COLOR ME HAPPY! HEARTS & CUPS FILLED . . . THERE ALL MY FAVORITE! COWBOY WANTED, DEAD OR ALIVE . . . INTERESTING MOVIE: EDWARD NORTON (2008) "DOWN IN THE VALLEY." TALK ABOUT A CLASH OF CULTURES--COWBOY COMES DOWN FROM THE HIGH COUNTRY, ON A RANCH, TO TOWN, TO STRIKE OUT HIS FUTURE AND FORTUNE, MEETS SWEET, WILD SURFER CALIFORNIA CHICK--BLONDE HAIRED, BLUE-EYED BEAUTY . . . IT IS LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT. SHE INTRODUCES HIM TO SEX FOR THE FIRST TIME, FROLICKING IN THE OCEAN, DRUGS, NEON DANCING AT CLUBS, AND FUN IN THE CITY. UNTIL COP--SHERIFF, DAD FINDS OUT ABOUT THE NEW GUY, AND THE TRAGIC ROMANCE, NOT UNLIKE SHAKERSPEARE'S CLASSIC, ROMEO & JUILET, STAR CROSSED LOVERS, UNFOLDS, WITH THE PROTAGONIST, THE MAIN CHARACTER, THE UNSUNG HERO--WHO READS THE CONTROLLING FATHER, THE TRAPPED KIDS AND HE TRIES DESPERATELY TO FREE THEM FROM HIS CLUTCHES. THE ANTAGONIST, THE FATHER, HAS REASON TO BE CONCERNED, NEW DUDE COWBOY, SPENT A YEAR IN JAIL FOR THEFT . . . BUT, FROM WHAT I HAVE GARNERED, FROM PAROWAN, UTAH AND MONTANA, TO MOST COWBOYS, JAIL IS A BADGE OF HONOR, WEARING IN ON THEIR SLEEVE LIKE A BOY SCOUT PATCH, HAVING ARRIVED, BECOME A MAN, AND WITH THAT INDEPENDENT, START KNOCKING THE SYSTEM, FROM THAT POINT ON . . . BATTLING RANGE WARS, ENDANGERED SPECIES, LIKE PRAIRIE DOGS WHO RIP UP THEIR FIELDS AND FUCK UP THEIR TRACTORS! TAKING CHANCES OF PUTTING CHEWED BUBBLE GUM, IN THEIR HOLES, OR JUST OUTRIGHT, TAKING THE CRITTERS INTO THEIR OWN HANDS, SHOOTING THE SHIT OUT OF THEM! THE HERO AND THE ANTI-HERO, CLASH, OF COURSE, WITH THE COWBOY, STANDING FIRM, RESPECTING THE FATHER'S PROPERTY RIGHTS, BUT, NOT BACKING DOWN ON HIS PURSUIT OF LOVE FOR HIS DAUGHTER! LIKE ALL ROMEO & JULIET DRAMAS OF UNREQUITED LOVE, IT NEVER WORKS TO KEEP YOUNG LOVERS, OR OLD APART, BECAUSE, THEY ARE FOREVER IN THEIR HEARTS, ANYWAY. THE INNOCENCE, BUT POWER, THE DETERMINATION, OF THE COWBOY, GOING AGAINST A FATHER, WHO HAS THE RESOURCES, TO MAKE THE YOUNG MAN'S LIFE, A LIVING HELL, AS WELL AS HIS DAUGHTERS. THE GIRL, KNOWS HER DAD, FIGHTS HIM, BUT, SHE IS ALSO CAUTIOUS WITH THE COWBOY, WARNING HIM, THAT HER DAD WILL KILL HER IF THEY GET TOGETHER, AND HE DOESN'T LEAVE . . . SO HE DOES FOR AWHILE, BUT COMES BACK, WITH THE SOLUTION, HE HAS MONEY, PACKS HER BAG, AND THEY WILL RUN AWAY AND GET MARRIED! SHE IS YOUNG, MAYBE 16 AND FEARS, NOT ONLY FOR HER LIFE, BUT HIS LIFE . . . HE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND IT. THIS NEXT PART, IS CONFUSING, AND I DON'T KNOW IF IT WAS COWBOY REFLEX, OR THAT COUNTRY BOYS WEAR THEIR HEARTS ON THEIR SLEEVE TOO, AND HE DRAWS HIS GUN, TWO ON HIS HIP HOLSTERS, WITHOUT THINKING, HE SHOOTS HER IN THE STOMACH . . . OR IS IT BECAUSE HE CAN'T LOSE TO THE FATHER, LOVES HER SO MUCH AND LOSES IT WHEN SHE TELLS HIM, SHE CAN'T GO? THIS IS WHERE THE STORY GETS DICEY, BECAUSE THE TRAGIC HERO, STILL FEELING THE NEED TO RESCUE THE TWO KIDS, HE HAS GROWN CLOSE TO, AND TAKE THEM SOMEWHERE SAFE--AND I THINK HE SEES THIS, AS TRUE SURVIVAL FOR THEM, BASED ON SOME OF THE STATEMENTS HE MAKES ABOUT THE LITTLE BROTHER, WHOM HE IS GENUINELY CONCERNED FOR, SEEING HIM, ALONE AND SAD, HE TAKES THE KID ON HORSEBACK, COMICALLY, TRYING TO GET OUT OF THE CITY, TO SHOOT GUNS, AND TEACH THE KID, BUT, THE HORSE, AND THE TWO GUNSLINGERS, END UP SHOOTING GLASS BOTTLES, RIGHT UNDER THE CEMENT FREEWAY, MAYBE INDICATING, THAT, NO MATTER HOW HARD THIS COWBOY, WHO PLAYS BY OLD SCHOOL COUNTRY RULES, IS TRAPPED IN A CEMENT JUNGLE. COWBOY, KNOWS HE IS IN TROUBLE FOR SHOOTING THE GIRL, SO HE TAKES OFF, SHOOTS HIMSELF, IN THE STOMACH TOO, COMES BACK FOR THE BOY, AND TELLS HIM, TO GET HIM OUT OF THE HOUSE AND AWAY FROM A FATHER, WHO DOES LITTLE WITH HIM, AND CARES NOT FOR THE BOY, OR THE GIRL, OTHER THAN GIVING THEM THE BASICS OF FOOD AND SHELTER, FOR TOTAL CONTROL, AS COPS ARE KNOWN TO DO WITH FAMILIES, BUT HE TELLS THE KID, THAT IT WAS HIS DAD, WHO SHOT THE DAUGHTER--AND IN A WAY, HIS ACTIONS, DENYING YOUNG LOVE TO PLAY OUT, GOING FROM A RAGING FIRE, AND LETTING THE FIRE, SLOWLY DIE, TO THE EMBERS, OF MORE MATURE PASSIONS, AND IN THAT SENSE, HE IS NOT LYING WHEN HE TELLS THE SON, THE FATHER WAS RESPONSIBLE FOR HER BEING SHOT. THE KID HAD TOUCHED THE GUN AFTER THE COWBOY SHOT HER, AND HE WAS TO BE QUESTIONED IN THE MORNING, ANOTHER REASON TO RUN, IN THE COWBOY'S MIND. BOB SEGER SONG ON . . . SHE'S LIVING INSIDE MY HEART NOW, AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT I DID TO DESERVE HER, BUT I'M NEVER GOING TO LOSER HER . . . SHE'S LIVING INSIDE MY HEART, LIVING INSIDE . . . YOU CAN'T EXTRICATE LOVE, EVER--OH, I NEVER BELIEVED HOW MUCH SOMEONE COULD COME TO MEAN TO ME, SHE'S LIVING INSIDE MY HEART! BACK TO THE STORY . . . SO COWBOY ON HIS WHITE HORSE, WHITE COWBOY HAT, SIX GUNS ON HIS SIDE, LITTLE BROTHER, SAVING IN TOW, RIDES OFF INTO THE SUNSET--WITH DAD IN HOT PURSUIT BEHIND THE TWO! THE TWO GET BUSHWACKED, OUT BY A FIRE, SHOTS ARE EXCHANGED, BUT THE BOY, AGAIN, CHOOSES THE COWBOY OVER HIS FATHER. THEY END UP, RIDING INTO A MOVIE SET, FOR AN OLD WESTERN--WHEN COWBOY WAKES UP, HE HEARS A THE SOUND OF COUNTRY MUSIC AND DANCING GOING ON OUTSIDE, WHERE THE TWO ARE HOLED UP . . . YOU DON'T KNOW IF THE COWBOY IS TOTALLY NUTS, OR WHAT, BUT, HE IS IN HIS ELEMENT, AND JOINS THE TOWN PARTY, TO SWEAR THE NEW SHERIFF IN--CAMERAS FILMING, WHEN DAD AND HIS POSSE ROLL INTO TOWN, IN A GRAY CROWN VIC, THE TRADITIONAL COP CAR . . . COWBOY GETS WARNED FROM THE SON, AGAIN, SHOWING HIS ALLEGIANCE TO A MAN, WHO THE KID KNEW, CHANGED HIS LIFE! JUST LIKE AN OLD FASHIONED GUN FIGHT, ON THE DUSTY STREETS, OF TOMBSTONE OR LAREDO, THE COWBOY DRAWS BOTH SIX SHOOTERS, TAKES ON THE DAD, HIS COP BUDDIES, KILLING TWO BEFORE, BEING SHOT, WITH DAD, HIDING IN THE UNDERCOVER SQUAD CAR, SON GRABS THE WHITE HORSE, FOR THE COWBOY WITH THE WHITE COWBOY HAT, ALL SYMBOLS OF PURITY, GOODNESS, PEACE AT FIRST--HE TRIED OR WANTED TO TALK TO THE DAD, BUT THE COP DAD, PULLED A GUN ON THE COWBOY, POINTED IT AT HIS HEAD, EARLIER, BEFORE ALL THE DRAMA STARTED, SO THE ANTI-HERO, THE COP, IN TRUE COP FASHION, USED HIS GUN AND HIS BADGE, FORCE, THREATS TO GET CONTROL OF THE LOVERS . . . BUT LOYALTIES ARE DEFINITELY ON COWBOYS SIDE. THE SON AND THE COWBOY MOUNT UP, AND RIDE OFF TO FIND, SHELTER . . . COWBOY, IS SHOT IN THE SIDE, AND WITH THE PREVIOUS WOUND, HE IS LOSING BLOOD, GETTING WEAK. THE GUN FIGHT, WITH COWBOY AND HIS HORSE, AGAINST THE UNDERCOVER COP CAR, JUXTAPOSES, THE DIFFERENCES OF LIFESTYLES, CULTURES, MENTALITIES, AS DO THE TWO MEN, BOTH DETERMINED IN THEIR OWN WAY, BOTH RIGHT, FROM THEIR PERSPECTIVE, BUT THE FATHER, LEFT THE LOVERS NO OTHER ALTERNATIVE, OTHER THAN TO JUST CUT OFF LOVE, WITH THE HOT PASSION OF LOVE BURNING . . . NOT GOING TO HAPPEN DAD! LIKE IN ALL TRAGIC HERO STORIES, DAD TRACKS TO TWO COWBOYS . . . YOUNGSTER IS FASCINATED WITH BECOMING A MAN, SHOOTING, AND GETTING TO HANDLE A GUN, SOMETHING HIS FATHER NEVER ALLOWED, EVEN THOUGH HE HAD GUN COLLECTIONS ALL OVER THE HOUSE . . . THE GUN CULTURE IS SECOND NATURE TO COWBOYS AND COWGIRLS . . . MONTANA HOMES HAVE AN AVERAGE OF 27 GUNS PER HOUSEHOLD, LAST SURVEYED, MANY I TALKED TO, HAD MANY MORE THAN THAT! EVENTUALLY, THE WOUNDED COWBOY, OUTNUMBERED, IN THE NORMAL, CHICKEN SHIT WAY, THREE TO ONE, WEAK, GETS SHOT SEVERAL MORE TIMES, DAD TAKES ONE OR TWO, TOO. COWBOY'S WHITE HORSE, HIDDEN IN THE GARAGE, GOES NUTS, KICKING THE METAL DOOR, TRYING TO GET TO HIS MASTER, SENSING TROUBLE, BUT CAN'T KICK ITS WAY OUT . . . COWBOY CRAWLS INTO THE DRIVEWAY, OUT IN THE SUNSHINE, AND DIES. THE SON, RUNS TO HIM, CRADLING HIM AND LOVING ON HIM, AS HIS FATHER STANDS BY, URGING HIM, TO LEAVE THE COWBOY, AND COME WITH HIM--HE DISOBEYS. START OF THIS 13 YEAR OLD, TURNING INTO A MAN, IN HIS OWN RIGHT . . . IT WAS ALMOST LIKE AN INITIATION FOR THE QUIET, SULLEN YOUNG, LONELY MAN, STANDING UP TO HIS FATHER. THE NEXT THING YOU SEE, IS THE FATHER, DAUGHTER--RECOVERED, AND THE SON, DRIVING UP TO A PLACE THE TWO LOVERS HAD SPENT A WONDERFUL DAY TOGETHER, KISSING, PLAYING ON A TREE SWING, MAKING LOVE, OVER AND OVER AGAIN IN THE HIGH COUNTRY GRASS . . . THE GIRL AND BOY, LOOKING OVER THE VALLEY BELOW, WONDER WHAT TO SAY . . . SHE SAYS, DON'T SAY ANYTHING . . . AND THE WIND TAKES, COWBOYS ASHES AND BLOWS THEM OUT OVER THE GRASS, INTO THE SKY ABOVE AND OVER THE VALLEY . . . YEAH, THE CARDS ARE STACKED AGAINST, ANYONE, TAKING ON THE POWER THAT BE, HEROES, FIGHTING TO KEEP, AMERICA, THE HOME OF THE FREE, BECAUSE OF THE FREE! GOD BLESS THE AMERICAN COWBOYS . . . IF WE REMAIN FREE, THEY WILL PLAY A KEY ROLE, WITH THE INDEPENDENT SPIRIT, THAT CONQUERED, WELL, TRIED TO CONQUER THE WILD, WILD WEST . . . LET FREEDOM AND LOVE RING, FOREVER! COPS CAN USE THEIR BADGES, GUNS TO RIDDLE OUR BODIES WITH BULLETS, JAIL US, BEAT US . . . BUT, THEY WILL NEVER, EVER WIN OUR HEARTS AND SOULS!

CHRISTMAS KISSES . . . FATAL FLAWS IN PERFECT CRIME. CIA FRINGE LAB RAT? "YOU NEXT!" "LET'S GET IT DONE!" WE OWN WORK . . . HERCULES BULLS EYE BRAND! COUNTRY SONG: "THERE GOES MY LIFE" . . . CUT DOWN AT 46 YEARS OLD, REBOUND BY 55, CUT DOWN AGAIN BY 58! TO SEE THE FULL EAR OF CORN APPEAR, YOU HAVE TO LET THE KERNEL FALL TO THE GROUND AND DIE: (1) DAUGHTER, GRETA, TRAINING ATTORNEYS BEFORE GOING TO LAW SCHOOL; (2) NICOLE, POLITICAL ANIMAL, COUNTY COMMISSIONER, SENATOR, CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF HER--IN A COUNTY WITH ALMOST AS MANY PEOPLE AS THE WHOLE STATE OF MONTANA; (3) CHRIS, FUTURE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES; AND (4) ELLIOT, GOD'S REVOLVER . . . ROCK STAR! THERE GOES MY LIFE--ATTORNEY, POLITICIAN, NATIONAL LEADER, ROCK STAR! CHRISTMAS KISSES! HOME OF THE BRAIN . . . NO, I'M NOT A SAVANT! I HAVE BEEN SMART MY WHOLE LIFE, CUBE SMART, MEANING IN A 4 SQUARE WAY, ON ALL SIDES! TRUE GEEK SQUAD. LOVE IS ABOUT A SPIRITUAL RELATIONSHIP--SEX IS MORE ABOUT THE SPIRIT, THAN THE BODIES . . . MAKING LOVE WITHOUT A SPIRITUAL RELATIONSHIP IS, LIKE TWO BODIES WITHOUT A SOUL! HIS/HER CHEATING, HAS MORE TO DO WITH THEM, THAN YOU! SERIAL BOMBER. PURE HATRED OF BLONDES. THIS MAN IS A TEXT BOOK SOCIOPATH . . . HE IS A FUCKING ANIMAL--HE'S PERFECT--WHERE'S MY TATTOOS? ERASED--LIKE YOUR PAST! STEM CELL RESEARCH? EXCHANGED FOR A SERIAL KILLER . . . SHE DOESN'T LEGALLY EXIST . . . THAT MEANS WE HAVE A RIGHT TO KILL HER! WE'VE CREATED A MONSTER! TOO MUCH VESTED INTEREST IN, DR. MONROE'S FREAK SHOW? SWITCHED POSITIONS . . . AN HONEST MAN'S PILLOW, IS HE PEACE OF MIND. EVENTUALLY, THE PLACEBO EFFECT DIES . . . YOU CHANGE YOURSELF! FAKE AN EXECUTION TO SAVE A VERY TROUBLED MAN . . . SUIT'S SPORT, FOR NERDS? SOME PEOPLE ARE NOT FIT FOR SOCIETY; YOU CAN PUT A NICE MASK ON THEM, BUT A LEOPARD DOES NOT CHANGE ITS SPOTS. YOU ARE WHO YOU ARE! THERE ARE REAL MONSTERS, EVIL BY NATURE AND THERE ARE REAL MASTERS, GOOD BY NATURE! FUCKING DEAL WITH IT!

Lab Rat, For CIA Home Entertainment--FUCK YOU!

I remember, several years, after being poisoned, walking out of a convenience store, and looking at the license plate, that caught my eye, being directly in my eye sight, right in from of the door--LAB RAT.  And, I remember, pausing for a few seconds, wondering, if what, I was going through, is some sort of government experiment, probing my mind, my limits, my psyche, my character, my temperament, testing where my breaking point, limit, passion and desire, to be me stopped.  I dismissed it, summarily, at that time, but have revisited the thought, often, as I have learned more and more, about, say, the relationship between the CIA and the Illuminati, the Monarch Project, testing subjects, many against their wills, using hypnosis, brainwashing, sexual, physical, and mental abuse, trying new drugs, looking at the side affects, compared to the control group, given or told they were being used for the new drug, but being of that group, that was merely given salt or sugar water, to see, just how powerful the mind is, to cure itself, or gain the desired affect, of the proscribed, newly tested drug.  I wonder, about being told, I had a terminal brain disease, where no one has outlived it, after being diagnosed, with a life expectancy, of little more than two years, and how, I was forced to take drugs, arrested when I didn't, and put in a state mental institution, for refusing to take the meds again, in the hospital, seeing little connection between a genetic disease with no cure, and forcing me to take psychotropic drugs, with death as a side effect, on all of them.

I recall, being taken to a hospital, and having all kinds of colorful, clips of some sort, attached to my brain, and getting some type of electric shock, or activity through these red, green, yellow and blue, or primary color probes or clips, and remembering, my brain, showing the same colors inside as outside.  Family connections, back in Boston, looking back, orchestrated, rather than done out the good will, or love of a sister, rather, as part of some lab rat experience, or the suggestion, that I got to UCLA, to get some CAT scan, that could dissect my brain, by slivers, .18 whatever, with each, laser cut, to see what was wrong. And being the smart, logical, and practical person, I am, I said, I would rather, spend my time, with family, watching sunsets, and enjoying the freedom of the time I have left.  I also remember, when I didn't die, at the proscribed, 2 year mark, who, the terminal brain disease, morphed into some psychoses, some mental disorder, particularly, narcissistic personality disorder . . . what, my error, would be on the side of not taking credit for the work I did, not being self absorbed, no that came, in having to defend myself, being a constant barrage, of attacks, on people stealing my identity.  Hell, I got award, after award, that I never even took the time to go to the award ceremonies, or like the domestic violence manual, I let the very minor co-contributor go to the award ceremony in Washington, D.C., being too busy with the next project, to worry about being honored for the old project, that I never did, because of recognition . . . and in retrospect, it is the very people who wanted to steal my identity, who had the issues with narcissism, NOT ME!

CONTROL

In any abusive relationship, be it, domestic violence, abuse of any kind, systemic abuse, work force harassment, bullying, or any type of relationship, bordering criminal behavior, going all the way from the least invasive intrusion, by the perpetrator on the victim, to the most severe, that of rape, sexual assault and murder, there is this element of power and control being exerted, one person against another, or one group of people against another. And that seems to be the motivating element, that of control, through abuse of power, that seems to be at the root of what happened to me.  I could not be controlled under ordinary means, that of threats, demotions, withdrawal of authority and position, or even banishment to the lower forty of the Utah Attorney Generals Office.  In whatever, area of the law, or even professorship, doing public speaking, to owning my own business, I excelled; therefore, none of these avenues, used to control me worked, and my dogged determination, to make the system work, force government to work, within the confines of the Constitution, federal and state statutory regulations, or state law, per, purity in government, and fidelity to the law, landed me in opposition to the powers that be, that used traditional means of controlling the more ethical, honest, and obligatory, members of the bar in control, allowing the government to have its way with, whomever, whatever, and wherever it chose, even to obfuscating the very law itself!

What Do Power and Control Freaks Do With Someone Like Me?

The answer is very plain, and simple, in the political processes, you have one smart group of people, vying against another group of very smart people countering you claims, arguments, and challenging your positions, and the government, should have mustard, all their smart people, to counter this smart person!  And, if you could not beat me, fair and square, then, fuck you, you lose!  PERIOD!  The government, is not authorized to take my life, and do with it what they please, to tamper, poison, discard, deny a voice, tame the shrew, or silence the lamb!  Show me, what fucking statute, constitutional provision, federal or state regulatory authorization, rule, ordinance or provision, you took, my life, into your hands and fucked with me.  And if that was not bad enough, then, you tried to cover your fucking unethical, totally irresponsible, and aberrant behavior, by changing, my diagnosis to a mental condition?  Oh, hell, yeah, you fucked my brain, major, and it took me, 8 fucking years to get it totally back, if not on a par with my previous intelligence, but even superior, as the brain compensates, for injuries, and injuries there were!  But, then, after tainting me with, the label, as was just revealed while I was in St. George, Utah for Thanksgiving, again, trying to put that fucking, severe mental issues, label on one of the fucking brightest minds, not only in the law, but government, writing, and philosophy!  YOU FUCKING DUMB SHITS!  GOD . . . what the fuck is, SERIOUSLY and SEVERELY WRONG WITH YOUR LAME ASS MINDS . . . for it is you, who is, terminally ILL!

Oh, I Know . . . Fake An Execution, And Let's Sick a Serial Killer, Psychopathic Liar, Sociopath, in Every Way, On Her!  Good Idea!

Long before, I saw, so many of the true crime shows of late, I, on many occasions, wondered, at both, Brett and Frank, my third and fourth husbands, for, lame reasons of marriage, because, I was dying and wanted sex, or I had just had my house taken, and my client offered me his house as pay for saving him, from being set up by the fucking cops, framed, looking at, 45 years in prison, as part of another, little government taking of a life, that of Allan Rex Bess, who was a Vietnam War Hero, who, as I can gather, from connecting the dots, of what you have done to me, since murdering him, after taking out, part of his brain too, lending support, to you fucking my brain also, the star crossed, bleeding only red, white and blue, which should have been in alignment with, your oaths of office as well, pledging allegiance to preserve, protect and defend the Constitution, right along with myself, being, taken out of prison, being, not just your minor average, run of the mill, criminals, but, as many criminals are, very intelligence, some handsome, charismatic, and charming, but bad to the core, in the very worst ways . . . serial killers . . . I see this in both of them!  Easy, not a stretch, even seeing it while trying to deny it, but, being close to evil, with the vial of good, can be revealing of the intention of the government, as well! just kill her!

Everyone, has redeeming factors, and it is the dream of prison, jail and correctional systems, to believe, they can rehabilitate people, and some are, of that minimal, deviance, and can be taught to have remorse, find sorrow for their crimes, want to repay society, learn to empathize and sympathize with the plights of their victims and society as a whole.  However, there is another class of people, of criminals, who are so far gone, or so, damaged, that, to protect the health, safety and welfare of the state's citizens, it behooves the state, to either keep them under lock and key, forever, or to eliminate them from society, through the death penalty. There are many accounts, of people being paroled, and within hours or days of their, sometimes, untimely releases, or mistaken releases from prison or jail, that have gone back to their old ways, and have killed again!  There is a huge ass difference, between, a repeat offender for robbery, breaking and entering, property crimes, per say, and those of repeat offenders for rape, assault and murder!  That was the fatal flaw in the three strikes your out, sentencing, of locking you up and throwing away the key . . . all crimes are not of equal damage and horror, therefore, a distinction needs to be drawn between, the hard core, bad to the bone, rapist, torturer and killer, and the petty thief, although, many start with small time crimes, and graduate to the more egregious and offensive to society, and sometimes it is hard to tell!

You Would Never Have Given Me the Time Of Day!

In high school, I was never part of the parking lot crowd, nor did I hang out with them, or really, know any of them.  That was not out of being a snob, or arrogant or elitist, I was just not, in the circles or doing the things that would merit, knowing, or rubbing shoulders, with say, people on drugs, even smoking or drinking, let alone, sleeping around . . . I was the good teen!  There were many times after leaving Brett, who could be very polished, charming, and really, the Ideal Husband, but for, I believe, this bottom line difference in us--that of, what would I call it, staying power, confidence, faith in solid evidence of success in life, a sure foundation, and an ability to rise, to the top of any endeavor, when the need arises!  This morning, I watched the true crime episode on Forensic Files, called the Levi Bellfield case, of the Bus Stop Murders, about a man, who, early in life, was skinny and scrawny, and was generally rejected by women, until he started taking steroids and working out at the gym, gaining, some admirable, physical traits, and looks.

In this case, the psychologists, wondered, what triggered this man's absolute and utter hatred for blonde, young women, whom were always his targets.  Finally, this man, Levi was apprehended and charged with the deaths of two young girls, with the questions of at least 10 other murders, being, a possible connection with where this man was, at the times of several other murders, that could not be connected to him with hard evidence.  As the criminologists, looked into this man's past, to see what his motives might have been, they found, that, there was a classmate of his, a female, blonde, who died, while, Levi was in high school, and nobody ever was charged with her murder.  But, there was some suspicion, that, Bellingfield, might have been the one, to murder her, leaving authorities, wondering, who many women, disappearances, rapes and murders, might have gone undiscovered and undetected, since that girl was murdered, some 30 years earlier. Bellingfield is an interesting connection to Shelley, she used to sell school books to elementary school librarians, so school bell, school bus, came be a connection or symbolized, Shelley's arena . . . serial killers, like Levi, also, in Shelley's field, that of assassins, serial killers, all the stuff, of her book shelves, the Sopranos, Riches . . . yeah!

In this case, the boy, seemed to have a close relationship with his mother, who was a brunette, and I believe all his wives, and he had been married 4 times, were brunette, although, he was extremely violent with the wives, who eventually divorced him, it was the blondes that cause the murderous, senseless killings of school girls, for the most part, really young, like 14 years old, who just up and disappeared, being found, some months later, very decomposed state, but with no soft tissue left on her, skeleton . . . did he skin her down to the bone?  Nobody wanted to even venture as guess, what he did to this very beautiful little blonde girl, who's body, was discovered, out in the woods and pasture areas, where his ex-wife, interestingly enough, named, Jo Collins, a symbolic name, of course, Jo, a name close family and friends call me, and Collins, CIA lying, looking very much like, Shelley, my dark haired, older sister, whom Brett may have had a relationship with, before, the set up with me, or after, being more in his comfort zone, that the blonde, or me. Kay also has brown hair, and several of his girlfriends, had jet black hair, or the girls were Iranian, or of foreign dissent, or darker in coloring, and one, red-headed girl friend.

Early Rejection From Blondes?  The Dumb Blonde Mantra . . . I Could Not Be Smart and Blonde?  Brunettes are the Smart Ones?  Stereotypes?

If you look at the movies, you will see the more serious roles, government intrigue, played by people like, Sandra Bullock, or Segeorney Weaver, Susan Sarandon, and other actresses.  When, you want, movies, like Legally Blonde, with Rees Witherspoon, while getting into law school, and passing with flying colors, she is portrayed, as less serious, solves her cases, looking at her poodle or going shopping, or getting an idea from a shoe or her platforms, or something like that.  Sometimes, Michelle Pheifer, pulls off the serious attorney, but, it seems, even she was undermined by her client, in Sam I Am, Sean Penn!  I know, that Brett's mother, was a blonde, when I met her, a party girl, wild, drinker, and fun, so fun, that she would not give up the bar scene, to raise kids, and her husband divorced her when Brett was 2 years old.  Does he have some resentment for his mother . . . he seemed close, but they did argue a lot, over politics, religion, etc.

Ted Bundy, rejected by a very serious girlfriend in college, once she graduated, and being from a good family, dumped him, and later, Ted's victims, often had a similar look to that of his old girlfriend.  Brett was definitely good looking enough, nice build, and sweet, in many ways, kind to old people, etc,, that he could have, easily run in the popular crowd, but maybe, these particular skills, social skills, or study women, helped him later in life.  The interesting thing was, he was attracted to me, and got jealous, but, perhaps, he was being paid, to keep me isolated and off the grid, so to say, to see if I was getting better and what my goals were . . . it may have been as simple as that?  Or there could be those darker recesses of the mind, engaged in this, almost overkill . . . right as I am writing this, this very blonde with long hair, walked by . . . almost indicating, in a God, Intel, way, that he had long hated blondes and had issues with them.  Brunettes may be his comfort level, and who he feels most trusting of, seeing his mother, the blonde, bombshell, was not to be trusted as a wife or a mother?

Serial Bombers . . . The Salt Lake City, Bomber!

I just recently saw two bombing cases: (1) the Mark Haufman, historical document fraud, who murdered three people with pipe bombs, one a friend of mine, Steve Christensen, also a rare documents collector and is was surmised that, Steve was about to expose Mark as a fraud, as he was ready to sell a fake document to the Mormon Church, hierarchy, worth $1 million, having been found authentic by the FBI and the Library of Congress, with Haufman having, about 600 forged documents still out on the market--pretty damned good con man.  He took out Steve's business partner, Gary Sheet's wife, to make it look business related, then someone else, and he blew himself up, as he was going to deliver other bombs around the Salt Lake Valley. Physical evidence doesn't lie, people do!  Mark, tried to make it look, like he was the victim of the bomber, rather than being the bomber himself.  (2) this man, sounded like the perfect psychopath, handsome, smooth talker, charming, likable, but cunning and mean, and with each bomb, in his war with the 11th Circuit Court of Appeals, where he had lost some cases, and had racial issues, this man, got more meticulous, crafty, and deadly with his bombs.  I think he took out at least 3 people, and would, not have stopped, had he not be, actually, turned in or ratted out by his second wife, telling authorities of her shopping trips with him, buying all the key elements of the bombs, getting more perfected, and specialized, as they went, covering all his tracks and evidence!  There are organized serial killers and unorganized.  This man was highly intelligent, clean, orderly, and did, almost the perfect bombings, with not evidence to connect him to the bombs, but for the testimony witness of his wife, who could corroborate all her statement with facts, and evidence, and one fingerprint of the print shop, where they ran off copies of the letters attached or delivered with the bombs!

The point I want to make this these two men, is that, they were good enough to fool the FBI, the Library of Congress, and alleged inspired, men of the hierarchy of the Mormon Church . . . and, like I said, Mark Haufman, still has 600 fraudulent documents out floating around somewhere!  Both Kay and Brett, literally bought off and fooled the Mormon Church leaders . . . you have two people, both from divorce, the other side of the track, so to say, an ax to grind, a common hatred and envy of me, adding Shelley and my father to that lot, and the cops and the government, all the way up, with Mitt Romney, my Brock case, and all, and possibly the pure hatred of blondes, in the intelligence community.  It would be interesting, to see how many agents, in both the CIA and FBI, are female and blonde as opposed to brunette?  I know, my family, can't buy fact that the cheerleader, bubbly blonde, can also be a kick ass, bad ass con law attorney .. . I was suppose to be the wild child, the social butterfly, not the campus crusader and constitutional law attorney . . . that doesn't compute to them!  LOL . . . DEAL WITH IT!  LOL!

I literally, have these fuckers, see me in court, read my blog, watch me write it, and be in complete denial, that I am the one who wrote it . . . it hurts to be beautiful!  For some reason, in the minds of little people, you can't be smart and beautiful, and social, and good mother and an attorney . . . women, you can have it all . . . you just need to fight, those fucking stereotypes . . . and they are long and hard falling!

Frank--The Dom and the Sub . . . What a Crock of Shit!

So, last night, killing time, this movie came on, and I missed the name of it, but it had another blonde mother, wife, who was being cheated on, while her husband, did his business thing, and so eventually, this young mother, dissatisfied with her husband, goes to a chiropractor, to relieve the stress in her back, due to the issues with her husband, and as this man, understands her, makes her feel like a lovable woman again, she finds out from a dark haired friend, that, this man, is having an affair with another friend, and having his baby in three weeks.  This sends this very attractive mother of two, on this sexually liberating quest, having been broken in by the doctor or chiropractor, setting the standard at adultery, and going from there, venturing in to younger men, sex parties, and finally, she gets attracted to an older man, who is a Dom . . . and he is looking for the perfect, Sub . . . Dominator and Submissive!  SCREAMMM!  So, the more the Dom and the potential, very interested, Sub, talk, the more enamored she becomes with this man and his very new but strange ideas.  This guy, is very professional, looks, like he could be an agent, of FBI or CIA, colors, living in a beautiful home, and finally, the two get together, as he takes her prime interest and curiosity.

I thought, I was literally going to barf!  She is to wear what he tells her to wear, she can't do anything he doesn't tell her she can do, like eat, or go to the bathroom, etc.  And she inquires what would happen to her, if she were to disobey him?  He would put his disobedient, Sub, on a pet leash and lead her up and down the neighborhood, letting the people all know, he had a disobedient, Sub!  And, I guess that is suppose to turn her on?  He brags of liberating very feminist women, bank presidents, doctors, lawyers, who want to be dominated by him.  He is a self proclaimed, Alpha man, and it is only those Beta males, like her husband, who want to control her through cruelty; he is of a much higher order, and, it is through submitting, that the woman, then becomes, most actualized and free?  So, the two play this sick game all weekend, and have tons of sex, and now, this very changed, liberated Sub, and her handsome Dom, part ways, her no longer needing his services, nor can he do anything further for him . . . gag me with a spoon!

At one point before the sex, the truth of the real man comes out . . . he is insecure as hell, and this is the only way, he can feel superior, and his game to get the sex he needs the pantiles women, and not be rejected! The Sub, asks him, why he got into this type of relationship with women, and he, very revealingly said . . . because I was sick and tired of trying to do this and that to them, and having them, move my hands, or push me away!  Really?  So, we are going to play games, with you acting like you are my guru? Uh, NO!  But, I can very much see, Shelley, Rachel and Kay, prostrating themselves at the feet of these allegedly, cooler than cool males, letting them tie you to a pole, leaving you for days, just throwing you a grapefruit or two, until you get to the weight your Dom, finds you attractive at!  LOL!  How in the fucking hell, do you think women, got so insecure and dissatisfied with out bodies in the first place?  In one scene the cheating husband, comes home, and after fucking his whore all business trip, sees that love looks well on his now cheating wife, and said, I am so horny, grabbing her from behind, and telling her that he has a boob job surgery scheduled for her, in the morning!  That is the straw that broke the camel's back . . . she tells him to fuck off, which I loved, she looked great, and got even better looking as she ditched all the men, and just became successful, without one, attracting more, now that she didn't care!  LOL, my style!

Dream on men . . . I have a better body image, 100 pounds overweight, obviously, not caring what any of you think, or I would play your fucked up, Dom/Sub, ugly shit!  But, I haven't seen a man worth it! LOL . . . Frank said . . . I have never been treated by a woman, like I have been by you! Amp up your game dude, you are dealing with an attorney, not some bar fly and mall rat!  LOL!  Men, like this, just don't know how to play the game with me!  Because, this dumb blonde is smarter than they are . . . they will want me long after, I leave them.  I had one of these fuckers, tell me, that if I were 30 or 40 lbs. thinner, he would be chasing me around the bedroom.  I left him and found, several guys who were smart enough, to get the spiritual connection, and chased me around the bedroom, just the way, I was, and had the greatest sex of their lives!  I dig smart men, black, white, of all shapes, sizes, heights and weights!  I don't want, soulless sex, and I am, very discriminating on that one . . . better be a connection, and love, or nothing dude!

Good Female Info on Sex

• once you discover that you are sexual, beautiful, at any size, shape and color, and start exploring your sexuality, you will discover, also that you have, at the higher levels of this game, between men and women, a moral, ethical, and social responsibility, not to hurt another person, with this power, love, passion, play, experimentation, and even playful games.
• remember, while liberated, from those old, long prescribed, social roles for women, that bind us, and liberate men, keeping us, locked and tied, letting them win a game, where we can rule every time . . . remember that men need sex more than women, they get built up with testosterone, until it is ready to drip out of their eyes . . . I heard one guy say, when you are starving, do you think someone is going to turn down a ham sandwich, waiting for steak?  LOL!
• men are more predatory, females can, due to this lack of total physical control of the penis, that is why there are so many rapes and assaults, they are driven to satisfy, that urge, right or wrong, and so they will get it where they can, and if they can't get it, they will murder, to get it and take and feed when they will!  Women, on the other hand, can afford to wait, pick the better men, those good for nesting, babies, protection, and have their pick of men, they find worthy of them.  Most men, keep those urges under control, normal, divert energy through sports, work, golf, etc.
• there are Alpha females . . . they can be particularly choosy, because, they can get any guy or most, whenever, whenever and however, and reject many advances by men, until they find one worthy of letting them, enter you, but only after they have proven, worthy, this woman, doesn't need to lower standards or rush anything, and she doesn't give a rat's ass, if they leave, because, there will be 10 guys to replace them.  She refrains from sex, not because he has to, but, because, she is waiting, watching, rejecting, and going for the cream of the crop, not just the crop!  LOL!
• sex should be on your terms, never with any one you don't want to be with, including a husband! Because it may just be a physical release for him, doesn't mean it will be for you . . . women are like cats, much harder to please and figure out, or get close to, men, are like dogs, some would say in heat, but, they are just happy to get a stroke on the head, and a rub on their stomachs for the most part!  I hate to make them that simple, but, simple beings they are . . . not much complication, driven by nature!
• and remember, you don't need a man, and you can be happy without one, sometimes, happier, or you could be miserable with one, or the best of both worlds, if you find a great, connected man, with a spiritual connections, and you have two bodies with one soul, that is best, shared, trusting, faithful, and loving.  When, this woman in the move, finally realizes she really doesn't like her husband, thinks this separation in making him a better father, because he has to deal with the kids on weekends, and his old wife, is replaced by a happier more confident woman, he comes back, wishing he had worked harder.  He stated a sad truth, that, I would like to promise that I could become the man you needed, before I cheated on you . . . but you wanted the man, I should have been, who never cheated on you.

We Will Figure Out This Battle of the Sexes!  It is In My Name to Do So . . . Jo (Male Name) + Ann (Female Name) . . . It is in My Soul To Rectify the Sexes, Psychic Survival!  LOL!

CHRISTMAS KISSES!

P.S., Men . . . I have never not had sex with a man, I feel, a connection, love, have soul with, or believe, that it would be a loving act, creating healing, goodness, or just healthy sport, if all parties, will be edified by this act!  Just two bodies coming together, for the shear physical act, with nothing going on . . . that is when you wake up in the morning, and wish the night before had not happened, or you want to sneak out before that person wakes up!  In other words, meaningless sex, is just that, meaningless!  There are many reasons to have sex, many good reasons, and I look at it, like this, if it is someone, I believe, is right, can be trusted, will be beneficial, for me and him, regardless of what, else is going on . . . rejecting someone like that, is like cutting off my nose to spite my face, I hunger too, but for the right reasons, bonding, closeness, healing, to express love.  Remember, love is the key ingredient, and without, it, might as well be a sport fuck, hard to get off, or either party, not fulfilling, and just as fulfilling as jumping on a tramp!  LOL!

THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA. MAJESTIC, MUSIC & MONEY . . . NA, FORGET THE MONEY, GOD'S REVOLVER (2006): "BUY US SHOTS, THAT'S WHAT WE WANT . . . WE WON'T DO ANYTHING UNTIL YOU BUY US SHOTS!" WILL PLAY FOR WHISKEY! LOL! FROM SHAKEN BABY SYNDROME TO STOCKHOLM SYNDROME, AND NOW, BABY'S GONNA ROCK! FUN NEW 23 SET VIDEO/AUDIO OF GOD'S REVOLVER, STARTING WITH, CRUCIAL FEST 5, SPONSORED BY MICHAEL BRUNK, NWLENS.COM, REAL TIME, GOING BACK TO THE WHISKEY SLAMMING DAYS, OF NOT KNOWING WHAT THEY CREATED, GREATEST WESTERN EVER TOLD IN MUSIC! SERIOUS HEAD SLAMMING IN 8/23: (1) ELLIOT, WITH HIS GREEN KNIT BEANIE HAT, STANDING IN THE BACKGROUND; (2) MOVES UP TO THE FOREFRONT, STARTS TO ROCK THAT HOT BASS GUITAR; (3) GETTING DOWN TO BUSINESS, TAKES OF BEANIE, SLAMS THAT DOWN, GAME ON, TAKING TO THE MICROPHONE TO SING WITH ROUSE; (4) MOVES OFF CENTER STAGE, TO THE LEFT, STARTS SOME SERIOUS HEAD BANGING, GUITAR BANGING BRAIN EXERCISE, AND FINGER GYMNASTICS; AND (5) AFTER THE SONG IS OVER, EL MOVES BACK IN THE CORNER FOR A CIGAR! LOL! I TOLD MY KIDS, NOT TO TELL ME WHAT THEY HAVE DONE, UNTIL THEY TURN 40 YEARS OLD, AND TURNED OUT FINE! LOL! I HERE, IN BROSIS SPEAK, THINKING MOM'S NOT LISTENING, THAT ON GOD'S REVOLVER TOUR, BACK IN 2008, AS HARD ROCK BAND OF THE YEAR, ELLIOT, ON A WHISKEY HIGH, JUMPED OFF AN 80 FOOT CLIFF TO THE WATER BELOW, NEVER CHECKING THE DEPTH OF THE WATER, NOR SEEING IF THERE WERE ROCKS BELOW . . . COULD HAVE ENDED UP, IN BOXES DONE BURIED! SEVERAL YEARS LATER, I ASKED ELLIOT WHAT HAPPENED, THAT HIS BROTHER AND SISTERS WOULD NOT TELL ME ABOUT, ON HIS LAST NATIONWIDE TOUR . . . HE COVERED HIS ASS WELL . . . OH, I JUST GOT MADE AT ADAM, WHO IS NOT IN THE REFORMED BAND, AS DRUMMER, AND SMASHED HIS DRUMS OVER HIS HEAD! NICE, I DON'T THINK YOUR FAM CREW WOULD HAVE PROTECTED YOU FROM MOM, WITH THAT ONE! LOL! I AM GLAD I DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT THE CLIFF DIVING! BIG SISTERS AND BRO, KNEW THAT ONE WOULD PISS ME OFF . . . ERROR ON THE SIDE OF SAFETY, SON! ACTUALLY, THE MUSIC THIEVES MAY HAVE SAVED THIS, CRAZY BAND'S LIVES, BACK IN THE DAY! LOL! I THINK THEY ARE READY FOR SUCCESS! ANYWAY, THERE ARE SOME FUN OLDIE VIDEOS, AND LIKE IN THE LYRICS OF "IRON FUCK" THAT STATE: "THIS RUST WILL NEVER REST NOW" AND, HAD THEY NOT BEEN SABOTAGED, THEY MAY NEVER HAVE RESTED OR RUSTED . . . IN "THE DITCH & THE DELTA" CD, CALLED, "WE RUST" THERE ARE THREE MONKS ON THE COVER, SOUNDING MUCH LIKE THE ACAPELLA INTRO IN "HOLY BREATH" WITH VOICES BACK IN THE DAY, THAT MATCH THE FACES OF THE COVER OF THE TANGENTIALLY CREATED BAND, D & D, NOTING THE FACT, THAT THE INV

Roca Del Desierto . . . The Nation Had To Grow Into Your Music, Just Like the Band Did!

"Love left you hungry . . . left a dead man running, a dead rider . . . Just look to the sky, look to the Sun, just look to the sky!" --God's Revolver, Lead Singer, Reid Rouse, Screams to the Dead Rider in All of Us!

In God's Revolver's original CD, called, Little Black Horse Where Are You Going With Your Dead Rider?, the band was actually, writing and singing about, an actual, dead rider, found still on his horse, dead with his boots still on, and trusting dog, still near his side, found by one of the band members and his father, who were out riding horses, on a bright fall afternoon, up Provo Canyon, and noticed the strange sight, of the cowboy, with a small trickle of blood, running out of his ear, appearing lifeless and dead, and wondering, what happened, murder? suicide? lover's triangle?  It is a natural tendency, for people, who witness a traumatic event, such as a death, to wonder, what the fuck happened here . . . he is too young . . . and then, we like to connect the dots, creating a whole circle of events, to fill in the missing gaps, of the story of this young man's life, that was taken, when he was too young!  You took my pain away, then gave it back again . . . as young men, now a bit older, raise their arms, at a concert, as if feeling the pain, of this young lover, possibly, caught in a lover's triangle, shot by a jealous husband, or a murderous lover--Who's fucking bed are you sleeping in tonight?  The band does an amazing job, of capturing the words, the passion, and the music, that is so perfect, for the story, the epic western, and the passion of life, love, and death, all part of living.

The one thing, I love, being the passionate person, I am, is the total, unabashed, engulfing, passion, mostly male passion--this is guy music, speaking to guys, telling their stories . . . and it is with male bravado, that the band plays their music with, the way, Reid Rouse, lead singer, raising his arm to the air, singing--Come on boys, let's give'em, what for! as the band, answers and drills the music back home, in God's Revolver @ Crucialfest 5, a band, almost 10 years older, makes the music taste better, due to seasoning . . . Reid still strong, with a voice, close to Jim Morrison of the Doors, often compared, still feels the music, maybe more, now, than he did, back when he is completely out of breath, in 10/23, exhausted, and bent over, taking a few minutes to recover, to get his balance back, as he puts 100% into the lyrics . . . and Elliot, then and now, along with other band members, head bang, rock to the music, so into it, they almost fall backwards, living, breathing, and feeling to the core of their beings, even at a time, early on, that, most of the band members had never even had a girlfriend.

THAT WAS THEN . . . THIS IS NOW!

But--they have had girls, hearts broken or healed, by now, although, I remember, back in the day, Elliot telling me the reason they were not touring on their new CD, was that Reid was laid up for several months, unable to play, back in 2011, when the band released their second CD, that I have not seen since that time, when Elliot gave me a copy, of their first, of three, or that was the original plan, with Sony Records, but, Rouse and his girlfriend were up on the balcony of a house in Salt Lake City, Utah, and they got into a fight, and I think, Reid either lost his balance, or even worse, his girlfriend, pushed him off the roof, but, nonetheless, I don't think the young band, had any clue, just how good their music was, back then, how indicative of life and love, back when, they were too young, too young, other lyrics in Scratch Dealt Me a Dirty Hand, and he did, Brett, my 3rd husband, seen, standing in the audience, with the punk hair, trying to blend in, 5 years after I had seen him, standing a foot taller than the rest of the young crowd! and then, he skulks away, disappearing into the crowd, the coward that he is . . . fake bands, spotlights 20 feet over an imitation of 5, glass hanging crystal balls, to distract the viewers, can't make up, for passion, power, lyrics, and the ideas of the originals---who struggled with the death of the dead rider, and I get, that Scratch gets that too, as he turns and leaves, forever, I hope!  

Wisdom out of the mouth of babes, now men, coming out of the woods, coming into their own . . . being resurrected . . . "just look to the SON! look to the sky!" Reid pleads for the last holy breaths of this young man on the black horse, symbolic of youth dying, as all men do, "WE Rust" . . .  you might live, young riders, to take the reigns of your own destiny, control your own, very manly music, TO RIDE AGAIN!

The Stockholm Syndrome--Surviving and Understanding Predators 

When Elliot, asked me for his first, red electric guitar, back when he was 11 or 12, I was practicing law, as an assistant attorney general, in Utah, with an office at the state capitol building, and there was a new syndrome, called, Shaken Baby Syndrome, which was related to and attributed, to deaths of infants, that came as a result, of a parents, sitter, or someone, taking a new born baby, still with the skull, or a soft spot on their skull, still undeveloped and open, so that the birth of a baby was easier, on the mother and the baby, as the newborn, made it through the birth canal, so small, that the brain and bones, covering the brain, had to contract, just to come through the mother and out into the world.  One male attorney, in the Utah Attorney Generals Office was an expert on the syndrome and spoke to audiences, attorneys, and cops, nationwide to educate them on the dangerous activity of picking up a baby, with a soft spot, still open, and shaking the baby, out of frustration, play, or to interact with that baby.  I find it, interesting, that 20 years down the road, in a very related, activity, and one, near and dear to me, seeing Elliot, the Red Jesus, still head slamming and banging, 20 years later, as he and I embarked on music and law, at about the same time . . . to hear about a recent study, that, with all the head banging, there were actual benefits, rather than deficits, to banding the brain around, not in a loose skull, but, in a fully developed, tight, hard as nails, skull, and a protected brain, that can, endure any beating, with Elliot's head banging, consistent, constant, and completely wild! but safe, and he has the grades to prove it!

The Stockholm Syndrome Got Its Name from a Hostage Situation, That Took Place in Stockholm, Sweden

This morning, I was watching a true crime episode, in which, a young married couple, go fishing for the weekend, up at a remote lake in the forest, and spend hours, not being able to catch a fish.  There was another fisherman, up at the lake, who told the young couple, that there was another lake, about three miles, more remote, that he heard from other fishers, that the fish were biting like crazy, and if they wanted him to show them where the lake was, he would be glad to accompany them, because he was interested in better fishing too.  Once up at the lake, the two men, took a walk, and the young bride, celebrating her first wedding anniversary with her husband, was cooking dinner.  Suddenly out of the blue, she hears a gun shot ring out, and looks up, to see her dog, she had since she was a young girl, take off into the forest, to where the shot rang out . . . later she heard another shot, and the dog, stopped barking.  Eventually, Tom Brown, the name of the other fisherman, who showed the pair the sight, came to the fire, and told the girl, that he shot her husband and also her dog that attacked her.  The girl, only 17 years old, went into shock, and the man, much older, told her, she needed to stay with him, and he took her deeper into the woods.

After several days of walking and rape, taking place, periodically through the day, the man, softened by this girl's, nightly reading of the scriptures, decided, they needed to go back to town, and report the accidental shooting, which became the story, of both the man, and his three day or so, captive, whom he had killed, both her husband, boyfriend, since she was 15 years old, and her life long pet, which at first, the cops accepted, without question, seeing that the gun could have gone off, when the man, handed the 22 Model Savage Rifle, to the other man.  With the statements of both the man and the dead man's wife, who also lost her dog, in the incident, the cops, had no suspicions that the story, or the death, was the result of anything but, an accident, that can happen, up in the woods, and with guns.  However, as the girl's mother, much older and more experienced, knowing, more the hearts of men, and the innocence of her daughter, when hearing the whole story, said . . . this was no accident, that man, murdered your husband and dog, to get to you!  When the young woman, was able to process this incident, and make sense of it all, she was able to see, that, the man, killed what she loved, to get to her, and she changed her story, and the man, was charged with first degree murder!  And he was convicted!

4 Elements to the Stockholm Syndrome: (1) a traumatic event or episode; (2) isolation of the victim or hostage; (3) indoctrination; and (4) the promise of reward . . . safety for this young woman

As experts were called into the case, to rehabilitate the girls, first police statement, the criminologists and psychologists, said, this statement was completely consistent with the four phases and elements of someone, in a hostage situation, being held against their will, after the shooting of a loved husband and dog, in fear of her own life, being held, raped repeatedly by the same man, and hearing his side of the story, or his facts, and his version of the shooting, which, she was not close enough to see, making, it now her only version of what happened, being totally brainwashed and indoctrinated, with the promise, that she would be safe, which would totally be on her mind, in light of the fact that 2 people and a dog, went fishing, and only one person and the murder, would make it alive out of the woods!  This syndrome was applied to Patty Hurst, kidnapped and taken hostage, later, being involved with the captors, in a bank robbery . . . something she didn't need to do, with plenty of money, being the heir of the newspaper mogul father, William Randolf Hurst, whom I believe had been hit up for a ransom, in exchange for his daughter's release, and with her later, sympathizing with her kidnappers, even siding with them, over her father!  Many situations have risen, given, wings and meaning to this syndrome, first acknowledged, as the hostages in the Swedish incident, actually, denigrated their own country, and spoke against it, and for their new captors of another nationality.

This young girl, still, I am sure, in denial, shock and unable to process, this incident herself, still traumatized by the fact, that she was held by the man who murdered her husband on purpose, was surely, a victim and suffering from the Stockholm Syndrome.  As I finished the episode, I did what, I used to rarely do, but seem to be doing it at very strange times, I sneezed, as in 'tis you!  This man's name, in the TV show, and case, the murderer, was, Tom Brown, with double symbolic significance to me.  The CIA, had lunch with my client, Tom Vail, and basically, had someone, the other me, probably attorney, Kay, now with Brett, the same pair, who stole, Elliot's music, with family help, Shelley, closest cousin, Isaac . . . brown hair, brown eyes, and Kay's first husband, being Brown, as in Tim Brown, of Bountiful, Kay's husband and Shelley's friend, since high school!  So, the name, Tom, became, symbolic of the CIA . . . that is just how my mind works.  But, the man in the show, also, looked, very much like Brett! and he had that predator attitude, of taking whatever in the hell he wants!

Elliot Was the Prize Brett Wanted

Elliot and God's Revolver Band, where his trophy, the prize . . . after I left him, Kay, was close enough to be a substitute for me, and Isaac, at first, became a substitute for Elliot . . . Isaac, could be, genetically, explained away as the product or son of Brett and Kay, or Brett and Shelley . . . but brown and hazel, without blue, can't create, blue eyes and red hair of Elliot!  Predators, derive pleasure from pain.  I don't know, that I was a victim of the Stockholm Syndrome, but I was in a very isolated place, Mt. Sterling, with a captor, who had the truck, after a very traumatic experience, that of being told I was going to die, and having to give up my law practice.  I didn't need to be indoctrinated, the government, or Shelley, or the FBI, or whomever, poisoned me, had fucked my mind and brain up major, it was like being in a fog, and I was like a 5 year old hostage.  I guess the promise of a reward, was, not dying, having Brett take care of me, which he did . . . but as I started to get better, my will power started to come back, and he started losing control over me, until, finally I left.

However, even after leaving Brett, there was some residual, due to the fact that, it took another 4 years for me, to realize that I was not dying and to get my law license reactivated--but the mob, took my house, cases, furniture, right before I was going to the 10th Circuit, with Kay taking my place, and re-traumatizing me, followed by Allan Rex Bess's death, and non-stop since, and in a relentless fashion, have not let up since, the release of Elliot's band's, first CD with Sony, that, as far as I am aware, was never released--by the real band.  All the way along, I saw, step by step and plan by plan, sabotage by sabotage, how these fuckers took over Elliot's bands' music . . . and I think, God's Revolver, was second to Parallax, that had involved and sensationalized, Blake Donner's death, and the Provo Death Cave, incident, that had traumatized Elliot, big time!  You have a traumatized son and mother! and total access to the music and the money!  Actually, both parents were taken out of the game, about the time, Parallax was getting big back in 2000 . . . Zeke or Richard, Elliot's dad got fired from his 17 year job, and successful attorney mother, was poisoned, and suppose to die, then when the first band hit big time, in the underground music scene, popping out, CD's every time I talked to Elliot, Blake Donner, and three others were murdered!  Trauma, trauma, trauma . . . and who would understand this syndrome better than, an FBI or CIA agent?

New True Crime Series Coming Out . . . FBI Serial Killer

At the same time, that Elliot's band was hitting the big time, with God's Revolver, there was, back in about 2008, a new TV series, called 24 Hours, Keifer Southerland, FBI hit man, and I remember, both Rachel and my father, being so enamored with this series, taking it all in, loving and discussing it, along with Rachel, disappearing, along with Isaac, and Shelley for about a two year period, between, 2007 and 2009, when I knew, the family, with the help of Brett, and other family members, was stealing Elliot's band's music, and I even knew who was taking Elliot's place, Ryan Chambers, a red head guitar player, good enough, to at least fake the music on stage, with laser lights, and spotlights, above the heads, giving the illusion of a real band, but, without the passion and authenticity, that are so critical to lasting success and staying power!  I also, knew that the record label was Exigent out of Kaysville . . . that little CIA symbolism and signs, so agents can communicate without talking!

Double Trouble . . . The Death of JoAnn Catronack, of Catasauqua, Pennsylvania . . . Mother and Baby Murdered by Ex-Girlfriend of Husband!

It is one thing, when you are dealing with a psychopath for an ex-husband, a predator, a ruthless killer, and you are his prey, and so is your baby, but, double the trouble, when, his new girlfriend, allegedly you, or me, is also a predator, a psychopath, and they are both spies, for the government, teaming with a family, with a former spy for a father, and a few son-in-laws, hired and married to infiltrate a family, of targets, with all spouses teaming up about the time of little brother's band success . . . with total power, total access, and total, ability to steal the music, taking the money, from the band, to fund the new band, and efforts to keep the parents, isolated, without money, connections, and power of their own, that they both, used to have, making them financially, struggling, and then, go after them, time and time again, with all the power of the Mormon Church, using, members to harass both parents, with cops, prosecutors, planning departments, judges, legislators, etc., all under the allegiance of the church banner and whomever, they want taken care of these minions, useful idiots will take care of, without question . . . because, when the prophet has spoken, the debates over, and the same with the government, for these little stooby doos!

When a Man Is Left By One Wife . . . The New One, Always Has to Worry About a Rival in the Old Wife, and Even Worse, When You Have Stolen the Old Wife's Identity! Son's Band, and Career, Cases, Water Compacts, Continuing the Fraud to Protect the Original Goal of Taking the Music!  Whether They are Partners in Love, Or Partners in Crime . . . They Share Tons of Damning Secrets Together, Leaving them Totally Bound for Life!

So, in this true crime episode, I emphasis, the true crime, because, the friends, co-workers, fellow church goers, family members, cops, prosecutors, investigators, and judges, don't tend to see crime in their fellows who have made them money, brought fortune and fame to the state, and acclaim through a fucking huge ass case, that the first wife did! the real attorney, the real member of the U.S. federal court system . . . not a stand in fraud . . . no pretenders wanted here!  So, with so much skin in the game, that double, is trouble, from both sides of the game, from the original who can put, new girlfriend, now oldie moldie, to shame, and the thoughts of any happiness for the old wife, with a new man, is also a threat to ex-husband, who will kill him or them!  

Okay, with that said, shortly before JoAnn's death, one night, three days before death, she got a disturbing phone call, later to be disclosed by a friend or her mother-in-law, after JoAnn and her baby's death, a call that came from a Patricia Roar, a former girlfriend, of JoAnn's husband, who wanted to get together with her old flame, and JoAnn, told her, he was married now, and had a baby, so she needed to leave her and her family lone--and she slammed down the phone.  It was guessed, that, Patricia got mad at the new wife--significantly younger than both the husband and Patricia, which might have added to the anger, when, JoAnn, told her to get lost, and stay away from her husband.  Looking at the phone call, and evidence, connecting dots, it looked like a very pissed off older woman, came to ex-boyfriend's home, cut the phone lines and electricity, later cutting her victim off at the car, as she buckled her young son, into his car seat, and Patricia took JoAnn and her baby, into the woods, in a rural area, first shot her, but the gun jammed, so she, then beat JoAnn to death, hitting her 19 times, leaving her and her 4 month old baby to die . . . the baby was found on her abdomen, and when Patricia was charged, she was also, charged with killing JoAnn and her baby boy.

Once Again, the Symbolic Names Can't Be Ignored!

If you take the first true crime episode, and this next one, you will get a big picture of my case, in its entirety:

• Tom Brown, Tom (CIA) Brown, husband of Kay Burningham Brown Buttars ?, or that name could serve as a class of men, all members of the intelligence community, either FBI or CIA, and I believe, all the insiders, the men, whom have been part of my life of the last 4 years, or more, starting with Brett, have been top cops, with an attraction to me, due to my government and constitutional preservation, protection and defense, against the Patriot Act, representing, a group of I would say, men, whom, have their way with women, as a part of their job, all knowing each other, sending one human male sacrifice, as soon as the last one is rejected by me, making a class of powerful men, who all are drawn to me, but, have long hated me as well! and they all are predators, and I am their prey, as is my son, somehow, I think, these men concocted, some hair ball scheme, that due to me killing asset forfeiture laws, that spread from what I did in Utah to, other states, not only in that area, but with doctors and financial planners, giving the government a huge ass hit, and set back, keeping men, like these from the cookie jar . . . so they made it Cookie's Jar . . . or their CIA chick's jar! all of me! Oh, I almost forgot, remember, I wrote about Elliot's favorite dark green knit beanie, he wore for years, it seemed, partly to keep warm and partly to keep his wild ass hair in place! but, in Playplaceland, here at McDonald's, some guy, a salt and pepper, gray haired, Brett look-alike, was sitting in with a kid or two, but he was wearing a green knit beanie!  I always thought, that someone stole that, hat, either someone close to me, or at my house, or after Elliot visited me, but, I knew, that it was due to the fact, that the hat would be worth a small fortune, or already was . . . Isaac may have taken it . . . I remember being pissed, because Elliot was always wearing it, and he missed it, and I knew, it was his favorite color, and the replacement black knit hat, wasn't as perfect for his red or copper hair, being a color suited for redheads!  I was just watching a new crime episode, in between writing, while eating lunch, and, the episode was called, Common Thread, the situation of a serial killer, who admitted to killing 10 women, several the cops didn't even know about, but what connected all the other killings they knew about, was a red fiber, found in one make of car, and found on all the victims!  The thought came to mind, as I walked by this man with a goatee, and looking like an older version of Brett, that, Isaac or someone close to me, might have given that knit hat to Brett! and perhaps, someone close to the case, will have seen him wearing it, and also, going to the video, 8/23, where Elliot yanks the green beanie off, throws it to the ground, and connects, the same hat to the predator and the victim or prey! 
• Patricia Roar, again, there is tremendous meaning in the killer's name, on several levels.  The actual acronym, of the Central Intelligence Agency, or CIA, is in the name of the killer, Patricia, indicating to me, a COMPANY gal, or insider.  Remember the song by Katy Perry, Roar . . . your going to hear me ROAR, this rival of the younger wife, having just had a baby, was a cowgirl, had won some contest in the rodeo, had horses, which was one of the things that connected her to the murder, the body had been dumped, out in a rural area, where there were horses near by, and this chick had some.  The thing that is interesting to me, is, that, once you take, away, all that makes a person, who they are, there is something very traumatizing to that person, and something very enabling to the person, who is then, anointed with your successes and titles, as is the case with sister, Shelley, who is not an attorney, nor professor, or anything, and has had shitty jobs, fending for herself, so if the FBI or the CIA, were to contact her, and ask her to help, take me down, you have the effect of an older sister, who may have been the one who made the poison that took me down, had everything to gain, sibling rivalry, always in MY SHADOW, wanting to kick me down a notch or two, making me, literally, and figuratively younger, or taking away my power tools, so to say, which is exactly what they did, when I was poisoned back in 2000!  So, it is the fraud broads who, ROAR, because, of the theft, they are seen as the ones, who did my cases, had my kids, had my more than stellar career, involving all the top professions: I am an attorney, was a professor, and worked, as the general counsel, over the doctors, saved them from government investigations, having still not recovered from what I did, then doing the same thing, with financial planners, only getting to them, before, much damage was done . . . so being assigned, not only the title of all I had done, and stripping me of all of it, leaves the affect of a much younger, more vulnerable women, and it was big sis, or rival Kay, who had the power boys and government behind them, as I had previously had!  I believe that both Shelley and Kay, had previous relationships with Brett, prior to me marrying him!  Both of them, may have rejected him, or he may have rejected them . . . Kay did everything in her power, to let him know she was jealous, she cooked, asked Brett to do this or that, Honey Do lists, and as the first meeting with Shelley, Brett, followed her in the kitchen and left me alone, I would say, indicating, this was a planned deal, they the team or the predators, and me their prey!  But, they, all three, plus, a few more Southwicks, could not get this Katy Perry Mason, to stop ROARING . . . I did it ALL you fucks!  Another aspect, is the male rival, and JFK, John Fitzgerald Kennedy, I have symbolically, connected to the word, Fitzpatrick, or connecting to James "Angel" Kennedy, whom, knowing Kay, and Shelley, and James . . . all parties may have fucked each other, with Brett and James, very much being Alpha males, and knowing men, competitors, therefore, adding a male rivalry to the female rivalry, and twisting and complicating everything, with male and female jealousy, envy . . . Brett had me when I was doing nothing, stole, my old career, then, going all the way to the United States Supreme Court, after being told I would never work again, attests to him, my superiority over, both Shelley and Kay, or Rachel, for James, or the fake James, all as being inferior, with the roar, of a fake, being drowned by the roar of Perry Mason, the attorney mom, on the son, born in May . . . all over the Internet, and famous in face and name, if not in money! trumping that butt fucking faggot Isaac, who participated, and blocking that fag, from his glory, by writing about Elliot in my blog, putting pictures of him, writing about his hair, and his stories and history . . . and lazy ass Isaac, is standing in his cousin's fame, once again . . . there is no short cut to success, dumb asses, and that goes for Rachel, who is ME as of late, being blonde with blue eyes, to cover, me, as Elliot's mom . . . no, Rachel's boys are fat asses! with flat pancake faces, like Rachel's!  And MOM ROARS AGAIN! as I can with all my kids!  All potential male lover, rivals, have been murdered by the possessive ex-husbands, but, James would be in their class, and with the Kennedy name, they seemed to just warn him, not kill him, but I am sure they would, if there was a serious threat, because, I am the TRUE QUEEN, and the TRUE KING maker!  Kay, Shelley, Rachel, etc. are only the Queens, as long as they are ME!
• JoAnn Catronack . . . JoAnn, the one who had the abortion, that strangely, my rivals want to claim, even the two mums, Shelley and Rachel, who had babies, part of the Triplets as they are called: (1) Tyrone Southwick, Shelley's brat . . . probably FBI too, giving jobs to her losers, never can do anything without Mommy Dearest who fucked them over so much! (2) Emily Hickey, Rachel's daughter, who, either just had a baby, out of wedlock, of course, like she would have 4 years earlier, had I not mothered her; and then (3) Tipper or MaryJane Nelson, at college somewhere, Mark and Marcie's daughter!  Had I not aborted, the baby I was carrying, the first 19 or so days in May of 1994 or 5, I would have had a baby, the Quads, making four babies born, all in the month of March, but I chose otherwise, so, Shelley had a baby, Rachel had a baby, and if I am not Elliot's mother, prove who had the baby I aborted? and prove who I am?  I can prove who these women or sisters, if by any stretch of your brain, you could classify them as sisters, are, if they are not me, because, they live double lives . . . so does Kay, therefore, who in the fuck am I, if not me . . . I am sitting right here in Missoula, at McDonald's at 2:32 P.M., and I will go wave at the surveillance cameras to prove it . . . I think I have a buck left on my money card, I will get a fudge Sunday to prove, card ending in 0192!  So, the last name is symbolic too, and this is how, the CIA and FBI, communicate, watching surveillance cameras, through gestures and symbolic messages and names, words, and codes, they can pass along information without talking, but, I have a knack, in doing this, having long, used symbolism in dream interpretation, and as an English major, using colors, words, and all to interpret, the subconscious messages of a writer or the conscious messages, in the Scarlet Letter!  I have mentioned that one of my words to connote, CIA is CATS or CAT, as in JoAnn Catronack . . . I have trained myself, not only to read your messages to each other, but to key into your subconscious messages, that are God driven . . . you can't help but reveal yourselves!
• Roger Dingeman . . . Ding E or Elliot Man!
• Peggy Courter . . . one of my signs for Kay, came, right after, Brett and Kay spent the arranged weekend together, while I was a sideline.  But, from that point on, I didn't want Brett and was just looking for the right time to escape, Mt. Sterling, and one day, I had taken a walk, to get out of the compound and away from my captor, and I was over hiding at the church farm house, across the way and field from our house, thinking and planning my escape, without a car and being watched 24/7 at home, but there was this peg board in the garbage at the house, and I thought, Kay must be getting bored, waiting for Brett, an obvious attraction, either from before or after, with me as a sideline, but a threat, I was NOT in true form, and not me, as I am now.  Brett started to expect more of me, in our relationship, as I healed, but I was not willing to give more, and Kay had cooked, worn aprons, and I could tell Brett liked a picture of Kay in shorts and mountain biking, maybe he took the picture?  But, I wanted out, don't like sloppy seconds, or trashy firsts, and I was mentally gone, anywhere, as soon as I had a way out!  Brett controlled my money too, as my representative payee . . . he signed the application to Social Security as HUSBAND, probably the only authentic proof of the status we had, under the nonsolemnized or non-ceremonial marriage statutes we used to get married!  So, this name is particularly telling, in and of the fact, that, Kay got credit for the Brock case, and the 10th Circuit Court brief, all fucking brilliant and famous! people were paying to get hot copy of my writing, just like they do now . . . Leopards don't change their spots . . . Kay wrote loser books, and her blog, now is loser! if you can find it, or it may be MINE, with a different name?  So, the boyz club and all the paid, bought and dead if they tell, killers on the loose, would say, Kay did the Brock and other cases . . . Peggy Courter or Kay Court Her!
• Trooper Robert Egan . . . Mayor of Missoula, Mayor Engen, and I always misspell it . . . but, Sheriff D.J. McDermitt, is surely one of theirs . . . may indicate, locals!  There was hardball politics played, in the race between McDermitt and to get, Undersheriff at the time, Jason Clark, or something like that . . . too many names, too many places, too many crime shows!  LOL!  City cops answer to the mayors, sheriffs answer to the people, what better, in this world of trying to unify cops, erasing lines of demarcation, than to get rid of that distinction between the sheriffs and the city cops, and make them all answerable to the mayor, through the sheriff? or putting insiders in the sheriff's department, to keep control away from the people, or at least split loyalty, keeping it with, cops!
• Ke Jun Kim . . . that is pronounced, KAY June (Isaac's birthday) Kin! that is how it is phonetically said or sounded!  And this guy was an entomologist or someone who studies bugs! Surveillance 24/7 gives spy gals, what I am doing at all times, I have to go through God and symbols, TV shows and other signs . . . I don't have the fucking government to help me, the fucking government is on my back, 24/7, giving the Company girlz, my information REAL TIME!
• Joseph Dizzino . . . Jo . . . Dies . . . I Know!
• Sarah O'Conner . . . mother, Sarah is the red head daughter of Sue and Kevin Schmidt, suggesting, that Susan is the mother of the red headed son . . . NO, Sue and Kev, have 2 brown haired sons, no redheads, but three redheaded daughters!  Believe me, they, have me so buried, you would be hard pressed to guess who I am, even if you knew me, due to lies, sex and video tapes, rock and roll, drugs and such.  No, I would never put this time, into my sisters' kids . . . only MINE, Greta, Nicole, Christian, and Elliot . . . the HOT HOUSE!  HOT MAMA'S MAKE HOT KIDS!

CUT IT OUT!  FAST FOCUS TV!

Finish Your Sunday Off Holy!

P.S., It is interesting, in the death of JoAnn and her baby boy, very symbolic, the defense team of attorneys for, Patricia Roar, refused to accept the theory of the prosecution, when they said the motive for the murders, was revenge for telling the ex-girlfriend, to stay out of their lives, that she and her husband were married, and had a baby--stating that normal people don't act like that.  And the prosecutors said, You are right . . . normal people don't murder people, when they don't like what they are told to do, and disagree with . . . and Patricia is NOT normal!  If there is anything, the one point, I want people to learn from my case, is that psychopaths, are not normal people, they don't react normal, nor do they do normal things, that is what makes it so difficult for, those of us, who society would classify as normal, people who respect marital boundaries, respect life, respect someone's sincere position protecting their family unit, and the greater majority of us, would never, ever, kill someone, for telling us to stay away from a husband or a wife, but, these people are not normal!!!!!!!  You could say, they are nice, charming, interesting, intelligent, smart, beautiful, but, they don't react normally, they don't think normal, they do things, other people would not do, and they get away with it, because, normal people can't believe ANYONE would do this or that, and the unbelief, is what stops normal people from acknowledging what I would consider, pure evil, masked, in whatever nice wrapping it comes in . . . stealing someone's ID, is not normal, but, there are many people who do it . . . but, actually claiming you are the person, taking everything from them, including trying to take their own children and grandchildren, is so far from normal, that it is unbelievable, and we refuse to believe it, so the person they are doing it to, gets re-victimized by the system, because, they due to unbelief, see no evil, hear no evil, and speak no evil, allowing the EVIL to get away, and the Good, left unprotected against these predators! 

THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA!

BE YOUR OWN CRIMESTOPPER! SERIAL KILLERS GO AFTER WOMEN, MEN, BOTH: RAPE, TORTURE, SODOMIZE, TRASH THEIR VICTIMS NUDE BODIES--"HE WAS SO NORMAL, IF I DIDN'T KNOW HE WAS ONE OF THE HILLSIDE RAPISTS/KILLERS, I WOULD HAVE BOUGHT HIS ACT!" --FEMALE, DEPUTY PRISON WARDEN. I DID BUY A RAPIST/SERIAL KILLER'S ACT; I WOULD LIKE TO THINK, THAT WAS BECAUSE I WAS DYING: HOWEVER, I AM NOT SURE? THE ACTOR IN THE MOVIE, "THE CASE OF THE HILLSIDE STRANGLER" LOOKED JUST LIKE BRETT, MY THIRD HUSBAND. WOMEN DESCRIBED BOTH THESE MEN, AS HANDSOME, SEXY, ATTRACTIVE, HAD AN ANIMAL MAGNETISM ABOUT THEM . . . WOMEN ARE DRAWN TO THEM, ALTHOUGH, IN THE MOVIE, THE RAPIST/STRANGLER TAG TEAM, WHO RAPED, SODOMIZED, TORTURED AND DISCARDED THE NUDE BODIES OF THEIR VICTIMS, BASICALLY TOOK THE GIRLS OR WOMEN, FROM AGES 12 TO 24 BY SURPRISE, ATTACKING THEM FROM BEHIND, CLAIMING TO BE POLICE OFFICERS AGAIN--AS MANY SERIAL KILLERS TO, INCLUDING COPS SERIAL KILLERS, BECAUSE, WOMEN GOT WITH THE, GET IN CARS THAT ARE NOT EVEN POLICE OR SQUAD CARS, WHILE REJECTING, THEY FOLLOW AUTHORITY, TO THEIR DEMISE! IS YOU HAVE NOT BEEN SPEEDING, OR BREAKING THE LAW, NEVER, EVER, PULL OVER . . . IN BOZEMAN, MONTANA, I HAD JUST LEFT THE LIBRARY, WITH TWO COPS, LOOKING FOR ME . . . GO FIGURE, NO CHARGES, AND SUDDENLY, AS I DROVE DOWN THE MAIN STREET, A BIG ASS TRUCK, CAME UP FROM BEHIND ME, AND HIT ME, ON PURPOSE . . . I BELIEVE, IT WAS, PROBABLY SOMEONE ON THE PAYROLL OF THE MAFIA, OR BRETT, SHELLEY, KAY OR THE DIRTY COPS, AND I WAS FULLY AWARE OF THE FACT, THAT THE PERSON, WHO HITS SOMEONE FROM BEHIND, A TRIP MANY KILLERS WILL USE TO GET YOU TO PULL OFF THE ROADWAY, ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR THE TICKET, REGARDLESS OF WHO IS AT FAULT, BECAUSE, IF YOU GET HIT, THE DRIVER BEHIND YOU WAS EITHER DRIVING TOO CLOSE, OR NOT WATCHING YOU AND DRIVING DEFENSIVELY . . . SO APPLYING THAT LAW, I WAS ACTUALLY THE ONE WHO GOT HIT, AND THE TRUCK WAS FLASHING ME WITH HIS BRIGHTS, FOLLOWING ME, BUT I WOULD NOT PULL OVER, AND THOUGHT, I AM GIVING YOU A BREAK, FUCKER, OR YOU HAVE OTHER REASONS TO PULL ME OVER, AND I THOUGHT, IF YOU WANT TO FOLLOW ME ALL THE WAY TO WEST YELLOWSTONE, WHERE I WAS HIDING OUT, SHORTLY BEFORE THE 2012 ELECTIONS, IN FEAR OF MY LIFE, GO AHEAD! AS I GOT ON THE FREEWAY, THEY STOPPED FOLLOWING ME! HOWEVER, ONCE I HIT WEST YELLOWSTONE, A SHERIFF PULLED IN THE GAS STATION BEHIND ME! GO AHEAD FUCKER, EVERYONE CAN SEE YOUR SHIT, SO GO FOR IT . . . HE DROVE AWAY AND LEFT ME ALONE! EVEN IF A COP PULLS YOU OVER, GET TO THE CLOSEST TOWN, GAS STATION, A WELL LIGHTED PLACE WHERE THERE ARE OTHER PEOPLE, SO YOU ARE PROTECTED, AND FOR SURE, LOCK YOUR CAR, KEEP YOUR WINDOW UP, OR LEAVE A 1/4TH INCH CRACK, IF YOU FEEL YOU WERE LEGITIMATELY BREAKING THE SPEED LIMIT . . . BUT, UNTIL THERE IS BACK UP, OR ANOTHER PERSON, DON'T GET OUT OF THE CAR! THE FEMALE WARDEN WAS DRIVING 80 MILES PER HOUR, WHEN THE ITALIAN STALLION KILLER COUSINS, PULLED HER OVER, BEFORE SHE KNEW WHO THEY WERE--SHE DID SEVERAL THINGS RIGHT: (1) SHE KEPT HER WINDOW UP; (2) DEMANDED TO SEE BOTH OF THE ALLEGED OFFICERS' BADGE, NUMBERS . . . ONLY ONE OF THEM HAD A BADGE, THAT WAS FOR A RESERVE OFFICER, SO THEY GOT PISSED; (3) THEY THREATENED TO HAVE HER PICKED UP OR TO RADIO HER IN . . . SHE NOTICED, THEY DIDN'T HAVE A RADIO TO CALL DISPATCH; (4) SHE STARTED, FAKING CRYING AND MAKING A SCENE, SO MUCH SO, THEY THOUGHT SHE WAS DRAWING TOO MUCH ATTENTION, SHE WAS TOO MUCH WORK, SO THEY LET HER GO! LOL! SMART LADY! THE SERIAL KILLERS WOULD GO OUT TROLLING FOR WOMEN, EVEN IN BROAD DAYLIGHT, STOP AND JUST GRAB A WOMAN WAITING FOR A BUS OR A RIDE . . . ON ONE OCCASION, ANOTHER WOMAN, SAW THE VICTIM, FIGHTING THE TWO MEN AND SHE CAME TO HELP HER, HITTING THE MEN WITH HER PURSE, REFUSING TO LET THE TWO MEN, TAKE THE WOMEN, AND SHE STOPPED, WHAT WOULD HAVE BEEN THE NEXT MURDER! THIS WOMAN, ALSO REPORTED THE INCIDENT TO THE COPS, AND THEY DIDN'T BELIEVE HER OR COROBERATE HER STORY OR TAKE A WITNESS STATEMENT--I CAN'T TELL COPS, AND PEOPLE, HOW MANY OF THESE SERIAL KILLERS, HAVE BEEN BOTH REPORTED, QUESTIONED AND EVEN JAILED, AND RELEASED! I WATCHED, ONE OF THE WORST BRITISH SERIAL KILLERS, WHO BIT THE NIPPLES OFF HIS VICTIMS, AND WHILE HE WAS IN JAIL, HE FILED ALL HIS TEETH DOWN, SO THEY DIDN'T HAVE HIS TEETH TO COMPARE TO THE BITE MARKS ON THE VICTIMS BREASTS! HIS YOUNGER BROTHER SPENT, MORE TIME IN JAIL FOR A BAR BRAWL THEN THE KILLER OF SEVERAL WOMEN, DID, BEING RELEASED, TO KILL THE SECOND HE GOT OUT ON THE STREETS AGAIN! TRUST YOUR GUT FEELINGS, BOTH AS A COP AND AS SOMEONE STALKED BY A RAPIST OR SERIAL KILLER, BE ALERT, CROSS THE STREET, TURN AROUND AND REFUSE TO LET SOMEONE GET BEHIND YOU, FIND ANOTHER PERSON ON THE STREET, GO TALK TO THEM, ALWAYS GREET SOMEONE, YOU RUN INTO AT NIGHT, WITH A LOUD, STRONG VOICE, SAYING "HOW ARE YOU?" OR LETTING THEM KNOW, YOU ARE NO WIMP, NOT AFRAID . . . I HAVE SPENT, ABOUT 100 NIGHTS ON THE STREETS, PER YEAR, OVER THE LAST 4 YEARS . . . RAPE, KIDNAPPING AND MURDER, ARE OFTEN ISSUES OF POWER AND CONTROL, THE PERP FANTASIES HAVING POWER OVER THEIR VICTIM . . . LET THEM KNOW, YOU ARE IN CHARGE, BREAK THE FANTASY OF FEAR, POWER IS GIVEN, NOT TAKEN--STAND YOUR GROUND, BE POWERFUL! IT WORKS--I STOPPED A RAPE, WITH A 6'5" MAN, WEIGHING TWICE MY SIZE, LAYING ON TOP OF ME, AFTER HE THREW ME TO THE GROUND--I DIDN'T FIGHT, SCREAM, AND CALMLY ASKED HIM, WHAT HE WAS DOING . . . WHEN HE SAID, I'M GOING TO RAPE YOU, AND I RESPONDED, "NO YOU ARE NOT." I TOOK CONTROL, AND HE PULLED ME UP, AND WAS WORRIED I WAS GOING TO REPORT HIM TO THE COPS, WHICH I DID! ONE OF MY TOUGH, OHIO FARM GIRL FRIENDS, HAD A COWBOY PULL A KNIFE ON HER, THREATENING TO RAPE AND KILL HER, BUT BY THE TIME SHE GOT DONE WITH HIM, SHE PUT HIM ON A RELIGIOUS GUILT TRIP, PROMINENT LOCAL PARENTS, HE ENDED UP, CRYING, APOLOGIZING, AND HE GAVE HER $100, BUT SHE STILL TURNED HIM IN . . . THE NEXT GIRL MIGHT NOT BE AS LUCKY OR STRONG! YOU AND PREVENT YOUR OWN RAPE OR MURDER, BUT THE SMARTER YOU ARE, THE EASIER THAT IS . . . ONCE IN THEIR GRIP, YOUR LIMIT YOUR CHANCES!

Cops Can't Be Everywhere, So, You Have to Protect Yourselves!

Three may keep a secret, if two are dead!--Benjamin Franklin

In order to be a serial killer, in classification, the person, mush kill three people . . . but, generally, two of them are dead!  I would say, in the last 15 years, every intimate relationship, was either with a serial killer, a contract killer, or a killer cops, with no, exceptions!  I believe, that, the music, money, and identity thieves, were total power and control freaks, who, if they could control me, kill me, or have someone else control me, they could, literally, have access and control, previously millions, now, billions!  Do, I think, these people regret what they did, depending on if they get caught our not, or punished, which, appears to be unlikely, maybe they will lose their hot jobs, in Washington, D.C., having gained access to those jobs, through, first, me bringing the attention of the feds, to my family, friends, clients and children, through, my early activities as an attorney, if not, my grades and positions, in law school, alerting the power that be, who are foreign, to being, lovers of the Constitution, and generally Patriot Act Bratz, as I call them, seeing me as a total enemy to the state, for defending the state, in exactly what I took and oath, as did they, to do!  This crew of assassins, seemed to have goals other than those, of the United States of America, in mind, and were furthering the Bush/Illuminati doctrines, with ancient grans, taking roots, through the centuries, vying with the founding father's view of Utopia, in this new experiment, in the new world, with Europe, being the old world, America the new; however, these fuckers, had views of going back in time, rather than forward and my allegiance to American values, principles, political structures, were seen, right off the bat, as foreign to their goals and aspirations for the country, with a gold of another new world order, that looks much more like the old world order, of British monarchs and subjects, empire building if you will.

In retrospect, I actually, believe, that my announcement to my family of divorce and law school, both at the same time, was the nail in the coffin, for me, as far, as what my family, appears, looking back to have been into, or had grown into, mostly because of me, with government and anti-American government, entities, discovering, an enemy in me, and friends and allies in them.  So, I met, Jerry Owens, who pretended to be all about the U.S. Constitution, while doing everything he could to get me to drop out of law school, and give up on a dying or sinking ship; Brett, could be anything from a local hood, to a cop, to a federal serial killer or assassin, I see, the possibilities, for all, any, or some, from him.  Allan, aka, Frank, allegedly of Interpol, could, have actually, been, hired right out of prison, to kill Allan Bess, and later me, making room for Shelley and he, to take our places, which they tried to do, without, actually killing me, believing that to be, easy . . . but not turning out to be as easy as they thought!  LOL.  One of the things, that one of the Hillside Stranglers, liked to do, was pretend he was other people, like a psychologist with a Ph.D, although, the cops were wondering if, this case, was not just one of fake certificates, showing degrees, colleges of distinction, but, that, Bianci may have actually murdered the good doc, and took over his office, name, Ted McIntyre, very symbolic, given the fact that Dave McIntyre was the head of Iron County Narcotics Task Force . . . and it was the Hillside Strangler Task Force that took this guy down!  Biani, liked to or wanted to be a cop, pretended to be one, even rode around in a cop car, looking at the body dumping sites, with an actual police man, on the team members, on the investigation of his case.  Serial killers, love to get into the murder scenes, digging in with the cops, they like to help with the murder investigation, and show up at funerals and other places, of their victims!

All of these men, from, Jerry to Brett, Frank to Jack, Tony to Michael, Howard to Miles, Phillip to Kennedy, all seemed very much at home with cops, even claimed cop connections, alluding to the fact that they could protect me from cops, or don't worry about the cops, or joking around with the cops, even having Iron County cops, over 6 different times, allowing them to walk through my house, while I was out of town, taking pictures, of what they wanted to keep or steal from me, including my truck!  I kept dismissing my two black lovers, seeing little to make me think they were contract killers, or government assassins, until today, every time I thought of a list of guys, I had been with whom I would say, could be a killer, serial contract, or psychopath, with killer tendencies, this very large black guy, here at the Break Cafe in Missoula, kept walking by at the very minute, I was making a list and checking it twice of all those boyfriends and husbands, who were naughty or nice!  I left, working at Glacier National Park, because, Howard Pryor, allegedly, a cook, and one of the Cordon Bleu chefs, I met in less than three days . . . had never met a chef in my life, outside of work, and I met two in three days?  But, Howard helped me get a job up at Glacier, but, we were living up at the very most remote place in the Park, Swiftcurrent Lodge, no Internet, no cell phone connections, unless you went 12 miles down the road, where Howard's phone would work, but mine would NOT? and we were dependent on his truck to get us up and down to the main road!

Was Edward Snowden the NSA Agent, Who Fucked Up, When My 10,000 Word Computer Generated Note to Senator Hatch, Jumped the Borders and Restrictions of the Box, and Blew UP My Message, Now in 16 Point Type, Covering the Senator's Home Page, With My Threats To That Alleged, Constitutional Hero Who Voted for the Patriot Act . . . And I Believe was a Prime Mover, to Replace Me with A Washington, D.C., Version of Myself, Stealing my LIFE, LIBERTY AND PROPERTY!  Was Snowden, Looking at Being Fired, For My Assault?  NSA to Protect?  MAYBE?

But, on one beautiful June day, in 2013, Howard and I, went for a walk, and there were not really any tourists up in that area of the Park yet, and few employees, but, as we walked passed a waterfall, that had an old rickety, iron fence, that would not hold a 2 year old, Howard, acted like he was joking around and pretended to grab me by the shoulders and hold me out over the waterfall! and that same day, pretended to be, messing around, and held me hanging or my back, hanging over a bridge . . . he, like this guy, looked like a pro football player! and strong as an ox!  I left, and went to Utah, when I was suppose to be training at the main, East Glacier Lodge, at the time I left, giving me a nice, slick, get away, that Howard, could never forgive me for . . . he acted strange from that point forward, and could hardly look at me.  Miles, too, he awoke me on the Amtrak, when I was on my way, to visit my daughter, and lobby against the Cyber Intelligence Sharing and Protection Act, or whatever the natural name of the act was, and I had written to Senator Hatch, shortly, and I mean days, before, Edward Snowden, exposed the NSA for spying on American, cell phones and computers, with my 10,000 words, to Hatch, jumping out of the box, that was suppose to restrict my writing, with me threatening to come back and fight against the act, itself, if any one of the Utah delegation, votes for powers for the NSA . . . another reason, I believe, Miles, woke me up and wanted to get me to a Safe House, off my course of travel, which was a destination to D.C. and to my daughter's house, who lived at the time about 45 minutes away from the White House and Congress!  Miles got mad at me, for not allowing him back near my sleeping car, for not going down in the lower deck with him and claiming he was, higher than the CIA, and I had no idea who sent him . . . Oh, yes I did!  I am always cautious, trust my intuition, and follow promptings by God, My Intel Man, smarter, better than your 10,000's!  I live in a cloak and dagger world, so I hang with assassins all the time!  LOL!  But, they would be classified as serial killers, since, I am sure they would not send an amateur when dealing with me!  LOL, flattery will get you everywhere!

You Can Be Fooled By a Killer's Game or Trap

• Ted Bundy, used being a cop, had a cast on his arms and would drop his law books, and knock women over the head with a tire iron, if they helped him . . . or he would ask them to come help him launch his boat . . . he had handcuffs, which seem to be the part of all serial killers, game toys, that make you easy prey, not even sporting in my mind, but, they work
• John Wayne Gacy, would lure young men to his construction company, invite then over for drugs or alcohol, and sometimes dress like a clown, because, nobody is afraid of clowns . . . have you seen, Stephen King's, Pennywise! screammmmm, one scary clown.  But, he would use joke or magic show handcuffs that are easy to do tricks with, and then, when he would ask his victims, if they want to try the play or fake handcuffs, he would switch them out for real ones, locking his victim to a bed post, pipe or other torture agent!
• Jeffery Dahmer, would just pick up lonely men, invite the over to his apartment, drink use drugs, and then he would choke them, I believe, even drilling a hole in their heads, because, he wanted their bodies, to stay with him, because he was lonely, but all would eventually leave, so he would kill them, mess around sexually, even have nacrophilia or sex with the dead bodies, then he would keep some part of their bodies, heads in the fridge, eyeballs, hearts, and skulls, hanging around . . . not pretty, so watch the loaners who pick you up in a bar, regardless of sex, go get something to eat, don't go back to their fucking apartments
• Hillside Strangers, Italian Brothers . . . a psychic, a very educated German, reported to the cops that he was having, psychic imaginings of who the killers were, and he was right, but the cops, dismissed him as a cook, until, the two were picked up and he was right!  Mediums, psychics, parapsychologists are used all the time to help solve crimes.  One of my professor's sons, was a parapsychologist, and the cops, use them more than you think, but, they would put this kid, alone in a room, with a bag of the victim's belongings and they would leave, him alone, until he would see, some sort of direction or location where the body might be found . . . some see dead people, some don't!

Arrogance, Cocky Attitudes, Smug Behavior, Show Contempt for Cops . . . They See Themselves as Smarter than Everyone, And so they GAME the System

I got the impression, and often thought this of Brett, that women come easy to them, they are good looking, sexy, a female magnet, and so, having women, pawn and fawn over them, is no challenge, so trolling for unwilling victims, gives them a buzz, satisfy boredem, give them a rush, to take someone against their will, where, most, women, would gladly go with them, but, that doesn't let the play with their power and control issues.  So what a Dahmer or Gacy would do for company, and keeping their victims, a Bundy or a Hillside Strangler, who is much better looking, and able to get most women, they use, abuse, torture, rape, sodomize, and do what, most women would not allow to be done to them if alive, then, these guys, MO for disposing of their victim's bodies, always nude, without showing any respect for them, will just take them, and literally throw them way on a road side, or wherever it is most convenient, without fear of getting caught, just, pulling over long enough, to drag the body out and trash it!  Some killers, will pose a body, stage a scene, but these good looking types, tend to just use them for sex, and then throw them away.  A lot of time, this is just sport to them, taking a women, they two brothers or cousins, could both torture, rape and molest, then discard, just for the entertainment of it, the thrill kill, and with no concern for the victim at all.

Many of these killers, will and can, actually, have a lasting relationship, with a woman, as did the Green River Killer, and one of these, Hillside Stranglers, who met some Asian gal, told his cousin, he was marrying her, because she was a nice kid . . . I think that is why Brett didn't kill me, I was nice, happy, and sexual, the perfect sex and love slave!  I think, Frank, liked me too, as did all of them, making it much harder to kill me, obviously from the fact that I am still here, alive, they all, must have gotten to know me and to know me is to love me . . . actually, I think, I was just so different, from most women, not impressed, that there was some type of challenge that kept them interested in me, and more so, now that I am back doing what I do best, the law!  I have perfect faith, that the second, I lost weight, and even before, with many, I could have any of them back!  LOL!  I think they are all obsessed and read this blog!  I was able to outsmart them and that, would be respected, among serial, contract, or government killers!  Knowledge is POWER, and they are all about power and control, and I don't give it, nor allow them to take it . . . I left all of them, in a fucking New York second, taking them all off their game!  But, often, as was the case with this killer duo, the Hillside boys, one guy, had a steady girlfriend who met his needs, and he refused to kill anymore, and told the cousin, he would kill him, if he didn't get away from him.  So, the younger cocky one, killed two in one night, alone, and that led to both of the men, getting caught!

Anyway . . . interesting stuff, for sure!  I am thinking of going into forensic psychology, criminology, psychic crime solving or something, in my NEXT career!  LOL!  I have done every aspect of the law, time for something new!  Obviously, this shit interests me!  I am not a TV watcher, but I love the true crime shows!  Right down my line, a natural extension of what I have already done!

P.S., I thought it was interesting in this case, that, the prosecutor, didn't think that the cops had enough hard evidence to convict, Buono, the older HIllside Strangler, and the cops, said, and were depressed, but made the comment that the judge, does whatever the prosecutor says, on binding a defendant or suspect over for trial, or releasing them based on the evidence.  But, to the shock of the cops, the judge told the sceptical prosecutor, that, if he would not try this man, the state's attorneys would!  So, he kept the man in custody and both were convicted.  Bouno's appeals were denied, and Bianci, became religious . . . jail is not always a bad thing, Kennedy got locked up for a year for a DUI, and I am sure, it was not his first, especially, in lenient Montana, but he told me, he read the Bible 8 times, because he had nothing else to do.  LOL!  They say, there are no atheists in fox holes and prisons . . . I had the whole Christian Brotherhood, in the Utah State Prison writing to me, but I was too busy to answer, other than my client's mail.

AN ATTACK OF UNIMAGINABLE BRUTALITY! FIZZING WITH JOY--WISHING YOU A PERFECT CHRISTMAS. BRAINS & EGGS--OXFORD BAR & GRILL, ORIGINAL MENU--BACK IN MISSOULA, EATING GARBAGE OMELETS! CRUSH. KIDDIES & CARNIVALS . . . RITZ. AIR HOGS--GO WILD! FILM NATION . . . GO PRO, JUST WHEN I THINK I HAVE TAKEN THIS SITUATION DOWN AS FAR AS IT CAN GO, THINK AGAIN, MOVIE, "HIDDEN AWAY" AND "THE GIRL NEXT DOOR" SEEMINGLY, INNOCUOUS AND INSIGNIFICANT, IN TITLE, STARTS, GETTING INTO THE NAMES, AND ONCE AGAIN, THEY ARE TOTALLY SIGNIFICANT, AND SO IS THE STORY AND PLOT, SO ONCE AGAIN, I AM WORKING TO AID THE COPS OR LAW ENFORCEMENT, IN SOLVING MY CASE, WHICH HAS TONS OF CIVIL RIGHTS VIOLATIONS, BUT, CAN BE CHARACTERIZED, MORE IN TERMS OF THE CRIMINAL ELEMENTS, WHICH ARE MANY, HOPING THAT JUSTICE WILL BE SERVED, AND MY HEART AND MIND, THAT DEMANDS, SUCH, CAN REST FOR A WHILE! . . . THAT WOULD BE NICE, TO SAY THE LEAST! SO, HERE WE GO . . .

British Soldier Chopped at Like He Was a Piece of Meat!

It was not a shooting, or a stabbing . . . It was like a SLAUGHTER!

One For the Money

I am guessing from the ending, in Hidden Away, the author, intended a double entente, in the meaning of the title: (1) in the opening scene, a mother and her young daughter, are taking off from a dock, in their back yard, as a storm rages in the night skies, rain pounding, and slamming to two, who disappear into the night, just as the husband, and stepfather, comes in the driveway from work, flowers in hands, interspersed with flashbacks of the night before, domestic violence, as the husband, rails physically, on his wife, knocking her to the ground, as the young girl, watches . . . as the cycle of violence, hits the honeymoon stage, after the battering, has happened, now the hearts and flowers, come, after a prolonged period of walking on eggshells; and (2) jump forward 10 years, mom and daughter are happy and successful, living in a beautiful area, with mom on the verge of getting engaged to the director of the local southwestern art museum, making the threesome, the perfect family, until, former husband, denied, insurance, because, nobody knew if the wife, and daughter were just gone, or whether they had been drown, in the violent storm, never to be seen again, and assumed dead, generally after 7 years, the man still single, missing his wife and child, is given a locked metal file box, and opening it, after so long, the husband, finds, a list of names, social security numbers, and a book on how to start a new identity! (3) a private investigator is hired to track down the mother/daughter pair, finding out, that she claimed, that, her husband, had in fact, died, collecting on over a million dollars in life insurance! (4) game on . . . husband, wants his old life back, or his family back, preferring the former, allegedly still in love with his wife, old patterns of power and control, start up, as he starts to stalk, his, wife, and her new lover, fiance, by now, with him, not only breaking into her house, but planting surveillance cameras, everywhere, from the kitchen to the master bedroom, watching, even her and her new man, making love, getting more and more angry as he goes, eventually, (5) demanding money, or he is going to kill the wife and her fiance, and take his, now 17 year old daughter, with him, starting a new life with the $250,000 he is now demanding from his wife, or he will go to the cops, with the insurance fraud--a fight ensues, ending with dad and mom, fighting on a gondola, in Palm Springs, that is near the Salish Mine . . . indicative of the Salish-Kootenai Water Compact, that is so hot, with Native American Indians, claiming aboriginal water rights, rather than water rights on the reservation, for the "use and benefit" as per, the Hellgate Treaty of 1855!

Salish Mine . . . Is Kay, Claiming My Work on the Water Compact for Montana, Taking Credit for My Constitutional Analysis, Water Law, And Hellgate Treaty Briefs, I was Asked to do, Back Three Years Ago--Now Making a Shit Load on My Work, Charging for Work That is Already Done, in Huge Ass Attorney's Fees?  Is She the Alleged, New York Attorney Representing, Ranchers and Farmers, on Flathead Lake, Losing Their Water Rights to the Salish-Kootenai Tribes?

Stephanie is the name of the woman, in the movie, and she resembles Kay, in size, shape, and conniving, money grubbing ways!  At first you sympathize with the wife, but after you find out, that she finagled the insurance money, from a policy on her husband, the movie leaves, more questions than, it answers. There is certainly, sympathy for any abused woman; however, the movie, almost made it appear, that Stephanie,might have endured the abuse, in exchange for insurance money, she could not have claimed, under normal circumstances, without a death certificate, or that manipulated and manufactured too?  The wife, may have used the husband, later, not only leaving him, but, getting her hands on, a cool million dollars, through lies, ill gotten gain, deception, fraud and misrepresentation, to the point of using her abuse, as a cover for getting the new identity, that allowed her to pull off, getting the insurance money, without even having a dead husband! There is something that strikes me as so unethical, about, what she did, to further, her own gain, in addition to having several Social Security cards, the list of possible names, unless, she, through work or something had access to these real women's I.D., and she not only, had created a new I.D., once, but, possibly, on more than one occasion, she had been married, to the girl's father, prior to the abuser . . . and when, she has to come up with, $250,000, and claims, she doesn't have the money, in her sad and forlorn look, so much like Kay, her fiance, who has fallen for her charms, and never questions, why she had never told, either he, nor her daughter, about, the truth of, her previous marriage, just telling them, her husband and her child's father, was dead, which she never needed to do, once she was safe . . . 10 years? an engagement? and almost appearing that she was using new, future husband, who is more than willing to pay, and seeing him, as just a new meal ticket, parting with his own money to pay for her freedom!

Believe me, if there is money to be made, from a turnip, this bitch will find a way to make it, either getting money straight up, like from my blog, or through forgery, in my cases, with Shelley's help too, or now, claiming my work, on the water compact, so controversial, with little more to do, than to just copy my briefs, with my in depth, look at the issue, through constitutional, water law, and water rights in Montana!  In many of these legal issues, I deal with, I am one of a kind attorney, having just the right combination, of experience, knowledge and background, with few others, having the conceptional and foundational frameworks, coming together after 20 years of specialized legal work, working with national experts, in water law, having an insiders track, due to researching all phases, not only of water law, but, with a pro level constitutional law background, and having worked for the nations top expert in water law, Ray Jay Davis! whom Kay, also had a  professor at BYU!

Now, here the difference between me and Kay . . . I got a decent grade in torts, leading me to apply for a position as my professor's, writing assistant and small sections, torts, teaching assistant, in addition to being his research assistant on water law, and weather modification!  Kay, on the other hand, barely passed his class in torts, getting a D, in law school grading equivalent, but by numbers, so one hell of a difference between the two of us.  I am sure, people think, Kay and I are a lot alike, but, this one area of law, grades, with the same professor, is an indication of my level of expertise, and knowledge spread, light years apart in law school, and with  me widening the gap, even more, having started working in the law, 10 to 15 years after Kay had been practicing, but with far more impressive credentials, honors, awards, publications, cases, legislation, and now the water law, under my belt . . . in the law, Kay is below average as an attorney, like I said, being fired, by her partner, right in the middle of a trial! with me, staying up all night to write a brief on a motion the judge wanted the attorneys to do, and winning by the motion, by the way, long before I became a trial attorney . . . I was ivory tower at that point!f  My law practice was beyond lucrative, Kay was losing $10,000 per month, as a scum bag, ambulance chaser, and me, in the highest, most noble, area of law, the supreme law of the land, or Constitutional law!  Uh, we are no more alike, other than we grew up together, and we are both attorneys . . . I have ethics, professional responsibility, morals, values, and would never, ever do the things, this hag has done, NEVER!

The Names Will Blow Your Mind, And Are As Mixed Up As My Case, With the Intent, to Mislead, Defraud, Bury, and Confuse Anyone Who Might Want to Help!

• Stephanie to Alexandra, the name of the wife and mother . . . Stephanie HIckey, Rachel's daughter, in this case, the mother takes, on Rachel's daughter's name, changing it to Shelley's daughter's name, Alexandra!  Take all names, all, relationships, throw them in a hat and mix them all up, and that is exactly what, these guys did to cover their trail, making it nearly impossible, to decipher what the fuck is going on . . . that is on purpose!
• Sage, daughter, is changed to Rachel--Kay would be the ghost, Rachel looks like me, she would be the sage, as in this blog, giving advice, like I do . . .
• Brett, is the fiance; however, the old husband, is much more, Brett's jealous, crazy switch, type guy, who is good looking, physically, bigger and stronger than the new fiance . . .
• Palm Springs . . . after the abuser is killed, Alexander, Brett and Rachel, all go to the Caribbean, or wherever, but, I am thinking, that Kay would have, tons of money, like she has stolen, trying to keep it from being discovered, and she may have the money, banked in the Cayman Islands, or somewhere symbolic, as Palm Springs is, due to the fact that Kay lived in Half Moon Bay, California, which is the connection with palm trees, and if Kay is who I think she might be, not only  a lawyer, but. dealing with all this money, RICO, and other patterns of criminal behavior and enterprise, I am sure, she has learned a shit load, and would likely have the money, Hidden Away . . . and she and Brett, would have many secrets, and Kay probably was abused by Brett, her MO, and she would have to leave him, in some devious was like that, or he would fly into a rage!  My sign for, me getting in their way or in the way of all these fucks, spending my money, is when I get cramps . . . suddenly, my leg and rib cramped up big time!  They want me out of the way, so they can be free to spend, when and where they want!  The final shot, shows, gold umbrellas, all along the swimming pool at the resort, the couple takes their honeymoon to, as if indicating, that Kay/Alexandra got away, with the insurance, but also, had not only that money, but other money, hidden away, a play on her hiding away, but also the money she took, now, getting off the hook, using her new lover's money . . . Kay is one for the money!  And like the husband and wife, I would put my bet on Kay, to take it to Brett, especially if he beat her, and she had been beaten by her two previous husbands, so not out of the question, and she would pay him back and get the best of him, having a higher education!  I am just not that devious.
• Salish Mine, is a mine, where the crazy husband, takes, his hostages! to use them as blackmail and power against his wife . . . Kay and Brett are two peas in a pod!
• AZUL, this word is somewhere in the movie, and to me, it has, symbols for words, As You Love, there is also a field of wind turbans that, can be considered, huge fans, or represent my family, who would be fans of mine, if I was not me, so, with Kay, taking credit for my work, they would lover her, as me, loving me, right as I am, and what I am writing about! but, only if my work, is embodied, in Kay's face, because, the family, is not threatened by Kay, and they know, she didn't do it, and it pleases them, to take from me and give to someone, who never did the work, because, they are on the same level as the family, I never was!

Very Interesting, Watson!

The Girl Next Door (2007)

I had seen this movie, produced by another movie or production company, and it was called, An American Crime . . . this story is so horrible, hideous, beyond belief, but, I have never seen a true story, show, the pack mentality, the egging on, the sadistic measures, a mother takes, and teaches her sons . . . psychopaths in the making, with the neighbor kid, David, being the only one, who took pity on this poor, orphan, who's parents were dead, so she and her disabled sister, live with the most wicked, cruel, and abusive women, I have ever seen in real, film or as a villain.  I think this woman, is jealous of the young girl, she starts with comments, that lead to refusing to feed her, to punishing her, for everything . . . she is willing to take the abuse or punishment to protect her sister, who turns her in to this abusive woman, who ends up letting her son's hang her, from ropes to the ceiling, with only books stacked under her feet, that were kicked out, one by one, as she was left hanging, almost pulling her arms out of their sockets.  Eventually, the girl is permanently in the basement, and abusing her, becomes a team family sport, and gets so bad, they all watch as her clothes are cut off, with 4 boys looking on, the boys sneak down in the basement, and try to sexually abuse her, fingers up her, leading to the mother watching and allowing 6 or so kids watch as this girl, is half dead, naked, beaten, burned with cigarettes, then cauterized with, a blow torch, later used to torch her clitoris, as her stomach, is cut, with the words, slut, or fuck, or something like that . . . one of the worst, cases of abuse, I have seen, or heard of.

The young boy, tries to help her escape, but she tries to save her sister, rather than come back for her . . . the kid, who tried to save her, is threatened with his death as well.  At first the young girl, tells police what this mean ass woman is doing to her, they do nothing.  Later, as neighbors hear screams, or kids, who witness the abuse, so traumatized by it, at first, call the cops, but, it seems that this girl, gets objectified, is a punching bag, pushed and sleep deprived, later, raped, burned, cut, beaten, with the whole gang, joining in kicking her, and getting in on the nightly wicked entertainment.  Finally, the young boy, who likes the girl, starts a fire in the basement, and as the sick woman comes down, he beats her with the little sister's crutches, and the cops come.  All the poor, girl, asks is to get her, mother's necklace back, that the women, had earlier, taken from her, telling the girl, her mother was dead, therefore the ring wasn't worth anything to her.

What One Person Would Never Do Alone . . . A Pack Will Do, Savage, Ravenous, Brutal, Mean Spirited, and Cruel!  It Was As If, She Didn't Feel a Thing They Were Doing to Her, Nor to Me?  How Fucked Up Can People Be? Truly Sick, Ill, Deranged, as This Woman Was, And Your ARE! if You Can't Feel the Hurt?  There is Something Drastically Wrong!

While I was never, actually physically, abuse, other than my father, paying the McDonald brothers, both doctors to cut, my clit off, I was subject, to this pack mentality, this gang, joined by cops, clients, friends, high school friends, all willing to lie, to cover Kay's ass, or Shelley's, prosecutors, judges, and on and on, as if I didn't feel, sleeping on the streets, or shivering, escaping some asshole, or I didn't need, clothing, housing, food, or transportation, giving the pack of family wolves, psychopaths, sociopaths, and serial killers, pleasure in my pain, and the more they could inflict the better, not so unlike this poor young girl, who didn't do anything wrong, and if she did, she erred on the side of protecting her sister and took her licks for her . . . but, she was not bad, was obedient, and was just everyone's whipping girl, until she died, at the hands of extreme abuse of all kinds . . . not so unlike my case, with family and others, acting like sharks, in a feeding frenzy, seeing one drop of vulnerability, when they poisoned me, attacking me, and refusing to see, or deal with it, when I came back from Pick's Disease or poisoning and my father, actually being pissed that I reactivated my license, and they whole crew, pack of fuckers were in such a hate campaign, that, nothing was below them, and it was their entertainment.  

Shelley was so abusive, early on, that Jenny, Jesse, Shelley's oldest son's wife, begged me to get out and away from her, and that she was trashing me, 24/7 when people didn't want to hear it . . . going way out of bounds of civility, because she wanted what I had, she wanted to be me, and she had to destroy me to do it. Shelley's friend, Ruthanne actually, begged me to leave, Logan, because she could not stand to see how Shelley treated me, and I was allegedly suppose to be dying.  When her boyfriend, also alarmed, learned that I was in jail for going to the bathroom, and my parents wanted to leave me in forever, with me having no access to my money to pay bail, or anything, so this man bailed me out, and Shelley went ape shit!  Jesse, would call the cops on me, for nothing, and Shelley wanted to put posters of me, up on telephone poles as being a pedophile for going to the bathroom in an elementary school! with permission, etc.  This whole pack of fucks, have tried to kill me, with Jesse even sneaking in, one night when I was suppose to be asleep, but I was hiding in the corner, having a bad feeling, that played out!  This goes on and on!  The two times the cops are informed of some abuse going on, they do nothing, or just can't see it, or buy the abusers story, rather than the victims, until it is too late, and the young girl dies at the hands of this woman and her sons!  I am frankly in shock, that I can write almost, 740 blogs, laying out the crimes, giving dates, times, places, and actions . . . NOTHING.  Hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil.  And as is the case, in this true movie, any guy that would help me, or her, is threatened . . . finally this little boy, takes action, but it is too late, and into his 50's, the pain of this girl is still so real to him.

Frankly, I am Shocked, By the Lack of Reaction to Fucking CRIMES!  Like the Fact that I Challenged Cops, Or Wrote about them, Negates CRIMES, often Perpetuated By Cops, The Ones Who are to Serve and Protect, Like, They Just Don't See Anything Wrong . . . At All!  Just the Girl Next Door?  Seriously, Like They are All In Total Denial, Of Anything I Have Done, Which is More Than All Their Women Put Together!?

WHAT THE FUCK, EVER . . . ?  Unconscionable!