I Was So Pissed, I Almost Forgot It Was Easter--Until Little Bunnies, Eggs, Chicks, and Lady Bugs With Antennas Started Coming in the Breakfront Cafe Where I Hang These Days
Okay, so I am having a melt down on my blog, due to the more than common interference with my blog--You have just logged off at another location. Do you want to log in again? Yes, I want to log in again. Close . . . well, that is the way, the other side, the frauds, get on my blog, or off, when they get pissed at what I am saying, so they split the blog, and log off, while I am still on the computer! You already know this, but needed to be reminded, so after I realize that it is Easter, celebrating Christ's Resurrection, and victory over the tomb and death, hell and whatever--thanks--I look for some type of religious program online, preferably the one I attend, Fresh Life Church.
Well, after trying several times to tune into the live broadcast, I know is going on at the Majestic Stadium in Kalispell, Montana, I am getting a substitute, really, some Seacoast Church, I would imagine somewhere near the sea or ocean, Seattle, California somewhere, not to hip on this change, nor any change for that matter, since I have been victimized by the substitutes. But the title of the message intrigues me: Outrageous Faith . . . I can see, say, do, outrageous things all the time, so I got that part covered.
My son, Chris, when discussing my travails, travels, and trials, will say, you just say what everyone else wants to say, but is afraid to say it . . . dreams, newsprint with messages from God, my Intel guy, is pretty outrageous. The message section on tell it to the mountains, is kind of like this blog--I tell nameless, faceless, millions all my crazy symbols, dreams, ideas, proposals, and thoughts--truly go tell it on the mountains, if you will. So, okay, that stuff comes naturally to me, and has gotten me locked up before, or at least held in disrepute, no big deal, I just consider the source . . . usually a cop or a sister, they are trying to promote, so no biggie.
Christ Specifically Says--You Have To Forgive Anyone--Fuck That
So, all morning God is hearing me venting and raging angrily against my enemies, who have wronged me, stolen my son's music, my cases, my name and resume, my blog, my kids and grand kids, my health, my good name and reputations . . . with righteous indignation, I just really don't think so God! I have forgiven 70 X 70, or rather 365 days a year for the last, at least 6 years, looking back and having to forgive for the ones that I was like in a fog and suppose to die . . . really, really?
Then the damn pastor, just stops right there . . . on forgiveness! That is just simply too much to ask, no, in fact, hell no! Just like when I was young, God has this habit, of when I say, why me Lord? He starts the parade of horribles starts going past me, instead of the bunnies, eggs and chicks . . . the wheel chair bound, the blind, the lame, the poor--that would be me . . . but shouldn't be, and that is part of what I am so totally pissed about God, but I see your point . . . okay, I am going to stop blogging, to show them!
Song--There is no power that can stand before the GREAT I AM
By this time, I am crying and my heart is softening, until the camera, just at the point of singing, the great I AM, pans over to a girl singing that looks like a younger version of that bitch, older sister of mine, and my thoughts turn to all she is claiming, that she did, that was me, and is still doing it, and the fucking Michael Willis, just helped her do it again, along with my father. In the paper, this morning after I saw the words, that substantiated my fears, that this latest text, attorney substitution, and whatever, was going to make it look like I was not an attorney, because I didn't want to argue with an idiot, that is too stupid to realize, that I was not suing or taking on the Girl Scouts, but the fucking government, Mormon Church and its subsidiaries, the FBI, CIA, NSA--30,000 spies in Utah, and the Secret Service, my family, clients, and whomever needs money, or wants it . . . like everyone will take a bribe!
I think God was testing my new found resolve to forgive, by leaving the writing to the doubles, to see if their numbers go down, or if they could pull it off without me? Then a scripture, that comes from Philippians came to mind . . . that he will work good through both, but one is to perdition and the other is to salvation. Okay, God, as long as she and my other enemies, end up in HELL, with fire and damnation, I can give up the honors in this life that I am entitled to . . .
Another Painful Situation I Would Have To Forgive--Could I?
Next, my mind, went to the dream I had last week of my oldest son becoming president . . . and all of the sudden, the dream made sense, but incensed me . . . my son and I were the only ones in the White House press conference room, except for the person, who said, your son will be president, now had new meaning. I am the only one who is going to know that he, Chris is my son, just like Elliot, Greta and Nicole, these other fuckers who raised dumb ass kids, are going to take credit for my stellar children!
Again, my faith was tested, and failed, too much to ask, they have shit heads for children, I took all kinds of flack for reading, studying, praying, and finally, coming to the conclusion, that it would be best, if I had my children go with their father, who was much better prepared financially, emotionally, a homebody, and hadn't helped all that much, raising the kids, the first 15 years of marriage, and I was burned out, plus got accepted to law school, during the 90 day waiting period for a divorce in Utah.
Mocked For the Outrageous Conduct, They All Envy Now!
My family mocked me for having a dream to marry my first husband, Richard Clifton Secrist, the father of all four of my children; they mocked me for having a dream to get a divorce, for having a dream to go to law school, for everything . . . but 20 years later, when the sisters, friends, husbands of sisters, parents, who wanted all hell to break out in my family, because I didn't follow the program. Not only did the chickens fail to come home to roost, but my children, myself, and grandchildren continue to thrive in sprite of their purposeful cruelty, blacklisting, sabotage, slander and libel against my family, or persecution for me gaining weight . . . my father used to bring me to business meetings to show off my beauty to his partners.
His bragging rights, in his mind, had become tainted, with the weight I put on, no longer the brilliant, beautiful, talented daughter, of yesteryear, so we will substitute in a younger, more man-made version, of liposuction, silicon breast implants, and porcelain teeth! But what in the hell do with do with four equally beautiful, smart, talented, and cool as hell children . . . the fruit doesn't fall far from the tree . . . so we will just claim that JoAnn's four children are Rachel, or Shelley, Sue, Kay, Brett, John or Jacks, Michael's, or Allan's, aka, Frank of InterPol!
Today, I Committed My Life to Jesus Christ for the First Time
Next on the parade of insults, or challenges, God hurled at me, came with a pop up or note that said that . . . I thought, I was baptized at the age of 8 into your alleged church, or at least I was buried to emerge as a new person; next at 17 I wanted my calling and election made sure, willing to make any sacrifice, which I have, and been tarnished for doing so, even though it turned out well. Then I married who you, God, wanted me to marry, not whom I loved, wasn't that enough? How about having a baby 10 months after the prophet said to not put off your family, for your education . . . 14 years later, and 4 kids, we finally reached our early educational goals, but our marriage was the cost.
Then came the dream to go to law school, and the decision, after much agony to give the kids to their dad, then the schooling, the work, then came the slap down by either the government or you, with the PIX Disease, the death sentence, etc. Now you seriously think that after I honestly tried my whole life to follow, at least what I believed to be your direction in my life, I am asked to not get credit for a damn thing I have done, after the humiliation, the taunting, the talk, the gossip, and all, you want me to forgive these people, who took everything from me right at the time, I was actually recovering from the first death sentence?
I forgive a second time, and rebuild, go to the U.S. Supreme Court, build a second home, just for my grand kids, and again, everything stripped from me, in less than one year, houses, cars, trucks, art, furniture, law practices, I just got built up again . . . children that are wonderful, chased, harassed, trashed, lied about, robbed, while watching the pain of my children paying the price, while those that are using my and my son's money, to go after, bribe, buy, pay off, and cover up the crimes against me . . . really, you seriously, want me to forgive these assholes, are you kidding?
Take Up Your Cross & Follow Me
The same scripture, that gave me the strength to give my children up to their father, with me seeing them all the time, more than my sisters who lived with their children, and assured me that if I left, that I didn't get any credit for their accomplishments . . . really, what divorced father, who gives the mother custody, and remains a faithful father, doesn't get any credit, this is all part of the punishment for pulling it off, outside the program!
If you are not willing to leave father, mother, sister, brother, property, or lands, and take up the cross and follow me . . . you are not worthy of me! In bitterness, I decided, okay, I will quit blogging, let them suffer trying to explain their pathetic writings, just stop, cold turkey, on one of the activities that has brought me so much joy, more than any case, any piece of legislation, training, manual, etc. I will give it up for you . . . reluctantly, but as always, ultimately making that decision, hard as it is . . .
As I walked past the little bunny treaters and their parents, I noticed a young couple that looked a lot like my so Chris, his wife, Kat, and baby, Yulia--as if God, says, he can see what you have been trying to say all the way along, your motives, your sacrifices, your rational, your reasoning, that may not have been so clear at the time I made the decisions, just expecting my children to understand and go with the program, just deal with it, that has ultimately made them who they are . . . so fucking wonderful!!!!!!
Outrageous Leaders, Do What Other People Won't--Do What is In the Best Interest of Their Children, Even When It Doesn't Seem Right!
I don't know what the future brings for any of my children, but public notice is a small thing to sacrifice, for great men and women, my children to thrive, without the interference of their mother, who is, to say the least, very strong, opinionated, and loves them desperately, enough to once again, let God take his course with them . . . they didn't disappoint me last time, they had the responsibility of making their own very enlightened decisions for their own lives, and I am sure they won't at this time, if mom, steps out of the picture for awhile . . . if these people, who couldn't raise their own children right, can help mine, to serve and shine where God wants them, then who am I to stand in the way?
I have to work on the forgiveness part, but I will let go, let GOD, have his ways in my children's lives, and in mine, he has never failed me, not once, even when I think he is asking the impossible!
FAKES, YOU HAVE ONE WEEK TO TAKE OVER THIS BLOG AND WRITE WHAT YOU WANT, USING THIS FORUM I HAVE SET UP, BUT IF INSPIRED, I AM TAKING IT BACK IF THERE IS NOTHING GOOD THAT COMES OF THIS RELEASE! I AM TIRED OF FIGHTING YOU FOR THIS BLOG!!!!!!!
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