Sunday, October 18, 2015

DEADLY PLOT . . . GREEDY, SPOILED SON, WITH FAILING COLLEGE GRADES, GOING TO BE DENIED USE OF CAR, KILLS SISTER, MOTHER AND FATHER, TRIED TO GET TO HIS FATHER'S MONEY, PARENT'S ESTATE, BOUGHT NEW $107,000 NEW LEXUS, CLAIMED HE HAD A BRAIN TUMOR TO GET SYMPATHY FROM GRANDMOTHER, TO GET HER MONEY, SAID HE HAD A RECORD DEAL, HANGING OUT WITH TONS OF GIRLS, GIVES SOB STORY AT HIS FAMILY'S FUNERAL, SINGS A BIZARRE SONG, ACTING LIKE IT IS WHY HE HAS A RECORD DEAL; KID IS A PSYCHOPATH, A CHRONIC LIAR, FEELS NOTHING FOR ANY ONE BUT HIMSELF, AND WHAT HE WANTS. FAMILY FUN, VACATIONS, TIME WITH PARENTS, AS HUMANS, NOT JUST WORKING MACHINES, CAN HELP PREVENT SOME OF THIS TYPE OF BEHAVIOR. KIDS WANT TIME WITH THEIR PARENTS, GOOD QUALITY TIME . . . RADIO ANNOUNCER THIS MORNING, INTERVIEWING AN EXECUTIVE FROM DISNEY TOURS, ALSO INVOLVED IN THE TOURIST INDUSTRY, SAID, IT DOESN'T MATTER IF YOU TAKE A FORMAL VACATION, JUST THE TIME TOGETHER IS GOOD. MASTER CARD HAS A NEW AD, THAT SHOWS KIDS, BEGGING THEIR MOTHER AND FATHER, FOR JUST ONE MORE DAY OF VACATION, AND HE GAVE STATISTICS OF WHAT THAT ALSO WOULD PUMP INTO THE ECONOMY. HE QUOTED THAT IF EVERYONE TOOK THEIR YEARLY VACATIONS, EACH YEAR, THEY WOULD ADD $108 BILLION TO THE ECONOMY, HAVE FEWER HEART ATTACKS, ESPECIALLY WOMEN, AND THEIR COMPANIES, TEND TO PRODUCE BETTER RESULTS WHEN THEIR WORKERS ARE FORCED TO TAKE VACATION! ONE COMPANY, ACTUALLY PAYS THEIR EMPLOYEES $2000 BONUSES TO TAKE THEIR YEARLY VACATION, AND HELP WITH EXPENSES! NICE . . . BOSSES NEED TO SET THE EXAMPLE FOR THEIR EMPLOYEES, MAKING TIME OFF A PRIORITY, IT SETS THE TONE FOR OTHER WORKERS, MAKING THEM FEEL THAT IT IS IMPORTANT TO GO ON VACATIONS AND TAKE FAMILY TIME, FAMILY LEAVE WITH BABIES, AND THAT TENDS TO ENERGIZE THE WORK FORCE! PEOPLE WITH DISABLED CHILDREN, NEED A BREAK EVEN MORE, AND THERE ARE PEOPLE TO HELP, COMMUNITY RESOURCES. THE DEADLY PLOT WAS DONE BY A FILIPINO BOY, WHO'S PARENTS MOVED TO AUSTRALIA, PRACTICED LAW, MOM WORKED AS WELL, THEY HAD A BEAUTIFUL NEW HOME, ONLY ABOUT 7 MONTHS OLD, THE DAUGHTER WAS A VERY GIVING GIRL, GOT GOOD GRADES, AND RESPECTED HER PARENTS, THE SON ON THE OTHER HAND, HAD ISSUES FROM CHILDHOOD, AND REFUSED TO SEE A THERAPIST OR GET COUNSELING, ENDED UP A SPOILED KID, WHO HAD CONSTANT CONFLICTS WITH HIS PARENTS, OVER GRADES, TIME AWAY FROM HOME, AND HANGING OUT WITH FRIENDS--EVENTUALLY THIS CAME TO A HEAD, BECAUSE THE FATHER, HAD HIGH EXPECTATIONS FOR HIS SON, ESPECIALLY, IN GETTING GOOD GRADES IN COLLEGE, AND THE SON WAS LYING TO HIS PARENTS ABOUT HIS GRADES, THE FATHER FOUND OUT AND WAS GOING TO TAKE HIS NEW CAR AWAY! THE KID, SETH, TOOK A BASEBALL BAT, SMASHED HIS SISTER ON THE HEAD, THEN STABBED HER, HE STABBED HE'S MOTHER AS SHE CAME HOME FROM WORK, EVENTUALLY ENDED UP CUTTING HER THROAT, AND THEN ATTACKED HIS FATHER AS HE WALKED THROUGH THE DOOR, STABBING HIM, MULTIPLE TIMES, SINKING THE KNIFE INTO HIS FATHER'S THROAT, FOR THE FINAL BLOW. THIS IS AN EXTREME CASE, BUT, I AM JUST GUESSING THAT LIFE WAS JUST ALL ABOUT WORK, LITTLE TIME SPENT WITH KIDS, ALL ABOUT MAKING MONEY, DRIVING THE NICE CARS, LIVING IN THE NEW HOUSE, AND LITTLE ABOUT, ACTUALLY, TAKING TIME TO JUST HANG OUT WITH OUR KIDS! SOME CHEAP FUN IDEAS, THAT I HAVE SEEN JUST THIS WEEK, IN MISSOULA . . . . FALL FAMILY FEST, HALLOWEEN FAMILY FUN IN THE PARK, HAY RIDES . . . I TOOK ONE, SO FUN, BEAUTIFUL DAY, MARSHMALLOW ROAST, OPEN FIRE, YUMMY, GUNNY SACK RACES, INTERESTING WILD LIFE DISPLAYS, BABY GAMES AND CLIMBING OBJECTS, KETTLE CORN, FOOD, MUSIC, PARACHUTE GAMES, HOOLA HOOPS, ETC., GRANDMA'S AND PA'S, MOMS AND DADS, AND TONS OF KIDS . . . PUT ON BY PARKS AND RECREATION, FUN, FUN, FUN, OH, PUMPKIN HUNT! THEY ASKED FOR A ONE DOLLAR DONATION! HELL, ANYWHERE ELSE, YOU WOULD PAY, AT LEAST $10 TO $20 FOR JUST THE HAY RIDE, IT WAS LONG, AND THE SCENERY GORGEOUS! THE RADIO ANNOUNCER, WHO WAS DOING THE INTERVIEW THIS MORNING, SAID, HIS VERY FAVORITE, MEMORY OF HIS FATHER, WAS THAT HIS DAD, BOUGHT A SLIP & SLIDE WATER, YARD TOY, AND THEN SPENT THE DAY PLAYING WITH HIS BROTHERS AND SISTERS! IT DOES'T COST AN ARM AND A LEG TO HAVE FUN WITH KIDS, AN EVENING ON THE FRONT PORCH, A WALK THROUGH THE PARK, FUN IN THE MOUNTAINS . . . MONTANANS ARE GOOD AT THIS TYPE OF FUN! I JUST WANT TO MAKE A FEW COMMENTS ON GOOD FATHERING AND THE DIFFERENCE A FATHER MAKES!

Fun at the Swimming Pool!

Right now, I am sitting in the lobby of the Currents, Aquatic Center, just off Greggs St. in Missoula, Montana . . . I think that is the street, I wanted to put that, because, nobody knows where the indoor swimming pool is, including long time residents living in Missoula their whole lives, the outdoor pool is visible from the road, so that is not a problem, but it is down by the skate park, and McCormick Park, maybe they don't know, that the building is a swimming pool?  Anyway, I come to the pool, about every day, and I can't tell you who cool it is to see dads, just having fun, playing water basketball, or hitting beach balls around the pool, or seeing dads, laughing with their daughters who are usually, hanging all over them!  LOL!  Some cuddle time with dad!  Do it now, dad, because if you wait, and kids grow up fast, it may be too, late!  I remember, always wanting to sit on my dad's lap, but he was busy, or talking to my mother, or doing this or that, generally working, and when I was about, 13, and hit an easy streak in work, making a lot of money, and he had more time, he, asked me to come sit on his lap, and I said, no, and by that time, parents were not cool, and sitting on my dad's lap, should have happened years ago, not when I was a teenager, entering that rebellious age.  I think it hurt my father's feelings, but I remember thinking to myself, a bit late, don't you think dad . . . I didn't say that, but thought it, and how many times did I want to get on your lap and you didn't let me, or where too busy.  There is a certain time a parent or a grandparent has to bond with their children and grandchildren, and that time is not long, so when they ask you, get on it, put down your newspaper, stop doing the dishes, mowing the yard, and spend some time, that works for spouses too!

Anyway, there is a party, going on, in the Ripples, Party Room at Currents, it is great, about 12 or so, moms and dads, with kids, not only the birthday boy's age, but babies, and younger siblings, are all there to celebrate this kids, birthday and I would assume to go swimming!  What a great support system for this kid, and a fun activity, that the boy gets to know, both the mothers of his friends, and their father also, and the parents, too, get to engage with one another, and share their friendships as well!  That is awesome, and must be a new thing, because, I don't ever remember either going to a party, or having one for my kids, or taking them to a friend's birthday party, and having the dad's there!  I know my daughter, Greta and her husband, Dallas, and their friends, are very supportive of kids, come to birthdays, and so, that is way cool.  When I was getting my education certificate, to teach, secondary grades, in public school, in one of my classes, we had a list of 28 support systems kids needed to do well in life!  The obvious, family, school, church, neighbors, friends, sports, extra curricular, community programs, etc.  The crowd in the room just sang, Happy Birthday, and what a glorious sight, kids and parents, how wonderful!

My oldest daughter, just turned 40 this month, my Halloween baby, so fun in October, favorite holiday, favorite time of year, and a good thing, because the pregnancy was terrible, so some reward, when all was said and done!  Anyway, the time flies by, so fast, take advantage, they don't stay young for long, and time really does fly.  SIMPLIFY, SIMPLIFY, SIMPLIFY YOUR LIVES, take the time, it goes by like light speed!  One of my nieces, often commiserates with my daughter, both of them had three sons, and all like a gang, that took over mother and father's lives for awhile just to get control over the bouncing baby boys, so fun, so cute, so alive, and so much energy, but someone told her on a bad day, that all you have to do is turn around and they are gone!  She said, I just keep turning around and turning around, and they are still there!  LOL!

The Difference a Father Makes

I am not advocating divorce, by any means, but, if, you do, consider the ages of the kids, the sex of the children left at home, and the personalities of the parents . . . hopefully, you will all just be smart and stay together, being realistic of life, cycles, and changes.  But, at the time I got a divorce, my daughters were 10 and 13, and my boys, were 8 and 5 years old.  I struggled with the idea of who would be best to take the kids, I had been home, doing almost constant duty, with dad, having not only the full 40 hour work week, but he, a city planner, also had night meetings, several nights a week, or church meetings, on week nights, and also, on Sundays, so I had been the primary care giver, and with the kids all the time, and I was ready to go dancing, go golfing, and go to law school, I was burned out, and felt like a single parent, all the time, already, now, I wanted some of the advantages . . . yeah, spouses, can go by the wayside too!  NOT LOL! But, after I was accepted to law school, during the 90 day waiting period, and it didn't look like we were going to get back together, I studied, the differences, between kids who were with their mothers and who ended up with their fathers, and it seemed to boil down to ages and sexes of the children, more than the parents.

I learned that, when the kids are young, they need their mothers more, they are better as telling them, to brush their teeth, make their beds, do their homework, change their underwear, stuff like the daily, every day, hygiene, type things.  But the fathers, are still very important, they find that, if the child sees the dad, reading, just 10 minutes a day, they are better readers, and the kids see reading as important.  Mothers didn't seem to make much of a difference, probably, because she is reading them nap and bedtime stories, since birth, so they don't count what mother does . . . which used to piss me off to no, ends!  LOL!  I remember my kids, saying, after I had just cleaned the entire house, done the yard, and make cookies, Mom, we know what Dad, does all day, but we don't know what you do!  WHAT?  You see what I do every day, and you don't even see what you father does!  Well, we know that he works!  LOL!  Yes, being a mother, often is a thankless job, but all it takes is one day with dad, home, taking care of the kids, and they will appreciate mom, both dad and the kids, things go better with MOM!  LOL!  But, since I felt that my daughters had a very strong role model, with me, home, most of their younger years, except taking a college class here and there, I was home, keeping the home fires burning!  But, my young sons, had not been around dad, much, and they needed a strong male influence, now that they were heading into the magical age of 12, the stage in almost every culture, that boys, actually, are considered young men, and start to identify with the males more than the women.

At the Playground, Going Down a Slide for the First Time . . . Mom, Be Careful, Hang Onto the Railings!  Dad, Get Up That Slide, and Go, Just Go for It!  LOL!

I saw this Hispanic father, with his very, very young son, at the swimming pool, the dad was trying to put goggles on the, really baby, I would say under 2 years of age, and at one point, the dad, let the son, go under the water, and it seemed so long to me, looked like the kid was drowning, and all of the sudden the father, grabbed the kids hand, as he was flailing around in the water, looking to me, like he was drowning, totally! LOL!  I was relieved, when the dad, pulled the son, up and they, high fived each other!  LOL!  I would never have done that, but it was apparent, the father, was very into swimming, was digging being with his tiny son, who seemed to be much older, even toddled over to get more toys for them to enjoy together!  LOL! Dads, just give that something different, that sure and steady hand, that security, that push them, more than mom would, or they pay a little less attention when watching them, making them more, adventuresome, and they seem to, I don't know, not worry about every little stupid thing!  LOL!  I have one huge regret, and that is, once my husband, wanted to get a family gym pass, and for some lame ass reason, I worried about money, or maybe, I was in school, and with church, didn't think we would have had time together as a family, and that would, maybe, have made all the difference, something fun, something dad, initiated, which was rare, I was a control freak, and I regret, that I didn't listen to him, dads, tend to be more FUN!

Some people have compared them, or even referred to dads, as another child!  LOL!  That is not necessarily a bad thing, because, moms are burned out, want to just sit on the side of the pool and veg, or talk to a friend, or just read a book.  Dads are the family back up system, that have not been with the kids, and therefore, are ready to jump in with the kids, and just let their hair down, and just have a great time, go on water slides, get wet, splash and play, with the kids!  Today, I saw about 5 dads, alone with the kids, and about 5 moms, doing the above.  Kids are a lot of work, and it takes two.  Be grateful, the dads, think they are hot shit in a swim suit and will just strut their stuff, regardless of how they look!  LOL!  Women are hiding in the water, or putting their towels around them and seem more self conscious around the water, than the guys.  Males, by 93% think they look great!  Women, only 63%, and I would say that is high!  So, who do you think, at at swim party, is going to get in the water, mess around with the kids . . . if not dad, who? LOL!  I remember, going to St. George, for Easter, our big family activity, extended family, and I didn't even know, someone took the picture, but, Zeke/Richard, was in the hot tub, with Chris and Elliot, and they were young, I would venture I guess I was playing cards, pool side or hanging out with the sisters, back in better times!  But, that picture of my ex-husband, hub at the time and my two young sons, was on the brochure for the Single Tree Inn, for I swear, 20 years!  That would not have happened with MOM!  LOL!

Social Benefits of a Father . . . Many, But a Few Effecting Teens

When I was researching who should get custody, or take the kids, and there were not fights over this, we are both reasonable people, didn't ask the kids, what we decided, was it, and we did our own divorce, but, when I read, that there are fewer drugs, runaways, pregnancies, less alcohol, school truancy, suicides, deaths, that was it . . . you guys are going with DAD!  Not to mention the fact, that he made, $80,000 per year, 25 years ago, and as a new school teacher, I would have made, $14,000, the going rate for teachers, starting to teach in Provo, BYU, feeding grounds, cheap labor!  I am not a home body, he is, he was sick of being away from home, so when he came home at nights, he stayed home, I had been home for almost 15 years, at that point and I wanted out.  They say, that often, in this modern world, as the dad, is ready to come home, has his career under control, mom is ready to leave, and heads out the door, and they totally miss, that in between time, with mom jumping the gun, ready to run!  I have to smile with my daughter, who is very smart, and is able to learn from her mother's mistakes, and make better decisions, family wise . . . while I did everything, family, school, church, then law school, work, etc., she has for the second year in a row, turned down a spot in law school.

Last year she didn't feel ready, and moving her whole family would have been difficult.  This year, she was up, most of the summer, in Oregon as a hot shot firefighter or wild lands, firefighter, and going to law school by August 27, this year, was pushing her family, too much!  She is one smart cookie, and she will, get or did get in to every law school she applied to, and even got a scholarship, to the U of M, and so, I am sure, if the school, feels they can't accommodate the changes, or feels slighted, Greta can get in another law school . . . family first, there is no success that compensates for failure in the home . . . you pay forever!  Thank God, I had great kids, and made some good decisions, and in spite of all the added challenges, my children, continue to RISE!  They are amazing, in and of themselves, and at times, they feel that I should not get credit, like, ah, really?  LOL!  No, they also, are very smart, are very concerned about family issues, and they put their spouses and kids first, while continuing to grow and develop themselves, a hard balance!

ANYWAY . . . JUST SOME THOUGHTS HERE, ON A SUNDAY AFTERNOON!  Thanks to all the GREAT Moms and Dads that RAISE such GOOD KIDS!

KISSES AND HUGS FROM SOCIETY!

And, It Does, Take a Village to Raise a Child . . . Thanks for ALL the Support Systems, My Kids Had!


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