Say What You Need To Say, Eventhough Your Heart is Broken!
I can tell the NSA--forgive me for my spelling, not a spelling bee winner, ever--is on, because, once they tune in the loony toons, they start fucking with the normal operations of the computer, my blog, and basically, writing good stuff about the, puported way of life, and all of the sudden, I can't just type, put in punctuation, spell check, spacing is blocked, the cursor, all of the sudden, goes up to the title, so it appears, that you are going to write over the title, and that may very well be, due to the access, they are allowing the bitches in heat, to get to my blog, so they can feret out any offensive information, that would reveal the fact, they they are not in fact, me! They, the NSA, government, or the Mormon faction of the NSA, which is about 30,000 spies, just outside of Salt Lake City, Utah, where the Mormon Church headquarters are, making sure that there is nothing that reflects poorly on the Mormon Church, with 30,000 watchers in cyber space to protect, the 70% of the CIA, FBI or higher, and about 100% of the cyber spies, the ones who have access, or give it to the two sister's barking, that I am the liar, rather than them! LOL! HA!
I am sure that these girlz, whom I know, far to well, to respect any of them for any aspect of their lives, other than their determination, to become a part of me, either from stealing, or taking credit, including for this blog, they just simply, through bribes, pay hospital staff, bus drivers, Poverello staff, and about any one who comes in contact with me, to state, that I am other than I am, eventhough, surveillance at the Pov is readily available, and easy to be accessed by federal cops, who should be on the case, given that this whole thing started in Utah, and has followed me to Montana, with a huge number of Mormons, the association, needed to promote this underground racketeering, money laundering, and patterns of criminal behavior. There must be an association by which, all the persons, act, interact, connect, deal, scheme, and promote the criminal acts, to have a RICO action, that should be so, easily recognizable by the feds, and U.S. attorneys, having used it against, mob members, like John Goitti, and others . . . but, many mob snitches, are buried in the Mormon Church, because, nobody expects the two to mix . . . they do all the time!
Why Would My Heart Be Broken?
First of all, that people, whom I grew up with, had as sisters, friends, lovers, husbands, in the earlier years, would stoop so low as to lie for, well, I guess, I am the expection, for monetary and political gain, using me, whom they critisized, for going to law school, letting beautiful daughers go in the military, working, taking or saying, "yes" to all the job opportunities, that were offered and extended to me, with my mother, saying changing divisions, or jobs, showed instability, being flighty, or lacking the tenacity to stick with a job . . . nothing could be further from the truth! I got a new job, handed to me, almost every day to the day, January 1, of each year! And these were not you, average ordinary jobs, these were top jobs in the state, and also teaching positions within, reputable colleges and universities. In those positions, I would rip-it-up-tear-it-up, like nobodies business, eating, sleeping, mastering the position, until the task, thinking of myself, as a firefighter, in a way, putting out fires, around the state, organizing, coordinating, crystalizing objectives, and what not, often setting up a new position, that Congress just appropriated money for, like being staff attorney, for the Division of Aging, where nobody, knew exactly how to coordinate senior centers, with government areas on aging, league of towns and cities, county governments, systems that dealt with scams and fraud, in addition to the local law enforcement agencies, dealing with elder abuse and exploitation.
Rather than, celebrate at the service, the creative and tenatious skills, that I employed, to help many people, especially, the people who had been, abused, exploited, hurt, or injured in some way, and being glad, that my particular skills, of writing, as an undergrad, English major, with a communications, minor, plus teaching credentials, to help with presentations, lobbying, working with explanations, getting points across, and making other people understand what the agencies, I worked for goals, aspirations, and end results, would be, or the desired outcomes, the jealousy, even hatred, envy, and whatever, sinister plots, from poison, to death, came into their depraved and criminal minds, coupled with their alleged, allegiance to the Mormon Church, which was basically, little to none, unless, they were personally being helped, like Shelley, through the welfare system, taking some of the burden of the family, for the welfare family. Hell, Shelley, Rachel and Kay, were no scholars, not even seminary graduates, from the high school religous programs, and Shelley and Kay, either didn't make it through the temple ceremonies, or walked out, Rachel was a bit better. In area, after area, of life, from mothering, to education, to contributions, to award, to scholarship, I was above & beyond all of them . . . these are just the facts; I never even mentioned many of the awards and honors, I got, because, they came as, just doing my job!
The honors, accolades, and awards, were simply, a result of taking my job serious, and doing the best I could, and then being recognized by others, for the good work I did . . . I generally, was so into the next job, or project, that I rarely even attended awards, ceremonies, or in the case of my award winning, Domestic Violence & Sexual Assault Manual, for cops and prosecutors, I let the co-author or writer, who did about 25% of the prosecutor's issues, with me writing the grant, designing the manual, telling her, Kristine Knowlton, how we were going to do everything, or the brains behind the manual, and then writing the cops part . . . at the time we got an award from President Clinton, I was working in administration at the Utah Attorney Generals Office, desiging, 7 times the programs, videos, presentations, and setting up a library in the Capitol, for the 1800 volunteers, that I had trained to take the messege to the people of the state of Utah, benefiting, everyone, as fast as possible . . . I was just too damned busy, to stop what I was working on to go to Washington, D.C., to get an award!
Everything is as Cool as it Can Be, In a Peaceful World
In a peaceful world, one that is cool, credit goes where credit is deserved, the person who actually did the feet, is the one, who is either honored, or disgraced by the performance they do, whether fat, or thin, black or white, male or female, Jew or gentile, and so forth and so on. That is just the way things work. As I entered the Learning Center, at St. Patrick Hospital . . . through symbolic representation, on the TV or computer screen, there was a picture of two, Monarch butterflies, the symbol, for the CIA program, I think, this theft of a life, a career, a family, a blog, cases, even a whole person, always, just wanting to bring about change for the better, leave their footprint, make their mark, and contribute, to a more peaceful and better world, is fraught with doubles, lies, coverups, bribes, twins, corruption, brain washing, wigs, body padding, or whatever, dumb ass thing, they use to make them, the girlz, look, act, be, present themselves and me! How, truly sad, that the good, is substitued for the fraudulent, and somehow, nobody seems to care, nobody is willing to tell, or speak out against this travesty of justice, this blaring and abberant breach of truth! The scriptures, something these men, well boyz, and women, or better said, girlz, the mean girlz are awarded for total, bull shit, lies, and acting the part, rather than being the part.
I can't see anything cool, about stealing someone's identity, rather than creating your own, legacy, taking credit for the things you did, and if necessary, change what you are doing, and fix it. I love, the Aristolian, essay, on Virtue wherein, Aristotle, uses the example of a man's life, and how can we tell that he was happy or not, and at what point, is this fact, either apparent, or readily available for other humans to determine. He held the position, that you can never judge a man, either happy or unhappy, until the day he dies, then, you might be able to make an educated guess. Why? Because many people, who had rough backgrounds, or a rough patch is the way the people in the Poverello Homeless Shelther, put it, or at one point, in someone's life, they may have trials, and later, in life, figure out what is causing them and change.
Senator Ted Kennedy . . . A Great Example of a Life Changed
I guess, he is on my mind, because, first, I love the Kennedy brothers, President John F. Kennedy and United States Attorney General, Robert Kennedy, and Joe Kennedy, the older brother who died in serving his country. Teddy, is what I would call a late bloomer. He had his issues with alcohol, with women, the Chappequetic death of an alleged pregnant woman, also, either an affair, behind Joan's back, or a mistress of some sort. Anyway, a lot of people, only thought that his name protected him, and maybe it did, but I am sure that is not the first time in history, a famous name, helped a family member. But, when Senator Kennedy was 62 years old, he met and married a female attorney, a good lot, so I understand why sisters/friends, would want to be in that class of women . . . but everything seemed to change, as I could see, as accounts, at his funeral, at 84, if believe, started to roll off family member's mouths!
So, basically, 20 years before his death, he hooked up with this woman, divorced, herself, with two sons, and when the two, like magic, got together, Teddy's life started to change, and at the funeral, there was speculation, now the other two didn't live, long enough for us to see what happened, but that he, of all the Kennedy brothers, was actually the most influential and made the most difference for the American people, through his politics, his ability to work with the other side of the isle, and to push through, what would be considered, a liberal agenda, that the Kennedy family, and Democrats in general are know to promote, always, siding with the minority, the oppressed, the abused, the down right, poor side of society, with parent's, Rose and Joe Kennedy, pushing their entire clan to do good, to work for people, generally in government, and promote the good of those in society without a voice . . . that is what the Kennedy's were about, with all their money, etc.
Carolyn Kennedy, got up at here Uncle's funeral, and said, that he stepped up to the plate in his later years, and took over, being the parent, or standing in their shoes, for all of his children and his brother's children too, about 27 of them, if I remember correctly, and he never missed a college graduation, a wedding, a baby's blessing or baptism, and every summer, he gather the Kennedy kids, of his dead brothers, and took them on some, American, historical trip or vacation, and told the family, cousins, kids and all, about the founding fathers, about the stories and people, that made this country great, carrying on the tradition of the Kennedy patriarch and matriarch, a noble and wonderful family encouragement and contributions, with all serving, roles to better society, as seen in Jack and Bobby, taking on government and the mob, simulaneously to work with Cuba, restore the gold and silver standard to back our currency, reigning the CIA, and doing all the unpopular things a president should do, regardless of poll numbers and popular opinion, just doing what is right! Bobby was doing more to take down the mob, stop criminal behaviors, racketeering, money laundering and cleaning up the streets of major cities, than any other, either before him or after, getting rid of 15 mob members . . . or going after them!
PEOPLE FALL IN LOVE IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS
Many of you who have followed this blog, through good, bad and ugly, know that around Christmas, or shortly thereafter, James Kennedy, one of the original, or so he claims, 51 boy cousins of the famed, Kennedy family, came tripping into the Butte Rescue Mission, and as fate, or the FBI Dating Game would have it, before I knew, he was a Kennedy, my intimate patterns in love and marriage must have kicked in, and I immediately, looked down at my ring finger and panic, looking for my wedding ring? Bizarre in and of itself, due to the fact, that I could hardly keep one on, for my whole life, a symbol of the old ball and chain to me, freedom is everything, so, Mr. Kennedy's reaction on me, was somewhat, horrifying, shocking to my senses, and a bit of a mystery.
How, do we fall in love? Who, knows? But, often, there is a grand conspiracy, as some country songs would suggest, with God, being somewhat involved, or in the mind of an 10 year old, who was commenting on dating and marriage, said, he is all knowing and the rest of us, later get to find out who we are stuck with! LOL! But, once, James told me his name and family heritage, not sure, how far removed, or removed at all, since he told me that, John Jr. never really died, and he was the kid in the videos of President Kennedy's funeral procession, saluting his father on his 3 birthday, making the boy, about 53, to may recollections and poor math. But, one time, I asked him what year he was born in, and he seemed confused, and said, in 1961, which could have easily put him in the right age to be going on three, when his father who was killed, late November, 1963, with the funeral plans, probably put off for a while, so people could come to the Capitol Rotunda, to pay their respects, before he was laid to rest in, Arlington Cematery, or wherever. Conspiracy central here . . . from one account, one chair was ejected from the plane, John Jr. and Carolyn, her sister too, were flying in, wrecked just off Martha's Vineyard, near his mother's home?
YOU KNOW I AM SUCH A FOOL FOR YOU
Whether, this is James or John, doesn't matter to me, what mattered, was the way I felt with him, I felt love . . . now, he could have read my blogs, that I wrote about the 50th anniversary of Kennedy's death, actually, I wrote both in 2013 and 2014, I kept getting all these YouTube recommendations, with the Kennedy Assassination stuff, coming up, without even writing my blog on it, the normal mover and shaker behind the YouTube gods, mysterious as that all is. Did he know, that I was the one, who fought, tried to figure out the conspiracy of the brother's deaths, who was behind them, another Jim Garrison, so to say, the district attorney, who tried a guy, and came up with many who might have been involved in the assassination of the President. My reaction to him, definitely fits, former lovers and husband, biker, bad boy, wild man, outdoors man, etc. So, the intimate patterns, plus my adoration for the Kennedy's, not necessarily for their personal lives, in fact, that was a mark against him . . . some men are better memories, the first words, I almost said to him! LOL!
After we got through the scammy stuff, the pick up lines, that are like dead fish in the water to me, I have heard them all, we got down, more to the real people, the man and the woman, and that is when things started to click, at least for me, and it seemed for him. I love the country song, I must be doing something right . . . a touch of a hand, whatever, can make a woman love a man, the little things, I think. James would always, wait for me, pretending like he was busy . . . shovelling the snow, or helping with the bread, or just smoking a cigarette, timing it just right when he knew, I was coming down the stairs from the women's dorm, or going to the mess hall, or leaving for the library to type my blog for the day . . . he was almost boy-like, someone with a crush, way cool. I saw this t-shirt, yesterday, as I was finishing my 6 mile journey to and from Fresh Life Church, while taking a rest at McDonald's, and it said, while I was thinking about James, Talk Less, Fuck More . . . that about sums up, what I think life would be with him, which is just fine with me--he is not much of a conversationalist, once the hit lines are over! LOL! He acted shell-shocked, each time I asked him a question. He claims to have been raised on a farm in Kansas, so, cowboys and farmers, are not known, generally for their conversations . . . fits that characteristic, at least.
But, every night, we had to read scriptures at the Butte Rescue Mission, or some church pastor came and preached to us, and that became my favorite part of the day, because, James, either getting there before me to eat, or me, being there before him, we always, sat by each other, if he could go without a cigarette long enough, but, he would always, pull my chair a little closer to his, so we could share the same Bible, and look at the verses together. He, would try to find the books in the Bible, and did better than I thought, but he would usually, give it to me, and I could find them. He told, me once he spent a year in jail, and read the Bible 8 times, because he didn't have anything else to do, DUI. Sometimes jail, is not so bad, for obvious reasons, plus, he stayed sober, because he had to blow at the mission, to make sure nobody had been drinking, number one way to get kicked out! LOL! All good stuff! On a rare occasion when I could get him to talk, I asked him if he went to church when he was younger . . . Oh, yeah, his mother was a strict, Penticostil--sorry, NSA turned spell check off, and he always had to go to church . . . I love his mother. Most guys and gals, are really, like they were in high school, if they were religious then, they will be later on in life, and James didn't balk at all at the scripture study and it gave us a chance to sit close to each other . . . I loved it! Made me want to be married! LOL!
Take Me To Church, Like A Dog in the Street
As, I was down in the Chinese laundry, sweat shop, in the basement of the Poverello Palace, this was the title of the first song, or just a lyric, but I was anticipating going to church and also, this song made me think of James, and many, who are either wanting to return to their religious roots as children, or who have never even heard the good news of the gospel of Jesus Christ. The song was cool, but I had never heard it before, so I missed some of the lyrics, but in one part, it referred to a female, and that being the only person, he believed in, and believed, she was the one to spread the truth, about church, or maybe God. A year ago, December, I felt impressed that I should, stop writing so much about politics and write more about Jesus Christ, our savior. And it was during the conflict in Kiev, between the separatists and the Ukrainians, and Kiev was burning, and Russia was breathing down the necks of the Ukrainans to take back, or get Crimean. My heart went out to these people, as it doesn't in all countries who are steeped in war, their children, the lives shattered, the battles, that never seem to end, and I put a scripture, it is from Romans, the book in the New Testament, and it talks about the fact, that nothing will separate us from the love of Christ, not death, earthquakes, war, famine, etc. My blog got 30,000,000, yes, that is million hits . . . back when the actual numbers, before the split, burying, etc. But that is how hungry people are for this information, some, never having ever even hearing of Christ, a savior, and a redeemer!
People longing for the truth, kind of like I think James was, at least, he didn't ever complain, and seemed to be the driving force, behind me coming to the table and hearing the word, because one night, I stopped and got something to eat, late in the afternoon, so I wasn't too hungry at dinner, so I gave up my seat, that was not near James, for some reason, he probably came in late, and sat where there was room, but, I gave up my seat, to the person, so they had a chair in the crowded mess hall, and went to the back of the room, where James was sitting . . . NICE! And he told me to come up and sit by him, I declined, and said that I had already eaten, and he grabbed a chair, pulled it up next to him and told me to get something to eat, which, was cool, in and of itself, most me, given my weight, would have encouraged me to not eat, so another endearing part of what made, me dig him. But, he insisted that I come up and share, not only the food of that night, but the food and water of life with him, Jesus Christ, he seemed to hunger and thirst after the word, like the Beatitudes, say we are suppose to do, hunger and thirst after righteousness . . . he seemed to be doing that, and rather than discourage me from attending the worship services each night, he encouraged it, and really did seem to have a grasp of the scriptures, either from his mother, or jail! LOL! I'll take it either way!
Clap Along, If Happiness is the Truth . . .
All of these are titles from songs that came on before church yesterday, and just wrote them down, thinking I could use them in my blog. A cool connnections, and I am not sure that this is the song, or the artist, who just got an award, at the music awards, not much of a TV watcher, but the song, HAPPY, got some award, last night. I guess, Smith's, don't know who they are, got the best album and song, but, anyway, the artist or musician who wrote and performed the song, got an award. Here is what I wrote down, because, I describes so much the way I feel, after going to church or reading the scriptures, I can be pissed off to, because, God's ways are not our ways, but I have yet to mature enough to do stuff, like forgive people, obviously, and other challenges the scriptures try to give us, to truly make us, HAPPY . . . Clap along, if that's what you want to do, Clap along if happiness is the truth . . . give me back, if that's all you got. Because I'm happy, because I'm happy, because, I'm happy, happy, happy . . .
Everything's Going to Be Alright, Rock-a-Bye
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