BECOMING FREUD (ADAM PHILLIPS). DRUNK? NO! STONED? NO. BRILLIANT? YES! DEAD" NO . . . I AM ONLY GUILTY OF BEING MORMON! WITH A $357 MILLION SECURITIES, CIVIL RIGHT SUIT AGAINST THE STATE OF UTAH, SECURITIES DIVISION, WITH GOVERNOR, ATTORNEY GENERAL, AND OTHERS AS DEFENDANTS--A NATIONWIDE FOLLOWING OF ATTORNEYS, FINANCIAL PLANNERS AND WEALTHY DONORS WATCHING ME TAKE ON THE SEC, FOLLOWED BY A $56.7 MILLION LAWSUIT AGAINST CORRUPTION IN IRON COUNTY--COPS, PROSECUTOR, NARC COPS, DIVISION OF CHILD AND FAMILY SERVICES, A JUDGE, ETC., STARTING IN 2010, FOLLOWED BY ANOTHER $300 MILLION IN CASES AGAINST THE GOVERNMENT, AND NEW CLIENTS LINED UP AND WAITING FOR CASES, ADDED TO AN ALLEGEDLY VIABLE, MORMON PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE, HEADING INTO THE 2012 ELECTIONS, BEING #2 IN CIVIL RIGHTS DEFENSE IN THE NATION, BEHIND FAMED COWBOY ATTORNEY, JACKSON HOLE, WYOMING, GERRY SPENCE, AND A NEW WORLD ORDER TO USHER IN . . . WITH AMERICA WATCHING, THIS FEMALE ATTORNEY, ARISING FROM THE DEPTHS OF FEMALE SUBSERVIENCE, POLYGAMY, FEMINIST BACKLASH, AN ABORTION, A RISING ROCK STAR SON, WITH A SONY RECORD DEAL, NO MORE CUT FROM THE MORMON MOLD THAN HIS MOTHER, AND GOD'S REVOLVER, HARD ROCK BAND OF 2008, BUT KICKING OUT A NEW CD IN 2011, FROM THE RED JESUS BAND . . . THAT IMAGE OF MORMONISM WAS BEING SHATTERED, AND IN THE MORMON CHURCH'S COLLECTIVE MIND, WITH 70% OF THE CIA, FBI, NSA, AND OTHER FEDERAL AGENCIES, BEING MORMON, WITH TOTAL ACCESS, TO COMPUTERS, COURTS, UP TO AN INCLUDING TO THE UNITED STATES SUPREME COURT, THE TEMPTATION TO REPRESS THE "REAL" PRODUCTS OF THE MORMON CHURCH, SOUTHWICK FAMILY, AND AMERICA, WERE JUST TOO UNBEARABLE, AND RISKY FOR WHAT WAS AT STAKE, SO RATHER THAN EMBRACING DIVERSITY IN CULTURE AND THOUGHT, THE FAMILY, FRIEND, AND ATTORNEY DOUBLES, FORGERS, AND FRAUDS, TOOK OVER, LEAVING ME, FALSELY ACCUSED, EXILED, ISOLATED AND AT TIMES IMPRISONED, DIVIDING THE MORMON CULTURE, BETWEEN TRUTH AND JUSTICE VS. TRADITION AND PERCEIVED HONOR! A BATTLE THAT NEVER SHOULD HAVE TAKEN PLACE! TO FREUD, THE FATHER OF PSYCHOANALYSIS, "LOST SOULS" WOULD HAVE BEEN, OF COURSE, THE MORMON CHURCH AND CULTURE, AND THOSE CHRISTIAN SOULS LOST, PERHAPS, TEMPORARILY, TO THE FAITH VS. THE NATION, WERE THOSE MOST IN NEED OF "IMPROVEMENT!" I AGREE . . . PERHAPS THIS SHORT, BULLET VERSION OF THE LAST CHAPTER OF THE BOOK, ENTITLED, "PSYCHOANALYSIS COMES OUT" STARTING ON PAGE 122, OF "BECOMING FREUD" WILL HELP OTHER PEOPLE, WHOM HAVE EXPERIENCED A SIMILAR SPLIT, BEING TORN OR EXILED, FROM FAMILY, HOME, CULTURE, FAITH, STATE, AND OTHER THINGS, SEEN AS A DEMOCRATIC LIBERAL, MY RIGHT, IN A CONSERVATIVE CITY, COUNTY, JUDICIAL DISTRICT, STATE, AND CHURCH, THAT CONTROLS THE STATE . . . WITH LITTLE SEPARATION OF CHURCH AND STATE, IF ANY WALL OF SEPARATION AT ALL . . . WHICH FOR THIS BAD ASS CON LAW CHICK, TRAINED IN THE WAYS OF CONSTITUTIONAL LAW, RAN FACE TO FACE WITH THE PATRIARCHAL RELIGIOUS AUTHORITY, THAT RAN, THE UTAH STATE BAR, THE COURTS, THE LEGISLATURE, THE FAMILY, FRIENDS, CLIENTS, AND THE STATE! WITH MY ONLY CRIME, BEING THAT OF BEING, PROBABLY A WOMAN, AND A MORMON! I WAS THE WRONG ILK FOR THESE FOLKS, AND MANY FOLKS IN MONTANA . . . BUT, HOPEFULLY, THEY I.D.! LOL! SO, LAY BACK ON MY LEATHER COUCH, SHUT YOUR EYES, AND LEARN SOMETHING ABOUT YOURSELF, AS A MEMBER OF THE SPECIES, FOR FREUD VERY MUCH, USED A DARWINIAN FRAMEWORK, FOR HIS WORK, SEEING US AS LITTLE MORE THAN ANIMALS, SEEKING PLEASURE

The Power of Playing Cards!

One thing the Southwick clan did and does, is play Canasta, a card game, that binds generations, and serves as a training ground of social, religious, and societal norms, values and morals.  Now, for some reason, while following many of the dictates of the Mormon Church, card playing, was literally, still on the table, even though, the Mormon Church prophet and others, admonished members to not indulge.  I believe, that Grandmother Southwick, the matriarch of the clan, stopped playing for a while; however, when she didn't die immediately, she figured, it was not worth giving up this family game and bonding activity, that all Southwicks learn to play by the time they are about 5!  Talk about the CNN kids, debates, for those presidential candidates that can't make the grade, in the polls, new in-laws, and out-laws, that marry into the extended family, are relegated to the kids table in cards too, until such a time as their spouse, decides they are worthy of more lofty opponents, or there is a seat that needs to be filled. But, little did, I think, that giving up my seat at the card tables, during three years of law school, followed by teaching college and practicing law, full time, I would be forgotten from the family tree, altogether, and so would my posterity, unless they sided against their mother, for survival, which Freud, boils down, as a driving factor in a person's life.

So, here we go for the deep psychoanalysis, that will cure the human race if believed and used . . . I found it very helpful, and insightful, and dead sight, right on!  Just a little background on me, to make you feel somewhat comfortable, letting me analyze your childhood, family, background, transference, sexuality, needs, compromising pleasure in the service of survival, in this dog eat dog, world of ours, as seen through the eyes of Charles Darwin, and the survival of the species theories, that, seem to be the only theories, that made sense to me, in looking at what happened to me, and to Freud as he looked deep in the subconscious of his patients, whom he based his theories on.  I do want to note that on a practical note, that if we all followed the survival of the fittest, or the ones with the most numbers, power and positions, junior could simply beat grandma to a bloody pulp and  take his inheritance . . . not very civilized, in my opinion, but my enemies in this game of thrones, all based on my family, and what could be wrestled away from it, and I am talking my immediate family, former spouse and children, you can see the brutality of what we, were and are up against.  But, having said thHat, I started a master's degree in family and human development, after changing my mind about a degree in social work, and the behest of my ex-husband's uncle, who coined that area of practice, as let me help you into adultery . . . or, they cover masks of bad childhoods, with smiley faces, in order to use their patients to figure out their own, psychosis!  LOL!

In addition to that, I started a master's level in ancient scripture studies at BYU, shortly before going to law school, later teaching family law at Brigham Young University, and the University of Utah, undergraduate studies, and working with family issues, from domestic violence, child abuse, to elder abuse and fraud, so, somewhat of a semi-expert in these areas of becoming a Freudian psychoanalyst for just a few moments, or enough time to save you some time and thought, but maybe helpful, in some ways.  

A Biography As Great As Its Subject

• "The most violent revolutions in an individual's beliefs, leave most of his old order standing." William James, Pragmatist

FAMOUS JOHNSONISMS IN JAMES BOSWELL'S BIOGRAPHY, "LIFE OF JOHNSON"

• "When a man is tired of London, he is tired of life."
• "One of the disadvantages of wine is that it makes a man mistake words for thoughts."
• "Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel."  

HISTORICALLY SPEAKING, AMANDA FOREMAN . . . GOLD THAT GLITTERS AND KILLS

• "When piles of gold begin to grow . . . that's when the trouble starts."

Dreams, Family Backgrounds, Transference, Sexuality, Needs

Thesis: 

(1) understanding of the patients pleasure seeking, and how it was linked into his survival

• revival of lost opportunities, missed chances, uncompleted actions (jealous sisters, attorney friends, professional jealousy in general)
• new story about the possibilities of pleasure, the struggle for survival, is the struggle for pleasure
• Darwin: sexuality as a biological imperative

(2) whether the patient could recover the pleasure that would make his life worth living

• poverty in childhood . . . adult, impoverished sense of possibility 
• how much confidence could be lost in development
• we are only animals, longing to grow up, and they hated growing up, and sabotaged it
• all seen within the Darwin context

Themes: the child, the dream, development as the narrowing of the mind and stifling of the heart, society as the enemy of the individual passion and vision, the suspicion of traditional forms of authority, and the new exhilaration about the possibilities of language

FREUD, WONDERING WHAT PEOPLE WERE TALKING ABOUT THEIR SUFFERING

• when they were talking about their symptom ridden thoughts
• noticed what they needed to omit to make their stories seem possible and coherent
• how often, for modern people (patients) talking about their lives was talking about their resistance to their: fears, their sabotaging of, their horror of pleasure, and the feeling of aliveness that comes with it
• what happened when the patient couldn't assimilate it
• sexuality was an emblem of the unassailable (Judaism, Mormonism, Catholicism, Islam, etc. was another such emblem . . . Freud was Jewish)
• sustaining pleasure of religion, rootedness, family, sexuality, were radically under rated
• once there was despair about traditional, the conventional, the familiar pleasures, pleasure might be found in despair itself, and other alien forms of suffering

Freud found that suffering gave pleasure and it was sufficient with surprising (secular) news about ourselves

• masochism--our best trick for survival, making inordinate suffering, our profoundest pleasure
• seeing sexuality as something we suffered
• so the meaning of our suffering was sexual
• and suffering could be satisfying

Freud's writings were applied to, in my case, a professional, Jack-Mormon, well assimilated in his culture, a woman betrayed by her culture, accused falsely, as it happened, of treacherous writing, a woman punished, silenced and exiled, who divided society that had failed her, and who was ultimately celebrated as a hero of fortitude and stoic integrity . . . as in taking the oath to protect, defend, and preserve the Constitution, in light of a society, that wanted to rid, not only the state of Utah of it, but who needed to rid the nation of the guiding principles and tenants, so that a one world order, with a Mormon President could prevail.

• truth and justice vs. tradition and honor
• Mormons used their religious inheritance as a justification for their ethical position, but mistrusted spiritual musing and religious enthusiasm, which they through promoted an irrational and dangerous obscurantism . . . which made Mormons attentive again, to ways they presented themselves . . . falsely accused, exiled, isolated, and imprisoned, being Mormon, was not a way of not being an American, believing that I did nothing wrong.
• the Mormons, like sexuality itself, represent unacceptable sociability; promiscuous pleasure-and-power seeking . . . the only thing I was guilty of, was being Mormon!
• and being Mormon meant being, essentially, a saboteur of the nation-state, a person who's allegiances could not by definition, be patriotic, writings could not be trusted, I associated with others in unpredictable ways, and could only be, by definition, nefarious, and unfathomable to the non-Mormon
• nexus of associations of guilt, betrayal, sexuality and Mormonism; each of these having to be concealed or disguised or disowned
• dangerous, unknowable affinities and allegiances . . . who do people want to be with and what do they want to be together?  Thus the inner circle of the known, the Mo Muffins, attorneys, who could be controlled by the Mormon Church, or other authority figures, within the government, seeing them as no threat, unlike myself . . . dreams can reveal this paradigm and acceptable structure

Freud was beginning to describe how our cultures live in us, more than we live in our cultures!

• through this we can discover destructive socialization, as was clear from the casualties of the particular forms of socialization that consults or commits him or her for treatment
• there is no such thing as innocence . . . we are always accused of, or accusing ourselves of being accused of something
• we are always guilty, which means we are perpetually self-hating
• what my case has made all too vivid is the precariousness of domestic liberalism, of its being haunted by illiberalism (the return of the repressed)
• modern people endanger themselves by the way on which they protect themselves
• unconscious form of self-blinding, and ways of occluding a piece of reality (my right to an abortion, or my son's right to long hair, a band, and being part of the counter-culture in Utah, my cases, taking on the established hierarchy, threatening the image of the Mormon Church, Mitt Romney, and the Constitution, serving as a threat to planned goals of a one world order, with a Mormon president, documentary in the UK, BBC, with Kay Burningham, the forging attorney, meeting up with Mitt, one day after a U.S. Magistrate, up and terminated the case, because they could not win, the jurisdictional arguments, the bribes had been paid, the government defaulted, and they had to get rid of ME!

Makes sense to me . . . You?  Well, you can get off my couch now, I am going to dinner.  Hopefully, some of you did some soul searching yourself, putting your own lives, pleasures, suffering in perspective, as well as your religious upbringings!

HAVE A CHEERY GOOD NIGHT, ALL!

WICKED SMART . . . PLAYFUL MINDS THINK A LIKE: HEAVY THINKING! LOVE, DATING AND MARRIAGE SMARTS! A FATEFUL SLAYING OF THE VERY WORST KIND, A REALLY SUPER PLAYER WITH GOOD COMPASSION! TO BREAK THE RULES, YOU MUST MASTER THEM. PARADIGM LOST . . . DARE GREATLY. FRESH LIFE CHURCH PASTOR, LEVI'S 7 GREAT EXPECTATIONS IN MARRIAGE THAT WILL NOT SUSTAIN A HEALTHY, THRIVING UNION: (1) CHEMISTRY & ATTRACTION--MOST MARRIAGES, LOSE THAT HOT PASSION WITHIN THE FIRST YEAR--SORRY! (2) JUST COMMON INTERESTS, LIKE BOTH WEARING MATCHING SEAHAWKS FOOTBALL JERSEYS, AND WATCHING GAMES TOGETHER . . . WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU WANT TO TAKE THE KIDS TO CHURCH, WHICH NEVER, OR GENERALLY NEVER HURTS KIDS, AND HE WANTS TO STAY HOME AND WATCH FOOTBALL! SORRY! (3) EXPECTING THE OTHER PERSON TO GIVE MORE IN THE RELATIONSHIP, THAN YOU ARE WILLING TO GIVE! IF YOU GAVE THE SAME AMOUNT OF ENERGY INTO YOUR JOB, WOULD YOUR BOSS KEEP YOU? PROBABLY NOT! (4) GREAT EXPECTATIONS THAT LOOKS, SEX, HEALTH, HAIR--AS IN GOING BALD, BODIES AND LOVE WILL STAY THE SAME THROUGHOUT YOUR MARRIED LIFE . . . AH, GET REAL! LOL! (5) EXPECTING TO KEEP THE SAME LIFESTYLE YOU HAD AS A SINGLE PERSON--SLOB LIKE BEHAVIORS? SELFISHNESS? PERSONAL SPACE AND TIME? MARRIAGE IS LIKE HAVING A SURVEILLANCE CAMERA ON YOU FOR EACH PERSON YOU ADD TO YOUR FAMILY . . . I'LL BE WATCHING YOU! MARRIAGE IS MORE ABOUT PERSONAL PERFECTION, THROUGH THE YES OF ANOTHER PERSON, THAN IT IS ABOUT THE COUPLE! MIRRORS OF BAD HABITS! LOL! KIDS, ONLY MAKE YOUR WEAKNESSES WORSE, NOT BETTER! (6) EXPECTING MINOR INDISCRETIONS AND CHEATING THAT TAKE FROM THE BIGGER PICTURE AND EFFORTS OF MARRIAGE AND FAMILY LIFE, TO DO ANYTHING LESS THAN REDUCE YOU TO TOTAL SHIT! BOTH SEXES! ONE NIGHT WITH A PROSTITUTE CAN RUIN YOUR LIFE! THINK! MARRIAGE IS A BUSINESS DEAL, WITH FRINGE BENEFITS, AND LONG TERM SATISFACTION! NOT CHEAP THRILLS AND SEX! THINK, LONG TERM . . . THE CHOICES YOU MAKE TODAY, WILL EFFECT WHERE YOU END UP TOMORROW--THINK LONG RANGE GOALS! MARRIAGE PLACES SEXUAL LIMITS . . . WHICH IF UNCHECKED, ENDS UP WITH BEASTIALITY, SERIAL KILLERS, CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE, AFFAIRS--CONTROL! DISCIPLINE, ROOT WORD OF DISCIPLESHIP! THE MARRIAGE BED IS UNDEFILED--PLAY! LOL! AND (7) EXPECTATIONS THAT RELIGION WILL CURE YOUR MARITAL ILLS . . . IT WON'T! JESUS-JOY MAY, BUT NOT BURYING YOUR HEAD IN A CHURCH, CHURCH SERVICE, OR FAMILY AVOIDANCE IN LIEU OF FAMILY RESPONSIBILITIES! GREAT SERMON, WORTH, GETTING THE DETAILS ONLINE! BUILD YOUR RELATIONSHIPS ON A SURE FOUNDATIONS, LIKE LOVE! IF YOU CAN FALL OUT OF LOVE, YOU CAN GROW BACK IN LOVE! ASKING YOURSELF, WILL THIS BUILD LOVE AND TRUST, OR WILL MY ACTIONS DESTROY IT? I CAN ONLY SPEAK FOR MOST FEMALES . . . I JUST WANT SOMEONE WHO LOVES ME, ACCEPTS ME FOR WHO I AM! THAT'S THE ONLY WAY TO GO, FIGHTING THE GOOD FIGHT, UNTIL THE GOOD LORD COMES AGAIN . . . THAT'S SOME KIND OF "AMEN!" (COUNTRY SONG) BLOOD SINS (ISIS) . . . GERMANY WELCOMES REFUGEES, HOLDING CHILDREN ON THE SHOULDERS OF FAMED SOCCER PLAYERS . . . LOVE YOUR GOD, LOVE YOUR FELLOW MEN, WOMEN AND CHILDREN . . . 40,000 WELCOMED, BUT 800,000 NEED PLACEMENT AND A NEW NATIONS! GERMANS ARE STOUT, AND I AM SHOCKED THAT HITLER, WITH SOME HELP FROM ITALY AND JAPAN, TRIED TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD . . . THAT SAME TENACIOUS SPIRIT, IS IN THE GERMAN DNA, TAKING ON HUGE ASS TASKS . . . BUT, THIS SMALL, BUT POWERFUL COUNTRY, CAN'T HANDLE THIS PROBLEM ALONE! THIS IS A WORLD CRISIS, AND A WORLD OPPORTUNITY TO MAKE A LASTING PEACE FOR THESE PEOPLE! BRITAIN, YOU HAVE CANADA AND AUSTRALIA TO HELP! U.S.A., GOING FROM 1500 LEGAL EMIGRANTS TO 10,000, NICE CHANGE, BUT DOESN'T CUT THE MUSTARD FOR A WORLD CRISIS, NOR PUT OUR MOUTHS AND MONEY WHERE WE NEED TO BE, FOR CHRISTIANS GETTING THEIR HEADS CUT OFF, TORTURED, MAIMED, AND STARVING! MAYBE THIS IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN MALE AND FEMALE WORLD LEADERS . . . CHANCELLOR, ANGELA MERKEL IS DOING HER FAIR SHARE OR MORE . . . RISE TO THE CHALLENGE! PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE, HILLARY CLINTON, FORMER SECRETARY OF STATE . . . IT IS THE RIGHT THING TO DO, THE HUMANITARIAN THING TO DO! AMERICA, THE MELTING POT, HAS ONLY BEEN STRENGTHENED BY A HISTORY OF THE MANTRA, OF BRINGING YOUR POOR, YOUR TIRED, AND GIVING PEOPLE THE CHANCE FOR A NEW START, IN A NEW COUNTRY, WITH THE POSSIBILITY OF THE "AMERICAN DREAM" . . . FIGHT THE GOOD FIGHT, TIL THE GOOD LORD COMES AGAIN! THAT IS SOME TYPE OF AMEN! HAPPINESS IS FIGHTING FOR A WORTHY CAUSE . . . LOVE FOR THE SYRIAN PEOPLE, QUALIFIES! FUCK ISIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DEFEAT THEM, BY TAKING ALL THEIR CITIZENS! LOL! THE GREAT CALAPHATE, WILL HAVE NOBODY TO PUSH AROUND, BEHEAD, AND MURDER . . . ISIS BETTER HOPE TO GOD, THAT THERE IS A SAVIOR! YOU ARE GOING TO NEED ONE! JESUS JOY! HE IS THE HOPE OF THE WORLD! LET'S NATION UP! MAKE PEACE HAPPEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WE CAN DO THIS WORLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Don't Hate Me. Hate MY Game!

What one has not experienced, one will never understand in print.  Isadora Duncan (1877-1927)

They say, those who can't do, teach . . . so here we go!  Just consider the source . . . 4 marriages, but for strange reasons, under very different circumstances, but, no excuses!  LOL!  Now, yesterday in church, Pastor Levi, sermon, online, started with a situation in the New Testament, when the Pharisees and the Sadducee's, the disciples of Christ, and the followers of John the Baptist, were standing around, basically arguing, about how many converts they were getting, and debating various types of doctrinal questions, and Jesus, just turned and walked away . . . he said he had to go to Samaria.  Jesus comes to a woman, who is drawing water from a well, and tells her to go get her husband, for he has the living water, he wants to share with her and her man.  She tells Jesus that she has no husband, and he can see through her avoidance of the issue, and said, that is because you have had 5 husbands, and the man you are living with now, it not your husband!  She admits, that he must be someone with spiritual powers, to know her life situation, and then she tried to change the subject.  Later, she goes into the city, tells the people of this teacher, this prophet, this seer.  Having had 4 husbands, I can relate to the woman at the well!  LOL!

But, there are lessons to learn from this story . . . the living water of Jesus Christ, can heal, make new, change, bring love, cause a new heart, in people . . . he never gives up on us!  God, loves happy endings . . . and you can't judge a man or woman, happy or sad, until the day they die!

My motives for getting married, in the past, where less than noble, other than, perhaps, the first time, married according to the dictates of a dream, which was really the best man, for the job at the time!  LOL!  I was young, immature, judgmental, critical, thoughtless, and any other man, would have dumped my ass, years, before, I dumped his!  LOL!  I was probably smarter, at 19, than I have been in the decades since then! LOL!  But, the world has benefited from my marriage, life, experiences, insights, children, and that is yet to be brought into full fruition . . . the DNA, contributions of both spouses, combination of personalities, strengths and weaknesses, have blended to make, very balanced and wonderful children, who are just coming into their own; therefore, were my decisions a mistake, or just part of the plan?  Only time and God, can tell that, and he never, never, never, gives up on us.  I like to think, we fuck up our lives, and he fixes it, then we fuck it up again, and he fixes it again, and that process goes on until we die.  Now, that same principle, can work within the confines, protections, and benefits of marriage also, I just have not chosen the route much . . . about every 5 years or so, I get, what I sometimes look at, as weak, and think I need a man to get old with, but I keep feeling younger, so, catch and release, seems to be my phishing expeditions for men . . . and frankly, girls, I am getting better looking men, now, than I ever did in my younger, hotter years . . . but, I have a better personality, and I am more fun, and I think, it has, literally taken, me, many men, and many years, to understand, marriage, men, women, what makes us tick, and what works, or at least what doesn't work!  LOL!  See, now someone who hasn't had this much experience, could not teach you like this!

There is hope for me, my grandmother, who was married to the same man, for about 40 to 50 years, and, yes, it was much like a business, separate beds, but with two successful careers, and 4 wonderful children, a great life, respected, and admired by many, my grandmother, finally, got the man of her dreams, or a lover at age 78.  She stuck out the first marriage, not knowing better, or at least being smart enough to see that this union, was, while not always fulfilling personally, maybe sexually, was stable, good, kind, and secure, which is saying a lot, but at 78, grandmother remarried after about 15 years of living without a spouse . . . that is what having a life will do for you women, one separate and aside, meaningful, and cool, on her own, but she ran into a man, who had been looking for her for 8 years, since his wife died and he heard that her husband, was also deceased, having dated once in college, and lost touch of each other, they finally ran into each other.  Sometimes, who we marry for the business side of a marriage, is not, necessarily who we are most fulfilled by, and my aunt and uncles, father, and the children of the first marriage, were pissed, when grandmother read love poems at this new partner, of 6 wonderful years together, at his funeral.  My father and his siblings, were mad that grandmother didn't read love poems to their father!  He didn't make her feel the same way . . . grandpa sat in his arm chair, watching football, the news and reading the newspaper, while grandmother taught college, was dean of women, developed her skills as an artist, musician, poet, singer, actress, tater, and traveled the world!  Leo adored grandma, and my grandpa, had a good life with her!

The Best is Yet to Come . . . God is NOT Finished with Me!

I am a tough case, and he probably, knew, that I was going to be a pain in the ass, not only to him, but to men in general, especially, men who want to control me, either through marriage, power, abuse, sex, threats, doubles, stripping me of all earthly goods, property, and evidence of previous lives!  LOL!  The scriptures say, the Lord, chastises those he loves . . . well, he must love me a shit load, because, this is beyond ridiculous!  LOL!  I will make you humble . . . good luck!  I am glad, however, that I read the scriptures, when I was young, because, I have sure needed to rely on them and they have served as a source, if not of comfort, of thought and contemplation . . . and that, for some reason, I find solace in!  But, I believe, that marriage is not about the other partner in the marriage, but about your own perfection, and this other person in just a mirror of who we are at the time, we attract at particular person to us . . . and that is a scary thought!  LOL!  Interpol, CIA, FBI, assassins, bounty hunters . . . very interesting, but that seems to be my world!  Could it be my politics, or my charming personality?  It is interesting, if nothing else, and maybe when I am ready to give up the fire in my belly for politics, I will attract a different type of man, not an enemy in sheep's clothing!  LOL!  But, it is my game, and I am going to PLAY IT!  LOL!

God, gives us many opportunities, to get a mirror of ourselves, to work on that, personal perfection . . . and it is not always a pretty face, looking back at us!  And, I am more than just another pretty face!  LOL!  As, my temporary landlord, Sam, has found out . . . yesterday, we worked our way out of the honeymoon period, and I am speaking figuratively, I pay $10 a night to recliner surf, on Sam's chair, while I decide, which man is my next, wiling victim!  LOL, offered on the sacrifice alter of either a relationship, or if he is game, even to exploring what fucked up, sides of ourselves we need to work on next . . . some people get it right the first time and work things out with one partner, but I am a complex human being, and a difficult woman to deal with, to say the least, and gamier than hell, big game trophy, with attitude; therefore, the hunter or the hunted, better have his shit together, be man enough to deal with me, smart enough to deal with me and be able to ride the bitch the full 8 seconds, or don't get on!  My last husband, Frank, aka, Allan Rex Bess, better known as AB or Absolute Bastard . . . faked his own suicide to get out of the marriage, I tried to annul, two months after this fateful marriage, most likely between equals, but total warriors, with different agendas, political outcomes in mind, and whatever differences!  Someone asked me if I loved him, and the answer, still it, YES!  LOL!  But we could not stand each other!  LOL!

I still love all my abusive, government, FBI Dating Game line-ups . . . I just can't live with them, and they want to kill me, for leaving their sorry assed egos!  LOL!  Men who have slept with over 800 women, do not dig being left, by the one who got away, especially, when their offering of love, was merely to get you under their THUMB!  It used to be okay, back in the Victorian era, which someone accused me of still being a part of, seeing my modesty and puritan thoughts, at least sometimes . . . hey, I am a woman, and i reserve the right to change my mind, my mood, and my morals at any given time, depending on how I feel tat that time!  You say, morals are not relative . . . you are not a woman!  LOL!  Song lyrics, I am riding that fast train down . . . probably!  LOL!  I am fascinated by psychology, so this if fun for me, not necessarily for the martyr partner, who must be into sadomasicism!  Or self hatred for tangling with me!  LOL!  Like I said, any guy who is game is in for the ride of his life!  Rachel may be younger, prettier, but she is much tamer . . . I am gamy as any wild animal, feral status for sure, so hang onto your hat cowboys!  LOL! FREE RIDERS . . . OH, YEAH!

Not Recommended for Amateurs . . . I Would, Haven't, But Would If I Thought Necessary, Repent for Fornication, but Not for Sleeping with My Black Lovers!  That is Another Aspect of My Punishment!  LOL!  No Respecter of Persons!  Men, Lovers!  All Sizes, Shapes and Colors!  LOL!

So, yesterday, and my poor, up tight, bigoted father, in the old fashioned, not Christ-like, Mormon Church . . . could not handle me experiencing chocolate, without, nuts, my coffee, black without cream or sugar, straight, hard core, hot black, lovers!  There is this racist father, who got on YouTube, and warned the new Black Panthers, Black Lives Matter, and Black people, in Texas, told the cops to stand aside, and he, and his fellow, KKK, white supremacists, armed with sling-shots, were coming after black activists, and they are going to run them out of town!  LOL!  Well, some black activists, and a guy not much smaller than this white cracker, ass prejudice asshole, much like my father, cowboy hat, on, was confronted by a particular, man, who looked like a ZZ Tops, sharp dressed man, that women dig, and stood up to this bully, and brought up the fact that he own daughter was dating a black, or had been and that he was furious about that fact, and that white men had long been jealous of black penis power . . . those Mandingo's!  Super stud black slaves, that were used for breeding!  I loved it, this guy didn't know what to say, he just stood there tongue tied!  I thought of my own dear old pop, and he would have mouthed off just like that, hell he can't handle President Obama, being so successful, even with the Republican controlled Congress!  Smart is smart, and I don't do dumb!

I don't know if Miles and Howard, are typical, of eastern boys, but, women of letters, have a hard time finding men of pedigree, education, and politics, in the west, it is the eastern educational snobbery or something. but I haven't met a white guy with an I.Q. of 168, nor with a father that worked for the U.S. Department of Transportation in Washington, D.C., and who was cooler than hell, loved my ass, and didn't want me to change one thing . . . or should I take the white red-neck, totally crude, rude, and prejudice, who can't know what going to law school is like, nor do they appreciate and woman with an advanced degree, and they just want this brassy bitch to shut the hell up, and we will shoot your ass, if you don't!  LOL!  Or how about Howard who was more like a husband to me, that any other man, protective, fun to go to McDonald's with, while he and I, put on our spectacles to read the morning newspaper, he focusing on the sports, me, on politics, saying if we ever got together, that he would have to get up early in the morning and purview the morning newspaper, cutting out the controversial topics and articles . . . he would say, too early Honey, and I responded by telling him that I was going to do likewise for him, and if the Yankees lost to the Red Sox or the Cubs, I would cut that article out of the newspaper before it ruined his day!  LOL!  Now, both, Miles and Howard, who's father wanted to be an FBI agent, but due to prejudice, settled for being in the leadership of Rutgers University, and his grandfather a doctors, all came from New Jersey!  But, Howard, was fun, cool, we agreed politically, but for guns, and we loved the outdoors!  I will love both of these men til the day I die, for exposing me to another aspect of life, or living, the black reality, black love and black sex . . . if it ain't easy, it ain't worth taking . . . song lyrics!  This blog is not going where I want it to go, but I am going to lunch, Sam is waiting in the car!

GAMES, GAMES, GAMES . . . GOTTA LOVE'EM!

IF YOU GOT A GOOD THING, IT BEST BE SHAKEN!

GOTTA LOVE, LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  LOL!

YOU CAN CALL ME LUCIFER, IF YOU THINK YOU SHOULD! (BOB SEGAR SONG--FUN CARTOON (1970) SWEARING. BIBLICAL SWEARING . . . YOU CAN'T SAY, EITHER "YEA" OR "NA"; THEREFORE YOU ALL SWEAR, SO CHILL OUT! LOL! MY FUN, COLORFUL, AND ADVENTURESOME DAY WITH SAM FARMER (THE BOSTONIAN, CAME IN THE 70'S), ME (CALIFORNIA BORN, UTAH RAISED, ARRIVED FALL OF 2012) AND LYNN JACOBSON (THE LOCAL BOY, KALISPELL, MT. BORN AND RAISED HERE),SHOWING ME THEIR OLD STOMPIN' GROUNDS . . . LAKESIDE, BIGFORK, MONTANA . . . HOME OF THE VIKING DRAGON RACES, THE GARDEN BAR & GRILL, POPULATION: DRUNK! LOL! THEN ON DOWN THE ROAD TO "THE RAVEN" BAR & GRILL, LOOKING AT WATER SKIERS, JET SKI'S, BOATS, SWIMMERS, DOCKS, AND PATIO DECK DINING . . . SHARK'S TEETH BARED, POSTERS, "SEE YOU AT THE RAVEN!" LOCAL'S NIGHT, TUESDAY, MARGARITA'S! BEAUTIFUL FALL SCENERY ON THE FLATHEAD LAKE AND SURROUNDING AREAS, GRAPE VINEYARDS, ORCHARDS, TEE PEES MADE OF CEMENT, FRIED SHRIMP AND CALAMARI, CHICKEN SANDWICHES, BRATZ, HOME CUT FRIES, TIKI HUT DRINKS . . . THIS VIRGIN HEAD, GOT A BUZZ OUT OF ONE SIP OF SAM'S TIKI DRINK--LAYERS OF RUM, PINEAPPLE AND MANGO--VERY TASTEFULLY DISPLAYED! LYNN MISSED THE STEP, I VOLUNTEERED TO BE THE DESIGNATED DRIVER, BUT SAM WAS DOING BETTER THAN THIS VIRGIN MORMON, NON-DRINKER--HE INSISTED HE SHARE HIS DRINK WITH ME, AND DIDN'T KNOW I AM A NON-DRINKER--OH? . . . BUT FOR MY SIP ON THE NECTOR OF THE GOD'S, I MIGHT HAVE BEEN OFFERED AS THE VIRGIN SACRIFICE, TONIGHT AT THE TORCH LITE, VOLCANO FIRED, BAR & GRILL, OVERLOOKING CAY'S BAY AND BOAT MARINA, BIGFORK . . . WE WERE HOWEVER, A WEEK, EARLY FOR THE "CHALK'N ROCK", NEXT WEEKEND, SEPTEMBER 19, 2015 . . . BABY SISTER, RACHEL'S BIRTHDAY . . . HERE'S TO YOUR REAL IDENTITY, RACH! LOL! I SHOULD HAVE INCLUDED A PICTURE OF MYSELF! LOL! HOT CHICK THAT I AM! LOL! NEXT TIME . . . OH, FAVORITE PICS IN THE GARDEN BAR, A POLAR BEAR, LAYING ON ITS BACK IN THE SNOW, AND ABOUT 20 HOT GUYS, OUT CELEBRATING GOOD TIMES AT WAYFARERS STATE PARK, WITH THE CAPTION, "TOO FEW CHICKS PARTY" . . . WHY DID I WASTE MY REALLY HOT BODY, HOT DAYS? THAT I WILL NEVER KNOW--MAYBE FOR THE BEST, BUT THE BEST IS YET TO COME! ALWAYS THE OPTIMIST! JUST FUCKIN' DIG LIFE! CARPE DIEM, SEIZE THE DAY! THAT LINE IS FROM THE MOVIE, "DEAD POET SOCIETY" WITH ROBIN WILLIAMS . . . PERHAPS A FORESHADOWING OF HIS TRAGIC END . . . A BRILLIANT MAN.

The Bostonian, The Utahan, And The Local

What a combination of chums to hang out with!  LOL!  Sam is the ultimate tour guide, and has been trying to get me to go to Boston with him for about three years, but I can never discipline my money, enough to save the $1,000 which is totally cheap, to go with him, because, I am always tripping around the wild, wild, west, from Durango, Colorado, to Beaver Dam, Arizona, to Las Vegas, Nevada, back up through Utah, Idaho, and back to my adopted state, Montana, that I still, daily renew my love affair with! All roads, eventually, lead back to Montana, and generally, Kalispell, with the Flathead Lake, Valley, and Glacier National Park, the beauty is hard to beat! Just the eye candy I saw, just yesterday, is enough to make me stay . . . the fake cop, sitting in the cop car at the top of the hill, coming down into Lakeside, from Somer, almost tells the story of the state to me . . . with a population of just barely over one million, and the 4th largest state in the Union, the mantra seems to be, Just Get-R-Done!  Meaning, take care of business, in whatever manner you can.  I laugh every time I drive by, not just one fake dummy in the sheriff's car, but now two, a cowboy cop, sitting in another cop car parked along Main Street, which is all part of highway 93, seems to get the job done, making speeders, hit the brakes, and other drivers, checking to see if the cop is the real one or the fake, and you can't tell, until you are right on it, and a real cop would have nailed your ass, if you were speeding to that point.  LOL!  FUN, COLORFUL, PEOPLE . . . NEVER DULL! The fake cops, comfy on the city budget, and easy to get along with in the department, at any time, could be substituted for the real McCoy, and you could end up getting a ticket if you speed through the sleepy resort town of Lakeside, that was alive and hopping yesterday, with color, the smell of great food, colorful people, boats, serving as an accent color to the beautiful Flathead Lake, that changes colors, with each season, and is a brilliant display of color, in the fall, simply off the charts gorgeous!

My son, Chris, thinks I ought to be a tour guide for Montana . . . I come about as cheap as the dummy cops!  LOL!  I love the whole state so much, that I can't help myself, from talking, writing and promoting the place . . . the first place I saw was the state Capitol Building, in Helena, talk about going from the very bland, state Capitol Building in Utah, where I had not just one office, but two, one off the Rotunda, that is now occupied by the Lt. Governor's people now.  My other office, downstairs, was stolen by the legislature, who are only around, 45 days a year and kicked the assistant attorney generals out, who work all year . . . still pissed and being kicked off the Hill, and being housed downtown more, far less convenient, when you could slip into a committee meeting, or watch a general session, during a break, or when assigned to track a bill through the session!  Oh, well . . . but the symbolic representation of the state capitol buildings alone, tells the truth of the states, and the make up of the state. 

Contrasts and Comparisons, People and Buildings 

The Utah Capitol Building, which is a beautiful building and modeled after the Capitol Building in Washington, D.C., has very muted colors, pastels, all white granite stone work, and there was a tornado, a very rare event in Utah, that took out all the trees, both at the Capitol, and at Memory Grove, in about 1999 . . . which is sad, because, the Hill looked like it had been skinned alive . . . perhaps that was symbolic too!  LOL!  I would like that . . . but, the Montana state Capitol Building, is both homey, comfortable, down home, with quilts hanging on the walls in the Secretary of States, office, where I stopped to get a copy of the state constitution, to see if I liked it, and could preserve, defend and protect, it, as much as I could the United States Constitution . . . and yes, I can, and have . . . with the Salisth-Kootenai Water Compact; however, other oath taking attorneys, and legislators do not see the constitutions and violations the same way I do . . . oh, well, your loss!  The tax payers, water users, farmers and ranchers . . . the Indians, however, are very happy, with Kerr Dam, Hungry Horse, and now the Flathead . . . Nice, but, at least on the last one, unconstitutional as hell, but who am I to say, just a member of the United States Supreme Court Bar, oh, well, don't listen to me, just the former, #2 in the nation for civil rights defense . . . water rights, vetted and recorded, are property rights, as long as the citizen, uses them!  You can't sit on your property rights!

Anyway, the Montana State Capitol Building is just like the people, colorful, multi-ethnic, hell, during the copper king era, in Butte, there were 30 different ethnic peoples represented in that historic and famous mining town . . . there used to be 4 African American or Black newspapers, 39 Chinese laundries, 1,000 working gals on the streets, a ton of Irish, Finnish, and other emigrants, making up that town that was larger and more modern, the second city next to New York, where e Edison, installed electric lamp lights, that San Francisco, and the largest city, west of the Mississippi.  If you are passing through Butte, check out the new, Labor History Museum, up on Park Street, next to the Butte Shop!  You can get a tour of the old Miner's Bank, that housed the Great American Fur Store, and other cool stuff, movies, information, lectures on the history, from an author of several books, Richard, someone, who is alleged to know a shit load about the town . . . colorful, history, the story of labor unions, which is the story of America, really, with hanging, government forcing strikers back to work during the war, mining fires and disasters, with Montana leading the nation, with pioneers in the are of workers comp, fighting to protect miners and other worker, in this era of expansive growth, both in the west, Montana, but in the imperial days of industrialization of the nation . . . AMAZING STUFF . . . this is not ordinary stuff, it is Butte stuff . . . and that is TOUGH!

The state Capitol Building reflects this flavor, tenacity, with eras of vigilante justice, tough workers, corrupt politicians, you have it all!  I wasn't born in Montana, but I got here as soon as I could!  The Dragon Boat Races, the Garden Bar, the Raven, the Sitting Duck, the Tiki Bar and Grill, the vintage signs, the colors, the flavor, the wild stories and caricatures . . . beyond, your normal characters, these are people, stories, histories, and fun, right out of the best movies!  Sam told us of the time he and all his hippy friends, came to Montana in the 70's, to have, what he calls, his country experience, rented Forest Land and housing, for, get this, $10 a month, and hung out, near Woods Bay, overlooking the Flathead, the absolutely most beautiful, elegant, lake I have ever seen . . . when the Tamarack trees turn to solid gold, set in between the pines and spruce, along with the fall colors of the orchards and vineyards, on a rainy day, with the purple, white and gray, clouds, in the background . . . fucking, amazingly beautiful!!!!! Oh, I forgot the story . . . but, Sam, used to walk from Woods Bay to the old, Mountain Tavern, in Bigfork, that burned down, years ago, but they would all gather, as the 70's Bohemians would do, and someone would break out their guitar, for music and songs, or another person would read poetry, or a real band would show up for a dance.  After hours of fun, frolic, and whatever, the whole population of the bar, would be drunk, as is the sign, out back of the Garden Bar . . . with a sign appropriately named, Sam's Place, and there may be more history to that sign, that I know . . . with the new movie, Black Mass(achusetts) with Johnny Deep, playing Boston gangster, Whitey Bolger, I wondered, as Sam pointed out the plaque on the wood beam, out back in the yard, filled with vintage signs, way cool, but it says, Dedicated by Ronald Reagan, President of the United States, William F. Bolger, Postmaster General, or something like that, my yellow legal pad, got lifted yesterday . . . for Shelley's birthday, September 13, 1953, so she could claim, home turf in my writings, of the area, close to Finley's Point?  Maybe . . . I am sitting right here at McDonald's, in Playplace Land . . . not at a ranch or a cabin, that was purchased with my blog money, Shelley claims.  Forgot the waitresses at the Mountain Tavern, vintage sign in the yard too . . . but the waitresses, used to wake the drunken crowd and sing, it is time to go home, we are closing down, as they walked around and kicked the feet of the remaining patrons of the tavern!  He said, they always did this in good fun, at the end of a long Friday or Saturday night, at 2:00 A.M.!

Local Folklore and Story Behind The Garden Bar Signs

I love law, and stories related to the law, with this one reminding me of an eminent domain case, I believe in New York, near Union Station, where an older woman or man, had a house, on prime down town property, refusing to be bought, frightened, or pushed out of her home, with two skyscrapers, being forced to build around her very humble and modest home!  This story is somewhat like that.  Some older woman, probably a widow, lived on Main Street in Bigfork, Mt., and the Garden Bar, was housed next door.  There is a really cool, outside stage for bands to play, in the yard, which I am assuming from the story, that was out in the open at the time and made a shit load of noise, back in the day, Sam thought, around 1972, and finally, the old woman, had it, with trying to sleep with all the revelers and partiers, that came a calling, dancing and drinking, at the bar each night.  So, finally, she said, she was not going to put up with it any more . . . so, i the good neighbor fashion, the bar didn't complain, they built a huge ass wood wall, separating the widow's property from the bar, and continued to serve the drunken population of the city and surrounding areas! LOL!

And as a result of the deal, with this rather high and wide empty wall, other store owners, contributed their old signs, that were either used to advertise their businesses in town, or they were donated, after their doors closed, but the signs are fun and cool to read, and see . . . the bar is completely enclosed, in a yard and wall, with tons of eye candy and history on the signs!  I wrote down the best signs, but, as I said, my legal pad with all my notes, just up and walked away; therefore, I will try to remember, from my somewhat photographic memory, some of the more colorful signs: Worm Farm. Nifty Needles and Notions, The Rendezvous Lounge, The Bigfork Hotel, Bigfork Pop 484, Sam's Place--both sides of the door, leaving, The Mountain Tavern Lounge, Something Pub and Eatery, plastic sharks and marlins, neon signs, Wild Montana, Wilderness . . . mountain scene and moon over the pine trees, anyway, you get my jest . . . fun place, great food, as many old photos and signs inside as out, and a vintage bar to match!  FUN!!!!!  Sam said, I don't show you no junk!  Damned right . . . great, fun, cool day!

Perfect Stage, "My Rust" . . . Son's New CD!  

And, I want my son's band, The Ditch and the Delta to play the yard and stage at the Garden Bar, and rock the town! the lake, the mountains . . . son, Elliot's band, played Denver last night, music is as colorful, wild, rowdy as this bar, a perfect match.  I asked El, if he wanted me to hook him up, and he said, no, he could handle that . . . very competent son, must take after his mother!  Bragging rights!  LOL!  Supernatural music, two musician sons, on western, hard core, southern rock, and the other son, electronic music on the synthesizers and computer, more hip hop and rap stuff!  That scratching the record stuff! Daddy Secrist gets that bragging right, sons heard dad, practice the guitar nightly . . . amazing the influences a parent has, known or unknown, tangible and untangible, never to be discounted, nor forgotten!  Most hated thing by God, an ungrateful heart!  Some fun pictures . . . outside bar, the Garden yard, Lynn and Sam, the prophet, tour director, extraordinaire!  Great guys, great fun, totally cool day . . . at The Raven, Sam noticed a hot body, younger man, and asked me if I was ever with guys like that . . . ONLY IF THEY ARE SMART! LOL!  I am renting Sam's couch for a few days, and I love to look at this very scholarly man's books, they tell the story of his interests and likes . . . the Intellectual, No Excuses: The Unapologetic Campaigner, Loyalties, books on movies . . . he loves those.  Both Sam and I have a passion for vocabulary, he always tests me to see if I know the meaning and spelling of the words he uses . . . generally do!  Scored in the 200th% in vocabulary, when friend at BYU, doctoral student in education, tested me . . . I am not much of a reader, but I have a great listening comprehension, and a knack for understanding the meaning of words!

Get out to BigFork next weekend . . . Chalk-N-Rock, or something like that, Sept. 19!  Check out the quaint town, down town shopping and restaurants, Bigfork Inn, Playhouse Theater, and the new Bigfork Brewry . . . way cool!  I told Sam, with all the dock log beams, seaside decor on Flathead Lake, I don't need to go to Boston, save the money, and go to Bigfork, Lakeside, and other towns on the drive around this amazing lake!  Fall leaf spectacular!

If I had a truck or car, without fear of getting blown up in another pipe bomb . . . Whitey! I would make my way through all of Montana, like I did before my truck was stolen by sheriffs and my car blown up in Salt Lake City, Utah . . . houses, vehicles, furniture and law practice, not cheap items to replace!  But I would come to your town, your celebrations over their in the eastern, and southeastern side of the state!  I have seen brochures and tourist magazines . . . SOON!

WITH MONTANA, IT'S LOVE!

OKAY, SO, I AM PARANOID! WATCHING TOO MUCH, "DEADLY WOMEN!" FRIEND, SAM FARMER, 77, SET HIS NEW ALARM CLOCK, FOR 4:00 A.M., THE TIME HE HAS TO BE UP FOR HIS FLIGHT TO BOSTON . . . PRACTICING! I HEARD THE ANNOYING ALARM GO OFF, OR WAS COGNITIVE OF IT, BY 5:34 A.M. TO BE EXACT! I HEARD IT EARLIER, BUT, DRIFTED BACK TO SLEEP. SAM IS AN EARLY RISER, SO THAT MADE IT EVEN STRANGER, THAT HE WAS NOT UP. MY FIRST THOUGHT WAS THAT HE DIED! THEN, I THOUGHT, I AM BEING FRAMED FOR HIS MURDER! LOL! NOT FUNNY, UNTIL I, FINALLY, KNOCKED ON THE HIS DOOR, AND HE MADE A SOUND! RELIEF! WHAT WILL "THEY" THINK OF NEXT! LOL! MY HELL . . . SHOULD I JUST PACK UP MY SHIT AND RUN? CALL THE COPS? NO . . . THEY WOULD BLAME ME! LOL! WELL, HE WAS HEALTHY YESTERDAY! STRANGE WOMAN WALKED THROUGH THE COMMUNITY TV ROOM, AFTER SAM WENT TO BED, WHILE I WATCHED THE "LATE SHOW WITH STEPHEN COLBERT" . . . THE DOOR WAS OPEN A CRACK, EVEN THOUGH I HAD A KEY TO SAM'S APARTMENT. HE COULD HAVE BEEN DEAD EVEN BEFORE I GOT UP TO HIS ROOM, DEAD ALL NIGHT! LOL! NICE . . . I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD, SAM! WHAT THE HELL, A 2 HOUR ALARM! NO HEARING AID IN, BUT REALLY! LOL! THANK GOD, I AM NOT ONE TO WALK IN SOMEONE'S ROOM . . . RIGHT TO PRIVACY! EVEN WHEN I THINK THE MAN IS DEAD! LOL! A FEW HEART PALPITATIONS THIS MORNING . . . AND WE WERE GOING TO THE DRAGON BOAT RACES AT LAKESIDE! I WOULD NEVER KILL SAM, OFFICER . . . HE IS MY RIDE TO THE RACES! AND TONS OF FUN . . . NOT IN MY CHARACTER! LOL! THERE WOULD BE NO MOTIVE! THE CRIMINAL DEFENSE ATTORNEY IN ME! LOL! I WOULD HAVE TO DEFEND MYSELF, NEED THE BEST IN MY PROFESSION! LOL! WELL, AT LEAST I AM NOT BORING! LOL! HELL, IF I WERE GOING TO KILL SAM, IT WOULD HAVE TO BE AFTER TODAY, FOR GOD SAKE . . . THE BIG FORK, CHALK THE ROCK FESTIVAL IN BIG FORK, AND THE DRAGON BOAT RACES, AFTER SAM BUYS ME BREAKFAST AT MCDONALD'S, WHERE WE BOTH GO EACH MORNING! HELL, NO, I COULDN'T MURDER HIM, AT LEAST UNTIL MONDAY! LOL! JUST KIDDING OFFICERS . . . WHAT WOULD I BENEFIT, I'M NOT ON HIS INSURANCE POLICY! LOL! SEX IS OUT OF THE QUESTION, EVEN WITH A KENNEDY, THIS EARLY IN A RELATIONSHIP . . . FRIENDS FOR 3 YEARS, NOW! LOL! SO, THAT EXCUSE IS OFF THE TABLE . . . LOL! MOVING ON TO MORE SERIOUS TOPICS . . . PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE, HILLARY CLINTON, CALLS OUT CANDIDATE, DONALD TRUMP! I LOVE IT! WE NEED TO GET DOWN AND DIRTY, IN THIS COUNTRY ON SEXISM! TAKE THE GLOVES OFF AND TAKE IT TO THAT SEXIST PIG! FROM ANOTHER ERA CHICK TO ANOTHER! LOL! CALLING THE ONLY FEMALE REPUBLICAN CANDIDATE, NOT GOOD LOOKING! THAT IS HITTING BELOW THE BRA LINE, COMING FROM A GUY WHO LOOKS LIKE HIM, AND THAT HAIR! AND JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT, ONLY FEMALE CANDIDATES HAIR WAS AT ISSUE! LOL! CAN'T SOMEONE IN THE TRUMP STAFF, TELL THE TRUMPSTER, TO GET HIS HAIR SPRAYED MOP, HANGING DOWN ON HIS FOREHEAD, THAT IT MAKES HIM APPEAR SHADY, SNEAKY, AND SUSPICIOUS! HOW CAN WE, AMERICANS, TRUST A CANDIDATE THAT WE CAN'T EVEN SEE HE HAS A BRAIN, BLOCKED BY THE WAVY HAIR--IN A BAD SLIP, OPENING THE DOOR, FOR THAT SLIPPERY SLOPE, THAT OPENS THE DOOR, TO GOD KNOWS WHAT LURKS IN THAT BRAIN OF HIS, AND WILL SPILL OUT . . . WE NEED TO SEE YOUR FOREHEAD TO EVEN CONSIDER VOTING FOR YOU! LOL! GIRLS LIKE TO GET DIRTY TOO! WE CAN'T ALL LOOK LIKE MR. OR MS. UNIVERSE, COMPETING IN A BEAUTY CONTEST, BUT HILLARY AND THE REPUBLICAN CHICK, ARE MUCH CLOSER TO THAT GOAL THAN YOU ARE! LOL! WE ALSO HAVE METHODS OF MEASURING YOUR SEXUAL APPEAL FOR THE FEMALES, WHO ARE HOT BLOODED, CHECK IT AND SEE . . . WE TOO CAN PLAY THAT SHALLOW HAL GAME! YOUR JUST NOT CUTTING IT IN THE LOOKS DEPARTMENT FOR ME, DON! LOL! I AM USED TO VOTING FOR BETTER LOOKING CANDIDATES . . . AH, THE LADIES HAVE BEEN ABLE TO LOOK AT PRESIDENTIAL "EYE CANDY" FOR 6 AND A HALF YEARS NOW! NOT CUTTING MUSTARD, DON! LOL! MAYBE, FOR ONCE, SOMEONE WILL SEE THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN, SAY A HILLARY, AND THE SHRILL, SARAH PALIN, WHO IS NO LONGER A POLITICAL 3, BUT IS ABOUT A ZERO NOW, SCREAMING ABOUT THE IRAN NUKE DEAL, THAT IS A DONE DEAL! JOINING THE REST OF THE REPUBLICAN, CLOWN SHOW, GLENN BECK, COMPLAINING ABOUT THE MUSIC, ROBERTSON, DUCK DYNASTY, IS NASTY LOOKING, BUT, PRETENDING TO WANT MORE RELIGION . . . MORE PACHYDERM MONEY? THEN WE HAVE PRESIDENTIAL HOPEFULS, TED CRUZ AND MIKE HUCKABEE, DOWN, TRYING TO BE SEEN WITH KIM DAVIS, THE CLERK WHO REFUSED TO FOLLOW THE LAW, WHEN THE CITIZENS OF KENTUCKY ARE PAYING HER $80,000 PER YEAR TO DO HER FUCKING JOB, WHICH INCLUDES, ISSUING MARRIAGE LICENSES TO GAY COUPLES! NOW, SHE IS FLEXING THE MUSCLES SHE DOESN'T HAVE, OPENLY DISOBEYING A U.S. FEDERAL DISTRICT COURT JUDGE, BY SAYING SHE WILL STOP HER DEPUTIES FROM ISSUING LICENSES! JAIL HER JUDGE, AND THROUGH AWAY THE KEY, DISMISS HER FROM HER POST AS A COUNTY CLERK! THEN, WE SEE WHAT THIS, UPTIGHT, DUGGAR FAMILY, QUIVER SHIT DOES . . . THIS BIBLICAL PATRIARCHAL STUFF FROM THE BIBLE, WHICH I AM ALL ABOUT, THE CHRIST SIDE, NOT THE LAW OF MOSES CRAP! CHILD MOLESTING, INCEST, AND CHEATING, HAVING AFFAIRS IN HIS WIFE, WHO IS SUPPOSE TO TAKE THE GUILTY, NOT SATISFYING HIM IN THE MARITAL BED . . . WHAT THE FUCK, ADAM! TAKE SOME RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR OWN GODDAMNED ACTIONS, YOU SHIT HEAD! SIMPLY AMAZING . . . I NEED TO COMMENT MORE IN THE BODY OF THIS BLOG, BECAUSE, MANY OF YOUR SO CALLED, "RIGHTEOUS" MEN, ARE ANYTHING BUT THAT! HIDING BEHIND THE CLOAKS OF THE PRIESTHOOD, MALE HIERARCHY, THEN BLAMING AN INNOCENT, TRULY RIGHTEOUS WOMEN FOR THEIR WEAK CHARACTER! NO FUCKING WAY, ANN, OR WHATEVER YOUR NAME IS . . . DON'T ALLOW YOURSELF TO BE SPIRITUALLY ABUSED BY THIS FAKE, ALLEGED, RIGHTEOUS, GOD-FEARING MEN . . . THEY ARE VIPERS OF THE MOST DISGUSTING DEGREE! YUCK . . . READ MORE BELOW!

Enough Already . . . Sick of this Duggar Buggar Shit!

Now, if we look historically, at probably the most startling example of a man, King David, back in the early days of the Bible, he had 700 wives and concubines, and he still had to have that one woman he couldn't have, Bathsheba! King David, even went to the extreme measures of having her husband, Uriah, sending him into a military situation, he knew he would not return from.  So, none of this bull shit, blaming the wife, because the man can't keep his own dick under control!  Seriously, a man can win the whole world, and lose his own soul, and what does it profit him? God, just is not going to hold some wife, true, faithful, loving, and good, responsible, for her fucking, loser, husband's inadequacies as a man, needing multiple women to satisfy, his weak ego!  And it is always so amazing to me, that it is generally the men, who most proclaim righteousness . . . ah, as in Newt Gingrich, Speaker of the House, in Congress, who was accusing President Clinton, of having the affair with Monica Lewinsky, all the while carrying on an affair of his own.  Then the Republican Party, tried to replace him with another guy, who was also having and affair, so next they went after, an allegedly good guy, Dennis Haster, who seemed above reproach, while he was fucking a young man, and paying huge ass money to keep him silent, for what, 20 years!  Come on, weak men . . . we all want that man, woman, we can't have, it is human nature.  There is that old saying, Marriage is a business, if you want romance, have an affair!

Just given the nature of marriage, the bedrock of civilization and society, is hard to keep that daily buzz, sexually, and that is why, a mature person, which is the Greek or Latin word for, perfect, as in Be ye therefore perfect, as ii the Beatitudes, in the New Testament, that it takes a mature person, to look at all the advantages, purity in marriage holds, committed sex is better than uncommitted sex, married sex is considered, better than single sex, and men who are married, are the most happy, of the four categories, of married men, women, and single men and women.  And it is the married female who lands at the very bottom of the scale in this foursome.  That should be analyzed men, and that is why it is shocking that the less happy of the married couple, is the woman . . . and it is YOU, men who cheat!  Well, historically, that is true, but not any more.  I have read statistics, back a few years ago, that said, 75% of the divorces, now, are initiated by women!  And the more money they make, the better their education, the less religious they tend to be, and the less hang up they have, leaving a man, and they have the ability to do so without much financial pain!  

The song, I'm going to walk like a man, talk like a man, you can call me a MAN!  It is about time!  I think the reason, these allegedly righteous men, want to keep the status quo with ISIS, so they can keep having their cake and eat it too!  And if women are stupid enough to go along with this bull shit, they deserve the cheating bastards they get!  Christ, continually elevated women, always, always, always . . . in the Gnostic Gospel, uncannonized, of course, we couldn't have Christ, elevating women, we might have to actually respect them . . . Donald Trump!  Christ's mother, Mary, taught in the upper rooms of the temple! Christ had a cadre of women, missionaries and teachers, who followed him around and promoted him.  He appeared to Mary, after his resurrection, and used her to go tell the apostles that he had risen.  Scripture has it, that God is not respecter of persons, black, white, Jew, Gentile, male or female . . . do ya, think you could vote for a female?  God good, do we not want to progress, as is the plan for humanity, for America, for the world, and give women equal status . . . WHAT the FUCK ARE MEN AFRAID OF?

A FEMALE PRESIDENT?

I look at the ungodly number of Republican presidential candidates, what 15, now that Governor, Rick Perry dropped out, like he had a prayer of a chance anyway, even coming from Texas!  LOL!  But, I just don't see that the alleged, Grand Old Party, even with the number of candidates, has much to offer America!  I mean, a real estate broker, what the hell does that have to do with running a country?  A billionaire, better on Hillary's cabinet, dealing with domestic economic policies, that she may or may not be weak on . . . I mean she did rule the roost from behind the scenes, during a very prosperous time in America, when the economy was thriving!  Ben Carson, a physician . . . yeah, and your point?  Even a great surgeon, what in the fuck does that have to do with serving over a country of roughly 400 million people?  Bernie Sanders, a Senator, well, yeah, cool, but Hillary, has done that too!  Come on!  We have one of the best resumes, most experienced people, female aside, in the country, and you will not consider voting for her?  WHY?  Because of party label, her sex, you don't think she is trustworthy, really?  Why, because she didn't handle her emails, like a man?  Like Colin Powell?  As far as I have read and seen, in all the hearings, questioning of both the email situation, and Benghazi, the two, bugaboos, that seem to cause a burr up the butts of the Republicans, there is really, not much to go on!

In, what 22 hearings on Benghazi, the talking points came from the CIA, whom would want Mitt, and might be accused of having played politics, giving the President his morning briefing, with Mitt's mouth flapping, before the President had a chance to digest what happened over in Libya, with the Embassy and the Ambassador, again, putting responsibility on those least responsible, and most removed from what was going on in that region of the world.  Of, course a President, a man, will take responsibility, like President Obama did, because he is not only a great president, but a great person, who says, the buck stops here . . . unlike the Duggar men, the Republican men, who want to blame the women for their ills, which in this case, would be Susan Rice and Hillary . . . who did nothing more than take the CIA, talking points, not being in Libya, themselves, and then in turn, tell the American public, what was going on, or appeared from the field officers in the CIA, who then transmitted what they thought was going on, something related to a video, trashing the Prophet Mohammad, connected with protest in Cairo!  The President was in a hot race for re-election, running the world, and Hillary, Secretary of State, was busy, taking care of business around the world . . . the CIA, had the job of reporting from around the world, what the fuck was going on!  Nobody was told to stand down, Congress had just cut, 300 million, from the needed assets, to protect our embassies, and the talking points went to other CIA, probably Mormons, who wanted to make it look like President Obama was weak on foreign policy, where Mitt was totally weak!  CIA motives . . . a Mo President!!!! Come on!

Find Me, One Person In America, More Qualified?

So, the elephant in the room, is HILLARY, but she is a donkey, or a Democrat!  So, you will trash the most qualified, by light years, and tons of experience, from knowing the world leaders, to having seen up close and person, the blood and guts of running the White House, a governor's office, a law office, working in the Senate, campaigning, and you are going to dismiss that experience?  Why?  Because you don't like her clothes, her hair, her personality?  What the fuck does any of that have to do with being president?  I just don't get it, this woman, has served, and served, and served her country, for what, her whole fucking life! Do, you seriously believe, that while she was first lady of Arkansas, of the country for two terms, she was just sitting there twiddling her thumbs, or do you think the most powerful man in the free world, at that time, President Clinton, was discussing strategies, plans, ideas, thoughts, pillow talk with his WIFE, a very, very smart woman . . . even with his human frailties, that were HIS fault, not Hillary's, hell, he is at least smart enough to stick with, what could be the most powerful woman in the world!  Monica Lewinsky?  Blah . . .   whatever!  Jennifer Flowers . . . Yuck!  What's the other chick's name . . . that should say something about the comparison between the affairs and the real thing . . . AMERICA'S POWER COUPLE!

And on top of Hillary, no pun, intended, you get two for the price of one, just like you did when Bill was the Prez., EXPERIENCE COUNTS!  Boyz . . . in my case, and in Hillary's case . . . put the fucking bedroom, away, totally, from the boardroom, the war room, the Oval Office!  

When the nation, even considered, Senator McCain's running mate, Sarah Palin . . . one heart beat away from the presidency?  Are you serious?  I remember after the vice presidential debate, looking at the Drudge Report and seeing, what a mockery of women, jokes, thong swimsuits, with McCain, kissing Sarah Palin's exposed ass!  Many men, said, well, if we can't stand listening to her . . . at least they were honest about that, shrill, to the point of screeching, they said, at least we can LOOK AT HER!  What, a classification and plus in voting for her?  Put the bitch in Playboy, don't vote for her for V.P.!  Good God!  Seeing Sarah Palin, bitching to the crowd, about the Iran Nuke deal, just reminded me of how, stupid, people were to even consider her for White House maid!  It is a huge jump, going from Wassila, Alaska, to governing the state of Alaska . . . which she never even finished her term of office, those scandals!  But to go from Wassila, straight to the White House, are you FUCKING KIDDING!  We have a nation at stake, we don't need looks!  Don, and you are the last one to be commenting!  We need someone smart! experienced, thoughtful, cautious, insightful, calm, cool and collected under pressure . . . as Secretary of State, we know that Hillary can do that . . . she was fucking perfect, in 8 hours of Senate confirmation hearings . . . the woman is good!  Get real, who is the best, the most qualified, and that should determine, who you vote for, not someone with an elephant or a donkey stamped on their asses!

FUCK WHO YOU WILL FUCK . . . VOTE FOR WHO YOU SHOULD VOTE FOR!

A LITTLE COMMON SENSE MIGHT HELP!

CHARMED TO DEATH . . . PSYCHOPATHS & SOCIOPATHS: IF A PSYCHOPATH IS NOT LYING, STEALING AND MANIPULATING . . . THEY ARE NOT HAVING ANY FUN! THAT'S MY MONEY IN YOUR POCKET, AND BECAUSE I AM SO MUCH SMARTER THAN YOU, I'LL GET THAT MONEY FROM YOU! EXPOSED! A PSYCHOPATH'S NEED FOR LOVE, IS A DISTANT SECOND TO MONEY! THEY THINK THEY ARE MUCH MORE CLEAVER THAN POLICE . . . THE FUN IS TAKING ADVANTAGE OF PEOPLE, AND WHAT THEY CAN GET FROM THEM! IT IS MORE COMMON FOR WOMEN THAN MEN TO HAVE GREED AS A MOTIVE . . . GREED DRIVEN WOMEN, WILL USE MURDER WHEN BUSINESS IS CRIPPLED . . . THEY SEE MURDER AS A SOLUTION TO SURVIVAL! SOCIOPATHS, GENERALLY HAVE I HIGHER THAN AVERAGE INTELLIGENCE . . . THEY CHOSE MONEY OVER MORALITY. THEY ARE INSANE ABOUT SPENDING MONEY! MANY PSYCHOPATHS AND SOCIOPATHS CAN ONLY FEEL PLEASURE WHEN THEY ARE INFLICTING PAIN ON OTHERS. THEY USE SEX TO GET WHAT THEY WANT, AND WHAT THEY WANT IS MONEY! MOST OF THEM ARE DISTURBED, AND DEATH AND PLEASURE ARE ENTWINED . . . AND THERE IS USUALLY A SEXUAL COMPONENT TO THEIR CRIMES. PSYCHOPATHS BELIEVE THEY WERE MISTREATED, AND THEY NEED TO TAKE REVENGE ON THE WORLD. MANY TAKE THAT REVENGE THROUGH SADISTIC PLEASURE, SEEING THE PAIN INFLICTED ON OTHERS . . . WHERE THERE IS DEATH, THERE IS PLEASURE. A TALE, TALE SIGN OF A SOCIOPATH IS, THERE IS NO REMORSE FOR THEIR DEEDS . . . THEY OFTEN SEE THEMSELVES AS ANGLES OF DEATH. GENERALLY, SPEAKING, THEY ARE CLEARHEADED, CALCULATING, COLD, METHODICAL AND LIKE TO BRAG ABOUT WHAT THEY DO. THEY FEEL IMPORTANT SPENDING MONEY, OTHER PEOPLE'S MONEY IS EVEN BETTER. THERE IS A DEEP SEEDED NEED FOR POWER, AND POWER OVER SOMEBODY . . . MONEY, POWER, MOST ARE THRILL SEEKERS! SEEKING THE NEXT HIGH, BE IT, GETTING SOMEONE ELSE'S MONEY, KILLING SOMEONE, OR EXERTING POWER AND CONTROL OVER SOMEONE ELSE, THAT GIVES THEM PLEASURE, TURNS THEM ON . . . THEY ARE SICK, DISTURBED, AND USUALLY, BEYOND REHABILITATION! JEALOUSY IS ONE OF THE PRIME MOTIVES FOR MURDER! WHEN ALL IS SAID AND DONE, THESE ARE SCARY PEOPLE . . . THEY CAN BE CHARMING, MANIPULATIVE, AND SMART, WITH DISASTROUS RESULTS, REEKING HAVOC, DESTRUCTION, AND DEATH IN OTHER PEOPLE'S LIVES! WELCOME TO MY LIFE, MY ENEMIES, MY FAMILY, THE SISTA CLUB, ADDED TO THE COP WORLD, WITH ACCESS, POWER, PRIVILEGES TO INFLICT PAIN . . . PARANOID? NO . . . WITH 4 DEAD LOVERS, OR EVEN POTENTIAL LOVERS . . . 25 PEOPLE DEAD IN CONNECTION WITH CASES, THE DESIRE TO EVEN TAKE KIDS AND GRAND KIDS, THROUGH PAID INFILTRATORS, ENEMIES FROM WITHIN, STEALING FRIENDS, ACQUAINTANCES, CLIENTS . . . ALL PART OF THE FUN FOR THESE PSYCHOPATHS AND SOCIOPATHS! WE DON'T RECOGNIZE THEM, BECAUSE WE ARE NOT LIKE THEM! MONEY, POWER, PAIN, PRIVILEGE ALL TAKE PRIORITY OVER MORALS; THEREFORE, THE NORMAL PERSON, JUST CAN'T RELATE, THUS, THEY GO ALONG UNDETECTED, UNCHECKED, BECAUSE THE NORMAL PERSON, JUST CAN'T BELIEVE THEY EXIST, THEY ARE SO EVIL AND ABNORMAL! TO UNDERSTAND MY PLIGHT, YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND THE NATURE OF THE PEOPLE INVOLVED! SEE THEM IN YOUR OWN LIVES TOO!

Lethal Love . . . The Money Hungry!

Recently, since I purchased a new computer, after, the last one, was sent with a dude to California, and the next one, I was stopped from even enrolling my name, and finally, tricking, these fucking psychopaths and sociopaths, we call the NSA or the National Security Agency, who watches every fucking word I write and try to stop me, while working hand in hand with the criminals, to protect them, I have been hooked on this series called, Deadly Women, with former FBI, criminal profiler, Candice DeLong, as she looks at the various, female serial killers, psychopaths, and sociopaths, that have made of the minority of women in history, who have committed horrendous crimes that have shocked the nation, and she has tried to diagnose and digest the evil, perpetrated by these women, who have often, due to the fact that they are women, have been above suspicion and reproach, with the majority of citizens, cops, and investigators, having a hard time, assigning such acts of this nature to women!  Think again!  The tales are shocking, revealing, and notorious, with tons of information, for me, dealing with the women, and men that I am dealing with, who have been duping cops, for at least 15 years, or more . . . allegedly the credible ones, having taken on my persona, my resume, my life, my law practice, my cases, my legislative acts, and now my blog, without a hint of suspicion!

This series, has helped me to better understand, just the type of people I have been up against, running when I don't know what for, or what charged with, and being on the run for the last almost 4 fucking years, while these group of alleged, stellar, normal, family members, and former husbands, or lovers, have pulled the wool, literally, over the best and brightest in the law enforcement community, through their lies, silence, super cooperation, secrecy, inner communication systems, using the top programs the government has, making useful idiots of many smart, capable, talented men and women, RIGHT BETWEEN THE LIES!  Psychopaths and sociopaths, are great liars, smooth talkers, usually of higher intelligence, giving them and air of superiority, polished, and cleaver, thinking they will never get caught, and sometimes they don't!  That is what worries me, is that, the very people who are allegedly suppose to be watching, this type of criminal activities and enterprises, are just as blinded by them, as I was at first!  It is that old, projection thing . . . that if you are not like that, you don't see it in others, in fact, if you are honest, you are going to let things go on longer than they should, because you suspect them less than the average person would, not believing their deeds, their actions, and motives, being none of your own! 

Brett . . . "It Is Way Easier To Spend Your Money, Than AMine!" 

Thus, the very best in society, become the PERFECT VICTIMS!  This mentality is so foreign to the person, for a long time, it may appear, that person is either letting them do these crimes against them, or somehow, allowing it, and will not, or cares not to do anything, when in reality, it is so shocking, so out of character, so bizarre to them, that, they just can't believe that it is true, that there are people out there who operate on this level, especially, someone who doesn't need to resort to the low levels to succeed, earn money, get prestige, honors and privileges, who has merely accomplished, the old fashioned way, through earning, their stripes, so to say, paying their dues, making their way, without all this deception!  At times, even after seeing what is going on, still not thinking it is true, being so foreign to your own thoughts, motives, desires, and means of obtaining a level of success and acknowledgement, never having had to lies, steal, cheat, manipulate, and con people to get what you wanted in life, be it money, power, control, suing the normal means . . . ALWAYS EARNED, NEVER GIVEN!  

Most normal people with morals, believe, that you go to school, earn your degrees, get your promotions, work hard, make money, get awards, through just, damned hard work!  You climb the social, educational, power, monetary and higher levels of society, through, pure effort, in and through your own, blood, sweat, and tears, as has been done for centuries . . . the psychopaths, and sociopaths, that I am dealing with, don't see things the same way . . . a study in the macob, the strange, the bizarre, the criminal mind, enterprises, secret societies, mob order, gives insight, to exactly the stuff I have been trying to explain, all the way through this blog, that is almost 2 years old, being stolen, redirected, and robbed, both of authorship and money, since, three fucking weeks after I started writing, and with the help of Google, and government agencies . . . all useful idiots and elements in a criminal enterprise, or RICO actions!  If you want the shit, scared out of you, watch this series . . . men, you will rethink your choice of lovers, rethink insurance policies, have a more expansive thought of who your lover, wife, girlfriend might be, and what some of her actions, mean, and the same for women, dealing with men, who have been written about, and studied more . . . don't think, it will NEVER happen to ME!

Alexus . . . Alex Us!  Unbelievable!  Unconscionable!  But Real!

Jealousy is one of the number one reasons for murder!  Jealousy is an easy thing to come by in a family of 6 girls and two boys, in a very, very, materialistic family, with a definite pecking order, that was established, years before, assigning one sister, the pretty one, one the social, one the smart one, and one the nice one, etc., but when the sister, who is liked the least, and who was the least present growing up, actually, takes on all of those characteristics in one person, to the chagrin of the other, more family control, more a member of the family cliche and more a part of the family that is raised, trained, and valued, by money, power, whether husband acquired, or self acquired, which was frowned on by the Mormon mores, then there is trouble in River City, as my father would say.  The water is not green with envy, but putrefied by stench of stagnation, with little fresh water to bring, open thought, and new ideas into the fold, so to say.  History and research, shows, that the more stagnate, closed a family system is, the less healthy the family members, within that system are . . . when only one church, a family, traditions, maybe neighbors, of the same faith and beliefs, all fester, together in one system, there is going to be trouble, when someone from within that system breaks free of the sordid system . . . the need to control, overshadows rational thought, normal discourse, and familial living, love, and support . . . going somewhere beyond the boundaries, of socially acceptable behavior, to the area of lies, theft, cheating, stealing, and even murder, to give the chosen family member, the advantage over the less liked family member, who long ago, dropped the family stigma, control, and opened the floodgates, of bringing in outsider thoughts, ideas, education, knowledge, careers, freedom for children, and throws off the family norms!

The seeds for the sister rivalry were sown, at, basically birth, MINE!  With Shelley, symbolized by the name, Alex, Shelley's only daughter, Alexandra Southwick Maughn, now living in, I believe Amarillo, Texas, not my oldest daughter, Greta Secrist Hyland, living in St. George, Utah, regardless of how much Shelley prefers my children, or the family wants to claim them to legitimize, stealing Elliot's bands, over 20 years music, trying to win, through a huge ass extended family system, to engulf, all that is mine, including my children and grandchildren . . . remember, they enjoy, inflicting pain, and as much as they can . . . and this truly does, making a mockery of all that I have done, loved, touched, and trained, stealing it, now that they, too are carrying on a standard of excellence that was started and promoted by their mother . . . a second generation throwing success in the family system that followed the Mormon program, is just too much for them to bare! The goal of my family, is to erase me permanently! making it as if, I never existed at all!  The family has tried to kill me, but has been unsuccessful, just like they have been in life, therefore, the next best, is that old mafia adage, you are not my daughter, my sister, and trying to make it, not my mother, either!  Good luck on that one . . . I know my children, they are smart, cunning, and know, what they need to do, not only to survive, but to keep their mother alive!

Connecting, Clown Shit Dots, of the Last Week!

So, several days ago, well going back a month or so, when I came up to Kalispell, and wrote a letter for my alleged, friend, Annie, owner of the Granite Peak Grill . . . whom was introduced to my by, Jack or John King Strode, whom I think, might actually be, John King Ware, heir of the Pennsylvania Water fortune--who might be married, to Shelley, claiming to be me, and living at Finley Point, on the southern point of the Flathead Lake, using my money to live on or the Ware, and Jack, also a federal retired agent--or a R.E.D. retried and extremely dangerous, who was hired, back when there used to be more blue blood families, rather than Mormon agents, that have come to fill the ranks and files of the intelligence communities, making up the FBI, CIA, DIA, NSA, AFT, and other of the 40 or so spy agencies, so a marriage so to say, between the old agencies and the new, but all together on the Patriot Act, which makes me, a bad ass constitutional law chick, an enemy, and have been since 1997, when I came on the scene and so did Shelley, as a government snitch, to save her sorry ass . . . and these two sisters, happen to be the daughters, of long lost, SEC saved too, former OSS, Office of Strategic Service, Intel officer, or spy for the Air Force, when I was born, and the pioneers and precursors for the Mo run CIA!  A six daughter gold mine . . . one against us, and the rest for Republicans, Mormon Church, and the Patriot Act, with the U.S.A. being the world policing agency, so all the cops, who already hated, Ms, JoAnn S. Secrist, starting in 1997, with the killing of the cop money cow, system, asset forfeiture, pissing off the countries cops, prosecutors and judges . . . sure, we will throw one sister under the bus and take the other 5, plus a few extra attorneys, to make up for all that JoAnn can do single handed!

So, I blogged about Annie, trying to get me to take my contact information and phone number, off the letter, that "I" wrote, wondering if it would cause some trouble, with CREDIBILITY?  Who's?  Mine, or Shelley, who has been using and abusing MY name and credentials?  After I would not take my contact info off the letter, Annie said, she could not use the letter . . . I freaked out, used my money, my time, my knowledge to write a letter she was showing to everyone and bragging about . . . a Supreme Court level writing and negotiation, worried about offending, Shelley, a non-attorney, who is a fake bitch and jealous, but, as the psychopath and sociopath that she is, the money in my wallet is hers, if she can just figure out how to get it away from me, and surely she is smarter than a member of 4 bar associations!  REALLY, ANNIE?  Dumb ass . . . so, the next, challenge, for Annie, as an agent, who has lived in both Langley and Quantico, is to get my phone, that went over like a led balloon!  Next was for the government, to steal the number at the top of the letter, because I put it in this blog!!!!!!  

How can it be Shelley's letter, if it has my number, but remember, there is that old phone of mine, I left with the Grand Junction cops, who are tied in with Judge Lyle Anderson, who lied and said that Shelley was me, not ME, being ME!  We will just get that phone, LOCK, JoAnn's new phone, make it look like both phones were all just one and on the same service plan, taking up with the old serial number on the old phone, giving it back the number, and letting JoAnn use the new phone, but without any number, when she looks at the "MY NUMBER" on the list of services connected with the phone, and stopping service, 8/20/15, even though, I can still use the phone, giving me service, secret service, until 10/19/15!  Cleaver, cleaver like a toilet . . .LET HER HAVE ACCESS TO MY PHONE . . .  like a toilet, lever!  This bitch is not smart, cleaver, cool, calm or collected . . . she just has sanctions from the USEFUL IDIOTS, who have been manipulated by her lies too!  And your our intelligence community? Or you are just as much psychopaths and sociopaths as she is . . . sick, ill, disturbed, demented, psycho bulls shit, butchers!  I CAN READ YOU, GODDAMNED FUCKS LIKE A BOOK!  And that is where Shelley's knowledge comes from.  She is book learned, and I have a native intelligence that can eat that bitch alive, along with the other family bitches, who SHOP TIL THEY DROP . . . SPEND "MY" MONEY or MY SON'S MONEY!

Not A Word From Annie, Mike Or Josh, Since I Had the Dream of Them All Being Part of the Intel or  Counter-Intel Community!  LOL!  PROOF!

I wrote about the boyz, the young'uns, Michael and Josh, the Iraq Vet, militia, 29 year old; however, I think they are both older than they say!  LOL!  But, nonetheless, they are much too young for me, but, hey, they were willing to give it that old college try, so there is some respect in that!  LOL!  But, I told Annie, Sunday night, that I thought, both were agents, and joked with her, that I thought she might be also, given where she lived and all, and what her husband did for work, back in Washington, D.C., and all.  No, just a nobody . . . SHE IS NOT YOUR FRIEND FOR NOTHING!!!!!!  LOL!  As are most of the acquaintances I meet these days, a very controlled environment!  But, I am aware of that, and I learn the more I deal with them. So, magically, Mike is sick, will miss work tomorrow, Monday, back then, and actually, that is the end of the boyz club . . . perhaps, Annie is their trainer?  But, they should ease them out a bit more slowly, so as not to make it SOOOOOOO obvious, that is exactly what both of them are, as is Annie!  LOL!

But, I had done some legal research to help Annie save her house, because, allegedly that is what she wanted to do, was claiming to want to buy the house, and I found some legal support, landlord and tenant act stuff that was, actually, in her favor, and I discussed this legal power with her, to some extent, on Monday the last time I saw Annie and about the last time I talked to her . . . money is thicker than friendship! I told Annie, what I thought she could do to keep her house, and thought it was worth a try and would save her a shit load of money and also her landlord.  Annie disappeared from sight and from Kalispell . . . only to show up, later in the day, coming back from the Swan Lake area, probably coming back from meeting with Shelley, holed up on Finley Point, where Jack or John Strode or Ware, had property, overlooking the Flathead Lake.  So this woman, who is losing her house, and letting her restaurant go vacant or onto closure, is off cruising around, the Swan area . . . I am sure, she doesn't know I have been there, and know the area, going the back way to Finley Point?  HMMMMM?

I called Annie, at some point in the day, and asked her what she had decided to do about the research and the possibilities of keeping her property?  She said, she was checking with PRE-PAID LEGAL, so second guessing a member of the U.S. Supreme Court bar, in turn for going to paid attorneys, who can't keep enough business going, so they side line with pre-paid legal, which, I believe, or at one time, Shelley joined! So, while Shelley is trying  to learn the law, she is still getting back up from pre-paid legal, and Annie is admitting that she is going to someone else for advice . . . why didn't she do that in the first place . . . I give them the good stuff, the writing, the ideas, the law, and then, they steal my ideas, and claim it for theirs .  . . I am suppose to be teaching the girlz club the law, so they can steal my identity . . . I THINK NOT!  BITCH!

But, Michael and Josh, Annie are not match for me, nor is SHELLEY!  Shelley Jean Southwick, Anderson, Yeman, and whatever the fuck her name is now, Joann Secrist, has a birthday coming up, September 13, 1953!!!!!!!!  Check this bitch out!  My birthday, which I am sure, she and the family have adopted for her, is December 17, 1954!  Good God, you fucks are stupid!!!!!!  Like I have always said, If you are not part of the solution, you are part of the PROBLEM!  This just can't be that hard!  Unless you are on the other side!!!!!!!  I don't care if Shelley is thinner, nicer, more popular, and even if my children want her as their mother, SHE IS NOT GOING TO FUCKING BE, ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  NOR IS THE FUCKING GOP, REPUBLICAN PARTY, MORMON CHURCH, GETTING TO CLAIM ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

DREAM ON . . . YOU FUCKING SACKS OF SHIT!

TEAM OF RIVALS . . . WIN FROM WITHIN . . . STRONG IS BEAUTIFUL! SILICON BARBIES ASIDE . . . WOMEN CUT MEN SLACK . . . RECENT STUDY, SHOWS, WOMEN, WANT MEN WITH BROWN HAIR, DAD BOD! LOL! BRITISH WOMEN LIKE LARGER MEN--THAT IS PROBABLY SO THEY CAN RELAX A BIT! SO WHAT'S UP WITH MEN, WHO WANT BARBIE BOD TO THE DEATH FOR WOMEN . . . GET REAL! LOL! I HAVE BEEN WATCHING THE SERIES, DEADLY WOMEN . . . HOLY SHIT! SOME WICKED WENCHES OUT THERE! SOME PSYCHOPATHS, SOCIOPATHS, BORN BAD, LOOK AT PEOPLE AS THEIR POSSESSIONS, WILL KILL IF THEY CAN'T HAVE, OR KILL THE RIVAL! I JUST READ, WARREN ILLI'S ARTICLE IN THE "OIUTDOOR" SECTION OF THE "DAILY INTER LAKE" NEWSPAPER . . . HE WROTE ABOUT HIS FAVORITE HUNTING PARTNER, HIS WIFE, "JOANN", AND SHE SPELLS IT JUST LIKE I SPELL MY NAME! MEN, WOMEN, LOOK FOR PARTNERS BASED ON COMMON INTERESTS, PASSIONS, ACTIVITIES, AND STUFF THAT YOU CAN ENJOY TOGETHER! SURE, SEX IS IMPORTANT, AND IF YOU DON'T HAVE AN ATTRACTION FOR EACH OTHER, THERE WILL BE PROBLEMS . . . BUT THERE SHOULD BE REALISTIC STANDARDS, GIVEN CHILD BIRTH, AGING, KIND OF LIKE FOR BETTER OR WORSE, BUT WITH CERTAIN LIMITS, FOR GOING TOTALLY OUTSIDE THE NORMAL SET OF WHAT CONSTITUTES ATTRACTION, LIKE IN OVERLY GROSS, DIRTY, STINKY, DISGUSTING . . . MOST OTHER THINGS CAN BE OVERCOME AND WORKED THROUGH. THIS, I WOULD ASSUME, MONTANA BOY, MEETS BIG CITY GIRL, JOANN, AND TURNS HER INTO HIS LIFE LONG HUNTING, FISHING AND CAMPING COMPANION! NICE, AND STILL IN LOVE 50 YEARS LATER! THE GOAL! STABLE, SECURE, SOLID FAMILIES . . . THE ROCK BED OF NOT ONLY SOCIETY, BUT CIVILIZATION. SO, HINT, MEN, IF WOMEN ARE ATTRACTED TO "DAD BOD'S" AND DADS DON'T EVEN HAVE THE KIDS, WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH RESPECTING THE "MOM BOD'S" WHEN THEY ARE ACTUALLY THE HUMAN VESSEL THAT BEARS THE CHILDREN, YOUR CHILDREN, FOR THE MOST PART? LIKE I SAID, DEAL WITH IT, GET REAL . . . AND YOU, JUST MIGHT FIND A GREAT PARTNER, AND GREAT FRIEND, RATHER THAN JUST SOMEONE YOUR BUDDIES THINK IS HOT, FOR A WHILE! THINK, LONG TIME COMMON INTERESTS! WE CAN FIX SOCIETIES ILLS, BUT REALISM IS PART OF THE SOLUTION! GET IT RIGHT! MY FIRST CHILD, SPREAD MY RIB CAGE, ABOUT 6 INCHES! A 9 LB. 13 OZ. BABY GIRL, COULD NOT HELP SPREAD THE HIPS A BIT . . . AGE MAKES BOTH MEN AND WOMEN, THICKER! DON'T HOLD WOMEN TO STANDARDS THAT, YOU, YOURSELF, CAN'T KEEP! MOM BOD'S SHOULD BE VALUED . . . HELL, WHO ELSE IS GOING TO MAKE SURE, SOCIAL SECURITY CONTINUES! LOL! MOST MEN WOULD, COULD NOT HAVE ONE CHILD, LET ALONE A LITTER! DURING THE HUMAN RUT SEASON . . . GO FOR QUALITY, DEPTH, STRENGTH, AND COOL, NOT JUST HOT! SON . . . LOL!

NEWS SNAPSHOTS, FOR HOTSHOTS . . . FLATHEAD VALLEY, MONTANA,Ev

Daily Inter Lake Thought of the Day!

A heretic is a man who sees with his own eyes!  Gotthold Lessing, German dramatist-critic (1729-1781)

Fun, Fun, Fun . . . Since Daddy Took The T-Bird Away!

Title of song, courtesy of the Beach Boys!  I just wanted to plug the Flathead Transit, your gateway to all the fun events in the Flathead area, students, those without cars, elderly, who just want to take an amazing ride, through the Mission Mountains to Flathead Lake, and the fall leaves are starting to come on.  This is one of the most beautiful rides in the state of Montana!  I love it, to just go for a joy ride!  This transit system is simple, reliable, on time, and fun!  The services run 7 days a week, come rain, sleet, snow, or sunshine!  The only two times I have memorized, are starting in Missoula, 11:30 A.M., Kalispell, 4:30 P.M., for college students, who want to come to the Dragon Boat Races, join the Viking Ships that have 42 member teams, racing across this gorgeous lake!  This is you ticket to freedom, from making mom and dad buy you a car to get out and do some fun activities . . . it only costs, $30.50 to take the ride up the state! I paid more money in the taxi from the drop off site in town to get to my motel!  I am not sure, but they, since they are connected with Greyhound, might have student, senior, or vet discounts . . . not sure about that, but worth a try.  However, it is the best deal I have ever found.  And the Pablo gas station, where we always stop going both from Missoula to Kalispell, or the reverse, and everywhere in between, generally cooks up some good home cooked grub, for travelers . . . lasagna, tacos, soups!  And you can always get the normal snacks, sodas and chips.  This is a great service, and I am so grateful for it . . . this is called FREEDOM!  I made the first maiden run, and have gone back and forth at least 50 times, love the drive, the courteous drivers, and the convenience!  TRY IT--YOU WILL LIKE IT!  For more information call Flathead Transit at 406.275.2877 or 406.675.2700 ext 1352.

The Great Race!  Looking Like Hillary vs. the Trumpster!

HILLARY'S INTERVIEW WITH ANDREA MITCHELL, MSNBC . . . LOOKING PRESIDENTIAL!

The NSA is not going to let me control my own font size (4 paragraphs later, they let me control, or sort of!  This blog doesn't belong to a Republican!). . . what a bunch of lame ass babies, ALWAYS!!!!!  Good hell, I have free speech, so fuck off!  Anyway, last night, I watched the Rachel Maddow Show, on MSNBC, which I generally love, except for the Friday giveaway . . . too goofy for me!  Surprised?  LOL!  But, for truth seekers, and those of us, who truly want to be informed before we vote, that would be a good interview to watch.

Just from a practical point of view, which is the rational, logical and unemotional approach to seeing things through my own eyes, the heretic that I am, Hillary has the best resume for the job, even over V.P. Biden if he should chose to run for the presidency.  I think, the fact that Hillary has been Secretary of State, puts her above the V.P. who both have experience in the Senate and Congress.  

Knowing the heads of state for foreign countries, is a huge ass plus! And, Hillary, I am glad to see you touting your own contributions to the Iran Nuke Deal, laying the groundwork, and such, giving diplomacy a chance, rather than always going for war!  Make love, not war!  It is much more enjoyable!  LOL!  But, the reason that many women, especially in the science and math fields on a university level, get bumped out of the picture for grants, recognition, is that they will not TOOT their own horns, like men do!  So, you have to let the public know what you did for that 4 stellar years of serving the country, 24/7 as Secretary of State!  We need to know!  We are not privy to the nuts and bolts of your work.

The nation, as seen in the interview, are going to have to deal with the difference of a female as opposed to a male president!  Let's call it, feminizing the country, or looking at issues through a woman's eyes, a mother, a grandmother, and she will be looking at domestic issues, a bit differently that a man.  I believe that is the problem with the email issue . . . she just did it differently that, say Colin Powell did, who had separate private and work emails . . . men tend to compartmentalize their work and home lives; women do not, they dovetail or blend the two . . . just the difference in the sexes!  Deal with it, she didn't break policy, nor violate any rules, that were merely recommendations!  Her response to Andrea, was honest . . . she is sorry she didn't separate the two, but there were so many MORE important issues, that she just went with what was the most convenient!  And that was . . .

MR. TRUMPSTER . . . WE LOVE THE ROUGE!  WHAT'S UP WITH SIGNING THE FUCKING PLEDGE TO THE GOP?  THEY WERE GOING TO TRASH YOUR ASS!  ADVICE . . . STAY THE TRUMPSTER!

AMERICAN POLITICS . . . THE ENTERTAINMENT CAPITOL OF THE WORLD!

Citizens of the United States . . . Now is the time to TUNE into the 2016 Elections!  You need context and history, to make the best informed decisions . . . Fuck Party Labels!