Roca Del Desierto . . . The Nation Had To Grow Into Your Music, Just Like the Band Did!
"Love left you hungry . . . left a dead man running, a dead rider . . . Just look to the sky, look to the Sun, just look to the sky!" --God's Revolver, Lead Singer, Reid Rouse, Screams to the Dead Rider in All of Us!
In God's Revolver's original CD, called, Little Black Horse Where Are You Going With Your Dead Rider?, the band was actually, writing and singing about, an actual, dead rider, found still on his horse, dead with his boots still on, and trusting dog, still near his side, found by one of the band members and his father, who were out riding horses, on a bright fall afternoon, up Provo Canyon, and noticed the strange sight, of the cowboy, with a small trickle of blood, running out of his ear, appearing lifeless and dead, and wondering, what happened, murder? suicide? lover's triangle? It is a natural tendency, for people, who witness a traumatic event, such as a death, to wonder, what the fuck happened here . . . he is too young . . . and then, we like to connect the dots, creating a whole circle of events, to fill in the missing gaps, of the story of this young man's life, that was taken, when he was too young! You took my pain away, then gave it back again . . . as young men, now a bit older, raise their arms, at a concert, as if feeling the pain, of this young lover, possibly, caught in a lover's triangle, shot by a jealous husband, or a murderous lover--Who's fucking bed are you sleeping in tonight? The band does an amazing job, of capturing the words, the passion, and the music, that is so perfect, for the story, the epic western, and the passion of life, love, and death, all part of living.
The one thing, I love, being the passionate person, I am, is the total, unabashed, engulfing, passion, mostly male passion--this is guy music, speaking to guys, telling their stories . . . and it is with male bravado, that the band plays their music with, the way, Reid Rouse, lead singer, raising his arm to the air, singing--Come on boys, let's give'em, what for! as the band, answers and drills the music back home, in God's Revolver @ Crucialfest 5, a band, almost 10 years older, makes the music taste better, due to seasoning . . . Reid still strong, with a voice, close to Jim Morrison of the Doors, often compared, still feels the music, maybe more, now, than he did, back when he is completely out of breath, in 10/23, exhausted, and bent over, taking a few minutes to recover, to get his balance back, as he puts 100% into the lyrics . . . and Elliot, then and now, along with other band members, head bang, rock to the music, so into it, they almost fall backwards, living, breathing, and feeling to the core of their beings, even at a time, early on, that, most of the band members had never even had a girlfriend.
THAT WAS THEN . . . THIS IS NOW!
But--they have had girls, hearts broken or healed, by now, although, I remember, back in the day, Elliot telling me the reason they were not touring on their new CD, was that Reid was laid up for several months, unable to play, back in 2011, when the band released their second CD, that I have not seen since that time, when Elliot gave me a copy, of their first, of three, or that was the original plan, with Sony Records, but, Rouse and his girlfriend were up on the balcony of a house in Salt Lake City, Utah, and they got into a fight, and I think, Reid either lost his balance, or even worse, his girlfriend, pushed him off the roof, but, nonetheless, I don't think the young band, had any clue, just how good their music was, back then, how indicative of life and love, back when, they were too young, too young, other lyrics in Scratch Dealt Me a Dirty Hand, and he did, Brett, my 3rd husband, seen, standing in the audience, with the punk hair, trying to blend in, 5 years after I had seen him, standing a foot taller than the rest of the young crowd! and then, he skulks away, disappearing into the crowd, the coward that he is . . . fake bands, spotlights 20 feet over an imitation of 5, glass hanging crystal balls, to distract the viewers, can't make up, for passion, power, lyrics, and the ideas of the originals---who struggled with the death of the dead rider, and I get, that Scratch gets that too, as he turns and leaves, forever, I hope!
Wisdom out of the mouth of babes, now men, coming out of the woods, coming into their own . . . being resurrected . . . "just look to the SON! look to the sky!" Reid pleads for the last holy breaths of this young man on the black horse, symbolic of youth dying, as all men do, "WE Rust" . . . you might live, young riders, to take the reigns of your own destiny, control your own, very manly music, TO RIDE AGAIN!
The Stockholm Syndrome--Surviving and Understanding Predators
When Elliot, asked me for his first, red electric guitar, back when he was 11 or 12, I was practicing law, as an assistant attorney general, in Utah, with an office at the state capitol building, and there was a new syndrome, called, Shaken Baby Syndrome, which was related to and attributed, to deaths of infants, that came as a result, of a parents, sitter, or someone, taking a new born baby, still with the skull, or a soft spot on their skull, still undeveloped and open, so that the birth of a baby was easier, on the mother and the baby, as the newborn, made it through the birth canal, so small, that the brain and bones, covering the brain, had to contract, just to come through the mother and out into the world. One male attorney, in the Utah Attorney Generals Office was an expert on the syndrome and spoke to audiences, attorneys, and cops, nationwide to educate them on the dangerous activity of picking up a baby, with a soft spot, still open, and shaking the baby, out of frustration, play, or to interact with that baby. I find it, interesting, that 20 years down the road, in a very related, activity, and one, near and dear to me, seeing Elliot, the Red Jesus, still head slamming and banging, 20 years later, as he and I embarked on music and law, at about the same time . . . to hear about a recent study, that, with all the head banging, there were actual benefits, rather than deficits, to banding the brain around, not in a loose skull, but, in a fully developed, tight, hard as nails, skull, and a protected brain, that can, endure any beating, with Elliot's head banging, consistent, constant, and completely wild! but safe, and he has the grades to prove it!
The Stockholm Syndrome Got Its Name from a Hostage Situation, That Took Place in Stockholm, Sweden
This morning, I was watching a true crime episode, in which, a young married couple, go fishing for the weekend, up at a remote lake in the forest, and spend hours, not being able to catch a fish. There was another fisherman, up at the lake, who told the young couple, that there was another lake, about three miles, more remote, that he heard from other fishers, that the fish were biting like crazy, and if they wanted him to show them where the lake was, he would be glad to accompany them, because he was interested in better fishing too. Once up at the lake, the two men, took a walk, and the young bride, celebrating her first wedding anniversary with her husband, was cooking dinner. Suddenly out of the blue, she hears a gun shot ring out, and looks up, to see her dog, she had since she was a young girl, take off into the forest, to where the shot rang out . . . later she heard another shot, and the dog, stopped barking. Eventually, Tom Brown, the name of the other fisherman, who showed the pair the sight, came to the fire, and told the girl, that he shot her husband and also her dog that attacked her. The girl, only 17 years old, went into shock, and the man, much older, told her, she needed to stay with him, and he took her deeper into the woods.
After several days of walking and rape, taking place, periodically through the day, the man, softened by this girl's, nightly reading of the scriptures, decided, they needed to go back to town, and report the accidental shooting, which became the story, of both the man, and his three day or so, captive, whom he had killed, both her husband, boyfriend, since she was 15 years old, and her life long pet, which at first, the cops accepted, without question, seeing that the gun could have gone off, when the man, handed the 22 Model Savage Rifle, to the other man. With the statements of both the man and the dead man's wife, who also lost her dog, in the incident, the cops, had no suspicions that the story, or the death, was the result of anything but, an accident, that can happen, up in the woods, and with guns. However, as the girl's mother, much older and more experienced, knowing, more the hearts of men, and the innocence of her daughter, when hearing the whole story, said . . . this was no accident, that man, murdered your husband and dog, to get to you! When the young woman, was able to process this incident, and make sense of it all, she was able to see, that, the man, killed what she loved, to get to her, and she changed her story, and the man, was charged with first degree murder! And he was convicted!
4 Elements to the Stockholm Syndrome: (1) a traumatic event or episode; (2) isolation of the victim or hostage; (3) indoctrination; and (4) the promise of reward . . . safety for this young woman
As experts were called into the case, to rehabilitate the girls, first police statement, the criminologists and psychologists, said, this statement was completely consistent with the four phases and elements of someone, in a hostage situation, being held against their will, after the shooting of a loved husband and dog, in fear of her own life, being held, raped repeatedly by the same man, and hearing his side of the story, or his facts, and his version of the shooting, which, she was not close enough to see, making, it now her only version of what happened, being totally brainwashed and indoctrinated, with the promise, that she would be safe, which would totally be on her mind, in light of the fact that 2 people and a dog, went fishing, and only one person and the murder, would make it alive out of the woods! This syndrome was applied to Patty Hurst, kidnapped and taken hostage, later, being involved with the captors, in a bank robbery . . . something she didn't need to do, with plenty of money, being the heir of the newspaper mogul father, William Randolf Hurst, whom I believe had been hit up for a ransom, in exchange for his daughter's release, and with her later, sympathizing with her kidnappers, even siding with them, over her father! Many situations have risen, given, wings and meaning to this syndrome, first acknowledged, as the hostages in the Swedish incident, actually, denigrated their own country, and spoke against it, and for their new captors of another nationality.
This young girl, still, I am sure, in denial, shock and unable to process, this incident herself, still traumatized by the fact, that she was held by the man who murdered her husband on purpose, was surely, a victim and suffering from the Stockholm Syndrome. As I finished the episode, I did what, I used to rarely do, but seem to be doing it at very strange times, I sneezed, as in 'tis you! This man's name, in the TV show, and case, the murderer, was, Tom Brown, with double symbolic significance to me. The CIA, had lunch with my client, Tom Vail, and basically, had someone, the other me, probably attorney, Kay, now with Brett, the same pair, who stole, Elliot's music, with family help, Shelley, closest cousin, Isaac . . . brown hair, brown eyes, and Kay's first husband, being Brown, as in Tim Brown, of Bountiful, Kay's husband and Shelley's friend, since high school! So, the name, Tom, became, symbolic of the CIA . . . that is just how my mind works. But, the man in the show, also, looked, very much like Brett! and he had that predator attitude, of taking whatever in the hell he wants!
However, even after leaving Brett, there was some residual, due to the fact that, it took another 4 years for me, to realize that I was not dying and to get my law license reactivated--but the mob, took my house, cases, furniture, right before I was going to the 10th Circuit, with Kay taking my place, and re-traumatizing me, followed by Allan Rex Bess's death, and non-stop since, and in a relentless fashion, have not let up since, the release of Elliot's band's, first CD with Sony, that, as far as I am aware, was never released--by the real band. All the way along, I saw, step by step and plan by plan, sabotage by sabotage, how these fuckers took over Elliot's bands' music . . . and I think, God's Revolver, was second to Parallax, that had involved and sensationalized, Blake Donner's death, and the Provo Death Cave, incident, that had traumatized Elliot, big time! You have a traumatized son and mother! and total access to the music and the money! Actually, both parents were taken out of the game, about the time, Parallax was getting big back in 2000 . . . Zeke or Richard, Elliot's dad got fired from his 17 year job, and successful attorney mother, was poisoned, and suppose to die, then when the first band hit big time, in the underground music scene, popping out, CD's every time I talked to Elliot, Blake Donner, and three others were murdered! Trauma, trauma, trauma . . . and who would understand this syndrome better than, an FBI or CIA agent?
Elliot Was the Prize Brett Wanted
Elliot and God's Revolver Band, where his trophy, the prize . . . after I left him, Kay, was close enough to be a substitute for me, and Isaac, at first, became a substitute for Elliot . . . Isaac, could be, genetically, explained away as the product or son of Brett and Kay, or Brett and Shelley . . . but brown and hazel, without blue, can't create, blue eyes and red hair of Elliot! Predators, derive pleasure from pain. I don't know, that I was a victim of the Stockholm Syndrome, but I was in a very isolated place, Mt. Sterling, with a captor, who had the truck, after a very traumatic experience, that of being told I was going to die, and having to give up my law practice. I didn't need to be indoctrinated, the government, or Shelley, or the FBI, or whomever, poisoned me, had fucked my mind and brain up major, it was like being in a fog, and I was like a 5 year old hostage. I guess the promise of a reward, was, not dying, having Brett take care of me, which he did . . . but as I started to get better, my will power started to come back, and he started losing control over me, until, finally I left.However, even after leaving Brett, there was some residual, due to the fact that, it took another 4 years for me, to realize that I was not dying and to get my law license reactivated--but the mob, took my house, cases, furniture, right before I was going to the 10th Circuit, with Kay taking my place, and re-traumatizing me, followed by Allan Rex Bess's death, and non-stop since, and in a relentless fashion, have not let up since, the release of Elliot's band's, first CD with Sony, that, as far as I am aware, was never released--by the real band. All the way along, I saw, step by step and plan by plan, sabotage by sabotage, how these fuckers took over Elliot's bands' music . . . and I think, God's Revolver, was second to Parallax, that had involved and sensationalized, Blake Donner's death, and the Provo Death Cave, incident, that had traumatized Elliot, big time! You have a traumatized son and mother! and total access to the music and the money! Actually, both parents were taken out of the game, about the time, Parallax was getting big back in 2000 . . . Zeke or Richard, Elliot's dad got fired from his 17 year job, and successful attorney mother, was poisoned, and suppose to die, then when the first band hit big time, in the underground music scene, popping out, CD's every time I talked to Elliot, Blake Donner, and three others were murdered! Trauma, trauma, trauma . . . and who would understand this syndrome better than, an FBI or CIA agent?
New True Crime Series Coming Out . . . FBI Serial Killer
At the same time, that Elliot's band was hitting the big time, with God's Revolver, there was, back in about 2008, a new TV series, called 24 Hours, Keifer Southerland, FBI hit man, and I remember, both Rachel and my father, being so enamored with this series, taking it all in, loving and discussing it, along with Rachel, disappearing, along with Isaac, and Shelley for about a two year period, between, 2007 and 2009, when I knew, the family, with the help of Brett, and other family members, was stealing Elliot's band's music, and I even knew who was taking Elliot's place, Ryan Chambers, a red head guitar player, good enough, to at least fake the music on stage, with laser lights, and spotlights, above the heads, giving the illusion of a real band, but, without the passion and authenticity, that are so critical to lasting success and staying power! I also, knew that the record label was Exigent out of Kaysville . . . that little CIA symbolism and signs, so agents can communicate without talking!
Double Trouble . . . The Death of JoAnn Catronack, of Catasauqua, Pennsylvania . . . Mother and Baby Murdered by Ex-Girlfriend of Husband!
It is one thing, when you are dealing with a psychopath for an ex-husband, a predator, a ruthless killer, and you are his prey, and so is your baby, but, double the trouble, when, his new girlfriend, allegedly you, or me, is also a predator, a psychopath, and they are both spies, for the government, teaming with a family, with a former spy for a father, and a few son-in-laws, hired and married to infiltrate a family, of targets, with all spouses teaming up about the time of little brother's band success . . . with total power, total access, and total, ability to steal the music, taking the money, from the band, to fund the new band, and efforts to keep the parents, isolated, without money, connections, and power of their own, that they both, used to have, making them financially, struggling, and then, go after them, time and time again, with all the power of the Mormon Church, using, members to harass both parents, with cops, prosecutors, planning departments, judges, legislators, etc., all under the allegiance of the church banner and whomever, they want taken care of these minions, useful idiots will take care of, without question . . . because, when the prophet has spoken, the debates over, and the same with the government, for these little stooby doos!
When a Man Is Left By One Wife . . . The New One, Always Has to Worry About a Rival in the Old Wife, and Even Worse, When You Have Stolen the Old Wife's Identity! Son's Band, and Career, Cases, Water Compacts, Continuing the Fraud to Protect the Original Goal of Taking the Music! Whether They are Partners in Love, Or Partners in Crime . . . They Share Tons of Damning Secrets Together, Leaving them Totally Bound for Life!
So, in this true crime episode, I emphasis, the true crime, because, the friends, co-workers, fellow church goers, family members, cops, prosecutors, investigators, and judges, don't tend to see crime in their fellows who have made them money, brought fortune and fame to the state, and acclaim through a fucking huge ass case, that the first wife did! the real attorney, the real member of the U.S. federal court system . . . not a stand in fraud . . . no pretenders wanted here! So, with so much skin in the game, that double, is trouble, from both sides of the game, from the original who can put, new girlfriend, now oldie moldie, to shame, and the thoughts of any happiness for the old wife, with a new man, is also a threat to ex-husband, who will kill him or them!
Okay, with that said, shortly before JoAnn's death, one night, three days before death, she got a disturbing phone call, later to be disclosed by a friend or her mother-in-law, after JoAnn and her baby's death, a call that came from a Patricia Roar, a former girlfriend, of JoAnn's husband, who wanted to get together with her old flame, and JoAnn, told her, he was married now, and had a baby, so she needed to leave her and her family lone--and she slammed down the phone. It was guessed, that, Patricia got mad at the new wife--significantly younger than both the husband and Patricia, which might have added to the anger, when, JoAnn, told her to get lost, and stay away from her husband. Looking at the phone call, and evidence, connecting dots, it looked like a very pissed off older woman, came to ex-boyfriend's home, cut the phone lines and electricity, later cutting her victim off at the car, as she buckled her young son, into his car seat, and Patricia took JoAnn and her baby, into the woods, in a rural area, first shot her, but the gun jammed, so she, then beat JoAnn to death, hitting her 19 times, leaving her and her 4 month old baby to die . . . the baby was found on her abdomen, and when Patricia was charged, she was also, charged with killing JoAnn and her baby boy.
Once Again, the Symbolic Names Can't Be Ignored!
If you take the first true crime episode, and this next one, you will get a big picture of my case, in its entirety:
- Tom Brown, Tom (CIA) Brown, husband of Kay Burningham Brown Buttars ?, or that name could serve as a class of men, all members of the intelligence community, either FBI or CIA, and I believe, all the insiders, the men, whom have been part of my life of the last 4 years, or more, starting with Brett, have been top cops, with an attraction to me, due to my government and constitutional preservation, protection and defense, against the Patriot Act, representing, a group of I would say, men, whom, have their way with women, as a part of their job, all knowing each other, sending one human male sacrifice, as soon as the last one is rejected by me, making a class of powerful men, who all are drawn to me, but, have long hated me as well! and they all are predators, and I am their prey, as is my son, somehow, I think, these men concocted, some hair ball scheme, that due to me killing asset forfeiture laws, that spread from what I did in Utah to, other states, not only in that area, but with doctors and financial planners, giving the government a huge ass hit, and set back, keeping men, like these from the cookie jar . . . so they made it Cookie's Jar . . . or their CIA chick's jar! all of me! Oh, I almost forgot, remember, I wrote about Elliot's favorite dark green knit beanie, he wore for years, it seemed, partly to keep warm and partly to keep his wild ass hair in place! but, in Playplaceland, here at McDonald's, some guy, a salt and pepper, gray haired, Brett look-alike, was sitting in with a kid or two, but he was wearing a green knit beanie! I always thought, that someone stole that, hat, either someone close to me, or at my house, or after Elliot visited me, but, I knew, that it was due to the fact, that the hat would be worth a small fortune, or already was . . . Isaac may have taken it . . . I remember being pissed, because Elliot was always wearing it, and he missed it, and I knew, it was his favorite color, and the replacement black knit hat, wasn't as perfect for his red or copper hair, being a color suited for redheads! I was just watching a new crime episode, in between writing, while eating lunch, and, the episode was called, Common Thread, the situation of a serial killer, who admitted to killing 10 women, several the cops didn't even know about, but what connected all the other killings they knew about, was a red fiber, found in one make of car, and found on all the victims! The thought came to mind, as I walked by this man with a goatee, and looking like an older version of Brett, that, Isaac or someone close to me, might have given that knit hat to Brett! and perhaps, someone close to the case, will have seen him wearing it, and also, going to the video, 8/23, where Elliot yanks the green beanie off, throws it to the ground, and connects, the same hat to the predator and the victim or prey!
- Patricia Roar, again, there is tremendous meaning in the killer's name, on several levels. The actual acronym, of the Central Intelligence Agency, or CIA, is in the name of the killer, Patricia, indicating to me, a COMPANY gal, or insider. Remember the song by Katy Perry, Roar . . . your going to hear me ROAR, this rival of the younger wife, having just had a baby, was a cowgirl, had won some contest in the rodeo, had horses, which was one of the things that connected her to the murder, the body had been dumped, out in a rural area, where there were horses near by, and this chick had some. The thing that is interesting to me, is, that, once you take, away, all that makes a person, who they are, there is something very traumatizing to that person, and something very enabling to the person, who is then, anointed with your successes and titles, as is the case with sister, Shelley, who is not an attorney, nor professor, or anything, and has had shitty jobs, fending for herself, so if the FBI or the CIA, were to contact her, and ask her to help, take me down, you have the effect of an older sister, who may have been the one who made the poison that took me down, had everything to gain, sibling rivalry, always in MY SHADOW, wanting to kick me down a notch or two, making me, literally, and figuratively younger, or taking away my power tools, so to say, which is exactly what they did, when I was poisoned back in 2000! So, it is the fraud broads who, ROAR, because, of the theft, they are seen as the ones, who did my cases, had my kids, had my more than stellar career, involving all the top professions: I am an attorney, was a professor, and worked, as the general counsel, over the doctors, saved them from government investigations, having still not recovered from what I did, then doing the same thing, with financial planners, only getting to them, before, much damage was done . . . so being assigned, not only the title of all I had done, and stripping me of all of it, leaves the affect of a much younger, more vulnerable women, and it was big sis, or rival Kay, who had the power boys and government behind them, as I had previously had! I believe that both Shelley and Kay, had previous relationships with Brett, prior to me marrying him! Both of them, may have rejected him, or he may have rejected them . . . Kay did everything in her power, to let him know she was jealous, she cooked, asked Brett to do this or that, Honey Do lists, and as the first meeting with Shelley, Brett, followed her in the kitchen and left me alone, I would say, indicating, this was a planned deal, they the team or the predators, and me their prey! But, they, all three, plus, a few more Southwicks, could not get this Katy Perry Mason, to stop ROARING . . . I did it ALL you fucks! Another aspect, is the male rival, and JFK, John Fitzgerald Kennedy, I have symbolically, connected to the word, Fitzpatrick, or connecting to James "Angel" Kennedy, whom, knowing Kay, and Shelley, and James . . . all parties may have fucked each other, with Brett and James, very much being Alpha males, and knowing men, competitors, therefore, adding a male rivalry to the female rivalry, and twisting and complicating everything, with male and female jealousy, envy . . . Brett had me when I was doing nothing, stole, my old career, then, going all the way to the United States Supreme Court, after being told I would never work again, attests to him, my superiority over, both Shelley and Kay, or Rachel, for James, or the fake James, all as being inferior, with the roar, of a fake, being drowned by the roar of Perry Mason, the attorney mom, on the son, born in May . . . all over the Internet, and famous in face and name, if not in money! trumping that butt fucking faggot Isaac, who participated, and blocking that fag, from his glory, by writing about Elliot in my blog, putting pictures of him, writing about his hair, and his stories and history . . . and lazy ass Isaac, is standing in his cousin's fame, once again . . . there is no short cut to success, dumb asses, and that goes for Rachel, who is ME as of late, being blonde with blue eyes, to cover, me, as Elliot's mom . . . no, Rachel's boys are fat asses! with flat pancake faces, like Rachel's! And MOM ROARS AGAIN! as I can with all my kids! All potential male lover, rivals, have been murdered by the possessive ex-husbands, but, James would be in their class, and with the Kennedy name, they seemed to just warn him, not kill him, but I am sure they would, if there was a serious threat, because, I am the TRUE QUEEN, and the TRUE KING maker! Kay, Shelley, Rachel, etc. are only the Queens, as long as they are ME!
- JoAnn Catronack . . . JoAnn, the one who had the abortion, that strangely, my rivals want to claim, even the two mums, Shelley and Rachel, who had babies, part of the Triplets as they are called: (1) Tyrone Southwick, Shelley's brat . . . probably FBI too, giving jobs to her losers, never can do anything without Mommy Dearest who fucked them over so much! (2) Emily Hickey, Rachel's daughter, who, either just had a baby, out of wedlock, of course, like she would have 4 years earlier, had I not mothered her; and then (3) Tipper or MaryJane Nelson, at college somewhere, Mark and Marcie's daughter! Had I not aborted, the baby I was carrying, the first 19 or so days in May of 1994 or 5, I would have had a baby, the Quads, making four babies born, all in the month of March, but I chose otherwise, so, Shelley had a baby, Rachel had a baby, and if I am not Elliot's mother, prove who had the baby I aborted? and prove who I am? I can prove who these women or sisters, if by any stretch of your brain, you could classify them as sisters, are, if they are not me, because, they live double lives . . . so does Kay, therefore, who in the fuck am I, if not me . . . I am sitting right here in Missoula, at McDonald's at 2:32 P.M., and I will go wave at the surveillance cameras to prove it . . . I think I have a buck left on my money card, I will get a fudge Sunday to prove, card ending in 0192! So, the last name is symbolic too, and this is how, the CIA and FBI, communicate, watching surveillance cameras, through gestures and symbolic messages and names, words, and codes, they can pass along information without talking, but, I have a knack, in doing this, having long, used symbolism in dream interpretation, and as an English major, using colors, words, and all to interpret, the subconscious messages of a writer or the conscious messages, in the Scarlet Letter! I have mentioned that one of my words to connote, CIA is CATS or CAT, as in JoAnn Catronack . . . I have trained myself, not only to read your messages to each other, but to key into your subconscious messages, that are God driven . . . you can't help but reveal yourselves!
- Roger Dingeman . . . Ding E or Elliot Man!
- Peggy Courter . . . one of my signs for Kay, came, right after, Brett and Kay spent the arranged weekend together, while I was a sideline. But, from that point on, I didn't want Brett and was just looking for the right time to escape, Mt. Sterling, and one day, I had taken a walk, to get out of the compound and away from my captor, and I was over hiding at the church farm house, across the way and field from our house, thinking and planning my escape, without a car and being watched 24/7 at home, but there was this peg board in the garbage at the house, and I thought, Kay must be getting bored, waiting for Brett, an obvious attraction, either from before or after, with me as a sideline, but a threat, I was NOT in true form, and not me, as I am now. Brett started to expect more of me, in our relationship, as I healed, but I was not willing to give more, and Kay had cooked, worn aprons, and I could tell Brett liked a picture of Kay in shorts and mountain biking, maybe he took the picture? But, I wanted out, don't like sloppy seconds, or trashy firsts, and I was mentally gone, anywhere, as soon as I had a way out! Brett controlled my money too, as my representative payee . . . he signed the application to Social Security as HUSBAND, probably the only authentic proof of the status we had, under the nonsolemnized or non-ceremonial marriage statutes we used to get married! So, this name is particularly telling, in and of the fact, that, Kay got credit for the Brock case, and the 10th Circuit Court brief, all fucking brilliant and famous! people were paying to get hot copy of my writing, just like they do now . . . Leopards don't change their spots . . . Kay wrote loser books, and her blog, now is loser! if you can find it, or it may be MINE, with a different name? So, the boyz club and all the paid, bought and dead if they tell, killers on the loose, would say, Kay did the Brock and other cases . . . Peggy Courter or Kay Court Her!
- Trooper Robert Egan . . . Mayor of Missoula, Mayor Engen, and I always misspell it . . . but, Sheriff D.J. McDermitt, is surely one of theirs . . . may indicate, locals! There was hardball politics played, in the race between McDermitt and to get, Undersheriff at the time, Jason Clark, or something like that . . . too many names, too many places, too many crime shows! LOL! City cops answer to the mayors, sheriffs answer to the people, what better, in this world of trying to unify cops, erasing lines of demarcation, than to get rid of that distinction between the sheriffs and the city cops, and make them all answerable to the mayor, through the sheriff? or putting insiders in the sheriff's department, to keep control away from the people, or at least split loyalty, keeping it with, cops!
- Ke Jun Kim . . . that is pronounced, KAY June (Isaac's birthday) Kin! that is how it is phonetically said or sounded! And this guy was an entomologist or someone who studies bugs! Surveillance 24/7 gives spy gals, what I am doing at all times, I have to go through God and symbols, TV shows and other signs . . . I don't have the fucking government to help me, the fucking government is on my back, 24/7, giving the Company girlz, my information REAL TIME!
- Joseph Dizzino . . . Jo . . . Dies . . . I Know!
- Sarah O'Conner . . . mother, Sarah is the red head daughter of Sue and Kevin Schmidt, suggesting, that Susan is the mother of the red headed son . . . NO, Sue and Kev, have 2 brown haired sons, no redheads, but three redheaded daughters! Believe me, they, have me so buried, you would be hard pressed to guess who I am, even if you knew me, due to lies, sex and video tapes, rock and roll, drugs and such. No, I would never put this time, into my sisters' kids . . . only MINE, Greta, Nicole, Christian, and Elliot . . . the HOT HOUSE! HOT MAMA'S MAKE HOT KIDS!
CUT IT OUT! FAST FOCUS TV!
Finish Your Sunday Off Holy!
P.S., It is interesting, in the death of JoAnn and her baby boy, very symbolic, the defense team of attorneys for, Patricia Roar, refused to accept the theory of the prosecution, when they said the motive for the murders, was revenge for telling the ex-girlfriend, to stay out of their lives, that she and her husband were married, and had a baby--stating that normal people don't act like that. And the prosecutors said, You are right . . . normal people don't murder people, when they don't like what they are told to do, and disagree with . . . and Patricia is NOT normal! If there is anything, the one point, I want people to learn from my case, is that psychopaths, are not normal people, they don't react normal, nor do they do normal things, that is what makes it so difficult for, those of us, who society would classify as normal, people who respect marital boundaries, respect life, respect someone's sincere position protecting their family unit, and the greater majority of us, would never, ever, kill someone, for telling us to stay away from a husband or a wife, but, these people are not normal!!!!!!! You could say, they are nice, charming, interesting, intelligent, smart, beautiful, but, they don't react normally, they don't think normal, they do things, other people would not do, and they get away with it, because, normal people can't believe ANYONE would do this or that, and the unbelief, is what stops normal people from acknowledging what I would consider, pure evil, masked, in whatever nice wrapping it comes in . . . stealing someone's ID, is not normal, but, there are many people who do it . . . but, actually claiming you are the person, taking everything from them, including trying to take their own children and grandchildren, is so far from normal, that it is unbelievable, and we refuse to believe it, so the person they are doing it to, gets re-victimized by the system, because, they due to unbelief, see no evil, hear no evil, and speak no evil, allowing the EVIL to get away, and the Good, left unprotected against these predators!
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