QUOTE OF THE DAY
The best way to cheer yourself up, is to try to cheer somebody else up. --Mark Twain
MAJOR MAJOR MAJOR AS WASHINGTON IRVING
- Major Major looked with a blank expression at the copies of personal correspondence from the hospital on which the censoring officer had written "Washington Irving" or "Irving Washington."
- "No."
- "How about these?"
- Major Major gazed next at copies of official documents addressed to him to which he had been signing the same signatures.
- "No."
- "Is the man who signed these names in your squadron?
- "Which one? There are two names here."
- "Either one. We figure that Washington Irving and Irving Washington are one man and that he's using two names just to throw us off the track. That's done very often, you know."
- "I don't think there's a man with either of those names in my squadron."
- A look of disappointment crossed the second C.I.D. man's face. "Hi's a lot cleverer than we thought," he observed. "He's using a third name and posing as someone else. And I think . . . yes, I think I know what the third name is." With excitement and inspiration, he held another Photostat out for Major Major to study. "How about this?"
- Major Major bent forward slightly and saw a cop of the piece of V mail from which Yossarian had blacked out everything but the name Mary and on with he had written, "I yearn for you tragically. A. T. Tappman, Chaplain, U.S. Army." Major Major shook his head.
- "I've never seen it before."
- "Do you know who A.T. Tappman is?"
- "He's the group chaplain."
- "That locks it up," said the second C.I.D. man. "Washington Irving is the group chaplain."
- Major Major felt a twinge of alarm. "A. T. Tappman is the groups chaplain," he corrected.
- "Are you sure?"
- "Yes."
- "Why should the group chaplain write this on a letter?"
- "Perhaps somebody else wrote it and forged his name."
- "Why would somebody want to forge the group chaplain's name?"
- "To escape detection."
- "You may be right," the second C.I.D. man decided after an instant's hesitation, and smacked his lips crisply. "Maybe we're confronted with a gang, with two men working together who just happen to have opposite names. Yes, I'm sure that's it. One of them here in the squadron, one of them up in the hospital and one of them with the chaplain. That makes three men, doesn't it? Are you absolutely sure you never saw any of these official documents before?"
- "I would have signed them if I had."
- "With whose name?" asked the second C.I.D. man cunningly.
- "Yours or Washington Irving's?"
- "With my own name," Major Major told him. "I don't even know Washington Irving's name."
- The second C.I.D. man broke into a smile."
- "Major, I'm glad you're in the clear. It means we'll be able to work together, and I'm going to need every man I can get. Somewhere in the European theater of operations is a man who's getting his hands on communications addressed to you. Have you any idea who it can be?"
- "No."
- "Well, I have a pretty good idea," said the second C.I.D. man, and leaned forward to whisper confidentially. "That bastard Towser. Why else would he go around shooting his mouth off about me? Now, you keep your eyes open and let me know the minute you hear anyone even talking about Washington Irving. I'll throw a security check on the chaplain and everyone else around here."
- The moment he was gone, the first C.I.D. man jumped into Major Major's office through the window and wanted to know who the second C.I.D. man was," Major Major told him.
- "He was a C.I.D. man, " Major Major told him.
- "Like hell he was, " said the first C.I.D. man. "I'm the C.I.D. man around here."
- . . . "A lot of good that does me," the C.I.D. man sniveled. "I don't want your sympathy. I just want you to know what I'm going through. I came down to warn you that Washington Irving seems to have shifted his base of operations from the hospital to your squadron. You haven't heard anyone around here talking about Washington Irving, have you?"
- "As a matter of fact, I have," Major Major answered. "That man who was just in there. He was talking about Washington Irving."
- "Was he really"" the first C.I.D. man cried with delight. "This might be just what we needed to crack the case wide open! You keep him under surveillance twenty-four hours a day while I rush back to the hospital and write my superiors for further instructions." The C.I.D. man jumped out of Major Major's office through the window and was gone.
- A minute later, the flap separating Major Major's office from the orderly room flew open and the second C.I.D. man was back, puffing frantically in haste. Gasping for breath, he shouted, "I just saw a man in red pajamas come jumping out of your window and go running up the road! Didn't you see him?"
- "He was talking to me," Major Major answered.
- "I thought that looked mighty suspicious, a man jumping out the window in red pajamas." The man paced about the small office in vigorous circles. "At first I thought it was you, hightailing it for Mexico. But now I see it wasn't you. He didn't say anything about Washington Irving, did he?"
- "As a matter of fact, " said Major Major, "he did."
- "He did?" cried the second C.I.D. man. "That's fine! This might be just the break we needed to crack the case wide open. Do you know where we can find him?"
MASTER'S OF ILLUSION
The other night, on the TV show, Master's of Illusion, there was a father, that started his magic show with one daughter, named, DAZZLE. As the show went on, as the one Dazzle would leave, the other would come, one out the back, the other in the side, as one was stuffed in a box or a glass ball, the other would disappear, or they would all be together, eventually, all wearing similar hair styles, and the same colored dresses and shoes. Eventually, you saw, all 5 of the women, the last was, a younger girl, still with the same hair cut and same colored clothes. THERE IS ONLY ONE! Open Space: Your Space. Your Style. They are all living aspects of my life . . . my father, a former, Air Force Special Agent, when, I was born, serving in the Office of Strategic Intelligence, Service, or the OSS, is directing traffic, running interference, and protecting the 5 daughters, while he is sending hits out on this daughter! Trying to do an HONOR KILLING! You have a family full of spies, a church full of spies, and every cop, Mormon, Republican, willing to help, and join, in promoting them, on MY LIFE, RESUME, KIDS, and holding me down, if not killing me! Mystery cases? F.B.I. is baffled? Usual suspects? Are you fooled? EASY! EZ MONEY. EZ VIRTUE. EZ FAME. EZ TOP COPS . . . some have been in love with me, for decades! Five Southwick sisters, all wanting the same attention, a chance, their time in the limelight, but, the sad thing is, that these sisters, who mocked me going to law school, mocked the dream, a father who screamed at me for going, and when, I wanted to go into Constitutional law, said I was a total waste!
Looking back . . . I think, that, my sisters, had been using my undergrad, degree and credentials, long before, I even had a clue. The feds had the power to basically, erase me from the picture all together, like they did my son and his music . . Chris, never did a CD, they just stole the hip hop and rap off his computer and marketed it to famous entertainers, for a profit! Elliot's, they did the backstreet boyz, thing and created a FAKE band, of cop kids! Just took the music, changed the titles and band name, then, marketed it through the world networker marketers, MORMONS, using law enforcement channels, those back channel communications with Russia, fuck, set up, through the music marketing, remember, that, there is a famous Russian, rock star, who was a middle man, between, Trump and Russian elite, who brokered the deals. There were real deals and REAL STEALS! The pretty little liars and dreamers, really do exist, AND MOJO, BIG FOOT ME, DOES TOO!
BIG FOOT IS ALIVE & WELL, ON THE CORNER, OF HEALTHY AND HAPPY! MCDONALD'S HAPPY FEET, THE TWO, LOOK-A-LIKE COPS, ONE BIG, THE OTHER SMALLER, SAW ME . . . LOOKING AND WAITING FOR ME, SO THEY CAN TELL THE TRUTH, OR BE ASPEN SPRINKLERS FOR WASHINGTON IRVING OR IRVING WASHINGTON?
FAITHFULLY EXECUTE THE LAWS! WHEN THE U.S. SUPREME COURT, ALLOWED COPS, PROSECUTORS TO LIE, IT WAS TO FURTHER, AID THEM, IN THE DISCOVERY OF A CRIME, NOT TO USE IT TO CONTINUE TO PERPETRATE A CRIME!
"SLEEPLESS" . . . THERE ARE DIRTY COPS EVERYWHERE! THE MOVIE CLOSES WITH THREE DIRTY DEA COPS! SEQUALS?
"AMERICAN GANGSTER" . . . ONE GOOD COP, WHO, ALONG WITH HIS PARTNER, FOUND ALMOST A MILLION DOLLARS CASH--TURNING IT, WAS ALMOST HIS DEATH SENTENCE, BECAUSE, NOT TAKING THE MONEY, THE OTHER COPS, DIDN'T TRUST HIM ANY MORE? RUSSEL CROW, GAINED A REPUTATION, AS A CLEAN COP, WAS ASKED TO TAKE OVER THE NEW, NARCOTICS TASK FORCE, AND CAUGHT, ALONG WITH THE HELP OF DENSEL WASHINGTON, 150 DIRTY COPS AND GANGSTERS!
"SLEEPY HOLLOW" . . . THANK GOD, I DIDN'T DISAPPEAR FOR 240 YEARS, FUCKING 20 HAS REAPED HAVOC, UNDENDING FOR ME, AND MY KIDS!
THE END OF CATDADDY GAMES IN SEATTLE!
THERE IS REALLY ONLY ONE!
ME! HONEST COPS LOVE ME . . . DIRTY ONES HATE ME!
TWO TICKETS TO PARADISE!
SHE'S A SUPERFREAK!
NATURAL CHOICE NETWORK! I AM NOT!
BRAWN VS. BRAIN!
CAREERS THAT FIT, BODIES THAT FIT!
STOP PUTTING HITS ON ME, GIVE ME A FUCKING CHANCE! STILL CUTE. OTTERS ARE NOT CUTE!
LOL.
SMILE.
NATURAL CHOICE NETWORK! I AM NOT!
BRAWN VS. BRAIN!
CAREERS THAT FIT, BODIES THAT FIT!
STOP PUTTING HITS ON ME, GIVE ME A FUCKING CHANCE! STILL CUTE. OTTERS ARE NOT CUTE!
LOL.
SMILE.
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