HACKER, WANTS TO BE SEEN AS THE CHARISMATIC . . . SHE CAN'T BE ME, WITHOUT, STEALING THIS BLOG . . . RACHEL, 5'11", WAS LIVING IN, SHUMBERG, ILLINOIS, WHEN, I WAS WORKING FOR, AMERICANS UNITED FOR LIFE, IN CHICAGO! SHE IS NOT A CHARISMATIC, ONLY, STOLE MY CHARISMATIC, LIFE AND CLAIMED, THAT SHE WAS ME . . . WOULDA, COULDA, DID!
SHE MAY HAVE BEEN A CHARMED, FLIGHT ATTENDANT FOR UNITED AIRLINES, A FAR CRY FROM, BEING A GIFTED, ATTORNEY, WITH CHARM, LUCK, AND FUN! WHERE IS RACHEL KENNEDY RIGHT NOW! YOU SEE, THE PROBLEM WITH BEING A CHARISMATIC, IS YOU ATTRACT OTHER CHARISMATICS, AND THAT IS TROUBLE! AS YOU CAN SEE, THEY ARE NOT WILLING TO BE MARRIED, OR CONNECTED TO SOMEONE, LESS THEN, THEY ARE, SO THEY, WHEN, REJECTED BY ME, ANOTHER CHARISMATIC, THEY, MAKE UP ONE, TO FILL THE VOID, OF LOSING ME! LOL. IT ALL MAKES SENSE . . . THERE WAS A SONG, THAT CAME ON, WHEN, I WAS BACKING KENNEDY DOWN, OVER AND OVER AGAIN, AND IT SAID . . . I AM JUST HERE TO HAVE FUN, AND I WILL NOT LAST FOR LONG! SOMETHING TO THAT AFFECT, ONE OF THE REASONS, I CHANGED MY MIND, AND AFTER TELLING KENNEDY THAT I WAS NOT COMING TO DURANGO, BUT, GOING TO BOZEMAN, FOR A JOB, WAS THAT FUCKING SONG, THAT ALMOST GOT ME KILLED, MAYBE BY HIM!???? The fat chick, rejection, is even, worse, for these charismatics, because, they, the guys, don't think you really, deserve them in the first place! LOL. But you know, your history, with men, a dime a dozen, one coming around the corner, every ten minutes! LOL. The other day, here, just outside, Seattle, I had just written about, these type guys, I am the Alpha chick, that throws them off their game, more rare, but, there were two trolley cars, going down the freeway, one after the other! Some young Mr. Hot, at the gym, took this device, with two ropes, got on this knees, after looking at me, and started to do this, almost like bowing at the Queen thing in front of me! LOL. Some guys can see it, and some guys, can't! LOL. Now, why, would, men, like John F. Kennedy, Jr. or James, care if I get in shape? Think on that one . . . they have their lady, only guilty of having a good time? So, why care about me getting in shape? THE PERFECT STRANGER? GO HOME WITH A STRANGER. NO LONGER A STRANGER? SOME OTHER GUY GETS THE PRIZE? ROCK STAR, FOR CHEAP KNOCK OFF BRAND? LOL. REVENGE IS SWEET . . . HE'S A CHARISMATIC TOO . . . MORE MEN, THAN, WOMEN!
CHARISMATICS--WATCH OUT! THIS IS WHERE THE "TISSUE" OR 'TIS YOU, STARTED! IT IS ME! LOL.
This is starting on page, 5, of F*ck Love. On second thought, I am not the paragon of virtue, I thought I was . . . see if you are, in this, or someone you have dated:
CHARISMA SEEMS LIKE A DESIRABLE ASSET IN A LONG_TERM RELATIONSHIP because it doesn"t wear out or depend on looks or money; AFTER ALL, 'ITS NOBLER TO CHOOSE SOMEONE WITH A GOOD PERSONALITY OVER GOOD CHEEKBONES OR A GOOD INVESTMENT PORTFOLIO. (Someone got sticky stuff on the keys of this computer, at Sophia's Place, so, bear with me!). Unfortunately, having a goo personality and just being goog at attracting people are rarely the same thing.
One problem with seeking a relationship with a charismatic person is that it's often hard to tell whether she like you as much as she seems to and, at the crush stage, whether your first overtures will be accepted or rejected. The real issue, however, is not whether you may suffer a little humiliation when you discover that the intense interest, intimate conversation, and love-song-strength eye contact don't really reflect more than your crush's desire to captivate. It's that , even if she is interested, she may never belong to you as much as she belongs to her public. (You are my public! LOL. Girls, particularly, wanted to know, every thing about, James Kennedy! Shades of Gray! LOL. He has a reason to be pissed, but not enough to poison me for god sake! LOL.)
So instead of trying to figure out whether this woman is actually interested in you or is his way with everyone, take a moment to determine whether she's actually worth pursuing in the first place, since a relationship with her is bound to make you feel neglected, insecure, and possibly angry and jealous. You may find that it would be better to keep her as a friend you can harmlessly flirt with while looking for someone else more meaningful, even if that someone is less magnetic. LOL. PERFECT.
Indeed, a charismatic partner may always make you fell unsure about how much she actually cares, so once you notice her using her charm on anyone or anything that's currently holding her attention, you start to wonder who's most-est special to her, or whether anyone is. You're right, then, to put on the brakes until you can watch her behavior, gather information about her past relationships, and verify her ability to treat those who are truly close, such as you, with genuine specialness and in a way that lasts.
If you're dating someone who depends on charisma to feel good as well as to make a living, as do many salespeople, you have additional reason to worry. (Dude's side) His manager, ego, and income tell him, that he's respected for his excellent ability to seduce new sales. Unless he is grounded in better values, however, and can tolerate the inevitable "chopped liver" feeling that burdens even the best of partnerships, your relationship may not endure. At the least, those eventual feelings of neglect may fuel a strong need to seek admiration and conquest (those usually come by not being sexually neglected by someone else.)
Before taking a risk and putting yourself on the line to commit to that charismatic person, find out all you can about past and current relationships. Instead, of just paying attention to his enthusiasm and generosity when love is new, ask yourself whether his attachment last after things get unpleasant and annoying, i.e., after an episode of food poisoning or Thanksgiving dinner with your alcoholic grandfather. Get to know his values and observe how much he depends on his charisma to feel good.
Charisma can also disguise that usual high-risk personality traits that make lasting relationships difficult. If someone with a great relaxed public persona turns out to have a bad temper and little trust in private, don't assume that your love and attention will restore the personal warmth that always seemed to dominate her personality before you got close.
While bursts of anger and mistrust may be rooted in misunderstanding or temporary depression and may resolve with patience and understanding, don't let wishful thinking cloud your judgment as you get to know someone and learn about what happened to their prior relationships. Charismatic people often have more control over how they present themselves; prepare to take more time, effort, and detective work to know who they really are by observing their deeds, rather than responding to their charm.
Quiz: Charm Questions--Caught by Charisma . . . I am not going to type these, but fun!
WHERE'S YOUR PARTNER ON THE CHARISMA SCALE?
We wouldn't be with our partners if we didn't find something attractive in their personalities, but while some spouses' appeal is due to a subtle, earnest nature, others are so enchanting that their magnetism isn't just undeniable, it's dangerous. Your average spouse can find a way to talk you into doing something you dislike by working out a compromise, but a not charming partner can be so genuinely obnoxious that he works your last nerve, and a too-smooth spouse is actually working you all the time like a mark. The book goes on to give you some tips on how to deal with this person . . . there are three categories: (1) Charisma impaired; (2) Charisma Capable; (3) Charisma Corrupted: If attempts to flirt you into dish-doing have failed, he plans more dinners with old frat buddies, guys from the club, and women he insists are clients, so you wind up begging to cook for him and do dishes since you feel as if he were doing you a favor just by eating with you at home! Two charismas, disaster!
HAVING CHARISMA
To the uncharismatic--those who were never brushed with the pixie dust of charm and have to rely on luck, extra hard work, and the ability to beat back nagging self-doubt to achieve any kind of success--having charisma can seem like the ultimate advantage. A charismatic person appears to have access to a better, luckier kind of luck than the rest of us. Unfortunately, as we've seen with too many lottery winners, freak survivors of catastrophes, and celebrity spawn, too much luck can be a bad thing and too much of this kind of luck can also ruin your life if you don't understand its costs and risks and manage them carefully.
Here are three examples: I am just going to give you one, the one that fits me . . . sorry can't type the whole book! LOL.
- the first, some guy, who, has women, love him, and he feels pressured to get involved, sexually, but, then, is not committed and ends up hurting the gals. His buddies, are all jealous, but he hates it!
- can't remember the second one, don't want to re-read it . . .
- I love dating and am blessed with the mysterious ability to attract whatever guys i want. But then, after a couple months, what starts out as genuine interest always seems to fade on my side, but not on theirs. I don't know what's wrong with me. I love the initial attraction, but it's not like I'm desperate for it and willing to get it from anyone; I'm pretty choosy in terms of only getting into relationships with guys I really like who meet my high standards. My goal is to understand why I get bored with really great guys.
Charisma often misleads people into thinking that they have more control over relationships than they do, distracts them from examining character factors that determine whether a relationships is safe or dangerous, and burdens them with an unreasonable sense of responsibility for the feelings of others. so if you don't keep those risks in mind, you may end up going into emotional debt.
When charisma makes you lucky at romance, and you're lucky enough to have a good character to recognize and respect your gift, it's hard not to fell guilty. After all, you're receiving attention that others must work much harder to achieve and which you don't deserve for any reason other than that you're charmed and charming. Unless you're in love with your charisma, you may well feel as obligation to offer something in return for this attention, such as not disappointing all those people who are unlucky enough to be drawn to your gift/curse.
Unfortunately, making yourself available to admirers can't create a real, lasting relationship and will make their disappointment worse when you stop answering their calls or acting like a real friend. Feeling guilty can cause harm and make you feel guiltier. (God intel, couldn't change font!).
LUNCH IS ON! ENOUGH FOR TODAY! THIS RAISES A SCARY, ISSUE WITH THE DOUBLES . . . THEY WERE NOT THE CHARISMATICS, TO START WITH . . . WHAT HAPPENS WHEN, I QUIT WRITING THE BLOG AND FANS, STILL WANT IT? THEY KNOW, SISTERS, OR OTHERS AS ME, WHAT DO THEY DO?
LATELY, SEEING THAT PEOPLE ARE RECOGNIZING ME, I HAVE STARTED TO WORRY ABOUT, WHO IS HEARING WHAT, POLITICALLY . . . THE OTHER DAY AT, BELLEVUE LIBRARY, I GOT ON THE ELEVATOR WITH SOMEONE, AND THE DUDE, EVERYONE KNOWS YOU, BUT YOU DON'T KNOW ANYONE, SAID, THAT BACKPACK FITS YOU . . . IT IS WHAT I WOULD HAVE EXPECTED? WHAT? THAT IS THE TROUBLE WITH MY SITUATION WITH COPS, THEY KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT ME AND I KNOW, NOTHING ABOUT THEM! SURVEILLANCE 24/7 . . . UNIQUE OBSESSIONS, CAN KILL YOU!
GIFT AND CURSE!
DON'T I KNOW IT, BUT YOU HAVE BEEN SO LUCKY ALL YOUR LIFE, THAT, EVEN, LIFE AND DEATH SITUATIONS, SEEM TO BLOW PASSED YOU . . . LIKE YESTERDAY, THROUGH THE JAWS OF DEATH, WORTH BILLIONS, OUT WALKING AROUND, LIKE, NOBODY, WANTS, WHAT YOU HAVE!
THE OTHER DAY, I WOKE UP EARLY, AND TRIED TO GET PASSED A LADDER AND WAS, AT THE SAME TIME, THINKING ABOUT MY DREAM OF MY TWO GUNS, GOLD, SPARKLY, SHINY AND SMART, CHARISMAS . . . THEN, I THOUGHT, OF, WHAT, SOMEONE WOULD WANT . . . AS I PASSED MY NEIGHBOR'S BED, IN THE DARK, I HIT HER HAND, STRETCHED OUT IN THE SMALL WALKWAY!
MY HANDS SHOULD PROBABLY BE INSURED FOR A BILLION DOLLARS IF I WERE GETTING ANY OF IT!
THERE IS NOT A COUNTRY IN THE WORLD, WHAT WOULD NOT LOVE TO GET THEIR HANDS ON THIS BLOG, WITH WORLDWIDE, AUDIENCE, TO PROMOTE THEIR AGENDA AND THEIR, POLITICS!
I CAN'T BELIEVE, I AM NOT BEING PROTECTED!
SCARY. A CHARISMATIC WRITER!
I REFUSE TO TURN IT OVER TO ANYONE, BUT, THAT DOESN'T MEAN THEY CAN'T TAKE IT FROM ME . . . LIKE THEY HAVE EVERYTHING ELSE!
I'M PRETTY PURE IN WHAT I BELIEVE, SAFE, AND WILL NOT LEAD ANYONE ASTRAY, IF I CAN HELP IT, BUT, THERE ARE OTHERS WHO HAVE EVIL, DANGEROUS MOTIVES, AND THOSE WE NEED FEAR!
A VERY SCARY TOOL!
I AM ONE IN A BILLION, WALKING AROUND WITH SHEAR POWER IN THESE HANDS!
WHERE DO I GO FROM HERE?