LOVE = PLEASURE + PAIN. NOTHING IS MORE SAD, THAN THE DEATH OF AN ILLUSION. GREAT RIDE. DIG IN. A GOOD HUSBAND MAKES A GOOD WIFE. POWER LOVE. LUCK OF THE BONUS. KEEP IT REAL. OTHER PILLOWS GO FLAT. MISS KITTY. THE BEIGE PADDED BRA. WEAVING THE BRAIN & THE BLOG. BILLIONS. THE MUZZLE & PLEADING THE 5TH. FIFTIES GENERATIONS MEN VS. MEN BORN IN THE 70'S & 80'S. IMAGE VS. SUBSTANCE. SEX KITTEN VS. FULL PARTNER. TROPHY WIFE VS. UTILITY WIFE. ONE SERVICE WIVES VS. MULTI-SERVICE WIVES. LOVING PART OF A WOMAN VS. LOVING ALL OF A WOMAN. MEN & WOMEN WITHOUT ROLES. CHILDREN & GRANDCHILDREN WITHOUT BLOODLINES. ALL WOMEN PROTECTED AS MOTHERS, SISTER'S, WIVES, DAUGHTERS. CHURCHES WITHOUT WALLS. COUNTRIES WITHOUT BORDERS. NATIONS WITHOUT FLAGS. MAKE PEACE HAPPEN. WE CAN DO THIS WORLD. LOVE IS WORTH CELEBRATING! LET'S DO THIS. ROLES CHANGE. LIQUID ASSETS. THE MORE YOU GIVE, THE MORE YOU GET! IT IS MORE BLESSED TO GIVE THAN RECIEVE . . . LOVE WITHOUT STRINGS! SMILE. MY WONDERFUL DREAM . . . I WAS AT SOME FAMILY OR NEIGHBORHOOD GATHERING, MUCH, LIKE I USED TO HAVE WHEN I USED TO BE A DAUGHTER, MOTHER, SISTER, SISTER-IN-LAW, ,RATHER THAN A BANK WITHOUT WALLS, MULTIPLE SOURCES OF INCOME, OR A POCKET BOOK . . . AFTER THE PARTY OR DINNER, I WAS RIDING ON A FLOAT, OR A CAMPAIGN TRUCK, FLATBED, OR LIKE OPEN TROLLEY CAR, THERE WERE TONS OF PEOPLE ALONG THE PARADE ROUTE, BUT I WAS ON THE FLATBED WITH MY CHILDREN AND THEIR KIDS--NEVER GOT THE IMPRESSION, THAT I WAS THE CANDIDATE, BUT THERE WERE KIDS, ON THE SIDES OF THE ROAD PASSING OUT, CAMPAIGN BUTTONS, AND THERE WAS THIS ONE YOUNG BOY, WHO, I BELIEVE HAD BEEN AT THE FAMILY OR NEIGHBORHOOD GATHERINGS, WHO, SAW ME ON THE FLOAT, AND HE RAN ALONG SIDE OF THE SLOW MOVING VEHICLE, UNTIL HE CAUGHT UP WITH ME, HANDED ME A CAMPAIGN PIN OR BUTTON, AND HE KISSED ME AND SAID, "I LOVE YOU, GRANDMA" AND THEN HE QUICKLY PUT HIS HAND OVER HIS FACE, GIVING A CUTE, EMBARRASSED SMILE . . . MY REAL GRAND KIDS WERE ON THE FLOAT WITH ME, AND IT WAS AT THAT MOMENT, THAT, THE DREAM SEEMED TO INDICATE TO ME, THAT MY KIDS WERE WITH ME, THAT THEY SAW MY MISSION, THAT THEY UNDERSTOOD THAT, I HAD NOT ABANDONED THEM, BUT, THAT I HAD BEEN DRIVE FROM THE STATE, FROM MY HOME, FROM MY FAMILY, FROM MY FRIENDS, AND KEPT AT BAY FROM THEM; HOWEVER, IT WAS IN THIS SEPARATION, THAT, OTHER CHILDREN, OTHER GRANDCHILDREN HAD BEEN BLESSED, BY, OUR JOINT SACRIFICES, OUR SEPARATION, THE DISTANCE, THE FORCED DIVISION OF OUR FAMILY, BUT THERE WERE TIMELESS MOMENTS OF LOVE, THAT COULD NOT BE TAKEN, COULD NOT BE ERASED, AND A BOND, BETWEEN MOTHER AND CHILDREN, THAT, WILL NEVER DIE! NOT MATTER WHAT, OTHER SAY, TRY TO MAKE IT LOOK, LIKE, OR OCHESTRATE TO ACCOMPLISH . . . MY KIDS AND GRANDKIDS HAVE HAD TO BASICALLY SHARE ME, MY SKILLS, MY TALENT, GOD GIVEN, BLESSING OF HAVING SOLID, GROUNDED, SMART, BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN, WHO SOME SEE, AS BEING, JUST BORN THAT WAY . . . GREAT MOTHERS MAKE GREAT KIDS! I REMEMBER SEEING A QUOTE, I BELIEVE AT A MONTANA SHOP, THAT SAID, BEHIND EVERY GREAT KID, THERE IS A GOOD MOTHER! I AM HONORED, THAT, THEY HAVE, HONORED THEIR FATHER AND MOTHER, BY BEING AMAZING PEOPLE, IN AND OF THEIR OWN RIGHT, WITH MANY WANTING BRAGGING RIGHT TO THEM AS, THEIR CHILDREN, THUS, THE CONVERSE IS TRUE TOO, THAT, I HAVE HAD TO SHARE THEM, THEIR GIFTS, THEIR TALENT, GOD GIVEN, AND BLESSED, WITH OTHERS ALSO . . . THIS MORNING AFTER AWAKING FROM THE FUN AND INSIGHTFUL DREAM, I THOUGHT, THAT, I AM NOT THE FIRST MOTHER, WHO HAS HAD TO SHARE, PRECIOUS CHILDREN, IN A SACRIFICIAL OFFERING, TO THE GODS, MOSES, DAVID, CHRIST, AND OTHERS THROUGHTOUT TIME, AND I AM HONORED BY THE SWEETNESS, BEAUTY, AND LOVE OF MY CHILDREN, NO MATTER, HOW MANY CHALLENGES, ALTERNATIVE VOICES, TELLING THEM, OF THIS OR THAT TO ALIENATE THEIR AFFECTION, FOR ME, THROUGH, IT ALL EVENTUALLY, THEY ARE INTELLIGENT, MY PRIZE ATTRIBUTE, I WANTED IN THEM, THEY GET IT, IT IS UNDERSTOOD, WHERE MUCH IS GIVEN, MUCH IS EXPECTED! I THOUGHT OF SOME PRECIOUS BLESSINGS OF BEING, JOKINGLY THE UNIVERSAL MOTHER, TO SOME OF MY NEPHEWS, OR MY SONS' FRIENDS, OR TO BOYFRIEND'S CHILDREN, AND THEIR FRIENDS, OR THE LAST TIME IF WAS IN UTAH, AT MY VERY PRECIOUS DAUGHTER, GRETA'S HOUSE, WHO SHARES HER CHILDREN AND SILENTLY, NOT ONLY LETS ME MANHANDLE HER SONS, KIND OF MEAN, LIKE I DID WITH MY OWN, CHILDREN, KNOWING THE TOUGH LOVE WILL DO THEM WELL, LATER ON, LOL, BUT, ALLOWING ME TO BE THE KIND OF GRANDMOTHER, I AM, VERY, NON-TRADITIONAL, WILD, UNTAMED, UNASHAMED, AND UNABASHED, TELLING THEM, THEIR GRANDMA TURNS INTO A WEREWOLF, IF THEY DON'T GET IN BED BEFORE THE SUN GOES DOWN, OR I AM GOING TO TAKE THEIR WHITE TRASH KITTY, THEY DON'T KEEP OFF THE TABLE WHERE I EAT, AND NEXT TIME I MAKE THEM PANCAKES FOR BREAKFAST, I AM GOING TO WIPE THEIR BELOVED, KITTY'S ASS ON THEIR PANCAKE, AS THEY ALL BUST UP, LAUGHING AND FALLING OVER THE COUCH, BEHIND THEM, ALL IN FUN . . . I LOVE THAT ONE OF THEIR FRIENDS, THERE THAT DAY, WOKE UP, AND WALKED IN, AND SAID, "HI, GRANDMA." A THRILL IN DEED, BOYS, NEED TO BE ROUGHED AROUND A BIT! I MOST LIKELY WOULD NOT TALK TO MY GRAND-DAUGHTERS THAT WAY! LOL! THERE IS A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN BOYS AND GIRLS! MOMENTS OF TIMELESS DELIGHT! I TAUGHT IN A HIGH SCHOOL, BUT I WAS PAID BY A UNIVERSITY, AS THEIR EMPLOYEE, BUT, I HAD HARD CORE KIDS, WHO, WERE BASICALLY RAISING THEMSELVES, OR LIVING WITH SISTERS, OR WITHOUT EITHER PARENT, AND, THESE VERY SMALL CLASSES, OF TROUBLED TEENS, BY THE END OF THE YEAR, CALLED ME MOM, ACCIDENTALLY ALL THE TIME, AND WHEN THEY WALKED THROUGH GRADUATION, MANY, HAD THE GREATEST ODDS AGAINST THEM, I CRIED MY EYES OUT, NOT A CRIER, AND NEVER DID THAT AT MY OWN KIDS, GRADUATIONS, WITH TWO GRADUATING EARLY, BECAUSE, THEY HAD NO REASON NOT TO GRADUATE, WHILE NOT HAVING A PERFECT, LIFE, BUT, BASICALLY, A SOLID FOUNDATION, DIVORCE, ADDED A KINK, BUT, OF THE MOST PART, THAT WAS EXPECTED, COLLEGE, RIGHT THERE TOO, IF THEY WANT, BUT, FOR THESE KIDS, WITH A MILLION REASONS, TO QUIT, AND FEW TO CONTINUE, I WAS A BASKET CASE AND I SAW THEM WALK ACROSS THE STAGE AND GET THEIR DIPLOMA, A TICKET TO A BETTER LIFE! MY KIDS HAVE LONG, HAD TO SHARE THEIR MOTHER, I GUESS THIS IS PAYBACK, AND I DESERVE IT . . . SOME MAY TAKE MY BRAGGING RIGHTS, BUT, THE DNA TELLS THE TRUTH! THE OTHER DAY, WAKING UP TO COPS AND MORE COPS, ONCE BACK IN MISSOULA, WONDERING, WHAT THE FUCK NOW . . . LATER IN THE DAY, I SAW, FOUR WILD GEESE OR DUCKS, FLYING ABOVE MCDONALD'S OVER THE CLARK FORK RIVER, AND GOING TO THE DUCK POND, LETTING MY KIDS FEED THE DUCKS AND GEESE, OUR OLD STALE BREAD, WAS A FAVORITE PASS TIME, FUN, FUNNY, AND ENTERTAINING TO WATCH, AS GEESE BIGGER THAN MY DAUGHTER, CHASED HER, AS SHE HELD A PIECE OF BREAD IN HER HANDS, OVER HER HEAD, RUNNING AWAY FROM THEM, SO, VERY SYMBOLIC OF DAYS GONE BY, BUT, THIS FORMATION OF FOUR, FLEW PASSED ME TWICE ON THE WAY HOME, LIKE SAYING, ALL DOESN'T APPEAR, AS IT SEEMS, WE GOT YOU COMING AND GOING MOM! I KNOW MY KIDS. I ALSO, KNOW, THE MINDS AND MOTIVES OF THOSE WHO SEEK TO STEAL AND DESTROY, THAT RELATIONSHIP . . . I JUST SAW A "CRIMINAL MINDS" EPISODE, WITH A SERIAL KILLER, MARRIED, GAY COUPLE, WITH THE OLDER RICHER, SIDE OF THE RELATIONSHIP, BEING LEFT, FOR IS CONTROLLING, MANIPULATIVE, NATURE, NOT GIVING THE YOUNGER MAN BREATHING ROOM, WHO WHEN LEFT, STARTED, FOLLOWING HIS PARTNER, AND KILLING, BRUTALLY, ANY MAN WHO TALKED TO HIM, NOT ONLY KILLING THEM, IN A HORRIFIC MANNER, BUT, STRIPPING THEM OF ALL IDENTITY, DECAPITATION AND DISMEMBERMENT, DRUGGING THEM, CUTTING OFF LIMBS, WHILE THEY WATCHED, AND LAST THE HEAD, LEAVING THE TORSO AS A TROPHY, AND SIGN OF THE RAGE AND ANGER, OF THIS BREAK-UP AND ABANDONMENT . . . BUT THERE WAS ONE LINE, IN THE FBI'S PROFILE AND INSIGHT INTO THE MAN, WHO LOOKED ALMOST EXACTLY LIKE MY 3RD HUSBAND AND THE ROOT OF MUCH OF WHAT IS GOING ON WITH ME . . . I AM GOING TO MAKE YOU HURT, THAT WAY, YOU MADE ME HURT! I GUESS WHEN, I LEFT HIM, I TOOK MYSELF, MY FAMILY, MY CAREER, AND ALL I AM FROM HIM, SO HE BROUGHT IN A SUBSTITUTE AND THEN, TURNED AROUND AND TRIED TO HURT ME IN RETURN, TAKING MY NAME, MY FAMILY, MY KIDS, MY LIFE, MY CAREER, RESUME, CASES, BLOG AND EVERYTHING, HE FELT I HAD DENIED HIM, BY LEAVING, AND MAKING ME SUFFER THE LOSE, MAKING IT HURT, LIKE IT HURT HIM! BUT, A MOTHER KNOWS HER KIDS! UNDERSTOOD. LIKE THE MOVIE, "THE TRAIN" I TALKED ABOUT YESTERDAY, IF ONE DOOR CLOSES, ANOTHER ONE OPENS, AND ONE CHOICE, YOUR OWN, OR SOMEONE ELSE'S, CHANGES EVERYTHING! MARITAL BLISS. MARITAL DIS. ROLE CHANGES. NO MATTER WHO I AM WITH, THERE IS A RAGING JEALOUSY, AND THIS GAME TO REPLACE ME, BY, BRINGING IN THE SUBSTITUTE . . . BUT WOMEN, AND MEN, I AM GOING TO SHARE SOME SECRETS OF LOVE WITH YOU, AND THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN WEAK AND POWER LOVE!

COPS CONFIDENTIAL.  ANIMAL NATION.  OTHER PILLOWS GO FLAT.  LOL!

• there are many reasons to marry someone, but love, tends to be based on CHEMISTRY, now, we see this on the movie screens, between, actors and actresses, some have chemistry, and some don't and many who do, end up, leaving, spouses, and marrying, their co-star, we saw this in Mr. and Mrs. Smith, where Brad Pitt, married to the very hot, cute, all American girl, Jennifer Aniston, lost her man, to the sulky, mysterious, Angelina Jolie, and people have watched through the years, as, the couples, have gone here and there, and sometimes, there has been speculation that, Brad and Jen were getting back together, or is Angeline, jealous of Jen, or is Brad, now that Jen is with Travis, or whatever his name is . . . marital bliss, marital did!
• start, looking at a full power, marriage with kids, bills, careers, other leading ladies and men, pressures, press, etc., and something like, drinking or very different parenting styles, can, kill even the chemistry between two people!
• I have joked, but there is some truth to it, that, if you want romance, have an affair, if you want, great kids, and a solid lifestyle, look at marriage more as a business--who can I be, the most successful with, pull this lifespan off best with, and that differs from, just who, I want to go to bed with, or who has the best sex!
• life is complicated, and we all remember the lines from, Romeo and Juliet, where the Friar, who is suppose to marry the two, passionately in love youngsters, makes the comment, that, love is long, patient, timeless, and you don't have to rush it, young love or lust, can't wait, is fiery, but it turns to embers . . . I guess if you die, like they did, the passion never had a chance to die . . . simulcast . . . an ad, was on TV, that said, tired?  worn out?  loss of interest? a mattress ad, so symbolic of bed, the marital bed, sex, whatever, but, if we marry for the wrong reasons, this is the expected result!
• there is a professor at the University of Utah, where I used to teach family law, and I believe she teaches in the psychology, or sociology, department, but years ago, she wrote a book, after doing a lot of studies on, attraction, love, couples, dating, etc., and she found, that what it all boiled down to was, chemistry or your spit!  Through, one means or another, even the CIA has figured this one out, as did the working ladies of the world's oldest profession, having sex, fucking, making love, is much, less, bonding, that, kissing is!  IN the CIA training manual, they even tell their agents, that, they cannot kiss, someone, but they can fuck anyone!  Kissing is more intimate than, having sex . . . which makes sense, a cock and pussy, are missing, many of the 5 senses, or the power to experience, taste, smell, touch, sight, and sound, therefore, it is less a tune, to the subtleties of making love or, bonding, it is the after, thought, or skipping stages, and at times, not as fulfilling without the other, connected to it, so if an agent is a "honey trap" male or female, to stay on top of the game, luring someone in, but, staying emotionally disengaged yourself, kissing is not, part of the game!
• this is one of my tests, to see if this is an agent of some type or not . . . my fourth husband, whom I married, to protect property, his and mine, and fully, informed him, sex was not part of the deal!  But, after, getting to know each other, I started to like him, and the night of our wedding, I felt lonely, and got cleaned up and went up to see, my "so-called" husband, never having touched him, or my client, who he was, the double for, but, I came in, hugged him and we started to make out, he was shocked, he could, and he would say, what, but, I could only imagine, so it was kind of high school stuff, but, engaging, from that point on, he refused to kiss me, but wanted sex, and I refused to have sex without kissing, so we got in the this huge ass power struggle, making me, figure he was, something, and that is when he said, he was Frank of Interpol and his actions made sense!  Was I attracted to him?  Initially, until he started to try to destroy me, after I tried to get an annulment from him, but, early on, we had fun, he is witting and so am I, and before I figured out, consciously, what was going on, I tried to hug him and kiss him, and he would even say, You can bend, but you can't break, you can bend, but you can't break . . . now I already had experience with these federal cops, so, that was, giving me more and more ammo against him, building my case, that this was, not, in fact, my client who I thought, I married, and a fed, with my client, missing!
• I have two situations when, men I was not real attracted to, for this reason or that reason, with one kiss, it was love!  Going from, zero to hero, in a simple kiss, current love interest, included . . . he is younger, thinner than, I like my men, taller, but, there are tons of reasons, I listed yesterday, as to why I love him . . . but, had it not been for, him making out with me, at the Spokane, train and bus station, this last four years, would never have happened.
• Moments of timeless delight, so real, so spontaneous, so hot, all starting with a kiss!
• and with YEARS in between!  LOL!  The power of a kiss!  A testimony of chemistry!
• knowledge is power, and he or she who cares, less, controls!  Even recently, in Seattle, I am not worried, and the more, I saw spit on the sidewalk, and it seemed, timed, or God intel, I would just laugh, and that, knowledge of the chemistry between me and him, from the first, gives me the power, because he doesn't know this!  LOL!  So, someone like me, older, overweight, but a powerful chick, for sure, especially, in the cop world, I have no fear, that, those men, who have kissed me, are mine!  Not only am I a hot kisser, but, power begets power, cops are into, and attorneys are too, so, there must be something to what makes up chemistry?  Like is attracted to like! So the more, we mixed it up, sexually, the less in needed to be around him, to own him!  LOL!  This cool, calm, handsome, 40-ish, Muslim, who prays, several times a day, and studies the Koran, and meditates each morning, is, a hot headed, pissy, lover, when it comes to me . . . POWER!  LOL.  Mine over him!  Will he come back?  Probably.  I love that song, X'S and O'S, all my lovers, know, I'm the best baby they ever did see, none of them want to leave me!  Hottest body, fuck no, hottest mind, maybe, and they are all smart guys, so a draw, but not enough . . . it is in the spit, we are chemically bound and bonded, you can run, you can hide, you can kiss and fuck other women, and as long as my spit, matches your spit best, YOU ARE MINE!
• My second husband, pissed and angry, used to say, you don't just keep your men for life, but you, corral and brand them!  LOL!  Yeah, I know.  POWER LOVE!  LOVE OF POWER!  Especially over MEN, COPS IN PARTICULAR, enemies on the one hand, complete PREY ON THE OTHER!  LOL!
• ROLES CHANGE . . . THE CHASED BECOMES THE CHASER, THE TARGET, BECOMES THE TARGETED, THE GAMER, THE GAME MASTER!  LOL!
• the most fun thing about cops, is they never forgive, never vote Democrat, and they don't drive mini-vans, not a POWER WAGON!  LOL!  POWER LOVE WORKS ON POWER HUNGRY MEN . . . okay, these top cops, honey trap, types, able to control, bring women to their knees, then, fuck'em and leave'em, don't have the same power over me, because, I know there game, and I play it better than they do.
• here is the skinny on cops, and their cop cunts, chicks, bitches, they use to try to minimize me, and elevate inferior women over me, they are so, image orients, they have a physical job, so, it stands to reason that, physical looks, body image, obviously big boobs, like guns, badges and cop cars, are part of the image, so the hottest woman rules . . . but, a top cop's or a man's worst nightmare, is to outsmart himself!  LOL!  So, due to a man's natural desires, driven by nature, attracted to the woman, whom, they think is the WOW target the envy of all their peers, is really, the shattering of illusions, and the most painful! 
• the typical pattern: (1) all cops, know of me, but they don't know, for sure who I am: (2) some have had the hot's for me, for 20 years, since I kicked, them nationwide on asset forfeiture, in this love hate, relationship, when at the time, legal Barbie, trounced the power brokers, with her own, special power, called the United States Constitution, that just POWER BROKE THE DONALD!  LOL!  That 1999, meeting at the state capitol in Utah, with 2,000 cops, had to have made it to the feds, who, were both, repulsed by me killing their legislation, with 27 of the 50 states, seeing, that cop incentives, on drug charges, giving them license to steal was not a good thing! but on the other hand, a nation of cops, saw a very hot, mean, female attorney, who, fucked them, big time!  Power LOVE!  Me and them, so, top cops, have long had a hard on for me. (3) after I kicked cops a few more times, they decided, it best, national interest, no cop interest, to poison me, leading to me putting on 100 pounds, death of a true reality, legal Barbie! (4) I didn't fit the image of the woman they wanted, kicking their asses anymore, but didn't have a choice on the legend living on . . . especially, for, my cases, my legislation, my hobby lobby, and my blog . . . they tried to have me the work horse and, bring in the showgirls or show horse, Jerry, Brett and Frank, aka, Allan, all my husband, and all rejected, so, the weight became the scapegoat and reason, when, that can't be true, because I was only 140 lbs., after our kids and looking great, when they started to do their special operation against me, so, the girlz club, meets the boyz club, in investigating my background, there were 5 other sisters and an other attorney, friend, ideas, replace JoAnn, with the now, thinner hotter, sisters, all in the eye of the beholder, but, that was the plan, the egos, the game! (5) however, A good husband, makes a good wife . . . if she, who, many were attracted to, settled down, go married, like a good girl, taking the potential for the former, beauty queen to come back and cause trouble in the ranks of POWER HUNGRY MEN, then, so be it . . . but, as I dumped one by one, that old, ego came raging back, and (6) this chick, the famous one, didn't dump me, I dumped her, but for her, keeping the POWER SIDE OF LOVE!  ME!  These men, decided how to have their cake and eat it too, or so they thought, just substitute, one broad for the other broad, right?  WRONG, chemistry, just doesn't work that way!  LOL!  (7) Self betrayal, for looks, or a thinner woman, or someone they could control, or someone who was enamored with, the man's power, willing to pretend to be me, but, that may change dynamics but, not change the chemistry and attraction, regardless of weight!  (8) the anger, that should be directed at these men, themselves, for being enticed, lured, distracted, maybe by the women themselves, or the boobs, or my father setting them up, or, even their colleagues talking them into it, convincing them, they can have it all, be married to the NAME BRAND, and get the HOT WOMAN!  OK!  Great idea, until the pillow goes FLAT!  Women are not all created equal, cheating doesn't make one woman, the other woman!  NEWSFLASH, women, just like men, are all created equal, but they don't all grow equally, learn equally, take advantage of opportunity equally, or are they educated equally, so, this homeless woman, in all her inglorious, homelessness, still possesses the POWER!  the others may claim it and even take the money for it, but, the POWER STRUCTURE HAS NOT BEEN STOLEN, THE ATTITUDE, THE CHALLENGE, THE CHEMISTRY OF WHAT MAKES THE ATTRACTION HAS NOT CHANGED, only the women have . . .

FULL COURT PRANK

You hurt me, so I am going to hurt you, as much as you hurt me . . . she who cares least controls!  LOL!  So there are 10 or so men, whom have come in contact with me, and I would venture a guess that, regardless of my current shape, have been attracted to me for years, some, maybe, their whole police career, he legend, as in lover boy's case . . . they have a chance to be with the real woman, but, that old Achilles Heel, kicks in, and it is the head below the belt, that rules the head above the belt, and it is Heels over Head in Love!  But it is not POWER LOVE!

TOP FUNNIEST AND THE BEIGE BRA

• the interesting thing about, the whole blocked train, with me going to Montana, while, the double goes to Washington, is number one, top blogs, top money, top pins, happened in Washington state, writing about the Women's March, Washington AG, suing Trump on the Travel Ban, the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals, Denial of Trump's Ban on Muslims . . . all about the MONEY!
• TRADING PLACES, ROLES CHANGE . . . NOW, THE SMART THING ABOUT THE 5TH, IS, THE INVOKER, HAS THE OPTION OF GOING THIS WAY OR THAT, OR TRYING TO HAVE IT ALL, MONEY, HOT SEX, CLAIM TO THE NAME BRAND, ME, WHILE NOT BEING WITH ME . . . A SORT OF REJECTION, LEAVING SEATTLE GOING TO MONTANA WHERE THERE ARE TWO OTHER DUDES, I HAVE LIKED, AND IN THIS GAME OF CHEMISTRY, SOME ME, DON'T NEED A KISS, TO KNOW, GAME ON!  ALL WE NEED TO DO IS HOOK UP!  POWER LOVERS!
• it is called, triangulating . . . now, both, lover and myself, hit, this point, when, both, if honest, are into each other, but, there is this ACT OF GOD, the avalanche and the mudslide if they are even true, at all, but used to keep me and lover apart, which is both good and bad, but, through silence or the 5th, he doesn't incriminate or say he is not guilty, or he decided to take the party line and go the way of all the other rejected cops, siding with the physical, and dumping me, which is okay.  Like the train, if I make it, I marry this guy, or am with this dude, or if I don't make it, to Seattle, there is a likelihood that, things will change, these guys, nor myself, are the type to just hang around long!  LOL!  To me, the healing time for a lover is moments, hours, if lucky, days, and if there is chemistry, and we have experienced that, I don't need to worry, he will be back if at all possible!  LOL!
• you see, my victims, are tenderized, char-broiled, flipped, and there is a total role change, they are more like the pining, desperate woman, traditionally, the emotional, the one willing to take back, and the power structure has changed, and they are in the less powerful position!
• men have affairs to avoid intimacy, women have them to get it!
• so, lover, a few weeks ago, tells me, knowing the doubles game, that some woman, is hanging around his apartment, looks, like me, but taller, and has big boobs.  Now, like Kennedy, most men, will be enticed by the hotter body, natural, nature driven, and looks better with their cop buddies, so, ego will prevail over happiness!  The GOLDEN GIRLs, ad, just on, they have the money, and that alone, seems like power and it is, so they do have power, but, some men are gong to be angry, if they have ethics, morals and learn that, these women, are not the POWER WRITER, NOR THE POWER MOTHER, NOR THE POWER ATTORNEY, and these are all fakes, the dicks go limp fast!  But, most will at least, take the bait, and think they are pulling a fast one over on me and they feel I deserve it, because, I didn't throw myself at them, or have sex with them, or turn into the winey, bitchy women, begging for their time . . . I have a fucking life!  Most of the time, men are in my way, a bother, and I want them, when I want them, and don't want to deal with them, when, I don't want them, and that is a much more male role!  Traditionally.
• but, their mindset and argument turns on its head, when it comes to me . . . I don't cheat!  PERIOD.  The last man to have sex with me four years ago, is the man, I just left!  I could have had sex, was not necessarily being, faithful, I just had other things going on, or I didn't think it was the right timing, or I wanted to know the guy better, to know his motives, so, I am not some woman who, needs a man, politics and law, are very satisfying for me, more so, that, most men, so, it is not another man they have to fear, it is me, myself, and I!
• so in this new role, feeling vulnerable, pissed, and angry, at the position of hurt, they find themselves in, they lash out, they cheat, they take the bait, that, decide, I am not worth it, or whatever the justification is, or they try to have it both ways, keep my name brand, on her ass, which they see as nicer, more firm, better sex, or whatever.

THE BEIGE BRA TANGLED IN MY BED SHEETS!

God just has a way of letting me know, exactly what the fuck is going on!  So, at the Poverello, being a late comer, I am relegated to the overflow or waiting for a bed, room, and so, for the first time, in three nights, I got to be on an actual, bed, bunk bed, but when I went to bed, there were three of us, one chick on the floor, and me and this other 62 year old, on the bottom bunks, me on the right, she on the left.  But, when I came back from putting on make-up, my two roommie were gone, but, there was this new chick, on the top bunk over my bed, and as I started to reach for my sheets, they were tangled with a beige bra!  The first thought that came to my mind, was, Rachel, always wears that color, I wear black, but the bra was more my size, Rachel's being the Texas ten gallon, hat, version!  LOL.  But I thought, how strange that this chick, would just drop her bra in my stuff, with some sweaters and jackets, hanging on the end of the bed, still indicating this person has not left yet.

But the symbolism, is amazing, when you look at it, weaving the bra and the brains, this was up by where my head was, and seemed tangled in the blanket, pink, symbolic of the fraud broads, because, of Mary Kay, pink, Rachel, Love Pink brand, and Shelley or the rest of the crew, girlz club, and I hate the COLOR PINK, my color is a POWER COLOR, RED, OF COURSE!  LOL!  The fact that it is in bed, is significate also, indicating, sleep, bed, or sex . . . my body, that graced my lover's bed, but not for weeks, hasn't cooled yet, before, the beige bra, double, sister, Rachel, and her bra, are in it!  The big EXCHANGE, the roll change, the girl change, the consistent, is the guy, whom, I just playing the role, all cops, who, both hate and love me, now feeling rejected by me, play, they bring on the double, the pain, and go for the Money is for nothing and the chicks for free . . . fuck Secrist role, dig in, get a pin, and have fun, mode!  Happy for a while, get the pin money from HOT BLOGS, get bragging rights in cop shops, nobody has seen me, the real me, yet, so, bring the $50,000 nip and tuck improved cop version and everyone is happy right?  FOR A WHILE!

OTHER PILLOWS GO FLAT!  BEDROOM BLISS.  BEDROOM DIS!  SMART DUDES, LIKE SMART DUDETTES . . . SHE IS NOT ME!

BY THE TIME THE REALITY OF THE SHALLOWNESS OF THE RELATIONSHIP SETS IN, OFTEN, I AM ON DOWN THE ROAD, AND DON'T WANT THE GUY, GIVEN THE FACT THAT, HE, WAS SOMEHOW ABLE TO SUBSTITUTE ME, FOR HER, BUT HIS REALITY, LANDS, LATTER WHEN HE IS BORED!  THEN, HE LASHES OUT IN ANGER AGAINST ME, JOINING THE JEALOUS, ANGRY, CADRE OF CADS, WHO HAD THE SMARTER FEMALE, GET THEM AGAIN!  LOL!  NO BODY'S FAULT BUT THEIR OWN, AND LOVE IS DEEPER THAN SEX!  CHEMISTRY, SEALS THE DEAL!

TOP FUNNIEST . . . YOU DID THIS TO YOURSELF, I DIDN'T CHEAT, I MAY HAVE LEFT FOR AWHILE, BUT, I WAS COMING BACK.  CALL IT QUANTUM PHYSICS, I FEEL CHEATING!

THEN THE FULL COURT, BLOG, PRESS--IT WAS HER ALL THE WAY ALONG!

I DID, SEE, HOWEVER, I SIGN, THAT, LOVER, MY NOT HAVE A CHOICE, RIGHT NOW . . . PICTURE OF A MAN, MUZZLED, AND WITH ANOTHER WOMAN; WOMAN IN RESTROOM WEARING A SYMBOLIC COLOR, INDICATING, "UNDERSTOOD" ON THE SECRET RENDEZVOUS!

YOU HAVE TO BE A TOTAL PLAYER, TO PLAY THIS GAME . . . THAT INCLUDES, UNDERSTANDING THE GAME AND PLAYING IT . . . WHAT WILL BE, WILL BE, AND SOMETHINGS ARE NECCESSARY, TO PULL OFF THE WIN!  CHILL, LOVE WILL WIN!

IT'S ALL IN THE SPIT, RELAX!

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!

KNOWLEDGE IS POWER!

LOVE IS NOT A FLEETING THING, AND LOVE IS WORTH CELEBRATING, IN AND OF ITSELF!

BETTER TO HAVE LOVED AND FAILED, THAN, NEVER TO HAVE LOVED AT ALL--WORTH THE PAIN!

SOMETIMES, IF WE KNEW THE OUTCOME, WE WOULD HAVE AVOIDED THE PAIN, BUT, THEN WE WOULD HAVE MISSED THE DANCE!

LOVE!