Saturday, March 14, 2015

TNT LIPS--HOT BUY--JAMES ASLEEP AT THE BUS STATION, PERFECTLY PARSED LIPS, DEEP IN HIS DREAMS . . . COULD WAKE THE BEAUTY OR THE BEAST! DIDN'T HAVE THE HEART TO WAKE HIM . . . BUS RIDE AROUND THE VALLEY, GETTING THE REAL SCOOP ON BUTTE'S, OUR LADY OF THE ROCKIES . . . A MIXTURE OF ALL THREE STORIES I HAD HEARD: (1) MAN BUILDING STATUTE IN HONOR OF HIS WIFE, IF SHE GOT BETTER FROM CANCER; (2) MEMORIAL TO MOTHER MARY, REPRESENTING ALL WOMEN--CHAPEL WITH WOMEN'S NAMES FROM ALL 50 STATES, AND 20 COUNTRIES; AND (3) AN AMAZING COMMUNITY EFFORT, THE MORE THE SCOFFERS, SCOFFED, THE MORE DETERMINED THE FOUNDERS BECAME TO GET THE LADY UP ON THE MOUNTAIN, HUNDREDS OF HOURS OF VOLUNTEER WORK, PAY WAS THE NIGHT OUR LADY WAS LITE, DECEMBER 4, 1985, OVER THE BUTTE, MONTANA, VALLEY . . . PEOPLE CRIED, PRAYED, HUGGED, JUMPED FOR JOY, AND LOVE, PEACE JOINED TO GIVE BUTTE A NEW FACE, NEW LIFE, AND A NEW BEGINNING . . . EVEN SAW A GUY THAT LOOKED LIKE JAMES, UP CELEBRATING WITH THE MEN WHO ERECTED THE LADY, CIRCLED IN PRAYER & THANKSGIVING, ALL 90 PLUS FEET OF HER! IF YOU WANT TO CELEBRATE THE LIVES OF WOMEN, MOTHERS, THEIR SACRIFICES, YOU CAN CONTACT, OUR LADY OF THE ROCKIES FOUNDATION, AND DONATE FOR A NEW TRAM, TAKING VISITORS FROM THE BASE OF THE CONTINENTAL DIVIDE TO THE BASE OF OUR LADY OF THE ROCKIES, IN 5 MINUTES, RATHER THAN TWO HOURS!

SEXY and ASLEEP . . . SHOULD I TAKE ADVANTAGE?

Not quite bedroom eyes, or bed hair, but close enough--I wondered where James Kennedy was all night, missing in action at the Butte Rescue Mission, all day, and into the night, failing to check in.  I don't stalk, track, or follow my prey, LOL, but I do like to keep tabs on him, and miss him when he is not there, at least to share dinner, or watch as he walks, rather shuffles, now days, on crutches, across the mess hall at the Mission.  I didn't see him at breakfast, check in or later.  The last I saw him, he was sitting next to me at dinner, and acting very bummed out about his leg, said it was kicking his ass . . . the one that got shot or broken, when he slipped on the ice--he blacked out, so, I am not sure he knows what happened.  Again this is one of those, too bizarre to believe stories, but taken in the context of my life for the last few years, and given the obvious, attraction, whether we speak or not, it is in the air, and not hard to detect, even if Nick is not here to make heart shapes, from across the dining room, when he sees us together.  Some couples try hard to show their passion for each other, kissing and doing all kinds of PDA, public display of affection, but we are about the opposite, a look, and brush of the hand, a peace sign, a smile, not much and not obvious, especially, since he got shot, that is my call, a threat of murder . . . and a brave heart for hanging in here.  Many a man, who has been attracted, with much less to scare them away, will run, leave, avoid, once they see, that I am serious when I say that four men I have liked in the last few years, have ended up dead.

With me, it is enter as your own risk.  He asked me the other night, sore, from the last time I left, without telling him, that I was leaving, why I left without telling him, a bit, more cautious with me, than he had been the first time he met me, a typical guy on the hunt, the pick up lines, and all.  I think he realizes he is playing in a different league, a dangerous one, and may not come out of this one alive.  I told him, that I knew, last time, before leaving, that the signs, were evident to me, that he was in danger, and once again, I get punished for, doing what . . . hurting powerful men, the keeper of hearts, the payback for leaving them, or just what, but they are intent on making sure that I never enjoy love again, if they have any say.  This is a lover's triangle of majestic proportions, going way beyond the love of a man and a woman, but the love of professions, loyalties, allies, enemies, and a 20 year cold war, taking one of their warriors, is forbidden; therefore, to violate their trust, is to die.  Amazing but true.  The stakes are high, the risk high, a zero sum game if you will, that I am in, whether I want to be or not, just the way it is.  So, I don't take it lightly, when I see, James sleeping, at the bus station, maybe leaving, for good, tired of this tragic game, that may never be a win/win, but just a continuation of more misery, for both heart, mind and body.

Perfectly Parsed Lips . . . Come Closer

At first, when I saw James, casually, reclined in the chair, head against the wall, definitely deep in sleep, probably out all night, like an alley cat, on the prowl, tired from whatever the hunt was last night, an easy score with seedy women, tattooed and pierced, or a bottle of Jack Daniels, his mind was not on the Mission or me, which is fine, given the situation, easier catches are to be had, but I was going to walk up to him, like a friend would and kick his feet, like a library cop does in the Salt Lake library, when patrons fall asleep.  He looked so peaceful, I just smiled and looked over at Sandra, who is joining me on my morning ride around the valley to watch the sleepy town wake from the night thrills of Friday night . . . she is Native, and she, being a quiet restful soul, seemed to smile in understanding, that it was best to let him sleep.  After a pit stop in the restroom, I decided to gently, push him to wake, to make sure he wasn't leaving town, like he has indicated were his desires for the last week.  

I approached him, put my hand softly, on his arm, crossed behind his head, that was leaning on his hands, against the wall, with his head back, eyes closed, but his mouth, his mouth, so perfectly formed for a kiss, just a small opening, like pink silk, soft and subtle, as I moved nearer, to feel his breath on my face and mouth, caught the beauty of the man, with a more peaceful look than when awake, relaxed, at easy, calm, and the creases and wrinkles, on his face, all but gone.  I was just inches away, and my hand on his arm, seemed to make little difference, and he didn't seem to notice it, but the proximity of our lips, faces, and my eyes on him, gave me a rare, moment to get a closer look, at this man, who is usually, on the run, in and out, getting coffee, going for a smoke, heading this way or that, checking on his tramp camp, biker haven.  So, to see him still, quiet, and peaceful was a blessed moment, and a chance to get a good look at him, up close and personal.  The real thoughts of the moment, didn't really come to me, until after I decided to leave him to his dreams, his rare peace, and a drunk like state of sleep, after an obviously active night.

As I crossed the room, to join Sandra on the benches waiting for the morning bus, I picked up a magazine, with a woman, with my coloring, blonde hair, blue eyes, and pink lips, and on the cover it said, Come Closer . . . I was somewhat taken back by the title of the magazine.  The thought came to mind, and the access to the kiss, that perhaps, he was more awake than I thought.  Did he see me, through the cracks of his eyes, come close enough to feel his breath, on my face, almost close enough to kiss?  Who knows, but that message and the solidifying thoughts of his lips, so accessible, I almost regretted not just almost unnoticed by him, pressed my lips against his, and tasted of his essence, without the threat, the fear, the game, the should's and should not's of whatever we are in.  I worried about the surveillance tapes that would be running across the lobby, did they catch the feeling, the draw, the pull, the temptation, or did they just record, a woman, trying to wake a man, a feeble attempt at best?  The picture of his perfect lips, are with me hours later, a lifetime later, ummmmmm, never notice little thing like that much, but I did today.  Generally, I would say, whatever, but not today.  With him on my mind . . .

I Picked a Bad Time to Be In Love, a Bad Time to Be in Love

I just did a pit stop, and this was the oldies, moldies song on the radio, and what song could be more appropriate?  I swear . . . as I struggled yesterday, in fact for two days, to get an online application, for a legal counsel position, at Montana State University, off, with tons of interference, hackers, erasing my cover letter and letter of intent, twice, and tried to stop the third edition of the cover letter, saying there was "0" bytes, to email, even from being attached through email, interference that is a common thing, since, I am suppose to be dead, and how do you explain, someone you may have known for years, the fraud, juxtaposed against the real person, with all the experience, passion, connection, and relativity to the jobs, that the fake had only claimed to have, but never earned.  That has got to be a terrifying thing for the fake bitches, who have stolen, not only may name and identity, but everything that entails.  So, what the future holds, who knows, and James?  I am sure he doesn't trust me, after taking off last time, although, in silence, he seemed to understand and get the implications of what had happened and why I did it . . . not intending to hurt, but intending to preserve, thus the warning.  Scary shit, to say the least.

Anyway, after the bus ride this morning and tripping out around the valley, thinking of waiting lips, sexy face, and very relaxed body, the driver, answered my friends, questions about Our Lady of the Rockies, trying to dispel, at least my misconceptions of what brought the monument on the mountain.  I had heard three different versions, of the creation, of the statue.  She told us that there was a film at the Our Lady's Shop at the Butte Mall, that should answer all our questions . . . way cool!  So, after the ride, I had her drop me off at the Mall, and immediately went to the shop, to see what took place back in 1985.  After seeing the film, crying all the way through it, my vision of community, society, the world, coming together in this effort, of loving arms of a mother, bringing the feeling in the community of being a family, encircled in the arms of love, just was too much for me to take, and I succumbed to crying alone, since, I was the only one in the small theater, showing the video of the raising of the monument . . . and wow, was it inspiring, especially, knowing some of the struggles this town has had, after the mines closed down, going from one of the hottest places in the country, to barely surviving, this was a testament to the people of Butte, the tenacious spirit, and the drive, in spite of sickness, limits, and struggles, they seemed to pull of an engineering feat, that marvels many to this day, using the skills and know how of the miners, to erect this 90 feet plus monument to women, mothers, from around the world, a rare recognition, for sure.  I told the bus driver, that I had had 4 husbands, and I don't think that one of them liked me half enough to erect a monument to me!  LOL!

The Fight in the Irish Made This Happen!  LOL!

I have read in the local newspaper, hints at the political atmosphere of the locals, that everything is a fight, and the bus driver, eluded or rather just point blank said, the people in this town, fight over everything . . . I am nor sure of the context of the conversation, but it reminded me of some of the things I have read, people on the county commission or the city council, asking that people just try to work together, and get along, so they could sincerely serve the people, rather than spend all their time fighting over the issues, rather than working together to get the problems solved, and issues handled.  But, as I watch the film, which started with a man, who loved his wife, who had a terminal illness, and he wanted to inspire her to fight for life, and promised her that if she would fight and live, he would erect some type of statue for her . . . he envisioned, a statue about 5 feet high, and placing it somewhere, either on his property, or up on a hill.  So, how this thing exploded from that to the 90 statue, that stands higher than Lady Liberty, gracing the New York harbors, I don't know, other than, being pissed off at the nay sayer's, who scoffed at the thoughts of such an effort.

The husband, started talking and he had a small, statue of a lady, who looked much like the Mother Mary, with her hands stretched out, and the more people looked at it, the more, they thought that might serve as a model for the Lady of the Rockies.  But as one town member donated $2,000, another would donate $1,000, and finally, somehow, the pushers of the project, found a family who owned some property up on the mountain, near the Continental Divide, who took little more than an afternoon to decide to donate the property to the cool project.  Again, I am not sure, but this evolving effort, turned from one husband's love for his wife, to a memorial to all women, inspired by the Virgin Mary, and growing to include all the women of the earth, so cool, since there are few, such statues to women, anywhere in the world.  And what was even cooler to me, was the fact, that the men, just kind of all pitched in, volunteered their time, efforts and equipment, bound and determined to see this project through!  The women had to sacrifice the time without their husbands, but this thing just took shape, as one man, the sculptor, who had never done something like this before, said, it was as if Heavenly hands took over and he was just a tool, in the hands of divinity, creating this monument to women, worldwide!

Much Like the Statue of David, Michael Angelo, Said David Was Already There, He Just Was the Tool to Unveil Him to the World

How do you look at a piece of rock, and see the statue David?  The work of art was already in the rock, the artist just had to chip off the extra rock.  That always amazed me that Michael Angelo said that, but at times, as I have written blogs, that seem to be of significance, and I start with the idea to write one thing, and as the blog progresses, something totally different starts to happen, not necessarily from within me, but within the blog itself, the connections that my mind makes, and remembering stories, examples, that I hadn't thought of for years, is almost a spiritual experience.  That is the way this man who made the design of the statue sounded.  In fact at one point, he said, he could not figure out, how to carve the details of the hands, or some part of the body, and it was just like, an unseen hand took over and did it for him.  From that point forward, he said, the work was not his, but he was the tool.  I get that now.

Divine intervention seemed to be the order of the day, almost every step of the way.  I can't remember how much the entire statue weighs, but it is 10s of tons, and the helicopter that the National Guard used to fly each of the six parts of the statue to the top of the mountain, weigh more than the capacity of the copter.  I think the capacity for each flight was about 10 tons, and one of the pieces weighed, at least 15 tons, so they were testing the capacity of the machine, the pilots, and the people standing on the foundation, hooking the pieces together, one by one.  At one point, the largest and heaviest piece, got blown in the wind, into a spiral, death spiral if you will, spinning out of control, almost pulling the helicopter down with it, with one of the hands of the lady, getting caught in the last piece that was laid.  Remember this was put up there in December, and Butte, can be colder than a witch's tit!  But, that run, the pilot, took the piece back down, to ground zero, and got his nerves and the metal part steadied.  And luckily, there was a nice, big sky, sunset, that winter night, and they were able to connect the part, with many eyes, binoculars, TV cameras, and even President Reagan and Nancy watching, having commissioned the National Guard to help with the efforts of Butte, in this project.  Anyway, it is truly an amazing story . . . unfinished though.

Goal, To Put A Tram From the Base of the Mountain to the Lady

Right now, as it stands, tourists, have to take a bus tour up to the monument and chapel, which right now, takes about 2 hours.  If the tram is set up, they figure that it will only take 5 minutes, at a straight shot up the side of the mountain, making it much more accessible to all, locals and tourists.  When you want to see a ton of things in a town, you need to limit and economize the visit, and so this tram would make it more fun, less timely, and with a small cost, to get people up to the Chapel and the Lady.  I am sure that you can find the foundation, Our Lady of the Rockies Foundation, on the Internet, or you can contact the Butte Mall, and send donations to help with the tram.  Again this is a monument to motherhood and women, one of a kind in the world, and the world should see it.

So if you feel so inclined, to make a donation, to see this tram and other aspects of the monument expand, contact one of these entities and they will be more than glad to take a donation on behalf of a woman you love and care about.  The bus driver and her husband, each year on his mother 's birthday, write a small thing for the newspaper, to commemorate her birthday and life, and every night that someone does that, the lights are turned on in the Lady of the Rockies.  Everyday, in the newspaper, Our Lady is called on to bless marriages, anniversaries, birthdays and deaths.  It is fun to look up on the mountains each night, and see the huge woman, lighted on the mountains, blessing the people down below, in the valley.

The Men Jumped for JOY!

It was fun to see, this monumental effort being pulled off and recorded on video tapes of the news.  The men, literally jumped up in the air, just like little boys, celebrating this modern day engineering feat.  They cried, hugged, congratulated, loved on each other, and joined in a circle of prayer.  It was funny, because, when you deal in the world I do, of spooks, spies, undercover cops, you always wonder who you are really with, is their story a cover, or is it the real thing.  His James from Kansas, or is he really a local boy?  When I first met him, he mentioned something about a ranch outside of Butte?  There is a sign, on the way down to Walmart, that says, Silver Bow Hearth & Home . . . older bow's hearth and home?  Maybe . . . but in the prayer circle, there is this guy with hair just like James, which is unique in and of itself, joining the men of the community, a long hair, in with the other men, thanking God for the safe mounting of the statue.  Questions, questions, questions . . . or just imagination?

The Story of the Lady Of the Rockies, Is Inspiring, Awesome, and Amazing . . . Check Out the Film at the Mall, Free, or You Can Purchase the CD from the Shop, or Online, I would think, Among Many Other Fun Memorabilia of the Event!

Tax Write Off . . . Good Cause!

Have a Blessed and Cherished Day of Rest Tomorrow!

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