, it didn't end up where I wanted it to be, but, the cursor, jumped up to the words, out "IN" of the blue!  LOL!  This dude, reads my blog, sometimes, and it is as if, he is saying, I am IN!  LOL!  I have a lot of younger guys, hit on me, and I shut them down, ASAP, and maybe, God is saying, look, there is difference between just having sex, and having sex with love, even if it is not going to go anywhere, in the long run.  I found this to be true with my two black, lovers, the most healthy sex, I have had, and I would say, I would put this in the same category.  I figured, that nothing would come of the relationships, and I was just curious, interested, relaxed, and encouraged them to get married and have kids, but enjoyed their sex and their company, in the mean time!  That may be racist, but, hey, I am from Utah, had never really been around, blacks much, met both of them, within three days, and loved the hell out of both of them!  LOL!  I was completely honest with them, just like I would with this guy, seeing, nothing in the future, but, I could see, living with him, getting an apartment, getting to know each other, aside from sex, and having someone, I like, think is good looking, and if sex, happens, who is complaining!  LOL!  Sure as hell not me!  With both of the black dudes, neither had been married, nor had kids, and I was 19 years older than the one I fucked the most!  LOL.  Howard, didn't like the fact that I was seeing both of them, but, totally honest and in the open, about, whatever they wanted to know, strongly encouraging them, but loving them too.  Howard, was more, like, the type of husband, I want, than any guy I had ever been with!  LOL!  But he was way sensitive.  Both from good families, professional, fun, and something any girl would want!

I found the sex to be mutually, beneficial, and would not have done it, if I felt that it hurt anyone, and there was definitely love involved.  Miles could not have got me to Spokane or Seattle, on my own dime, just to have sex, but he always needed help on, this or that legal issue, and the sex, just seemed, part of it, for some reason, and we could not get down to business, without, first getting that minor detail in our relationship, the mutual attraction for each other out of the way, first!  Both, Miles and Howard, wanted to live with me.  I could not see the point.  But, with this other guy, it is hard to get together, first and last months rent, plus a deposit together, and many people at the Pov. team up, and help each other, get their shit together, and live together . . . I think it would be fun!  I would much rather have a male roommie, than a female!  That seems more normal to me . . . years of marriage, shared bathrooms, and if nothing happens, well, that is okay, and if it does, so be it.  I remember, one time after talking to Miles, that his sex cleansed me, for some reason, and I didn't feel like I was breaking God's commandments, in fact the opposite, because, I know scriptures, that say, all things are pure to me, it is you clowns, who assign cleanliness or uncleanliness to whatever!  Romans: 14:14.  Miles and I would go months, and not talk, and then, out of the blue, one of us, would get a hold of the other, totally, missing each other, horny, just loving talking to each other, was sexual, and turned us on.

No fail, one of us, would even put sex in the terms of, I need some sexual healing!  And we both meant it . . . it was healthy, loving, good, kind, loving, and generous.  The two great commandments are, to love God, and to love your fellow man, so I did, took that one to heart, love them all!  LOL!  No, seriously, I knew he loved me, and I think, he would say, I loved him . . . it was just a different kind of love, different kind of sex, and there was nothing selfish about it, is was like, just part of the relationship.  Eventually, Miles took my advice and got a girl who also wanted a baby and he called me and said, we are co-parenting, and we are pregnant.  He thought he could carrying on a relationship with me?  NO, the mother of your baby, needs you, baby comes first, then the needs of the mommy, then daddy, and I am out of the picture.  The baby will be, actually, two years old, I think, in September . . . and, Miles, was so excited the last time I talked to him, they had picked out the name, and I am sure he will not regret that decision and the trade off, ever.  Mommy is sick and has some, terminal, ghastly disease, and he will likely raise the child alone, but, during that time, I kept seeing this ad, with a black dad, with a young son on his shoulders, smiling, ear to ear, happy as a clam.  Miles has a 168 I.Q. and I told him, the imbeciles should not have kids, but the smart people need to bless the earth with children!  Howard, showed up in Kalispell, I believe, either last summer, wanting to take me to dinner or a movie, but I was busy, taking down the two former attorneys generals of Utah, and typed for 16 hours straight . . . finally, he gave up and left!

The nice thing about men, is that they can have babies, forever . . . Howard was 56 at the time, so, he is probably, 58 or so, now, never too late and he would make a perfect husband and daddy; I thought, it would be selfish, of me, to date him or Miles and deny them the opportunity of having children, or marriage, and that was all done in LOVE!  I would assume, that if I got with this guy, or not, whatever happened, would not be by way of relationship, but, sex would be an expression of love.  I can see that.  For all I know, both guys I like, could be married, and either they will stay with their wives, girlfriends, or, getting with either of them will take some time.  I thought, perhaps, this is something to get me moving in another direction . . . like I said, loyalty, or love for that matter, is something that comes from inside me, and I tend to be faithful, before a relationship even happens, and I hold on, long after, there is no hope . . . and most likely, I have nobody to blame but myself, didn't play my cards right, and time tends to take care of everything, or makes our decisions for us.  Kennedy tried a bunch, and I resisted, because of this or that, was worried about who he was or was not, and guys who are good, generally don't last long, and in modern society, sex, often, seems to be the connector, with guys, and I am old fashioned, and who is to say who is right . . . timing is everything, even God, I felt, told me to act, and I was too hung up on this or that, so I didn't follow the promptings, fucked up, on this or that, wanting to wait, and guys don't tend to do time, no sex well, so, I made the choices and decisions I did, and I may regret them, or I may be glad, down the road.

Like in the dream with my dead friend, Al, the one with the two unicorns, male and female, true love, does exist, and it is WORTH WAITING FOR!  I have even wondered, believing in life after death, that Al himself, dead, but communicating through dreams, that perhaps, given my idealism and romantics, real guys are TOO real for me, and maybe, Al is waiting, or Allan, the cowboy, the Marine, the biker?  Mormons believe that you can be married for eternity, and that is a hell of a long time, so taking my time, doing it RIGHT, is critical to me . . . all I have EVER WANTED, since those early days going to girls camp, is ONE GREAT LOVE!  All the money is bull shit to me, take it, have it, but real love, I will wait forever for one chance, one day, one love . . . I have served God and Man all my life, for one end, to find the LOVE OF MY LIFE!  I am getting old GOD!  LOL!  STILL SINGLE, STILL FREE, AND STILL UNBROKEN!  SMILE!  Maybe to reach personal perfection, I need 5 more partners?  LOL!  I can deal with that, God has been good so far . . . dream boy, is HOT!  Time for a NEW adventure, NEW growth, NEW ideas!

I forgot the last part of the dream . . . in the dream, new young hot lover boy, just kidding, walked by me, and I reached out, and kind of brushed my hand, against his.  And that was the end of the dream?  I may never see him again, or I may, but I will probably be too, weird to do anything!  God will have to talk to him, subliminally, for me, or nothing will get done!  But, I will ask him, about the living situation . . . actually, since I met that pretty female cop, it looks like she told the male cops to back off, that I am exactly, who I say I am, the attorney, the blogger, the lobbyist and bad ass con law chick!  THANKS!!!!!  I had the dream the night I talked to the chick cop, so, thanks for that too!

I need some guy to inspire me to exercise and get in shape . . . just the male presence will help . . . I can get hot too, 6 months! or maybe we can work it off the fun way!  LOL!

LEAGUES OF ANGELS! I NEED A HERO . . . BUT I FEAR IT WILL NOT COME. I AM DROPPING MY END OF THE TUG-O-WAR ROPES. I HAVE FOUGHT THE GOOD FIGHT, LOVED MUCH, PRESERVED LIVES . . . TIME TO LET EVERYONE FALL ON THEIR ASSES! FUCK THE DAMNED CELL PHONE. I DON'T FEEL LIKE GETTING TOGETHER UP IN GLACIER NATIONAL PARK. I NEED SOME TIME TO RECOUP. TIME TO REJUVENATE. TIME TO THRIVE AND ENJOY BEING ALIVE. THIS WARRIOR IS LAYING DOWN HER SWORD. HAVE AT IT . . . SEE THE MOVIE "TRUE LIES" 1994 . . . SAYS IT ALL!

WHISKEY SLOUGH! SEE NO EVIL! GOOD DEEDS PUNISHED! I WENT TO WALMART TODAY, AND PURCHASED A NEW CELL PHONE, STRAIGHT TALK WIRELESS, LG 329G, SERIAL # 840352391071550351, PLUS A $30 ALL YOU NEED PLAN, ON MY WALMART MONEY CARD, ENDING IN #8599, FOR $44.84, 06/18/16, AT 13:27:58. I ASKED THE TECHNICIAN AT THE PHONE AND ENTERTAINMENT SERVICE DESK, AND TO GIVE ME MY OLD PHONE NUMBER, 406.218.1777, WHICH HE DID. HE TOLD ME TO WAIT AN HOUR OR SO, AND THEN TO TURN ON THE PHONE . . . I DID, AND IT SAID, THAT I HAD AN "UNREGISTERED SIM" CARD--SIM #840352391071550351. I GOT ON LINE AT STRAIGHTTALK.COM, AND TRIED TO "ACTIVATE" MY NEW PHONE, IT SAID I WAS SUCCESSFUL? BUT NOTHING, UNLESS I HAVE TO WAIT AN HOUR? I THEN TRIED TO "REACTIVATE" MY SERVICE, THINKING THAT SINCE I WANTED TO USE MY OLD NUMBER, THAT PERHAPS, I SHOULD REACTIVATE THE SERVICE? I GUESS THAT I HAVE TO WAIT AN HOUR OR SO, THEN TRY. BUT LAST TIME, I GOT A NEW PHONE, USING THE SAME NUMBER, THIS ONE, THE PHONE WAS NEVER ACTIVATED WHEN I BOUGHT IT . . . SOME GUY CAME IN AND SET IT UP FOR ME, BUT HE WAS ON THE PHONE FOR AN HOUR, SEEMINGLY GIVING TONS OF CODES AND NUMBERS? I HOPE THAT THIS IS NOT THE SAME, WITH AN "UNREGISTERED SIM" CARD, THAT IS THE THING THAT THE FBI OR NSA CAN TRACK, SO I AM CONCERNED, HOPING THAT, WITH A NEW PHONE, NEW SERIAL NUMBER, NEW REGISTRATION NUMBER, COPS COULD CLEARLY SEE, THAT THESE FUCKERS, HAVE BEEN RIDING "PIGGY BACK" ALL OVER ME . . . WHENEVER I GET SOMETHING NEW, WHATEVER IT IS, GOES THROUGH THE SAME PATTERN: (1) LIKE THIS PHONE, I BUY SOMETHING, TRYING TO GET SOMETHING THAT IS DIFFERENT FROM THE FUCKING LEACHES, DOUBLES, BITCHES, BASTARDS WHO ARE SUCKING THE VERY LIFE OUT OF ME, WITH EVEN THE MOST SIMPLE SHIT LIKE A NEW, CHEAP $14.99 PHONE, FOR GOD SAKE, CAN JUST GO EASY, BUT IT NEVER DOES; (2) THE MOB OR THE FEDS, OR THE SUPER MOB, THEN, DOUBLES UP WITH ME, ACTING LIKE THERE IS JUST ONE PERSON, WHEN IN REALITY, THERE CAN BE ANYWAY FROM 1 TO 6, RIDING ON ANYTHING FROM MY PHONE, TO MY COMPUTER, TO MY CASES, TO MY BLOG, TO WHATEVER, EVEN DOUBLING UP ON BEING A MOTHER TO MY KIDS AND A GRANDMOTHER TO MY GRANDKIDS! (3) SO IT APPEARS THAT, THERE IS SAY, ONE BRAIN, AND TWO PEOPLE CLAIMING OR GETTING CREDIT FOR WHAT I OWN, OR WHAT I DO, OR WHAT I PRODUCE . . . THEN; (4) GIVEN THE CONNECTIONS THROUGH THE FBI, CIA, NSA, MORMON CHURCH, FAMILY, MOB, THE BITCHES OR BITCH, DEPENDING ON WHAT IS BEING TAKEN OVER, THEN MAKES A POWER MOVE, TO TAKE OVER WHAT I STARTED, LIKE THIS PHONE NUMBER! THESE FUCKERS HAVE BEEN FIGHTING TO GET THIS FOR AT LEAST A YEAR AND A HALF! (5) SO WHAT WAS ORIGINALLY, MINE, IS MUSCLED AWAY THROUGH THEFT, POWER TOOLS, ACCESS, 23/7 SURVEILLANCE, SO THAT WHEN THERE IS AN OPPORTUNITY LIKE THIS, TO STEAL, KNOWING THAT I WOULD HAVE TO GET A NEW PHONE, AFTER LAST NIGHT, NOT BEING ABLE TO RETRIEVE MY CELL PHONE BATTERY, THAT WAS MOST LIKELY TAKEN AND REPLACED WITH THE CLONE, OR A DIFFERENT ONE ALL TOGETHER, SO, THAT MY CONTACTS, KIDS, TEXTS, ARE NOW, SAFELY IN THE LIARS HANDS, RATHER THAN BEING IN MY CUSTODY, AS THEY HAVE BEEN, SO THAT, MY TRIP, LIKE TO SALT LAKE CITY, UTAH, THE WEEKEND OF APRIL 22 TO 24, LOOKS LIKE RACHEL, THE GOVERNMENT OR WASHINGTON, D.C.'S ME OR MOTHER, APPEARS TO BE THE "TRIP PLANNER" RATHER THAN ME, THE "REAL" MOTHER, CELEBRATING ELLIOT, CONNECTING THE BANDS, PARALLAX, GOD'S REVOLVER, MARALOKA, THE DITCH & THE DELTA, WORST FRIENDS (EXTENDED FAMILY) BANDS! WHICH BRINGS IN EVERYTHING ELSE, CASES, BLOGS, WATER COMPACTS, LEGISLATION, RESUME HISTORY, ETC. THAT HAVE ALL BEEN ROBBED YEARS AGO! ELLIOT MAY WANT TO ALLOW THE THEFT OF HIS MUSIC IF HE WANTS, LIKES BRETT, OR WHOMEVER, BUT I AM NOT GOING TO ALLOW ANY STEALING OF ANYTHING OF MINE, REGARDLESS OF WHAT MY KIDS HAVE DONE, OR WHAT THEY MIGHT BE . . . THEY ARE ALL ADULTS, ALL RESPONSIBLE FOR WHATEVER THEY DO, AND I AM NOT WILLING, ANY LONGER, TO CUT THEM SLACK FOR A SPOUSE OR A LOVER, WHO LIES, ABOUT WHO I AM, OR WHO MY CHILDREN'S PARENTS OR GRANDPARENTS ARE! STAND BEHIND ME--PROTECTION; STAND NEXT TO ME--RESPECT; STAND AGAINST ME--NO MERCY! I HAVE GONE THROUGH TOO MUCH, TO LOSE ONE FUCKING THING ANYMORE! ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! I WILL NOT GO DOWN, IN THE INTEREST OF LIES, EVEN IF IT COMES FROM MY CHILDREN OR THEIR PARTNERS!!!!!!! FUCK THEM ALL! I AM TO THE POINT, THAT, ALL BUT MY LIFE HAS BEEN TAKEN, AND I AM NOT GOING THERE! WE WILL ALL BE HELD LIABLE FOR OUR CHOICES AND THE CONSEQUENCES OF THOSE CHOICES, THAT COULD BE PRISON, FOR PERJURY! THAT CARRIES A SENTENCE OF UP TO 25 YEARS, SO IT THEY WANT TO GO THERE . . . THEY CAN, NOT MY FAULT, IF MY CHILDREN CANNOT READ, SEE, AND BELIEVE WHAT THESE FUCKS HAVE DONE TO ME, AND CONTINUE, EACH AND EVERY SECOND OF EVERY FUCKING DAY, THEN FUCK THEM! ALL I DID, WAS GOOD DEEDS, WHAT I THOUGHT WAS IN THEIR BEST INTEREST, AND TRIED TO PROTECT THEM, UNTIL THEY COULD PROTECT THEMSELVES . . . NOW IT IS UP TO THEM! WHY THE FUCK, COPS HAVE NOT MATCHED DNA, IS YOUR CALL, I KNOW IT IS BECAUSE THEY ARE ALL ON THE TAKE, THE SHAKEDOWN, BECAUSE, THAT IS THE FIRST THING, ANY GOOD COP DOES, TO FIGURE OUT, FAMILY TIES!

JUST GETTING EVIDENCE ON THE RECORD!

JoAnn S. Secrist, J.D., Attorney for the OUTRAGED!  This is pure bull shit . . . trying to block me from a $14.99 phone?  Steal billions, and this?  SHIT!  Anyway, I will BEAT THESE FUCKS, if it is the last thing I do . . . I am sure, once the fuckers, got their hands on my cell phone battery, which doesn't have much on it, they thought, now, they have finally arrived, they are finally me, after 16 FUCKING YEARS TRYING TO GET THEIR FUCKING LITTLE HANDS ON EVERYTHING, but if you set a trap for someone, you will fall for it themselves!  I have found that to be 100% true, eventually, they will get caught, for this shit! Anyway, I am sitting on my computer, writing this, after eating breakfast, watching a few true crime episodes, and trying to get my phone going.  NOW, after registering my sim, they are saying that my keypad is locked, so I have to figure out how to fix that!

MANIPULATIVE, INSANE, LOSERS!

AFTER 16 FUCKING YEARS, GET YOUR OWN FUCKING LIFE . . . I AM NOT GIVING UP MINE, AND I AM THE WARRIOR ALL OF YOU ARE NOT!

SO, FUCK YOU ALL!  LOL! 

RAZED & CONFUSED. SEX MACHINE. LIVING IN AMERICA --JAMES BROWN. THE OTHER DAY WHEN I WROTE ABOUT PRINCE HARRY COMING TO AMERICA, I THOUGHT OF THIS SONG, ONE OF MY FAVORITES, "LIVING IN AMERICA" FROM ROCKY 4, BECAUSE IT COVERS AMERICA, BIG ASS CITIES IN AMERICA, THE COLORS AND FLAVORS OF THE DIFFERENT NATIONALITIES, TYPES OF EMPLOYMENT, THE SCENERY, AND OF COURSE, LAS VEGAS IN ALL ITS GLITZ AND GLAMOUR, BOXING, ONE OF AMERICA'S FAVORITE SPORTS, CELEBRATING, LIVING IN AMERICA. I THOUGHT PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE, DONALD TRUMP, SHOULD COME DOWN OFF THE "TRUMP TOWERS" AND MEET AMERICA, SEE WHAT "LIVING IN AMERICA" IS ALL ABOUT! LOL! FBI DIRECTOR SCHOOLS TRUMP, TELLING HIM THAT MUSLIMS IN AMERICAN COMMUNITIES ARE "KEY" TO FINDING "RADICALIZED MUSLIMS"--DIRECTOR JAMES COMEY, IS WELL AWARE THAT RACIAL PROFILING IS UNCONSTITUTIONAL; HOWEVER, PROFILING "RADICALIZED" BEHAVIOR IS NOT! THAT GOES FOR ANY OTHER KIND OF BEHAVIOR THAT IS A THREAT TO THE CITIZENS, LIFE, LIBERTY OR PROPERTY, OF THIS COUNTRY! REGARDLESS OF RACE, RELIGION, COLOR, CREED OR SEX . . . WE ALL HAVE A FUCKING RESPONSIBILITY, TO STOP VIOLENCE IN THIS COUNTRY, WHETHER IN OUR HOMES, ON OUR STREETS, IN OUR CHURCHES, SCHOOLS, OFFICE BUILDINGS, OR ON THE NATIONS CAPITAL! EDUCATIONAL CAMPAIGNS, SEEM TO WORK BEST IN THIS COUNTRY OF THE FREEDOM LOVING PEOPLE . . . SO WHY DON'T WE ALL START, NOW, WITH A "ZERO TOLERANCE FOR VIOLENCE OF ANY KIND!" OUTFRONT. CORRODED TRUST. EXPOSURE. BOBBING FOR BAD APPLES . . . DEBUG THE POLICE; HAND OVER YOUR BADGES AND WE WILL FIND A BETTER WAY TO I.D. BAD COPS! HANDMADE APPLE FRITTERS ARE A BEAUTIFUL THING. FULLY LOADED. MONEY SHOTS. UP IN SMOKE. PLAYING CHICKEN. BELIEVE HER OR NOT. MIXED MEDIA. WAX DOLLS. WHAT WARS LEAVE BEHIND. LESSONS FROM THE MASTER. THE SMARTEST SMOOTHIE. CHOOSE LIFE. PRESERVE THE EARTH. PEACE, LOVE & HAPPINESS. TIPPING POINT. BOXED OUT! HERE TO HELP LIFE GO RIGHT. MOTHER JONES. LIVING IN AMERICA . . .

THINK "PAC MAN" . . . EAT EVERYTHING I DO AND WRITE!

P.S., I have recommended this Jame Brown song, Living in America, and YES, I have written all, what 1017 blogs.  The other day, when I told you I was blocked from 57 attempts to get on the Internet, in several venues and sites, in addition to trying all 8 versions of my blog, being denied access to MY OWN BLOG, I remembered, that in addition to that, I got into my diagnostic tests, to see what the fuck was up, knowing damned well, that not only does the NSA have access, to my computer and blog, and they have made it look, like every one of my blogs, MY INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY, more valuable than real or personal property, with the only thing more important to me, it my GOOD NAME, that has been used and abused, by the waxing dolls, so far inferior, in the area in intellectual capabilities, that they have to lies, steal, cheat, and kill, to stop me . . . in the totality of the ring of sisters and ex-friend attorneys, the sum total of their brains, do  not equal mine and it is a fucking insult for them to take credit for my work for the last 23 fucking years, after taking me out, for 8 of those, taking every dime, I have made, which is in the millions if not billions, and these, alleged sex machines, could NOT write even ONE OF MY BLOGS!  But, as I got into the FIREWALL diagnostic, like I have brought to the attention of the NSA cyber cops, that there are two fucking open portals to my computer, one 80, now that is Shelley's, cloned computer, so two heads out of ONE BRAIN OR COMPUTER, MINE, #443, but portal #80, shows first, which I assume, makes it look like, Shelley or Kay, FBI BITCHES OR COPS SHIT, wrote the blog, rather than ME, #443, just like my blog, is posting PACIFIC FUCKING TIME, RATHER THAN MOUNTAIN TIME, WHERE KAY LIVES, ASSHOLES, THAT IS INTERNALLY SET, AS IS THE IP AND FIREWALL SHIT! but the other day, when I was blocked, the 80 was free and clear to go, while, me the OWNER OF MY BLOG AND COMPUTER, was blocked for fucking HOURS, on 443, and in the process of this search and discovering what I already KNEW, was that THREE FUCKING IP ADDRESSES POPPED UP, DURING AN HOUR OR SO . . . ISN'T AN IP ADDRESS UNIQUE TO THE COMPUTER?  I brought to the attention of THE NSA, law enforcement, who is razed and confused, dip shits, for sure, MO ASSES, who are involved in the MORMON FUCKING, CONSPIRACY, FBI DIRECTOR, JAMES COMEY, YOUR AREA . . . THIS SHIT NEEDS TO BE FIXED . . . CONTROLLING ME, SO YOU CAN HAVE FREE ACCESS TO MY MONEY AND MY SON'S MUSIC MONEY, IS FUCKING BULL SHIT AND OUTRIGHT CRIMINAL, TO THE TUNE OF A BILLION DOLLARS AS I FIGURE THE NUMBERS OVER THE YEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I AM NO RESPECTER OF PERSONS, SO GET YOUR COP SHIT TOGETHER, OR HAND IN YOUR FUCKING BADGES!  

LYNCH INSULATION NEEDS TO STOP!  FUCK THE DEPARTMENT OF JUSTICE?  LAW ENFORCEMENT?  FUCK, WHAT DOES INJUSTICE LOOK LIKE?

I did, however, meet a cool, local cop chick, at the Break Espresso Cafe' last night.  We were both at the cash register at the same time, I told her to go first since she was on duty, but she kept insisting that I go first, we struck up a conversation, history in the making! lol, but I asked her why she became a cop?  I love to know the reasons and stories behind, this or that, wondering if her father was a cop, or something.  She said, no, actually they were against her becoming a cop, and were surprised why she did, seeing that growing up, she was afraid to stay home alone . . . now she is out cruising the streets, in protective vests, geared to hilt, wearing guns, badge, and all kinds of heavy shit, love tough girls!  She is very pretty too, so of course, I had to get into her personal life!  LOL!  Do you date guys in your department?  Yeah, she just broke up with some detective.  I asked her, seeing she is one of the few chick cops, if she was worried, that the guys were kissing and telling, you know, shop talk, locker room shit?  In true, sexually, liberated, and free wheeling, Montana girl style, she laughed as said, as if she didn't give a rat's ass, that she was always sleeping with someone in the department!  LOL!  I said, enjoy it while you are young, gorgeous and in shape!  I look back, and I guess this could apply to now, why I was so uptight, when I was young and HOT!  LOL!  By the time you hit my age, you don't care anymore!  LOL!

Maybe, a chick cop, who knows I was there, at the Break, creating a contraption to get my cell phone battery, made up of a broom, masking tape, me holding a flashlight, out from behind the big ass book shelf, or kitchen hutch, that sits in the cafe', where I first placed my battery, after learning that 200 agents, FBI, were in town to investigate the Russian mafia, taking over the South Hills, but seeing tons of them, hanging out in the Break, where I write my blog, when, my office at McDonald's has been over used, for a few days . . . first placing my little black box, my battery, on a small electrical cord covering, but, I thought someone might see it, so I pushed it a bit, and it fell off the ledge, to the floor, leaving me wondering, if it fell to the basement, with nothing more than a few contacts, mainly my 4 kids, Greta, Nicole, Chris and Elliot's numbers, but by far the most precious and valuable contacts, but also containing shit that the FBI can use to trace my location!  LOL!  I DID HAVE TWO FUCKING STING OPS, THE FIRST TWO DAYS THEY WERE OBVIOUSLY IN TOWN!  One the first day, I put my battery, where it is now buried, forever, since the dust, over the last few weeks, since I dropped it there, made the tape worthless, and I knocked it either under the hutch, or down the two holes, going to the basement . . . the counter girl at the Break, checked for me, while I talked to the female cop, as she ate her sandwich for dinner, both of us, admitted that we were techno retards, with most technology, beyond us!  LOL!

JUST IN CASE . . . ALWAYS ERROR ON THE SIDE OF SAFETY!  EVEN WITH FEMALE COPS!  AT LEAST, SERVING AND PROTECTING IS NOT REDUCED TO MY "F.Q" OR MY "FUCKABILITY QUOTIENT!"  LOL!

My least favorite, little, motherfucking, NSA, of course are watching all that I write, so they can intercept, this blog, scan it, steal it . . . I just did a typo, signs, streal or steal real!, but, when the spell check is fucked up, I know the asshole MO BUT FUCKING FAGGOTS, IN UTAH, THE CYBER SPIES ARE FUCKING WITH MY BLOG!  BELIEVE ME THIS IS DAILY ACTIVITY SHIT FOR THEM! FUCKING VOYEURS!

Back to the female cop . . . you never know if someone ratted me out, where I was, and she was sent into do whatever?  Just to be safe, I didn't go back to my computer, to eat my carrot cake and drink my Diet Coke, nectar of the gods!  LOL!  I stayed at the table where I was attempting to retrieve my cell phone battery . . . the pretty cop, was helpful, serving, and suggested that I might be able to go get a new batteries at a place like, Battery Plus or Battery Bulb, which I will check out, seeing where it is, yesterday, while I was getting donuts in honor of good cops, at Krispy Kreme, then going to Walgreens, to buy my search and rescue package of tape, flashlight, etc.  VERIFY, VERIFY, VERIFY . . . I used my Walmart money card, at both business establishments!  My battery was not in the basement either!  So new is the order of the day, or I will have to get a whole new phone, which would not kill me, but expensive, and may be worth it, since, I have had a battle, ever since, Grand Junction, function, ditching my phone, in a similar challenge to the GJPD, who were on my ass, until I ditch the phone on a shelf in Walmart!  LOL!  I kept my number, but an FBI agent, came a put all kinds of codes and shit on my new phone with the same number, that has been stolen, and attempted to be put in the enemy sister's hands, when Annie, an alleged, friend from Kalispell, stole my phone, until I wrote about her, and she put it back!  I have even had encrypted messages on that phone, cloned when they could not steal it!

Can I tell you how shitty, it is to have every fucking thing you have ever had in you life, stripped from you, from every form of property, intellectual, real, personal, even MY DNA, in my children, so the fucker cops could claim, that my fucking AMAZING children, fruit doesn't fall far from the tree assholes, so they can get 4 very bright, beautiful, cool kids, to fuck there mother, by brainwashing them, putting false memories, and lies, non-stop into their minds, through, in-law agents, who infiltrated my family, years ago . . . a constant little devil in their ears, you mother, did this and that . . . great relationships, until, I was run out of the state, and I was worried the super mob would murder my kids, so I didn't contact them for their safety and mine!  Then they kept stealing every form of communication tool, like vehicles, computers and cell phones!  God damn it! If you want to know my knee jerk reaction, about my cell phone battery seeing where it was, is that as challenged to do, the FBI, did retrieve it, because, I kept checking the placement of the kitchen hutch or book selves . . . they had been moved and pushed back, further to the wall!  The other day, some guy, tried to help me, try to move the furniture, but it was too heavy, and when he shined his cell phone light, on my battery, it was much further in, and it was precariously, placed, in almost an impossible position to be retrieved . . . It was balanced between two holes, on a sketchy angle, sure to fall this way or that way, if even touched!  There is NO FUCKING WAY, that battery, jumped from that little ledge, and landed, right between two holes . . . NEVER!

The super mob, most likely took mine, and replaced it with Shelley's, or Kay's, Rachel's or some cloned version, so as usual, the original, ME, through tricks, flashbang, lip tricks, and magic shit, tricks, gets into the hands of the liars, to make it look, like MY KIDS ARE THEIRS!  THE GOLDEN ARCHES OF THE SECRIST FAMILY!  THE GOAL FOR THE LIARS AND THIEVES, IN LAW ENFORCEMENT FOR FUCKING 16 YEARS SINCE I WAS POISONED, AS GENERAL COUNSEL FOR THE UTAH MEDICAL ASSOCIATION, bringing me in contact, with FBI and the federal programs, that I PROTECTED THE NATIONS DOCTORS, FROM ALLEGED UP CODING FOR GOVERNMENT BILLING FOR HEALTH CARE!  I am sure, that great feat, that COST ME 8 FUCKING YEARS OF MY LIFE, has been attributed to some bitch, who is to lame ass, to even think of doing the things I have done!  I guess their bra size is bigger and their FQ is higher!  GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

SEXY DREAM LAST NIGHT!

I think there is a sting op going down . . . gotta go . . . female cop, must have, put my MIND IN THE MOOD, to be a SEX MACHINE, LIKE I AM!  LOL!

ME AND THE COP CHICK WISHED EACH OTHER A GOOD NIGHT . . . I TOLD HER TO BE SAFE!

When the female cop, left, seeing her sneaking slowly up the street, it may have dawned on her, my computer, a sure sign that YEAH, that was me, BAD ASS CON LAW CHICK, and all I did is avoid the place and evidence of ME!  LOL!

ABOUT 15 SHERIFFS CRUISED PASSED THE POV. THIS MORNING . . . SOMEONE FOUND MY TRAMP CAMP . . . THERE WAS A BAR OF "IRISH SPRING" SOAP IN THE PLACE OF MY TOILET PAPER OR TISSUE, 'TIS YOU!  THAT IT IS TRUE!!!!!!!

MURDER IS A CRIME!

FATAL IDENTITY! GIZMODO. ANIMATED REACTION. FEED'EM OF THE PRESS! CONSPIRACY: (1) KNOWLEDGE OF THE ACT; (2) WORKED ON THE FURTHERANCE OF THE ACT; (3) WILLFUL BLINDNESS; (4) AWARE OF MESSAGES, TEXTS, CALLS, GPS LOCATIONS AND BOTH PEOPLE AND PLACES CONNECTED TO THE CRIME; AND (5) WITNESS TO THE TEMPLET OF THE CRIME, COMPLICIT AND AWARE THAT THE ACT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN OR DID HAPPEN. I WATCHED THREE "TRUE CRIME" SHOWS TODAY OR TONIGHT THAT AGAIN, ARE "LACED WITH THE TRUTH" AND GIVE INVESTIGATORS AND DETECTIVES MORE INSIGHTS INTO MY CASE . . . ALL OF THESE ARE EPISODES FROM "MY DIRTY LITTLE SECRETS": (1) "WHO WANTS TO MURDER A MILLIONAIRE"; (2) "IN LOVESICK DOCTORS"; AND (3) "I DIED . . . OR DID I?" ALL VERY INTERESTING AND INFORMATIVE . . . I SWEAR, EVERY DAMNED EPISODE OF "TRUE CRIME" HAS SOME CONNECTION TO MY CASE . . . I HAVE ONE PLAYING IN THE BACKGROUND . . . MY DIRTY LITTLE LIES: "THE PRICE OF MURDER!" IN THIS ONE, A WIFE IS MURDERED, HUBBY IS A CHEATER, HAS A HUGE "PONZI" SCHEME, USING HIS WIFE, WHO IS THE "GOLDEN GOOSE" THE WHOLE SCAM IS BASED ON . . . HUBBY HAS A TON OF LOVERS, AND AT THE TIME OF HER MURDER, THERE WAS A WOMAN ON THE SIDE . . . HUB LIED ABOUT HIS WHEREABOUTS AND ALIBI, AND THE COPS SEE THAT, THE GOOD BUSINESS WOMAN AND WIFE, THE SOURCE OF MONEY, WHO IS GETTING HEAT FROM HIS WIFE, IF NOT THE BANK, BECAUSE THEY WERE BUILDING A NEW HOME, BUT HUSBAND WAS TAKING ALL THE MONEY! HE COULD FOOL THE BANK, BUT NOT HIS WIFE. HE LIVED OFF HIS WIFE, HE LIED, HE CHEATED, HIS WIFE FELT THAT SHE WAS HELPING HER HUSBAND TO GO FROM A SHOE SALESMAN TO A BUSINESS MAN . . . BUT HE BECAME A SMOOTH OPERATOR, WHO LIED, STOLE, CHEATED AND EVENTUALLY KILLED TO CONTINUE TO LIVE HIS LAVISH LIFE STYLE! SOUND FAMILIAR? THAT IS BECAUSE IT IS SPOT RIGHT ON!!!!!!!!!

"My Dirty Little Secrets"

WHO WANTED TO MURDER A MILLIONAIRE?

It is interesting, that, I remember this murder case, from Salt Lake City, Utah, going back sometime . . . for a long time, it was a "who done it" case.  The thing, that is interesting, about, old man, Bradshaw, is that, I believe either he was from Cedar City, Utah, and was a friend of my father, or he was related to the Bradshaw family, all involved and quite wealthy, in the auto parts business.  Mr. Bradshaw and his wife, and three daughters, lived a very humble and relatively low keyed life in Salt Lake, but the secret was that, Mr. Bradshaw was a hard worker, had a killer work ethic, and was, unbeknown to his family, worth about $20 million dollars, making him, one of the richest men in the state of Utah, along with the Huntsman, Rice, and Eccles families; however, no one knew this man was that rich, including his own family.  Bradshaw opened his doors, 7 days a week, until 9:00 PM, each night.  One Sunday morning, when all the other stores around his shop, was closed, Bradshaw was open, while the streets were quiet, and it was relatively quiet, in the shop.  Someone appeared to have broken in the auto store and shot old man Bradshaw, dead.  The cops were called, and at first it appeared to be, a robbery, and the cops worried that, it may have been, someone passing through town, and they may have been on their way out of town by the time the cops were even called.

The Bradshaw family, for all intents a purposes, seemed to be, a family that had it all, but, the family, especially, Mr. Bradshaw had many secrets he kept from his own wife.  As the cops, started looking around closer, they found, auto parts, boxes, that were not filled with parts, but had tons of money in them, and he had cash hidden all over the store.  Cops got to know Bradshaw, and realized, that while he had a ton of money, even found out that, he was a big tine investor in the stock market, and while paying his employees very little, he did share his stock market tips, with his men, and they seemed to do quite well, therefore, keeping them happy, when at first it appeared that the employees, might have had reason to kill him for telling them to deal with their salaries, or get another job.  They looked at the wife, she started buying nice clothes, and taking expensive trips, and really enjoying life, for once . . . Bradshaw had been a tight ass with money, rarely shared it with his family, and his wife, felt like they lived like paupers, rather than enjoying the money he made, she never had access to his money, and complained often, but, after awhile, she lived relatively normal, but they noticed that the widows money was actually, by in large, going to two family members, daughter Francis, who was living in, I believe, New York, living off her father, and for the most part, Grandpa was supporting this woman, and her two sons, and had been for a long time.  The youngest daughter was a spendthrift too . . . the second daughter, didn't seem to fit in with the other two daughters, who lived off their father's money, as did, their children.  I think the younger one was single.

Francis and Her Two Sons, Seemed More and More Likely the Suspects

One of the sons, was actually, in Salt Lake City, Utah, visiting his Grandmother and Grandfather, at the time of the murder, so the cops pulled him, in and interviewed him.  Eventually, he is arrested for the murder of his Grandfather, after detectives notice that Grandma is seeming to protect her grandson, and trying to smooth things over when cops, target and move in on her grandson.  Eventually, the son, who does have an alibi, but, not a solid alibi, so the cops arrest and charge the boy, with the murder of the Grandfather, knowing he often asked his Grandfather for money, and he was denied money, that led to some feelings between the two. When the boy was arrested, he decided to come clean, and blame who was really the one or ones, who murdered his Grandfather . . . his brother and his mother!  Apparently, the older brother, Mark, used his younger brother's name, to purchase a ticket to Utah, then he bought a gun, and killed his Grandfather.  When the cops, questioned the older son, he finally, told them what it was like to be the son of Francis Bradshaw, he told them, his mother put him up to it, and said, that if he didn't kill his Grandfather, who finally had it with Francis, her high and large lifestyle, on Daddy's dime, and threatened to cut her and her sons' off, from all financial support, and told her to go get a job, and have her sons' get jobs too!  

The mother convinced her son, that he had to do this for the family, because, it was best, and if he didn't do it, they would all be out living in the streets . . . he said, you don't say NO, to his mother, she was very manipulative and used her love, which she rarely gave, to control and get her son, to do the murder.  When the boys didn't do what mother wanted, she would kick them out of the house or apartment, for long periods of time.  The one time, she demonstrated her love for the oldest son, was after he came back from Salt Lake, and handed her the gun that killed, her own father!  This was a case of greed, secrets, and family manipulation . . . Daddy's little girl, was one girl that Dad could not deny anything to, but when he had finally had it, and was going to cut her off from her lavish lifestyle, she wanted him dead, so even if she had to murder, her father, she needed and wanted to keep up her social status, shopping, living.  Mark, her son, only got 12 years for his part of the murder, and his mother, Francis, got 13 years, but not much for the type of the crime.  Some say, crime doesn't pay, but in this case, it did . . . her mother died while Francis was in prison, but, the daughter who got the whole estate was Francis!

I'M LOVESICK DOCTORS

When a doctor power couple, out on the town, to celebrate the wife's birthday, police are puzzled, finding that, both of the doctors, that seemed to have a life, that other people would envy, nice home, attractive couple, appearing to be a happily married couple, and totally clean practices in their doctors' offices and professional worlds.  So, who would want these two dead?  The cops, thought that perhaps, when the doctor husband, ratted out, a fellow doctor, for criminal behavior, the cops, thought given the professional nature of the job, it had to be a contract killing with a hit man or woman, who knew what they were doing. But after interviewing the doctor, the cops felt that, while he was pissed off, he didn't kill the other doctor. Finally, someone, who knew the couple, and was friends with the wife, said, what looked like the perfect power couple, was not all hearts and flowers, and the husband, was a big time cheater, and he had two former wives, that he cheated on also.  Plus he had a lot of female lovers, and the cops, finally focus on one woman, who, called the Doc, about 20 times in one day.  The woman said they had an affair for about 10 years, while he promised that he would leave his wives, but never did, although he always kept her on the string.  They wondered if this long time girlfriend, finally had it and either had him killed, or got someone else to kill her lover.

Eventually, the girlfriend came clean, after, some reformed, born again, Christian, former gang member, connected the Doctor, who wanted him to kill his wife, because he was not happy, and he no longer was attracted to her . . . the guy said, No.  Finally, the trail, led to a new boyfriend of the hot Latina lover, who the Doctor wanted, but didn't think she was of his same social status, as he thought of many, of the peopled he hung out with, coming from a very wealthy family, of a doctor father.  This bad boy lover, took $20,000 from the Doc, to kill his wife, but after the Doctor planned and orchestrated the murder of his wife, the bad boy hit man, was paid before he committed the crime, so, the reason he knocked off the wife, who had more bullets in her, he killed the husband, the Doctor too, because bad boy, could tell, that the Doctor would sing, if he was called in and questioned by the cops.  The Doctor and his high powered doctor wife, were both done in by people from the other side of the tracks, that they thought they were too sophisticated and good to hang out with legitimately.  The Latina lovers, seemed to be the mastermind, and bad boy, was the muscle, both were charged with the murders, and convicted of the crimes.

I DIED . . . OR DID I?  

PERFECT FOR MY CASE!

This episode starts out with a husband and his new wife, moving to Fargo, North Dakota.  The husband was charming and out going, so he made friends easy, and hooked up with people and friends easy.  Soon he is hired to be the accountant or bookkeeper for a small business man, who trusts this psychopath, totally, as does his pretty new wife.  All of the sudden, the man doesn't show up for work, and is missing for several days, so this boss, turns in a missing person report, and the cops, find the house all in order, but, the mail had not been picked up for some time, making it appear, that, they just left their furniture, packed up and left, or they were gone for a few days, but no on had seen them.  The man's name, was, Tim Wicks.  A female cop is assigned to track the man down.  Eventually, she just calls his cell phone and to her surprise, the man, answers.  She tells him, that there is problems with his bookkeeping job, and that his boss accused him of fraud, embezzlement and theft, which he denied, saying that he would be glad to come talk to her, because he had noticed that the business had not paid their taxes for a long time, and he could clear all of this up.

In the mean time, the female detective in Fargo, ND, gets a call from a detective in Wisconsin, about a man, named, Tim Wicks, who was a missing man.  She said, oh, I am going to see, Tim, this afternoon, but Tim never comes.  The two detectives start comparing notes, and find out that the two Tim Wicks, are not the same men, but they don't think it is likely that there are two men with the same name, social security and birthday!  The female cop puts out, an APB, or all points bulletin on the wanted man, across the country.  In the mean time, the male detective, gets a call, that someone had found a male body torso, but no hands and no head . . . that had been decapitated.  But, due to the nature of the murder, without teeth and hands, there was not much to use to identify the body.  The Wisconsin, Tim, was a musician, who told his friends that he had met a guy named, Dennis, who he met at the bar, who also played in a band, in Canada, who offered the young man, a gig, playing drums, and he would make $800 per week, playing throughout Canada.  But after he had been gone for a few weeks, his friends and family got worried, saying it was not like him, to not make contact.  Each detective, faxed each other, a copy of their, TIM, and they were not surprised to find that they were not the same, nor looked the same.

It appeared that they had a case of identity theft, if not a murder.  Finally, they got Dennis, Tim;s real name, and called him in for questioning, to see how he knew the "real" Tim Wicks.  Come to find out, Dennis, was actually, Tim's accountant and he did the musician's taxes, which gave him access to all his personal information, his former addresses, birthday and social security number.  He said, that, when Tim found out that, Dennis, had trouble with the law, warrants, taxes, and charges, Tim, said it was okay for Dennis to use his ID, because, Tim was going to Canada, so he could use his ID and start a new life in Fargo, North Dakota.  The cops were not buying it.  As they looked into the background of Dennis, there were plenty of reasons for him to want to steal Tim Wick's, Identity, and start a new life.  Finally, the cops find, Tim's head and hands, 35 miles from his torso, and they are able to identify that it is, Tim, the missing musician.  Dennis claims, that he did, steal his identity, but he never killed him.  The cops were worried that, Dennis, who they knew killed Tim, but, they could not prove it.  Finally, before Dennis got out of jail, for the fraud, ID theft, and embezzlement, his wife, who was terrified of, and feels guilty about the whole thing, turns in her husband to get the guilt off her mind.  Eventually, the cops convict him of the murder of Tim Wicks, justice was finally served for Tim.  (Kay Burningham, aka, Joann Secrist, Me, was married to Tim Brown, so even the name, Tim Wicks . . . Brett Stuart/Stewart is wicked!)

OVERALL VIEW OF THE WHOLE CASE!